Some recent events have me wondering more and more whether my journey is actually complete? Meaning, I'm beginning to think that we already live in a WLM and that the efforts on my part to get certain things are very much my own issues/problems and not hers.
I would like acknowledgement from her, I would like more direct commands, I would like more demands for service, I would like domestic discipline, I would like more tease & denial, I would like enforced chastity, I, I, I, I!!!!!! Those are all very clearly things I want - and not necessarily things she wants. In fact, she does some of those things. She does them, however, when she wants. She does them if I suggest them, but there have been times when she's done some of them on her own. Who am I to push to her to do them more? Shouldn't it be that she will do them when she wants?
I had two recent epiphanies. First, the entire family was out at the park and there was another family we are good friends with there. The other family was going out to dinner and my oldest son started asking me if we could go out to dinner. I did not commit, saying that we'd talk to his mother. Some time passed and it wasn't brought up again, but then he started saying that we were going to dinner. He had apparently asked his mom, who said yes, without ever consulting me. My son, then, started to say how mom was in charge, so we were going to dinner. She told him to stop it, to stop saying that, and saying that she would talk to me. But can anyone guess what happened? The fact of that matter is that he knows I'll check in with her, but she won't necessarily check in with me.
The second epiphany was that I was walking by the refrigerator and noticed that my wife had put a list of "things to fix" in the house. They included major projects like a repair that an actual contractor would do (not something I can do), but the remaining projects were all things that I could actually do. She never told me she was making the list. She never asked me to do anything on the list. Yet, after seeing it, I started to do the things on the list.
She, of course, noticed that I had some of them and thanked me for doing them. Again, she never asked for them to be done. She never demanded them to be done. I actually believe that when she wrote them and placed them on the refrigerator she never intended for me to just start doing them. That's not really her style. She put them there as a reminder to herself to get me to do them eventually.
Those two events - and the fact that she thanks me for doing all of these things, including things like last night thanking me for cleaning the counter and the bathroom etc., just really hit me that she is already living her version of a WLM.
It does seem to me that she has become more and more interested in some of the things like tease and denial and chastity and other things and I clearly hope that will continue and increase. The more I think about it, though, the more I realize that I am happier than I thought. I am happier because she is happy and where she wants to be.
The journey continues, but I'm much less stressed. And eagerly awaiting to complete the remaining tasks on the refrigerator.