Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Does it Matter if She's More Interested?

Some recent events have me wondering more and more whether my journey is actually complete? Meaning, I'm beginning to think that we already live in a WLM and that the efforts on my part to get certain things are very much my own issues/problems and not hers.

I would like acknowledgement from her, I would like more direct commands, I would like more demands for service, I would like domestic discipline, I would like more tease & denial, I would like enforced chastity, I, I, I, I!!!!!! Those are all very clearly things I want - and not necessarily things she wants. In fact, she does some of those things. She does them, however, when she wants. She does them if I suggest them, but there have been times when she's done some of them on her own. Who am I to push to her to do them more? Shouldn't it be that she will do them when she wants?

I had two recent epiphanies. First, the entire family was out at the park and there was another family we are good friends with there. The other family was going out to dinner and my oldest son started asking me if we could go out to dinner. I did not commit, saying that we'd talk to his mother. Some time passed and it wasn't brought up again, but then he started saying that we were going to dinner. He had apparently asked his mom, who said yes, without ever consulting me. My son, then, started to say how mom was in charge, so we were going to dinner. She told him to stop it, to stop saying that, and saying that she would talk to me. But can anyone guess what happened? The fact of that matter is that he knows I'll check in with her, but she won't necessarily check in with me.

The second epiphany was that I was walking by the refrigerator and noticed that my wife had put a list of "things to fix" in the house. They included major projects like a repair that an actual contractor would do (not something I can do), but the remaining projects were all things that I could actually do. She never told me she was making the list. She never asked me to do anything on the list. Yet, after seeing it, I started to do the things on the list.

She, of course, noticed that I had some of them and thanked me for doing them. Again, she never asked for them to be done. She never demanded them to be done. I actually believe that when she wrote them and placed them on the refrigerator she never intended for me to just start doing them. That's not really her style. She put them there as a reminder to herself to get me to do them eventually.

Those two events - and the fact that she thanks me for doing all of these things, including things like last night thanking me for cleaning the counter and the bathroom etc., just really hit me that she is already living her version of a WLM.

It does seem to me that she has become more and more interested in some of the things like tease and denial and chastity and other things and I clearly hope that will continue and increase. The more I think about it, though, the more I realize that I am happier than I thought. I am happier because she is happy and where she wants to be.

The journey continues, but I'm much less stressed. And eagerly awaiting to complete the remaining tasks on the refrigerator.


Anonymous said...

I am glad you are accepting her version of a WLM relationship. Good luck.


Anonymous said...

I am guessing that much like me, and most other would be submissive men, what you seek above all else is to feel that your wife is enjoying her dominant role and actively encouraging your submission by using her feminine and sexual charm. I am also guessing that most, if not all submissive husbands, would also accept and even appreciate a much less formal WLM, if only there wives acknowledged their dominance and use it to expect and even demand, a certain degree of subservient behaviour from their husband.

This has to be all about feeling or sensing that your wife has taken control and is using her knowledge of your wish and enjoyment to submit to her, for her enjoyment and pleasure, in whatever form that may be.

It sounds as though you have reached a point in your developing WLM where you have realised that your wife is going to do it at her pace and in her way. Most men defer to their wives on a regular basis is vanilla marriages, so the degree to which you can be satisfied with your own WLM is a very personal feeling. The sooner men realise and just accept this the better.

I'm-Hers said...

Just to add on the above comment.... I really do believe that successful WLM, FLR can only work if there is a love relationship foundation. I can't imagine a marriage in trouble having a D/s component. It seems that your marriage is healthy and although your wife is 'gentle' and subtle in how she leads, she indeed does lead but just not in the way, and maybe not to the level of consistency that you would hope in the days to come. But in time, maybe she will. Enjoy what you have with her.

vs-boy said...

I think this is a matter of reality vs expectations. I would also love to have more "things" done to me and at times the wait for some progress seems eternal.

One thing we have to remember is that a significant portion of the stories we read online are fake and the rest are abridged in such a way that we fail to notice how much time it really took for the relationship to evolve.

I encourage you to enjoy whatever its given and demonstrate your gratitude in as many ways as you can.

Oh, and my 13-year old boy said once that I was "Mom's disciple" because I wouldn;t let him do something he wanted to do without checking with his mother first.

Anonymous said...

i'm glad to hear things are just going...smoothly for you. :) More chores, more fun... just Her being happier. :) And you, too. Good for all!

Anonymous said...

Your wife seems to act so much similar to my wife! I believe that if it's the man who brings the idea of a WLR he must find its kink by focusing on servicing and pleasing the wife. It is his fantasies that may jeopardize the lifestyle. But like most men I guess I have to constantly be aware of that fact. Thanks for sharing moving thoughts.