I could start the post with all of the banal "I'm busy, work, life, kids", yadda, yadda, yadda, but that's not necessary.
I know that my wife will never ever embrace a full WLM, with domestic discipline, much more kinkiness, gender play, strap-on play etc. For all submissive men, or in general BDSM players, that is what you want. I'm sure there will be many who claim that if it were a "real WLM", then you'd not want any of those things, and instead only want whatever she wanted. I'm sure there are people who are like that. All I can say is that for me, that would never work.
Does that mean I "require" all of those things to be happy? Hell no. Does it mean if she never adopts any of that, I'll never be happy? Nope. I'm very happy in my marriage. I am always looking to improve my life in all aspects. Marriage, relationships, work, kids - I never stop trying to improve situation and myself.
And I have been slowly successful in certain aspects. On the WLM front, it's becoming more and more normal for her to be more assertive. These aren't of the immediate erection inducing comments, but more of a comfortable, normal interaction between us.
Here are some examples:
On Saturday, I did a lot of yard work (hard stuff [not detailed to protect identities!], not just raking leaves type stuff) and was still working at when she got home. After I was done with that, I was upstairs taking a shower and we were talking about all the things we still had to do for the day (i.e., take one kid here, take another kid there etc). Her comment to me was: "And you have to figure out what you're making for dinner, because I'm certainly not cooking." I'm sure I don't have to explain why this comment is so perfect.
We still have never had any type of formal conversation about adopting a WLM. I've never given any of the WLM type books out there (though I've read some.) We most certainly haven't discussed "submissiveness" or played any of the "games" I introduced before in a long long time. Yet, I think that because of my casual introduction of these concepts to her, over the long haul, she's just becoming more comfortable and understanding of what works. It's not as if she consciously thought "I'm going to make a comment in this manner because I want to titillate him." No, instead she knows I like those comments/actions, encouraged her to continue that, and she has just adopted it more and more.
Don't get me wrong; I personally believe that we can take all of this much much further. But I am very happy that it is moving along, albeit slowly.
I am still moving forward with actually adopting a formal male chastity lifestyle though. In general, whenever we make love, if I have brought her off by oral or something other than intercourse, she always reciprocates. For a long time, I've made comments to her, before she starts, like "you know, you don't have to do that if you don't want" or something to that effect. She always wants to do it, and so we are all good.
A couple of nights ago, we were making love and after I worked her to several orgasms, she was reciprocating. We had a nice exchange, though I know she still doesn't fully understand the concept. She had made a comment, before starting, about making me happy. I used that opening to say to her that what would make me happier was if, instead of bringing to orgasm, she denied me. She was "game" for it, and teased me a lot, but I know she still didn't really understand why I'd want that, what it meant or anything like that. She also wasn't successful, because she brought me off in all the teasing!! I had tried to get her to stop, but she didn't stop quickly enough and I was too far gone.
She was into the idea, so that's all good. While it didn't really work, doesn't bother me in the least, because she's open to the idea, I believe. I don't know how open she'd be if I suggested we do it for a month, give her complete control or whatever.
The discussion we had that wasn't geared towards a temporary game, but it also wasn't a direct request to adopt it for the future. I know that if I push things, move things too quickly, or continually talk about these things with her, she shuts down. I let everything slide, though I did, that night, explain how much I liked the denial.
The real interesting thing happened a couple of days later. We were watching TV together on the couch. At a commercial, I got up and asked if she wanted anything. She said no, but she was looking good on the couch and so I went and kissed her. She responded well, so I continued and kept going. She was responding very well, so I pulled off her shorts and brought her to a great orgasm on my knees while she lay back on the couch. After number one, I sat on the couch and used my hands for #2 and #3.
Hugging and kissing her afterward, I said "that was so much fun" and "I love to do that with you." She was very appreciative and said so. She made no effort to reciprocate, but we snuggled for a long time. Eventually, I dressed her and we continued to watch TV. As we were sitting there, she let me caress her legs and feet for a while. She used one of her feet to play with my still extremely erect member. Nothing to bring me off, or even close, but more of a playful acknowledgement. After a while, she moved to put her head near my lap and snaked a hand into my shorts, and rested her hand near my balls. She casually stroked in the area, but again, nothing on the penis or any move to engage further.
That TV session was heaven!!! It was perfect. I loved every second of it. But, my question is, did she consciously do that - and I mean do everything? Did she not reciprocate because she knew I'd love it if she didn't? Did she allow me to caress her legs and feet afterward because she knew I'd love that and it would keep me going? Was the foot on my crotch very specific, or something that just presented itself at the time? Was the light caress specifically designed?
I don't know!!! I have to talk to her about it, because I think it can only be a win/win situation. If she was doing it all on purpose, with purpose and thought, then we are much closer to adopting the lifestyle. If she didn't do it all on purpose, then there is no harm in telling her how much I absolutely loved it. Either way, it's all looking good.