Thursday, December 29, 2011

Sensual Pegging

This post is more geared towards sex in general - and nothing really in particular to my situation.

There is a great tumblr called Sensual Pegging. The link is The "goal" of that tumblr is "Sensual, loving pegging from a non-BSDM perspective, via a guy who really loves it. Images, video and Q&A about pegging, as well as beautiful women showing off their gear. Kinky, but not TOO kinky."

The thing I like about the site is that it does present the pegging aspect from loving relationships - not necessarily the "pain" that much of the other strap-on porn does. Usually, you see sites like "men in pain" or "girls abuse guys" etc. While both presentations are worthy, it's just that it seems the humiliation, aggressive, and almost non-consensual ones play into the stereotype about pegging that turns both vanilla men and women off.

The "sensual pegging" site recently posted the picture below.

I agree with everything written in that picture. But I found the heading to be way too limited. That heading should read "What straight men AND women need to know about Pegging." The vast majority of vanilla straight women who hear about pegging immediately freak out. They think the guy is gay. They lose respect for him.

If pegging is not your thing, that's fine. But if your lack of desire is solely due to the fact that mainstream society tells you it's not o.k. to like it, well I humbly suggest rethinking that position.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011


Shouldn't come as a surprise because of all the stuff that happens during December, but there has been a serious lull in anything WLM in or out of the bedroom. I've tried to stop her from doing work around the house, but she's relentless. I think part of the issue is that she's at home with the kids while I'm at work and she can a lot done before I get home.

Still, what has this done to me? It's making me ache for service and submissive. I'm desiring it more and more. I've been wearing panties and using some of the Champagne Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer at work to try to satisfy the urges, but it's not the same. Especially since it's not ordered by her. I'm doing it on my own, which can only take me so far.

I have already decided to offer to clean anything she wants, perform any repairs around the house she wants and offer anything to her. I will make suggestions of things I think that she wants too.

I'm sure that other men out there understand what I'm trying to get across. It's an ache that needs to be filled.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011


This woman, well, just wow. Not only the look, but the attitude. And these quotes? Couldn't have said them better myself!

"We want you to order Scotch. It's the most impressive drink order. It's classic. It's sexy. Such a rich color. The glass, the smell. It's not watered down with fruit juice. It's Scotch. And you ordered it."

“Panties is a wonderful word. When did you stop saying ‘panties’? It’s sexy. It’s girlie. It’s naughty. Say it more.”

"I could sit down with a bag of chips and French onion dip and go to town"

I think that if I came home with her standing there with a bottle of Blue Label, I would honestly think I died.

Monday, December 12, 2011

I know she's kidding but........

Last week, my wife took the kids to the sports teacher, the one mentioned in the post "A Little Fun."

I decided to tease her, texting her, asking how he was doing. Her response was simply calling me "silly." I ratcheted it up a notch, texting that I was sure to make myself ready tonight if she were excited from seeing him, to which she responded that it wasn't going to happen because it was "that time of the month". I responded that "wow [name omitted] must be bummed" and her response was "totally."

I realize how tame that is for people who are actually engaged in the lifestyle, or much more experimental, but it's a positive sign that she's joking about it, instead of being totally turned off by it.

And then last weekend, we went out and she wore a short dress, which I thought she looked great in. She was nervous about it, saying it was shorter than she liked, but I think once we were out, she was fine.

On the other hand, she hasn't made any real efforts to deny me. While I would have previously decided that was because she didn't want to take the lead, I actually now understand that she's just doing what she wants to do. So I'm taking it as a positive.

Finally - I have been much better since my mistake. I have made extra efforts to clean and to fix things around the house. She has definitely noticed and has been happy - making me happy!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

I screwed up

We were recently having dinner with friends and I playfully made some comments about my wife to everyone, which were funny and well received. Unbeknownst to me, however, she bristled at it, thinking that I was being a little to pointed and personal. In no way did I mean my comments to be taken by anyone in that manner, let alone her taking it in that manner.

Once we got home, she brought the subject up, explaining why she did not appreciate what I had said. And this is where I screwed up. I defended myself, telling her that the comments were not negative to her, that I did not mean them to be negative, everyone thought the comments were funny, and, in essence, that she should not have taken the comments in that manner.

There are many problems with what I did. The first thing I should have realized was that she was expressing to me how SHE felt about the comments, which is the most important thing. She did not like the comments. They made her uncomfortable and she did not appreciate them. My initial reaction clearly showed to her that my first inclination was NOT her feelings, which is of course, a poor showing on my part.

Regardless of how I meant the comments, I should have first apologized. Trying to explain to her why I made the comments, explain my actions etc., was o.k. to do, but the apology should have come first.

I'm also kicking myself about my reaction because it is not indicative of how I do want our relationship to move forward. If I had handled the situation the proper way, we could have had a discussion several days after the incident, wherein I could not only explain verbally how I would like the relationship to move forward, but it could have also served as an illustration.

I could have sat down with her and explained that in the future I will be more respectful to her in public and much more cognizant of how my comments can be perceived. I could have explained that I recognized my error and immediately apologized.

Assuming I had done it correctly the first time, and then we discussed the issue like I stated, she could have reflected on the incident, having a more concrete example of how she should be treated all the time. And how I should be reacting to her, what is expected and what is not tolerated.

Instead, when I continue to try to bring up concepts of her being more "dominant," that I want a WLM, she can possibly think back to the night as it actually happened and think "what the hell is he talking about. That night didn't really show me that wants this. He must be just trying to get his kinky side met and doesn't really care about this other stuff."

Now, don't get me wrong - I did properly apologize the next day. But the force and effect is not the same.

I'm kicking myself for my mistake, but I have learned. Since that date I have made a better effort.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

A little fun.

So, there is a young coach that my wife has hired for two of my kids for a sport. Apparently, he's rather good looking, information which my wife casually mentioned at a dinner party. She had never mentioned it to me before.

Furthering the conversation when we got home, she completely downplayed the entire thing. She said while he was cute, he was way too young for her, she didn't really think about him etc.

Now, while I like the cuckolding concept in fantasy, I highly highly doubt that I would ever even consider it. There would have to be a whole lot of discussion well before it would occur. More importantly, unless she's completely lying to me and I have no reason to ever believe that she is lying, she states she has zero desire to actually cheat on me.

When we were discussing this guy, it was totally relaxed, non-confrontational, just us talking. I took her at her word.

Later that night, I decided to have a little fun with her, just to see if she would go for it. When we were in bed and kissing, I started a little role playing pretending to be the guy, calling her by her married name "Mrs. [Smith], I'm glad you have the kids in my camp. I've been watching you and always thought you were so hot" and that sort of thing. She resisted doing it for a while, but I persisted, and eventually she came around. It was playful. I could tell it was more funny to her than sexy.

Definitely not something I ever expect for her to try to implement on her own. It was fun though.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Does it Matter if She's More Interested?

Some recent events have me wondering more and more whether my journey is actually complete? Meaning, I'm beginning to think that we already live in a WLM and that the efforts on my part to get certain things are very much my own issues/problems and not hers.

I would like acknowledgement from her, I would like more direct commands, I would like more demands for service, I would like domestic discipline, I would like more tease & denial, I would like enforced chastity, I, I, I, I!!!!!! Those are all very clearly things I want - and not necessarily things she wants. In fact, she does some of those things. She does them, however, when she wants. She does them if I suggest them, but there have been times when she's done some of them on her own. Who am I to push to her to do them more? Shouldn't it be that she will do them when she wants?

I had two recent epiphanies. First, the entire family was out at the park and there was another family we are good friends with there. The other family was going out to dinner and my oldest son started asking me if we could go out to dinner. I did not commit, saying that we'd talk to his mother. Some time passed and it wasn't brought up again, but then he started saying that we were going to dinner. He had apparently asked his mom, who said yes, without ever consulting me. My son, then, started to say how mom was in charge, so we were going to dinner. She told him to stop it, to stop saying that, and saying that she would talk to me. But can anyone guess what happened? The fact of that matter is that he knows I'll check in with her, but she won't necessarily check in with me.

The second epiphany was that I was walking by the refrigerator and noticed that my wife had put a list of "things to fix" in the house. They included major projects like a repair that an actual contractor would do (not something I can do), but the remaining projects were all things that I could actually do. She never told me she was making the list. She never asked me to do anything on the list. Yet, after seeing it, I started to do the things on the list.

She, of course, noticed that I had some of them and thanked me for doing them. Again, she never asked for them to be done. She never demanded them to be done. I actually believe that when she wrote them and placed them on the refrigerator she never intended for me to just start doing them. That's not really her style. She put them there as a reminder to herself to get me to do them eventually.

Those two events - and the fact that she thanks me for doing all of these things, including things like last night thanking me for cleaning the counter and the bathroom etc., just really hit me that she is already living her version of a WLM.

It does seem to me that she has become more and more interested in some of the things like tease and denial and chastity and other things and I clearly hope that will continue and increase. The more I think about it, though, the more I realize that I am happier than I thought. I am happier because she is happy and where she wants to be.

The journey continues, but I'm much less stressed. And eagerly awaiting to complete the remaining tasks on the refrigerator.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Is She More Interested?

There have been some great things that give me hope for a future WLM, to whatever extent that might be. On the other hand, it could just be that she is enjoying my continued efforts to be in her service. Not only do I perform the tasks that she wants, but I also attempt to perform tasks that I know she will like, without being asked.

I have made coffee for her in the morning, before going to work so it will be ready when she wakes up.

I have put love notes where she will eventually find them.

I did extra work around the house (I already do a lot around the house)

And then other little things, like one night, as she was getting into bed, she said "damn, I forgot to get water for the night." Instead of saying anything, or making a big deal out of it, while I was getting ready for bed, I went downstairs, got water and brought it to her. She was very appreciative.

In addition, on her own, she began a little tease and denial game. One night, she began rubbing me in bed and then stopped, telling me that I would have to wait. We had a lot of fun for a couple of days, though it was not a long denial period. I thoroughly enjoyed it because it was all her idea - I had not brought up T&D for a long time.

One night she asked me if I would do her toenails. I happily agreed. As I set everything up, she turned on the tv, trying to find something to watch. She noticed that we had dvr'd a new "Private Practice", a show she loves, but I loath. She mentioned that she'd find something else to watch because she knew I disliked it. I immediately told her that she could watch it and, again, she was very appreciative.

In way, these are all very good things. I'm satisfying my own urges by being in her service as much as possible. She's definitely appreciative of the things I'm doing. The familiar refrain, however, from a male sub trying to get a vanilla wife to enjoy a WLM is the actual acknowledgment from her that she is the more dominate one in the relationship.

We have not discussed or agreed that ours will be a WLM. And while I fully agree that in a WLM, it should be about her and what she wants, I will still need to know that she is actually doing what she wants, as opposed to what she thinks I want. Or, she not thinking about it at all. Because if she is not even thinking about it, then it will a vicious cycle where I crave the WLM, but she is not actively engaging in that dynamic, causing some consternation on my part.

Now, my situation as it stands, however, is NOT one in which I am frustrated. I'm not frustrated because we have never agreed to have a WLM. This is more about how I believe we are progressing towards a WLM. Where we ultimately end up is still unknown, but I am happy that we are progressing.

Yes, she asked for me to do her nails instead of telling me that I was going to do them. Yes, technically I allowed her to watch Private Practice. Had I said "no, let's watch something else" she would have watched something else.

On the other hand, after many of these things, she said "you're too good to me." And that is something I hope to remind her of in the future when I believe she will be receptive to discussing an adoption of the WLM ideal.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Something New

So, I did something last night that I've never done before. I was super horny, and luckily so was she. We were on the couch, watcthing tv, basically cuddling together. She was on top, sort of to the side, and I had my arm around her waist.

I being nibbling on her ear and neck and we started kissing. This went for a long time (reminded me of highschool - on the couch kissing - fully clothed). One thing led to another and I reached my hand down to start taking off her pants, when she stopped me, telling it was the wrong time of the month.

Undeterred, I took off her shirt, spending ample time on her breasts and stomach. I continued then to her pants, which this time she didn't stop me. I'm not sure what she was thinking, but I had developed a plan.

I took the pants off, but left her panties on. I began kissing her inner thigh, her legs, her calves and going back and forth between each leg. Finally, I began my plan - I pulled the panties at the top together and then pulled up - encasing her lips tight in the panties, but giving me access to everything else. I licked up and down each side getting the edges of the lips, but nothing in the middle. After lots of that teasing, I pulled the tops of the panties down, exposing her clitoris, but not much else below. With the extensive foreplay, she was ready to explode. With just the clitoris exposed, it didn't take me long to bring her off.

A very enjoyable evening. A hell of a lot better than watching tv. I know she liked it!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


Ooooh, Stewie and football. Two of my favorite things in one photo. Too bad these girls are distracting me.

Monday, October 24, 2011


Perfect picture. Well, I guess if she actually had a book in one of the hands it would be better, but damn. Love this one.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Reblog if.......

From I wonderful picture site for those sub-inclined.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Light Hearted Stuff

Modern Family:
Anyone see the most recent "Modern Family" tv show? If you did, did you get a kick out of the subtle cuckolding aspect? Yes, this show is on normal, national broadcast tv, so they weren't going anywhere "naughty", and the joke was that it was all just a big misunderstanding (she goes out with her gay brother and she thinks the hot friend is also gay, so she's very open with him, but he turns out to be straight).

But for those of us aware of the cuckolding scene, they were rather obvious. As soon as her husband is gone, she gets all dolled up for a night on the town. She is flirty, has the guy take off her dress so she can try on new clothes, and buys a short red dress with him. The fact that she gets "found out" by the rest of the women in the neighborhood.

And really, if you know anything about the show and the characters in it, she is most definitely in charge in that marriage.

Breast Cancer.

Also, here is some funny, yet supremely important, information about breast cancer.

And even though TopKat really tried to help me, I'm not sure if I succeeded in providing the link, so you might have to cut and paste.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Going in Opposite Directions?

The url for this blog is "she's a wonderful wife." And it's true - she is. That url refers to her as a person, though. A whole person, not just anything sexual.

It's interesting - we were forced to be apart for about a month. September was pretty much a lost month for us. Without giving away too much, let's just say that the entire month of September, she was on her own, taking care of the kids. Because my job requires that from time to time, I'm supremely grateful and happy that she's such a strong woman that she can handle everything that goes along with those responsibilities. To be able to leave and know everything will be fine is great peace of mind.

It also forced us to "take a break" from anything sexual, let alone kinky. And this break has me re-evaluating the WLM, submission, and even tease & denial, where that is going for both of us, where it is going for her and for me.

She is not "wired" in the kink this way. This is more about her personality overall, rather than anything kinky. Actually, it's both. She's not kinky at heart, but also, the way in which she goes about her day does not lend itself to "planning" anything kinky. Let's put it this way: Kink can be a lot of work! If someone is naturally inclined for that, they usually spend lots of time thinking about it and/or getting ideas from reading websites. She is never going to do either of those things. And since she is not naturally inclined, the thought process of introducing something "kinky" never ever crosses her mind.

I used to think that she considered the options, but just chose not do it. But now I'm more convinced that the thought never crosses her mind, unless I've put it there. I have not brought up denial in a while and the last couple of times that we've engaged in love, there has not been any effort on her part to deny.

This development doesn't bother me in the least, though, because I know that gains have been made. Moving into a 24/7 WLM was never something I thought would happen - especially not when the kids were still around. I was also well aware that no matter how far she got on the kinkier side, she would never match me.

But the strides and gains are palpable. She has gotten kinkier. She is more willing to engage in things. The gains won't be lost either. I'd rather her engage in T&D 24/7/365, which will not happen, but I also believe that there will be times in the future it is done by her on her own. I don't believe she'll revert to complete nothing.

So I'll keep pushing and see where it goes. The journey does, indeed, continue.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Denial - but not in the good way

Same old story, same old song and dance!!! Work has killed me - I've been traveling for the last two weeks, essentially being "on call" from 8 a.m. till about 10 at night.

And it's not going to get any better. The month of September is shaping up to be about the same.

The worst part is when I'm finally back in the office and not traveling, the hours are almost virtually the same. Once I get home, because she's had the kids all day, we try to re-connect, but it's very difficult.

It's temporary and we both know that. The problem for me is that she generally doesn't want to engage in anything "kinky" unless we are connecting well on an emotional level, which does not happen in these situations. So everything is on a hiatus for a while. Of course, for me, it doesn't decrease my desires. In fact, mine go into more of an over drive.

I'm desperately wanting the following: (all found on various tumblrs out there)

Oh, and one more:

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Excellent Pic

I wish I could link correctly - still haven't perfected that.

This pic is from

I just love the pic. She's happy/smiling and clearly having fun with the situation. Sex is fun! People are, in general, wayyyyyyy to uptight about it. Enjoy yourself and your partner in whatever way you want!

I love the fact that the bottle of KY lubricant is visible in the background. Tells me that this isn't a "staged" photo. These people are ready to play.

There isn't much else to update on my front. Still having fun, but haven't tried to introduce the device again.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Other Night

My last post was "this happened last night." The events described in this post happened that same night, which brought a little bit of more understanding in my situation.

Long story short - we made love, with me getting the release. It was initiated by her and all very good. The more interesting part was that afterward, she brought up the tease and denial issue on her own. She just began talking about how she does understand the whole denial thing when I describe what I like about it, but that she also still has a little bit of a guilt type reaction in doing the denial. This was not said in any negative fashion, more of a description of what she feels.

She likes the tease and denial, likes doing it, and likes it when she finally brings me off because of how much I react. It's the reaction she can elicit from me, both in the teasing part, but also the ending part!

The part I'm not describing well is what she talked about regarding the "guilt" or "feeling bad" in the denial part. I'm not describing it well because it's not something that bothers her. She has no negative reaction in general to the whole thing, it's just that she still does feel a little "bad" about denying me. I assured her that if she ever teased and then denied me, I would never ever get mad at her and that I would in fact love it. She emphatically stated she knew that and understood that.

The good thing, of course, is that she continues to enjoy doing it and I do believe that it will continue. I would like it to be more frequent and more permanent, but I understand that for right now I should be very happy with what she is comfortable with. Maybe as the years go by it will become more natural for her and she will not have the guilt part at all, but we'll see.

She is going away this weekend. I am trying to decide whether to request being put in the device while she is gone. As with everything with her on that front, I'll have to be careful when to bring it up, if at all. She really has to be in the "mood" to increase the chances of a positive reaction. When I say in the mood, I don't mean a sexual mood. I mean in a good mood: she is happy with me, happy with us, and the kids haven't been driving her crazy. I'll try my best to make all of that happen, to see if she is willing to do it.

Friday, August 12, 2011

This Happened Last Night

No, this is not a pic of us. But this happened last night. She never makes this position happen on her own. I'm always the one to manuever it to happen this way. That doesn't detract from my enjoyment! When doing it, she usually grabs on like this, more for stability than anything.

She got me off too, but that's for a different post.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Hmmmm, Interesting

There is much good news on my front!! Our relationship is progressing in the chastity/wlm arena and I'm very excited about the future.

As you know, I previously asked for orgasm control from her, which she agreed to. Since that time, we've been "practicing" male chastity, but it hasn't actually felt like it to me because it was without a device and it just never felt like she was actually denying me.

Essentially, the rule was that I could no longer have any orgasms without her permission. But, without wearing a device, I could always masturbate on my own without her knowledge. And whenever we had sex, there was hardly ever any direction/demand by her to not cum or anything like that. There was no outward denial. It was more of an unspoken rule and while I was denied, it was not really discussed or brought up by her.

In other words, my perception of the "male chastity" was that I would not cum until we engaged in sexual relations. If we had sex once a week, 99% of the time, I would be cumming during that session.

That was part of the reason why I tried to introduce the CB-6000 in the first place. Then, the whole situation with the CB-6000 led me to believe that she liked it, but that unless I asked for it again, she wouldn't do it on her own.

Well, she still hasn't introduced the device again, but on Sunday we were in bed after a long day, just relaxing before going to sleep. I was leaving for business on Monday and not returning till Tuesday. Out of the blue, she reached down and started to gently touch me through my boxers. This surprised me because usually if we are going to have sex she needs a lot more warming up before going straight for the groin. I wasn't particularly in the mood, but her direct approach, without even asking, got me in the mood very quickly.

I began kissing her and figuring she was horny, brought her off to two G-Spot orgasms and one clitoral. She was very happy. After she calmed down, she began stroking me through my boxers again! I fully expected her to take them off and we would either have intercourse or something else, but she continued to lazily, slowly and very sensually rub me through my boxers. I was ready to burst, leaking pre-cum all over the place. She showed no signs of doing anything other than what she was continuing to do, yet if she did continue, I was going to cum.

I was getting closer and closer and then she suddenly just stopped. She said that was "enough for tonight" and that I would have to wait until I got back from my trip! She then said "I want you thinking about me on your trip."

I was loving it. Not only because this is what I've wanted for a long time, but also because it was done completely out of the blue by her. It was her idea. This was not me dropping hints and her acting on them. It was not me asking for it and her doing it because I asked. This was her doing it on her own decision. Whether she sat there thinking "I wonder what I can do to make him happy" or whether she sat there and thought "I really want to play with him because it makes me really happy" or a combo of both, it's all very very good.

There was a fine line that I did not want to cross with this at that time. I didn't want to get overly exuberant, possibly turning her off, but I also wanted to make sure she knew just how much I loved what she did. After we had been laying there, cuddling for a few minutes, I leaned over, kissed her, said I loved her and then said "thank you for tonight." She definitely understood the meaning behind the "thank you."

I left the next morning very happy. We texted and talked throughout the day, but nothing specific about the night before. Eventually, we texted about our days and she said she was doing fine, just going through work crap. I replied "ditto, but I have blue ones right now, so I'm loving it." She replied "great, exactly what I planned :)." She texted some other funny stuff about it later than night too while I was gone.

It was only a one day trip, so the Tuesday night I was in bed early waiting for her to finish her routine in the bathroom. I was wondering what was going to happen, if anything. We were happy to see each other and everything was great, but still didn't know if there would be any sex that night.

Once she got in bed, she immediately went for me again. Instantly hard at her touch and we started lightly kissing. She then forced me on my back and scootched down, taking off my underwear. I just loved the control she was exerting. She was calling the shots. I'm usually the one who initiates, or who takes the kissing to the next level. Instead, it was all her again.

She was manipulating me with her hands for a couple of minutes and then began to lick and suck. Wow. She had me writhing very soon. She wasn't fully going down, instead doing the slow licks. Sometimes taking me fully into her mouth, but not going fast. I fully expected that she would bring me off that night, but again, instead she suddenly stopped and said "sorry, you don't get to cum tonight. Maybe tomorrow, maybe not" and laughed a very playful laugh!!!!!

I was sooooo turned on by the stroking, partial bj, previous nights, her attitude and the fact that she had actually denied me, that I couldn't help but yank her close and ravish her with kisses. We kissed so passionately for a while, I didn't want to stop. I tried to take off her shorts, but she said no saying she was already happy enough and just enjoyed what she had done to me. I told her that denying me from going down on her was worse than denying me an orgasm! Eventually, we calmed down and she said it was time to sleep.

Again, just like the other night, I was laying there desperately trying to figure out the perfect words to say that would convey how incredibly happy I was, without turning the loving moment into something cheap and fetishy. I finally just hugged her, kissed and said "at the risk of ruining it by talking about it, I can't tell you enough how happy I am and am loving what you're doing." She smiled and kissed me, saying "I know."

From where we were, to now, it's all a very good thing. We are closer. We are communicating more. It's not even about me - yes I'm loving this - but she's doing this all on her own. I haven't brought up the device, or even T&D for a long time, and yet she did this all on her own.

Again, I'm taking this all in perspective. I don't expect this to be weekly, let alone daily, type of interaction. She will not graduate into a full WLM like described by Uniquely Rika or other prominent bloggers like "subservient husband", at least not right now. Those things could be done in the far future, but not now. But more and more instances such as these definitely are welcome and encouraging. The more she finds things she enjoys and implements them on her own accord, the happier we are.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Attempt at a Creampie

As you know, she did not put me back into the device after she let me out. For the next couple of days, we still engaged in some sexual relations, but nothing "blog worthy."

For people who have read my entire blog, they'll know that I find eating creampies very exciting. I've done it before, but it is very infrequent. One reason is that I'm the stereotypical guy who finds this idea extremely hot, but immediately after orgasming, the desire immediately disappears and I can't get down there to finish the job. This is extremely common from what I understand from reading other people's feelings on the subject. There have been many times before where I've made that decision prior to cuming and then not going through with it afterward.

So, in mid May, without any continued chastity device, I was trying to figure out ways to keep things moving forward. Along with that idea, I decided to eat a creampie from her, or anywhere else it ended up. Whether it was on her, in her, in her mouth, or on me, I made the determination that I would somehow consume it.

My way to "force" myself down there is, immediately after cumming, to start kissing her, caressing her, anything to keep going again, to get me hornier again. It usually works. After a minute or two of continuing with her, I get excited enough to want to go down there.

So, the chance eventually presented itself. It had been a long time since we had actual intercourse. Sure, we had engaged in sexual relations: me giving her lots of orgasms, she had given me that handjob and blowjob, but no intercourse for a while. I could tell that night, after we started, that she really wanted intercourse, so away we went. I was on top this time.

I came, and then was able to bring her off, and then I rested on top of her. We had both calmed down after a while and I started kissing her again. I then slowly made my way down to her breasts for a while, then down to her stomach, inching my way towards my goal. As I kept going lower, she realized where I was headed and she said "whoa, what are doing?"

I could tell she didn't want me to eat her out, but figured it was because I had just cum in her. Kind of laughing, I said "Nothing. Just going to try to make you happy."

I curious what her response would be. She then said that she was already very happy, she was too sensitive, and she didn't want me to continue. Interestingly, she didn't mention that I had just cum in her.

This type of scenario has happened before. Where I've eaten the creampie and was never sure if she even realized it. Still not sure if she realized it that night. I know some would say "she surely has to know" but honestly, I don't think she thinks like that a lot of the times.

And my belief that she doesn't really think about it was even more proven to me very recently. I'm jumping around the timeline here, but the last time we made love, I had again decided to eat the creampie. This time she was on top. I personally like her being on top because I can last longer and I can use my hands on her to bring her off to a great orgasm.

While she is multiorgasmic, she does need a little bit of down time before more stimulation to her clitoris occurs. So, after she was done, I again waited for a bit, both for her and for me. She was still sitting on top of me and I had her lean down to kiss me. Eventually, I pushed her back up so she was sitting on top with me still in her, with her legs still curled back.

While I have eaten creampies before they've all been when she was laying down. I've never done it with me on my back and her sitting on my face. This was going to be a first for me.

I pushed her further back at the waist so I could grab both of her legs and pull her up to my face quickly. As I began to grab her legs, she realized what I was going to have her do and she made a comment along the lines of "oh, we're still going?" It was more a comment about continuing sex in general, as opposed to anything related to a creampie.

Instead of responding, I just pulled her up quickly. It was night, so I couldn't really see, but as I pulled her up, I could feel a quick drop onto my chest before I was able to put my mouth under her. Immediately upon doing so I got a big rush of my cum into my mouth.

I've watched creampie eating porn and most of the time, this is the manuever that they use, where you can see the cum drip out. Usually, the woman is several feet above the guy (or girl) so you can see it drip all the way down, and I've always wanted to have the sensation - of it dripping into my mouth.

I have to say, it was actually better than I had hoped. The smell, the taste and the feel of her was new, different and delicious. Eating her, in this position, was definitely better than with her laying down. And maybe it was because I had been in her for so long and had quickly pulled her off, but her pussy was more open, much much more slick and different than any time before.

I loved every second of it and have almost made up in my mind to do it all of the time! The kicker ............. again, I don't think she understood/realized what I had just done!!!!!!! She never said a word, one way or the other. I just think that the thought "he must have eaten a huge load of his own cum when he did that" ever crossed her mind. I am incredulous too - how could someone not realize that occurred? I don't know. I just think that if she really realized what happened, she would have said something. Either that it was gross, or hot, or, well, anything! Or maybe she just chose to ignore it.

Not sure. Despite that hot night, though, I know it doesn't change my view of eating creampies. I know that, no matter what, as soon as I cum, the desire leaves.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Taller Than Me

We recently went out to the movies. She surprised me. I came home from work on a random day and she told me to change to go out. She didn't tell me where we were going or what we were doing, just to change. So, I did!

When we were ready to leave, she was dressed in jeans, a normal summer top, but was wearing new shoes. They were these "type" of shoes, though a completely different color and pattern:

The shoe height, type and heal, however, were very similar. It's a tall heal. She was taller than me when wearing them. As we were leaving, she commented that she was taller than me and it was a "different" feeling. I made sure to tell her that I really liked the shoes and had no problem with her being taller than me!

I know I was projecting my own feelings on how she was looked, but she definitely had a sexy, confident, happy walk to her that night. Turned me on very much. I made sure to thank her for planning the night, and made sure to tell her I loved the shoes, including how I perceived them.

I hope that she continues to wear those type of shoes because of how it makes her feel

Thursday, July 28, 2011

I couldn't agree more!

This is the perfect comment to this picture.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Book and a Redhead

Can't pass up the opportunity to re-post a hot Redhead reading a phenomenal book. If you've never read it, you have to read this book. Yes, the Kubrick movie was very good too, but the book is an experience onto itself.

re-posted from:

Monday, July 25, 2011

Monthly Visitor

It's my wife's time of the month and like many women, she does not feel well. PMS definitely occurs. She and I were discussing it last night and she was recognizing she was being "bitchy." Of course, I told her last night it didn't bother me and I understood what was going on.

So, I'm looking to my readers to provide some suggestions on something I could "go through" once a month when she was also going through it. I'm not looking for something "sexual" - I'm thinking more of either a service type thing (massage or something) or something I have to "suffer" through.

I do not want to suggest me being locked in the device, because I don't want to only associate that with her not feeling well!

Any suggestions would be appreciated!

I didn't have the balls yesterday to tell her it was Femdom Day, but as she was leaving the house to do some errands, she mentioned that she wanted to sit down with me later and come up with a meal plan for the week. As soon as she left, I downloaded a weekly meal planner from (BTW - that is a great site for ideas) I planned the entire week with not only the meals, but also recipes. I prepared the shopping list too. When she returned, I presented it to her and asked her to add anything to shopping list so I could that for her. She was very impressed!! Made me feel very good.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Wrapping up the Chastity Experiment

A lot of additional things that are blog worthy happened after the last post (which occurred in May) and today that I will ultimately report. However, after the cage came off, it never went back on, so I can summarize where we are with the chastity idea.

It was a great experience for me. I loved it. I would willingly go back in if she ever asked. And I'd go back in for however long she wanted. This probably does not come as a shock to anyone reading this blog.

The more pertinent question, of course, is what does she want! My interpretation of our discussions about the device, my interpretation on how she enforces the "non-device" chastity, and my interpretation of how she dealt with me being in the device leads me to believe that a chastity device is something that may occur in the future. This is why I've previously said that while I'm no longer in the device and since it was taken off she's never attempted to put it back on, I was still optimistic about the future.

I believe she enjoyed playing with me while I was in the device. She wasn't faking anything. Her texts indicated a playful side. Even the teasing, she enjoys. On the other hand, I know that she was not pleased with the lack of cleanliness. That's a turn-off for her.

The overriding issue is that she does not focus on, or think about, kink unless prompted. Meaning, I can't ever really imagine her coming up to me one night, completely unprompted, and stating: "here is the cb-6000. Put it on. You're mine."

That's a specific example. As a more generalized idea, I do not believe that she's ever going to be driven to do anything kink related on her own. The only things she'll ever do will occur after being prompted by a discussion.

Now, we haven't fully fixed our issues that occurred in May. Only time will fix those. So, even after all of that, and after all we've been through these last couple of months, we are still not fully into a chastity lifestyle. We are practicing male chastity in a way because I'm not supposed to masturbate unless given permission, and not supposed to cum unless given permission. But even under those "rules" she makes me cum - and only every once in a while denies me because she wants.

Will she be receptive if I asked her to put me back into the device? I think she would say yes, absolutely. But therein lies the rub. I would have to ask. Then again, being put in because I ask is fine with me and it's a step in the right direction. In order to make it more pleasurable for her, though, I would suggest that she let me out every morning to take a shower, clean everything, and then be put back in for the day.

Sure, that would "ruin" some of the fun, but still, the device is more of a play thing anyway. I mean, if I really wanted to get out of the device, or do something to make myself cum while in the device, I could accomplish that.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

The Next Couple of Days

After she returned from her vacation, we were returning to our normal lives. Well, except for me, because I had the device on for days she was on vacation, and now for a couple of days when she returned.

I guess I should explain a little bit about how I was feeling during this time. I was feeling very good, both in my own situation and in my situation with her. It was difficult to not text her about us and steer the discussion about the chastity device. I wanted to talk about the situation 24/7 just because it was so much on my mind. Realizing that approach would not work, it was a struggle.

Given that, I was a little bummed that she did not bring up the situation very often. We briefly discussed, but that was mostly right after she returned. There was not any major discussion by her asking me about the device, how she felt about it, felt about me wearing it, or how I felt about wearing it.

I was being ridiculous in retrospect, though, because the one night was phenomenal! Sitting there on pins and needles waiting to see what happened the next was being selfish on my part.

Two funny things happened after that night. First, in my effort to talk about the device but also not go crazy talking about the device, I decided to text her something funny/innocuous. I ended up texting her, saying that having to sit to pee everytime was different and kind of a pain in the ass. Her response did not surprise me, it was typical of my wife, and I truly loved it. She texted back "Funny about you having to sit. Kinda like that. Means you think of me everytime." And that is one of the reasons I love her so much. Her response was 100% right - I did think of her everytime I had to sit. She also didn't send it in the "porn dom" way, she wasn't playing a script, or saying it because that's what she thought I wanted to hear. Her response was natural. It is who she is.

The episode happened while I was at work. The thing is that once we have those exchanges, she has me thinking about her all the time and I just want to keep texting with her. That would be a bad decision on my part, so I'm always having to hold back.

Anyway, by the time I got home I was all worked up. Shocking, I konw, but still. The second thing that was funny was we were just hanging out and she casually mentioned that she couldn't remember where she had left the keys to the device. Now, this was not said in the sexy, teasing, I'm screwing with you sort of way. This was said in the very typical way my wife loses things! She also didn't mean it in the "I'm pretending that you'll be locked forever" way because she knew were one of the keys were, just not what she did with the second one. That type of interaction is fun and part of what I had hoped would come out of utilizing the device. It also led me to believe that she was enjoying the situation.

Ultimately, that night I was finally let out. She didn't make any big fanfare about letting me out. She simply went and got the key and opened it up. It was fantastic from my point of view just watching her open it and take the device off.

The problem I had mentioned earlier was that despite trying to clean it every day in the shower, I wasn't ever able to get it completely cleaned because I couldn't touch it (of course), so when she took it off, she wasn't entirely happy with the state of cleanliness. I know that turned her off a bit. She did end up teasing me for a bit and then using her hands, brought me off. It was very very satisfying. Though as any man who is interested in chastity, I would be have been happier had she brought me just to the edge, then stopped, then put me back into the device!

After bringing me off, I did reciprocate and then immediately wondered whether she would put me into the cage.

She did not. And since that time, she has never mentioned using it again.

But, if you jump to a conclusion as to why it hasn't been used again, you'd be wrong because to this day, I don't fully know the answer to that question.

The reason being, very soon right after that night, there was a death in the family, we had weddings we had to go to, we both got sick, and then there was also the other issue with her that we had to resolve.

You can imagine that the death put stress into the dynamic that didn't put us in the mood. The weddings also added stress, being sick too. But even with those, our other issue was bigger, in my mind, because it dealt with "us." Sounds weird to say, but I'm not going to explain that specific issue, but will say it is something that we are both committed to working on together and it's getting fixed. (No, she didn't cheat on me, if that's what some have asked.) I've also said that it's not the type of thing that can be fixed immediately, so time will be necessary.

All of that doesn't get us up to the current date. There were some other things that happened that are blog worthy that are upcoming.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

When she got home from her trip

I appreciate all of the comments, encouragements and insight! As always, it is helpful to hear what others think/observe.

Remember - all of these events occurred back in May, so I already know the ultimate outcome of everything and I am not currently locked up and we've never used the device since that one time. That's the bummer part. But, I'm actually still optimistic about the future.

So, after the trip, I was definitely bummed that during the entire time she was gone on the trip, she never mentioned the device or anything related to that. Not even a question about how I was doing in it. I truly felt like it was the classic "ignore and denial" as opposed to "tease and denial."

But, by the time she was returning, the text exchanges occurred that were very nice. It was those text exchanges (that took all of about 1 minute to write) that I would have loved while she was gone. It's something I've tried to explain to her before - that the whole "tease & denial" thing or chastity in and of itself is not some hugely invasive, all encompassing, major endeavor. Instead, while in chastity, a couple little comments here and there would go a very very long way.

Anyway, the day she returned was a bust, but only because she was very tired, and we had a bunch of stuff to do with the kids and the house. By the time everything was done, we talked about her trip and caught up, but there was nothing sexual really going to happen. Of course, I was disappointed, but not really. I understood the situation.

Parenthetically, that same night we ended up talking about something that would end up being a major problem within our marriage. I'm being vague on purpose. Let's just say that night was the beginning of something that we've had to have major discussions since and we continue to struggle with it. It's the main reason I stopped blogging for a while, and it's definitely something that was a reason why any type of kink/chastity etc., went away.

But I digress. Back the situation at that time. The next night, we actually did talk about the device. She did say that while on the trip she had been thinking about me and specifically me in the device, it was just that she didn't feel comfortable texting around other people or something. Not entirely sure I believed her when she said that. Vulnerability breeds doubt, I think.

Anyway, we were happy to see each other and spend time together and things progressed nicely. We eventually started kissing and getting intimate. I felt different than before, because I was extremely curious to see where things would go. How would she react? Would she touch it? Would she even deal with it at all?

The questions were answered, because she eagerly went down there, rubbed, and licked, and played with it - which was unbelievable to me. Seriously. I never really thought she'd do that. Meaning, even if she accepted the whole concept because it was something I wanted to do, I never thought she'd be comfortable with "playing" with it. I never thought she'd embrace it being there.

Then, she blew my mind even further. While down there, she made comments like "you know what, I think I'll leave you in it longer." And after a while, she said "that's enough teasing for you. Maybe you'll get more tomorrow. Maybe not."

I could not believe it. It was phenomenal. I sort of went nuts on her. I went to town on her and brought her off on two incredible O's with my tongue! After that, I was so amped up, I blurted out that I'd love to give up all my orgasms if I could give her those kinds of orgasms and her response surprised me. She laughed and said "I'd gladly give up all your orgasms for those orgasms."

I was sky high. It was wonderful. Everything was going very well, and we had some great days immediately thereafter, but eventually, things fell apart.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Hiatus is Over - Chastity Worked!!!! (Sort of)

I missed writing. A million things happened from my last post to the ones that will follow.

Ultimately, the explanation for my absence is due to a) death in the family; b) two marriages in the family; c) work (of course) and d) some crazy good and crazy bad stuff with my wife.

Details of the events are worthy reading and will be forthcoming, but they will be only focused on the interactions between my wife and I.

Giving a shortcut of the results of everything that has happened from May to the present, we've gone from engaging in the use of a chastity device (YES!!! FINALLY!!!! She was much more receptive that I had ever imagined) to having marital problems and then to now. Now, we are both on the same ground, both committed to each other, both in love with each other..........but with residual issues that prevent me from proclaiming complete happiness in the marriage. That last sentence doesn't mean to imply that we are unhappy in the marriage, just that time will be required before we are back where we were before.

The following, then, has already happened. I'll try to describe the things that were going through my mind when they occurred, but the results and issues have already occurred. So, while reading, I guess the spoiler is that other than the first time, we have not used the device since. In that respect, it didn't work. On the other hand, as you'll read below, it did work.

I had been desiring to get to use a chastity device for a long time. The self imposed chastity was o.k., but it didn't bring an outward interest from her, which is often the case. (I actually agree with Susan's Pet, mostly, on the types of reactions women will have and my situation is a common one, I expect.)

I knew that if I explained what a chastity device was, or tried showing it to her on the internet, that would be a turn off for her. It's the weirdness of it that would bring out a natural aversion reaction. Therefore, I purchased a CB-6000 (got it cheap) and figured it would be a good starter/play piece. I never expected it to be a 24/7 thing.

I purchased it well in advance of her taking a girls trip out of town. My plan was to present it to her before she left, locking me in it while she was out of town. I'm sure that anyone who is actually interested in my blog understands the attractiveness, from the male point of view, of that situation.

Once it arrived, I actually wore it to work several days, without her knowledge. I figured I had better know what it feels like and if I could handle it before I presented it to her. This was done in stealth. She never knew. I'd put it on at work and then take it off before coming home.

This was an incredible turn on, even though I could remove it at any time. It definitely fueled the fantasy. It was very good thing that I used the device before presenting it to her, because it did take many different experiments with the spacers and ring to find the size that wasn't too restrictive that it hurt too badly, but also not loose enough where I could pull it out.

The erections were definetely painfull........but for me, it was a delicious pain. Loved feeling locked. I enjoyed having it locked away. My time in it by myself was such a turn on for me, that I couldn't wait to see if she would actually like it.

I kept wanting to show her or tell her, but kept chickening out. I've done kinky stuff with her before, but I really feared I was going way out on the ledge with this one. There were nights that I had promised myself to bring it up and the mood was not right, so I didn't.

Push came to shove, however, on the night before she left. It was "now or never." She was going to be gone for more than 4 days, so we did spend a lot of time together that night. Finally, as we were getting ready to go to bed, I took the plunge.

I told her that it was going to be a tough time with her gone, because I'd miss her, but also because usually when she left like that, I'd masturbate while she was gone. She immediately said "you can masturbate." In my own head, that was a bad thing and didn't "bode" well for my planned major step, because it indicated to me that she didn't embrace the "denial" idea.

Then I told her I bought something and her reaction was similar to previous things. She got sort of an incredulous "what the heck is he going to spring on me now?" look. She never gets upset, grossed out necessarily, or whatever, it's just that she has no idea what major, new, odd, interesting thing is going to happen. So when I told her I bought something, I'm sure she was thinking it was some sort of sex toy for me to use on her or something.

We went upstairs and I told her I wanted to wear a chastity device while she was gone and I showed it to her. She didn't understand it or embrace it. Even looking it, she had no idea what I was talking about. She was laughing (not in a mocking way) and still listening though, so that was a good thing! She was not freaked out, so I figured this was going much better than I had thought it would!

I ended up having to show her how it worked (not actually putting it on yet)and telling her what it was and what it would do, and what I couldn't do with it on. Again, she kept just shaking her head, but in a good way. She took it remarkably well - which was a positive sign to me that she's getting very comfortable with the craziness I embrace. That old saying "It's only kinky the first time" really is true. The more you talk, the more you, the more normal it becomes.

As I was trying to explain the idea of what it did, she did say the normal reaction things like "does it hurt", "I'd never want anything like that on me," "I can't believe you'd want that," and "I have no idea why you'd want that." These didn't bother me, because I never envisioned or thought she'd immediately understand and grasp the concept immediately. She never did show revulsion to me and was even funny, because she apologized to my penis, saying that she "wasn't doing this to you" etc.

When I was explaining stuff to her, and gave her key, she would say things like "what happens if they see this little key, am I supposed to tell them its because my husbands cock is locked up" which immediately sent my cock straigt up. I didn't have it on yet, and kept telling her to stop saying stuff like that. She was laughing at this situation, finding it amusing.

I know this sounds odd, but while she was very accepting, not grossed out, and was laughing about it, I could also tell that she didn't really understand it and she was definitely not turned on about it. And by that, I mean she wasn't excited about it from her point of view.

I did put it on and she spent time checking it out. We engaged in other playful banter and that that night she did play with it a little, with me in it, but nothing special. No verbal statements about it, no further discussion about it and nothing special. I did end up bringing her off (when I was in the device), and that was a more turn on for me. I was straining it, big time, and it was tight tight tight. It was super hot for me.

But, afterward, she went to sleep and she didn't even mention anything about it. That's what made me think that she wasn't really that turned on by the situation.

She left the next morning, not mentioning it, and never mentioned it the entire weekend. We communicated a lot over the weekend, texts here and there, about stuff she was doing, I was doing, other stuff. It was very fun. But.....she never mentioned it once.

It was a long time she was gone. I didn't want to be the one to bring it up, instead waiting for her. It was disappointing that it was never mentioned.

For my own response to being in it for that long of time - it was great. I enjoyed it. It also hurt and I couldn't clean it well. No matter what I did to clean it with soap and water in the shower, I couldn't scrub everything in there, and then I couldn't dry it, so I could tell it wasn't getting clean. As a 24/7 thing, I knew it would never work. I would have to be let out each morning to clean/dry, then put back in for the rest of the day.

It also hurt around the skin around the testicles. It didn't hurt otherwise, but sitting down, there was as stretching/rubbing that was not good. I could sit certain ways to lessen that, which I did and helped. As a sexual turn-on, however, it was off the charts great. I loved it.

On the day she was coming home, but while she was still there, she did text "Are you ready for 'freedom' tonight. :)" It was the first mention and I immediately got hard. I couldn't figure out what to text in response. I didn't want to go overly excited, but wanted to convey to her that the text was something I craved and hoped she liked. I ended up responding "I'd love freedom. I'd love you doing whatever you want to do. But I'd also love you teasing and denying me - making me stay in longer. Thanks for the text too. Had an immediate 'impact' on me. :)"

Sadly, she never responded that text!

I'll update what happened when she got home later.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Responses to the Great Comments on the "Expanding on Susan's Pet's Tease & Deny Post"

First off, thanks to all that took the time to comment. I do appreciate your insights and thoughts.

Rene - I understand what you're saying, and I agree that most people are like that. There are many examples where you'll read about the submissive man trying to get the wife to be "dominant" and it doesn't go anywhere because she either is not interested or just does whatever the submissive guy says. Yes, those fail. The intereseting part of that equation that never gets discussed, however, is why it fails.

My thoughts were just that when your life partner comes to you with a desire, shouldn't you be very interested in that? Wouldn't you want to know all about how she feels about it? What turns her on? What her thoughts are? I think that is (or should) be true for any couple.

That's not just limited to anything sexual. It applies to anything about that person. Whatever she's going through, whether it's with work, the kids, life philosophy, I'm supremely interested in discussing that with her because she (and the kids) are the most important people in my life!! I don't necessarily care what my friends wife's thoughts are, just my wife's!

You're right that you can't feel dominated if she refuses to do it. And you're right that if it's too far out of her original personality structure, it'll never work. That's not to mean that previously vanilla wives wouldn't actually enjoy it. So definitely go ahead and ask!

Susan's Pet - A marriage (especially when there are kids involved) is so much deeper than sexual relations, though it is an important aspect. Trying to manage intimate relations, along with life, and then adding "kink" at the urging of one party over the other, does make for a "return to normal" so to speak.

I know that I'm much kinkier than my wife. I know that if I never brought it up to her, we we would never be where we are today. But when I made the decision to try to incorporate this to her, well, it's been a long journey! She was o.k. with the idea, but it took more and more discussions and proding to get anything going. Fast forward a long time and it has gotten to the point where she knows how I feel, accepts it, understands where I'm coming from and, most importantly, now makes the effort to be much more engaging. (A full post on that is coming up.) It's taken a long time to get to that point, but suffice it to say that now, she does things on her own, is much more accepting and receptive of things, and very willing to participate.

I'm Hers - My thing has always been "we are married and in love first" and unless that is a really strong and happy relationship, kink cannot survive. I think that part of our success is that everything comes from a strong relationship and being in love and then we add the kink as a compliment to our life.

AAT - Couldn't agree more. You write: "The only way that this type of relationship is going to work realistically is if the couple can find ways to please and satisfy each others needs and desires, that are both realistic and acceptable to each other." Absolutely!!! And it's something we have actively worked on. The mistake many people make is that they want to incorporate every kink and aspect over night. They want to go from a completley kinkless/vanilla life, to her all of a suddent denying him, putting him in a chastity belt, humiliating in him in public, etc. It has to be a slow transition. The saying "It's only kinky the first time" is funny, but also true. Trying to incorporate one little change first, waiting for that to become the norm, and then doing the next, waiting, then the next and so on is much more effective.

From reading your blog, Jane has certainly changed and evolved from the beginning. It's taken a long time to get where you are, and it's still evolving. That is the same journey I am on with my wife. We are in a different place today than we were two years ago. Do I want us to keep going, having her become more dominant and more in control? Yes. Do I all of a sudden, tomorrow, present her with a contract, listing all the duties and responsibilities I'd do, punishments, etc? No, becuase it's too much change. Maybe years in the future when everything is still going along nicely.

As for the other portion of your comment - I'm not entirely sure that the "wife needs to feel loved" and the "submissive wants to feel controlled, even dominated" are necessarily mutually exclusive. But then again, the devil is in the details, because I can easily see situations in which you are correct.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Sorry for the Delay

Many people in the blogger world that I respect and regularly read their blogs made comments that were interesting, insightful and much appreciated. I will get back to those soon.

One reason for the delay was that sadly, for a while, not everything was "wonderful" on our end. We ended up having a major fight about something completely unrelated to any sexual stuff, but it did make me (and us) more focused on resolving those issues - so everything else kind of went on the back burner. That is life sometimes.

The good thing is that we have talked a lot lately and resolved the things and all is good. It was always going to be good, but we just needed the discussion and for time to take its course.

The other good thing is that during those dicussions, we briefly delved into the orgasm control we are doing. I'm happy to report that she is definitely still on board, is enjoying it, and wanting to keep doing it. That, of course, was a very good thing.

I know that for myself, despite receiving warnings about this, I find it extremely difficult to tamper my desire for full blown entry into the chastity lifestyle by her. I end up thinking about it a lot, much more than she could ever come close to doing. That is part of our personality differences too. I am the type (which is very good for what I do for a living), to completely focus on one thing for a long period of time.

Anyway, despite my knowledge and understanding that she wasn't going to all of a sudden start teasing and denying me on a daily basis, start tying me up, doing research and purchasing chastity devices and the like, I was still hoping for "more." I did want more interaction between us - even if it was just a text here or there. She is on board with the chastity concept.......though there are still "tease" and "denial" things that I would like more of than she has given in the past. But we're working on that explanation of how I feel and then also what she actually wants and enjoys.

Our discussion did center around whether she was truly enjoying the new dynamic and, like I said, she confirmed she did. She admitted that she wanted to spend more time together, but that life gets in the way.

We were both pleased with the understanding. And based on that, with her going away for the weekend (with her girlfriends) coming up, I decided to buy a CB-6000 and am considering approaching her with me using it while she's gone. Our discussion leads me to believe that she would open to the idea. It's something that wouldn't add any additional "burden" so to speak on her.

We shall see.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Expanding on Susan's Pet's Tease & Deny Post

Before reading my post, please do yourself a favor and read Susan's Pet's post on Tease & Denial. Not only is it a good article, but what I will provide in this post dovetails off of that post.

While I agree with most of that article, I did want to expand on a concept I've been kicking around for while, and it's one he sort of brings up.

In generally stating that unless the wife, after being introduced to the concept of tease and denial actually gets off on it, the wife will generally not participate. Some will not participate at all, while others will engage in it, at best, sporadically. Quoting from Susan's Pet: "One might say that even in a vanilla relationship a woman will do things for her partner simply because she loves him and knows that he needs it. Yes she will do that sometimes, but not often enough."

And that concept is something that has always confused me. And maybe it confuses me because I want to please my partner, but are people really that selfish that they can't derive pleasure from giving their life partner what they want?

I love performing cunnilingus. Why? I would imagine that the fact she really enjoys it is why I enjoy it so much. (Or maybe that's circular thinking? Does she enjoy it that much because I'm good at it and I enjoy doing it?)

Anyway, my point is, I like to make my wife happy. Many people reading this may say "well, that's because you're submissive", but my response then is: "are you telling me that vanilla couples don't want to make each other happy?" That's my source of confusion. How is it that people get married, but know that their significant other loves thing "X", but they don't do it or give "X" to their significant other?!?!?! I don't get it. I truly don't understand that concept.

It has always made me laugh whenever I read articles in the newspaper, see headlines in relationship sites, or Cosmo or something about women bitching that their men are not "romantic". These women clearly love the full blown romance thing, yet the slug they married doesn't ever do anything like that for them. I'm always flabbergasted that the guy has a girl who so desires something, but the guy won't ever do it.

Just seems to me that people who are married should be in love to the point where doing things for your significant other is what makes you happy! Ever since we've been married, I've done things for her that I only did because I knew she liked it.

And even habits that I had that she did not like I changed. That's been a two way street. For whatever reason, dishes in the sink overnight flipped her out. I was generally the type who left them till I felt like doing them. Well, after marriage and I found out how much she hated it, I changed my behavior to wash the dishes as they were used. Conversely, I hated caps left off toothpaste. She never put it back on. She changed her behavior.

Those are kind of silly examples, but as I partially responded to Susan's Pet post on his site, if my wife came to me and said "you know, doing full body massages really really turns me on", well, I'd go out and buy a professional massage table, take a class and go off on her.

This is not absolute. Everyone has "limits." If she came to me and wanted to do scat, or adult baby stuff, I could never get into it. However, the list is rather small.

Regardless, even things that I don't particularly have a desire for, my point is simply that if I knew she had a strong desire for them, I would then have a strong desire for it because I knew how much she liked it.

Please don't take this post to mean that I'm believing that every person should do things for any random person. I can't stand "high maintenance" girls, so it's not like I could love dealing and engaging in those antics. But then again, I would have never married a high maintenance girl.

My point is that if you marry someone, isn't that person you're married to the person you want to make happy? From what I see and read, however, is that I am not the norm. Most people are not like that. Most people are completely unwilling to engage in something that they do not personally like for the benefit of the significant other and, even if they are, they don't particularly end up enjoying it. A guy may realize his wife wants the big romance thing, so he'll do it for her, but he doesn't enjoy doing it. I don't understand that thinking.


Just curious about others on this post.

Whenever I get stressed (work, family, whatever), I find that I desire kink more and more. Playing pop psychologist, I would assume it's an escape mechanism. Something to get my mind off the stres. Not sure. I just know that when I get seriously stressed at work, I desire nothing more than to come home to a wife who would be as cruel as possible.

Normally, I'm up for any type of interaction with my wife when I get home. If she's in the mood for romance, cuddling, whatever, I'm all for it. Even when I'm stressed, that's true. And, I normally would welcome any type of kink she was interested in.

It's just that when I'm stressed, my desire for the more "extreme" forms of chastity or WLM or femdom come out.

I don't believe my wife shares that same reaction. I think she's just the opposite. If she's happy, kids were great, she's making lots of money etc., she's much friskier.

I wonder what other people's experience is.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Sadly, nothing new to report

I wish that I could be posting about something new and interesting related to our situation, but right now, there's just nothing "post worthy." Sure, we've been having some fun, but new or advancing the ball.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

They're out there

There is a lot of talk in the Internet Male Chastity community, or WLM/FLR community, about convincing a vanilla wife to participate and that this is usually a failing endeavor.

I make no prediction on whether that is true, or not. Why? Because it's impossible to know, because I do not personally know anyone else who engages in this type of lifestyle. Sure, there are people on the Internet that I read their blogs and sometimes communicate with. But I have never sat down and actually discussed any of this in a face to face conversation. Heck, there's even a very strong section of people who believe that Elise Sutton, one of the very first Internet presence on the Internet to discuss WLM/FLR isn't even a really woman.

Here's the thing - if you were to ask every person that I actually know if they thought I would be involved in Male Chastity, WLM/FLR or anything like that, they'd immediately say no. I'm sure that there are friends of mine who engage in a lifestyle that I have no idea about.

Does that mean it's more common than reported or whatever. Again, I have no idea.

I will say, that when I see pictures like this, it's obvious that there are some real people out there who engage in this behavior and have fun with it.

(Note - this is NOT me or my wife. Pic found on the Internet.)

Now, I personally never ever expect for my wife to ever get anywhere near what I would wish she would get to. I just hope to enjoy whatever steps she does take towards where I hope we go.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Couldn't agree more.

Click on the link to check out this photo and the comment written by the owner of the tumblr.

Really - the title of my post says it all: I couldn't agree more with Mr. Clove Harwood here.

(if my computer skills failed, cut and paste from this:

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Hot - but not

Confusing, conflicting, wonderful and hot. All adjectives that surround what's going on. It's been a roller coaster.

For about 2 weeks (about), we went through a patch were she totally ignored me. And I mean ignored me in the normal relationship way - not the ignored me about my orgasms. Yes, during this 2 week period we didn't have sex at all. And I mean, she didn't receive any sex either. But that's not even what I was referring to about ignoring. It was that she seemed to want nothing to do with me. Not hang out. Not talk. Nothing. I never received a good answer as to what was going on.

Then, just as quickly as that happened, she seemed to turn a corner. All of a sudden, when driving with the kids, instead of checking her phone, she would talk with me. When we were at a party, she'd actually talk to me. Even dance with me.

At the same time, the sex started to heat up. Not surprising that the two coincided, but still a mystery to me as to the 2 week problem.

Now, there have been minor elements of teasing here and there. No outright denial recently. That has happened in the past, so I know she still enjoys it. There has been a change, though. The last two times, she has initiated it, which is more than she did before. One time, she just sat down next to me and then started to slowly and lightly graze my crotch till I was raging. She did this for a long long time. I definitely had to bring her off with my tongue because I think she still doesn't understand that if I go long periods of time without release, and then she plays with me, bringing me to the edge, there is no way I can "restart" and last long!

The last time, which was earlier this week, I was upstairs watching tv in bed. She climbed in and immediately grabbed me. I took the opening to ravish her, spending a lot of time kissing. She was laying on top of me and I pulled her pants/underwear off. I grabbed her ass and brought her up to my face. She rode my face and was grinding until I could sense when she was about to come. Right before she came, she pulled off, but still straddling me! I was kinda surprised, and actually thought I accidentally hurt her or she got a cramp or something, so I asked if everything was o.k. She responded "yea, I just want it to last longer." After a while she lowered herself back on me and I continued licking, sucking, nibbling. She pulled herself off twice more before she let herself come. It was phenomenal.

She wasn't done, though, as after a little rest, she lowered herself onto me. Again, I had to tell her I couldn't last long at all. Sure enough, I came wayyyyyy before she did, but she didn't care. She kept riding till she was done and satisfied.

Now that was a blast.

Monday, March 7, 2011


This is not related to my relationship with my wife, but it is an interesting topic nonetheless.

This is the first time this has ever happened - I recently came across some photos of a woman using a strap-on on a man, and I'm 99.9% positive that the woman is a woman I know from work. She's not at my place of work, but I know her, and we do have the occasion to see each other at work related events.

Now, the photos I saw too are not amateur photos. These are clearly professionally done. I would have thought that if I ever recognized a photo in this situation, it would have been of the amateur variety, not the professional!

The interesting part is that I do not know her well enough to ever engage in any type of conversation that would revolve around sex, let alone talk to her about her professional pornography past!

I have no idea how she would react about that sort of thing. Would she be embarrassed, mortified, or proud? The thing is, I do not think any less of her - in fact, if anything, I'm more impressed by her. I admire her more.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Wow, wow, wow

I usually don't post graphic pics. Not really my style. But this one? Great googly moogly! Words escape.

Taken from this website:

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Key Picture

Or should I say "keys picture."

Of course, if yours happened to be in there, I'll bet you could find it in a manner of seconds!

(Sadly, this is not something my wife had done! I wish. The picture was taken from:

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Moving slowly

We've been having some fun lately, and I'm definitely happier doing this than not doing it, but it is difficult to not keep craving more and more.

I still am the one to initiate sexual contact. She hardly ever does. She's receptive when I do, so that's all good, but having her initiate it would be important to me, because it does signal that she wants it.

On the other hand, when I do intiate it, she had begun to wrap her head around the denial portion. There have been two recent times in which after lengthy foreplay, I brought her off and there was no reciprocation. Of course, greedy person as I am in this arena, I secrety wished for the tease portion too. Or, at least, a verbal teasing about how she wasn't going to let me cum.

Another time, when in bed watching tv, right before she fell asleep, she did very gently start to stroke me, outside of my underwear, and got me seriously raging. I wasn't on the actual edge, but was getting damn close. She eventually gave me a little pat and then kissed me good night. She was asleep in a couple of minutes. I loved that, and made sure to tell her how much I loved it the next day.

Still, since there isn't an increased verbalization from her, or an increased initiation of intimacy (other than the one time), I do wonder if she's enjoying this, or feels as if she's being forced to do it by me. I hope that she's enjoying it, because it would be completely unfair if she was doing this only for me, instead of for us.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Chastity Feelings

This post is sort of all over the place, but bear with me.

I am not in a device. I am, I guess, on the "honor" system. When we started, she was agreed to be in charge of all orgasms and that I wouldn't masturbate. She hasn't asked me whether I've ever had any unauthorized orgasms or anything. (The fact that she hasn't asked is a topic for a different post.) But, anyway, I've kept my word and not had any unauthorized orgasms.

I would have thought that I would be hornier and hornier as the day went past, but I find that's not technically correct. What I've found is that I have no problem with chastity when we do not engage in any intimate behavior. Intimate behavior is not equal to sex. I simply mean any verbal or physical contact that is "fun." If the only communication I get from her in a day is about "stuff that is going on" - i.e., "have to take the kids to xyz", or "I had to deal with that guy from accounting ....", then I have no problem being in chastity. I don't get overly excited.

On the other hand, when we do engage in anything, even the simpliest things, it's all I can think about. I could be sitting on the couch and she just casually puts her foot on my thigh and then, well, all bets are off. I can barely contain myself. But if she never puts the foot there, I can focus on TV or whatever else I'm doing/reading.

So, now, with that backstory, here is another backstory. My wife wears thongs. In fact, she doesn't own any other type of underwear. Thongs all the time. I, of course, love that about her. Admittedly, though, when you see her every day in a thong, it does lose some of it's "bite", so to speak. When I see her in that thong, since I've seen it for the very many years we've been married, it doesn't carry the same weight as I was describing above. She also sleeps in thongs, with usually nothing else on the bottom. When we go to bed, it's not that big of a deal.

But.......a couple of nights ago, we played, she had a great orgasm and I was denied. I struggled through that night (happily struggled, mind you. I thoroughly enjoyed such "struggling.")

Last night, though, we went to bed and I knew she would not want to fool around. I was still charged from the night before and she had just taken a shower and shaved. She was smelling, looking and feeling great. Her mood was not playful, so we simply slept.

My horniness did not subside. By the time I woke up at about 5:00, I already had a raging erection. I rolled over to her, spooning her, pressing my erection against back side, and placing my hands on her bare legs. She felt so smooth and warm. She was still sleeping, of course, but I stayed in that position, savoring the feel.

She stirred a couple of times, and I could tell that despite being asleep, she was now aware of my very close presence. After a while, she got up to go to the bathroom and then came back to bed. When she got back in, we spooned again and I knew that she knew what state I was in. It was clear that she just wanted to sleep, so I contented myself with being close to her.

Oddly, or maybe not, but I really wanted to just roll over on her, rip the thong off and make love to her, but knew that even if I did that, it would be extremely unsatisfying for her because I would last less than a minute, given state.

Eventually, I needed to get up and take a shower, but instead of slowly and quietly slipping out of bed like I usually do, I did lean on top of her and kiss her cheek several times, giving her a little hug.

Her response? Amusingly annoyed, she simply said "Go back to sleep!" I informed I was just actually getting up and wanted to kiss her. And with that, I took my shower.

But, her response - well, that was awsome. I loved that response. It encapsulated a lot. It told me she knew what I was doing, what I was feeling, she wanted to sleep, and that she enjoyed the moment.

I do love my wife.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A fantasy of mine

As part of the orgasm control, and control in general, this photo (among the others I've previously posted), definitely hits a nerve for me.

As I imagine it, she teases me throughout the day, telling me that maybe tonight we'll play. When the times comes, she says I'm due for a little penetrative sex. With a wicked smile, she pulls this out and, of course, brings me to the edge, but refuses to let me come.

Monday, February 7, 2011


Too many for my liking! But she wants it, she's in control, so she gets what she wants.

What we haven't had, however, is more frequent events. Part of that was due to a visit from the monthly visitor. The other half is how busy we are. And channeling my best Yogi Berra, the other half is her not embracing the control as much I would have hoped or thought. Still, we are young in the game and we'll see where it goes.

Thursday, January 20, 2011


That's the number of times since the beginning of the year. Which is actually more than I thought would occur.

One time, though, was when she wanted intercourse. I've mentioned before that she much prefers the real thing rather than toys. While she can enjoy a dildo or vibrator, she prefers the real thing more. It's something I did think about before this started.

When I am in orgasm denial, I don't last very long. There is just no way we can have intercourse with me not having an orgasm.

Not that I'm disappointed or anything. This is more orgasm control than chastity. It's whenever she wants it, not me.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Love This, but.....

Found this on the internet. (It is not mine.) Whoever created this for the person coming home came up with a great idea. But, it's "you're under attack", not "your under attack!!" Come on people!