Friday, October 30, 2009

Continuation of Tuesday Night

After getting the wine for her, and I was rather charged up at that point, she suggested we go upstairs and watch tv in bed together.

Our time there was 99% normal, but she was still exerting her dominance in small ways. She complained that her feet were cold, presented them to me and said "make my feet warm." She told me to get her another glass of wine. We watched what she wanted to watch.

Hey, I realize that compared to many other people out there, this is extremely mild stuff. Honestly, my desires run much stronger and deeper than what she's doing. The most important thing to me, however, is that she's agreed to do it after I proposed it to her, and she has been changing and embracing the idea. I mean, for someone who isn't naturally Dominate or does not even trend that way, they won't become a Dom at the drop of a hat. Most of us who are Subs have had these feelings for a very long time - as early as a little kid to the early teen years. I know that my wife has not had Dom feelings at all. So I've been thinking about being a sub for more than 20 years, while she has not. My point is only that any change towards being a Dom is a very good thing.

Anyway, I was still on edge a little, though, because I still didn't know whether she had even received the long email. I sorta suspected that she had, partly due to the change in her demeanor, but was still not sure. Eventually, she sorta blurted out "by the way, I did receive the long email today. I was with a client, so I was like "ahhhh" when I got it, but I did read it." She explained that she was happy with the way things were going, but that she wasn't an "every night type girl." I wasn't sure what that last comment meant, especially since she had been more dominant that night. I did think that she wasn't going to "play" every night, meaning that she wasn't going to do sexual things every night.

Once it was time for bed, she told me to get her toothbrush and other bedtime routine stuff ready for her. She got into bed and then went to sleep rather quickly. Again, I was a little disappointed, but not at all surprised.

And then, things got interesting. She was restless that night, squirming around, but still asleep. At about 1:00 a.m., she got out of bed, and actually growled! She said, "You're making me too warm!!" and got some water. I thought it was rather funny as she wasn't really mad at me, but apparently I had been snuggling her so much at night that I was, well, making her too warm.

Upon getting back into bed, I rolled on top of her, kissed her and apologized for making her too warm. She thought that was funny and began kissing me back. She sleeps in nothing but a thong, so my instant steel hard erection was pressing right into her panties. She started kissing back aggressively and then rolled me over, so I was on my back and she was straddling me.

Grabbing my hands over my head, she continued kissing me and grinding herself on my cock. For those of you have ever practiced chastity, you have to realize that the term "premature ejaculation" no longer applies. Why? Because, essentially, you're so f'ing horny all day long, for very long periods of time, that stimulation of any sustained time can put you over the edge! (Or maybe that's just me!)

She whipped off her panties, grabbed my hands over me head again, and then slid right up to my face. No words were spoken, but obviously, no words were necessary. Her pussy was so wet and sweet and her clit already engorged. I went to town on her. She was really grinding herself on my face that I could only breath through my nose at certain times! I would make sure to take huge breaths whenever I got the chance.

She had an orgasm really quickly, but stayed on. Most of the time, once she has an orgasm, she likes to relax for at least a minute before starting again. This time, though, after the first orgasm, she kept grinding, but at a slower more leisurely pace. That didn't last too long, as she gradually got more and more intense and had another strong orgasm.

Eating her out like that, being this long into chastity, etc., well, I'm literally felt like I was going to cum with absolutely no touching of my cock. While eating her out, it definitely felt like I was going to cum, and then after she was done cumming twice and resting on my chest, the whole scene made me more and more aroused that the feeling of cumming was stronger at that point. That surprised me. I was breathing very heavily and actually concentrating on not cumming. I could not believe it.

She lay back down, and I crawled back on top of her, kissing her again. She reached for my cock, but I told her that any touching would send me off. She laughed. She thanked me and said it was time to go to sleep. She was asleep in about 2 minutes. Me? I stayed awake for about another hour, and then did not sleep well for the rest of the night.

When people ask why someone would want Tease & Denial, or Femdom, all I can say is that if you re-read this post, and other post about Tuesday, if you can't see it, then you won't ever see it. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but wow. I am writing this on Friday, and I'm still getting extremely hard just re-playing the whole thing in my mind again.

A wonderful journey indeed!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Tuesday Night

This is going to be a long post because so much happened Tuesday night, so hang on.

On Tuesday during the day, I sent my wife a rather long email, trying to accomplish several things. I wanted to convey how much I appreciated her openness to this type of change/dynamic in our relationship. I tried to explain to her a little more what I get out of her being in control. But, more importantly, I wanted to ask her how she was feeling and if she was enjoying it.

It's a fine line, but I wanted to know if she was doing all of this just for me, or if she was truly enjoying being the Dom. I think that when it's the guy who approaches the woman with the idea of a Femdom relationship, or at least a Femdom relationship in the bedroom, there is always a danger of the woman engaging in that behavior only for the guy. Meaning, because she loves the guy and wants to make him happy, she engages in the event. But she's doing it predominately for the guy, not for her own unique enjoyment! My email tried to ask this delicate question.

I was curious about this because she knows that I have strong Cross-Dressing desires and she does not necessarily enjoy it. At least, she hasn't in the past. She doesn't mind it in small doses, but when it gets too much, she does not like it. Since she recently required me to wear panties to bed, to wear the Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer and shave, I began to wonder whether she was making me do these things only because she knew I'd like them, not necessarily because she liked them. I explained I did not want this to turn into a situation where I was driving everything and she just tolerated our play.

I had actually hesitated to sending the email in the first place because she has made it very clear that our situation would not be a 24/7 relationship. She made it clear that it would not impact our day to day lives, that she'd do it when she wanted to, that it would not be every night etc. I did not want to make it seem as if I was pressing the issue and making our relationship all about this.

So, I sent that email and then............I received no reply. I sent it early in the day, and was waiting to get some kind of reply, whether good or bad. Now I was really worried, because I figured I blew it. I thought that she was pissed. We actually conversed via email about some other things after I had sent my long email, and there wasn't one mention of the long email. Then I began to worry that I had accidentally sent it to someone else! Needless to say, I was kind of a wreck on the way home.

When I got home, though, she was in a good mood. Cherry, in fact. She had a meeting to go to, so she starting telling me about what homework the kids had to do, what they ate for dinner, things about the pet, her day etc. I was relieved because I didn't think she was mad about the email, but then I actually started to think that I had sent the email to someone else!

We were talking in the kitchen about all of this stuff and then her face lit up and said "Oh, and thank you soooo much for emptying the dishwasher and doing the other dishes last night. I woke up this morning dreading doing that and I was so happy to see it done so I could enjoy my coffee." I sheepishly smiled, beaming inside, and she came over, grabbed my head in her hands and gave me a big kiss. With that, she said she had to go and left.

That exchange left me feeling great about myself and us, but still wondering whether she had received my email and what she thought about it! I still didn't know. She was gone for two hours. In that time, I cleaned up much more of the house, finished homework with the kids, and got them all in bed. I spent the remainder of the time trying to fix the computer.

It was about 9:00 when she got home and I had just started watching the 25 Most Sexiest Sci-Fi Women (Wonder Woman was #1 - a good choice I'd say.) When she came home, one of the kids woke up, so she went straight to the kids room. By the time I got there, she was already done, and going to the bathroom. While in the bathroom, she looked over at me, gave me a smile and said "I need a glass of wine, please."

I said "yes" to her and went to get her wine. That statement from her made me very happy. It led me to believe that she embracing, wanting and becoming Dominate. It was the words she chose and the way she said it that made my heart skip. It was her, not some way she thought a Dom would act. She wasn't "Role Playing" at being a Dominatrix. She wasn't pretending. She didn't try to be something she isn't and say something cheesy or fake like "Your Mistress demands you bring her wine, you worthless little pig." Instead, even though she used the word please, it was not said as if she was asking me to do her a favor. It was a demand. It was said with the knowledge that, becuase of our new relationship, I would immediately do as told. The thing that was so incredibly sexy to me was that it was her, my wife, the woman I was in love with, just more Dominate.

There is much more that happened on Tuesday night. Much more. It was a very interesting and wonderful evening. I'll definitely continue, but it will have to be later.

More Dominance

She's phenomenal.  I can't believe how much she is enjoying being dominate.

It's not as if I hadn't broached the subject earlier in our marriage.  I'm not sure what has changed - maybe it's maturity, maybe it's that we have a very strong marriage and have been happily married for a long time now, maybe it's a comfort level with each other and our sexuality now, maybe it's because she's just finally interested in something new or something else - I don't know.  I do know that I'm so very happy now.  She's not only saying she's happy too, but I can see that she's happy.

There is a lot going between us, but her is a brief update on how she's exuding more and more dominance.

1)  I'm completely shaved now.  She's likes my balls, cock and entire groin area smooth.  She did let me choose whether to leave a little landing strip that is so popular with women these days.  Instead of landing strip, it's more a little square just above my cock.  Sure, it takes longer to shave in the morning in the shower, but it's worth it.

P.S. - any tips of dealing with the little red irritation bumps after shaving?  Lotions that work? 

2)  I'm required to keep my lips soft and supple for her.  She states that making sure my lips are kissable increases her enjoyment.  Of course, it's not as simple as me being able to use Chapstick or something.  Nope.  Instead, she requires me to wear Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer, in Champagne, all day long.

Yes, I work.  I work in a very very large office.  She says I can wear as much as I want so others will notice, or I can wear as little as I want, as long as it's actually visible.

So, I'm constantly wondering if people will notice.  If you've never seen, or heard of this, it's a Lip Balm, but with a "hint of luminescent color".  Champagne is a very light color, but also a little "glittery" - well, a shimmer - so if you use it, and the light hits your lips just so, it definitely shows.  And I'm sitting there, looking at my coffee cup and notice the shiny lipstick marks on it!  Wow, what a trip.

I actually really love the way it feels on me.  It definitely works.  My lips are softer.  But, being on edge all day long that someone is going to either see me applying it, or see the shimmer on the lips drives me crazy.  If anyone did say something, I think it's light enough for me to play it off by claiming it's a normal lip balm.  I expect, however, that if a woman saw me applying it, she would immediately recognize it and know the truth.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

She's Stressed

This won't come as a shock to anyone now days, but she's been stressed with typical American Family things: kids, bills, work, kids' school, and other commitments. She has a sales type job, which hasn't been as fruitful as she would have hoped, which is causing us both stress.

We talked about all of this last night, and she was almost apologizing about not doing more stuff lately, especially over the weekend. She even expressed that it must be torture for me since I haven't been able to cum in so long. I laughed at that, re-assuring her and telling her that my condition was voluntary to her. That we came to the agreement that this is how it would occur, that she should enjoy it, have fun with it and do whatever she wanted. I was there for her.

After our talk (which was in bed), I asked her if she wanted to have a relaxing orgasm so she could sleep better. When we usually make love, it's more frenetic, fast paced and intense. This time, however, I took my time, leisurely bringing her off.

She was very appreciative and I was very happy. I was ready to go to sleep, but she had other things in mind. She rolled on top of me to take off my panties (yes, she was requiring me to wear panties to bed - plain black cotton - very comfortable.) When she touched my panties, she noticed the huge wet spot that had formed from being so aroused when she allowed me to give her an orgasm. She said "Oh, looks like we had an accident!"

"No, that's just my pre-cum from being so horny," I said.

"Wow, that's a lot of pre-cum!" was her response.

Just that exchange almost made me cum! Little did I know at the time that was the least of my worries. She started to slowly and lightly lick my cock from top to bottom, but never sucking. She paid particular attention to sucking my balls, which by this time were throbbing. Just doing this literally brought me to brink, requiring me to tell her to stop or I'd lose it.

With one long slow suck of my cock, she said "You're going to be hard a long time tonight, aren't you? Do you need to go take a cold shower."

I did need to take one, but it was too late. It was a fitful sleep for me, but she was able to roll over and get sound asleep quickly.

Before going to sleep, however, we had one last exchange, in which she expressed happiness about our current game and that we were definitely making love more often and that she, of course, was really enjoying her power.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Uneventful Weekend

So, the countdown continues, and I'm no closer to the end than before the weekend!! She hasn't restrained me at all, so I've logged zero minutes. I still have 2 hours restrained until I can cum. I'm beginning to think that I've got a long long time.

The "be careful of what you wish for" mantra will be thought by many people. While I would love to cum more frequently, or even be played with more, I do not regret giving the power to her. She's got it, it's hers and she can do whatever she wants.

Now that I'm thinking of it, I'm still very far from the end. I have 5 objectives to finish. 3 of them can be done while being restrained, so I'm not worried about that, but the 5th one is a complete dinner, just for her, including all cleaning and then I am required to serve her drinks and other things for the remainder of the night.

That clock at the bottom is going to be going for a long time!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

We Played Last Night

My wife was feeling much better, so we ended up going out for a wonderful dinner with some friends. Great food, engaging conversations and a new beer I had never tasted before. All in all, a fun night.

After getting home and dealing with the kids, it was about 10:30 and she was tired. We headed to bed, but there was no indication from her that anything would happen. I know that when she gets like that, she'll usually be asleep in about 2 minutes of getting into bed.

I was anxious and, frankly, horny, but was also curious to see if she was going to play with me, or at least wanted an orgasm before going to bed. While she was getting ready for bed, I had the TV. Unfortunately, she basically got into bed and started to go to sleep. Having her there beside me was tough to not just turn over and beg for her to let me cum.

I guess before going on further, I'll have to explain a little bit more about the game. Essentially, it was a dice game, which decides not only the "objectives" I have to accomplish, but also how many days I won't be able to cum.

I got kind of screwed in the game, because initially, I rolled a four, which meant I only had to go 4 days without being able to cum. It's always her perogative, of course, to extend the time. My happiness at the short time frame was short lived, becauses I ended up having to accomplish 5 objectives. One of those objectives is being restrained for two full hours until I get to cum, regardless of the 4 days. So, until I log a total of 2 hours being restrained, regardless of how long it takes, I don't get to cum. I also have to finish the other four objectives.

So, last night, I knew I wasn't going to be able to cum, but I couldn't resist touching her as she was next to me. Gentle caresses of her legs, arms, and thighs didn't really get her going. I figured she was just sleepy, to I boldly rolled on top of her and started kissing her. Her reaction? A great big smile ..... or more of a smirk ..... and then she said "oh, so I guess we're going to do this."

She immiedately grabbed my already super hard cock and started jerking me off. I was so hard and so horny, and she was going so fast, that I think she forgot that she shouldn't let me cum! I almost had to stop her myself before I blew.

I began licking and sucking her nipples, when she started pushing my head down. Taking the not so subtle hint, I eagerly went down and starting eating her out. She sighed contentedly as I went to town on her. Not to brag, but I'm really good at this aspect of lovemaking - always have been. (Probably one of the reasons she married me!!!)

It didn't take long before she was having a thundering orgasm. Now, as I'm sure you can imagine, I was unbelievably hard. I slid up to her and we began kissing again. My cock was positioned right at her entrance. I looked at her and without speaking, I got the right to enter her. Bliss!!! Slow, sensual movement made her post-orgasm fucking very enjoyable.

After a while she pushed me out, said she was tired, and then, rather wickedly, said "I'll bet you wish you got to cum. You know, it was your idea and game." The lilt in her voice and smirk on her face was just too much. She slowing pulled up her panties, gave me a quick kiss, and then rolled over to sleep.

She was right - it was my idea and my game - and I loved every second of it so far!

Of course, even though we started the game several days ago, I have not spent even 1 second restrained, so I know that my days of not being able to cum are going to be very long.

Friday, October 23, 2009


The wife is sick :(. She got a head cold and was feeling nauseous, so obviously, no playing around last night.

Knowing that she was feeling sick, I made sure to wash the dishes that had piled up in the sink and took out all of the garbage. She later reminded me that the leaves needed to be taken out too, so I did that.

After finishing, she was on the couch watching Project Runway, a show she loves. I asked if there was anything else she wanted me to do and she said "unless you can make me feel not nauseous anymore, nope." Sadly, since I couldn't make her stomach feel better, I gave her a quick kiss and headed upstairs.

I'm hoping she's feeling better tonight. We're supposed to go out to dinner with some friends while the kids are being watched.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Our History

There is so much background and information to get out there that I'm sorta overwhelmed and at a loss on where to start. Instead, I'll just go through what we've been experimenting with recently.

We've been married for longer than 10 years and we were fairly vanilla in our life and sex life. All along, I've been the one to be interested in D/S, Femdom or BDSM sexual play. We've engaged in various and infrequent aspects of all of those throughout the 10 years of marriage. Nothing sustained.

A couple of months ago, I approached her with the idea of a little tease and denial game. She didn't really understand it, so I explained that it would be fun for her to be in charge of any sexual contact between us, that essentially she could do anything she wanted and demand anything she wanted, all the while denying me any release until she wished.

She expressed some confusion, asking why I would want this and ask for clarification on what she could do, when etc. Why did I want this indeed? How do you explain the wants and desires of a sub? Clearly, the giving up of control to her is a huge turn on. For those guys who have never had the teasing, it does make you unbelievably horny. Sitting there, having someone give you blow job just to the point of no return, and then stopping, just makes you incredibly hard. Servicing her and then having to go to bed, all the while not knowing if she'll let you cum the next day, it's incredible.

Now, you've got to be doing this in a loving relationship, with a lot of communication. Because both party's needs have to be met. She can't simply ignore you and you can't simply beg her. Don't get me wrong - I'm not judging other people's ways of doing the Femdom or Tease & Denial - it's just that that method would never work for us.

And that's the key. It's for us. It's not something she is naturally drawn to and therefore I have to present these things to her. She certainly did not play with me every night. Nor did she tease me by email, or phone during the day, or at home with the kids around. We lived our normal lives. Some of the nights, after the we were in bed, she'd tease me, make me make her cum and then go to bed, but other nights we did nothing.

Despite what you might read in fantasy sites, I was not walking around with a hard on all day long. I was, however, walking around with a mental hard on. I was wondering throughout the day if tonight I'd be allowed to cum. I was wondering whether we'd get to play that night. I was extremely enthusiastic in making her cum. I was on edge (pun intended), wondering how far she would look into her personality and character to be a Dom. Our game did last about a week, and was highly pleasurable for me.

After our game was over and she had let me cum, I did approach her a couple of days later to get her feelings on what happened. It was the first time we had done any type of "fun" that was out of the vanilla arena in a long long time. So I was very hopeful she was interested in doing it again. She expressed that she did enjoy being in charge and did enjoy the teasing part.

This made me very happy, because not only did I foresee us doing it again in the future, but also because she liked it. As I'm sure many will agree, a person who doesn't like being a Dom is not going to be a good Dom!

Several weeks went by between us with normal, vanilla, relations. Those are fun too. But then I approached her about another game.

We just started two days ago. I'll update that as it goes on!!!!


This is a blog for my wife - to let her know how much I love her. It's also a way for her to understand what the hell is going on in my head.

The title of this Blog tells you a little about what I intend to do here. It's cliche, but life is a journey, and I'll be using this to give a glimpse into a small portion of that overall journey.

As you can see from the counter at the bottom of the page, we have recently begun delving into Female Domination (Femdom.) There are a million blogs out there on Femdom, a million other hardcore Femdom websites and a million other hyperspecific blogs on Femdom. You can find WLM (Wife Led Marriage) sites, Chastity sites, D/S, Cuckold etc., everywhere. While I like and appreciate those sites, this site will not include hardcore pornography, overly explicit sex talk, or photographs. It will focus more on what we are doing, how we are liking it, and most importantly, how I am feeling about it.