Tuesday, November 24, 2009


I know that I'm trying to look at this in the long term, but it's starting to creep into my mind that she's not nearly as into it as I had originally thought.

There hasn't been a hint of Tease & Denial, Femdom.....anything, in a long time now. I have not broached the subject at all because I don't want to pressure or pester her into doing anything.

I'm still everything I had been before. I'm still offering to bring her wine, I'm still doing the dishes, I'm still doing other chores around the house, I'm still showing interest in her day etc. And don't get me wrong - I'm not doing these things solely as a way to "trick" her or get her to engage in Femdom or sex. I'm doing them because I have always done them and I love her.

What I have not received is any inkling from her that she's even thinking about it at all. I always understand when there are other issues that prevent engagement in relations. All she'd need to do is communicate that to me. Maybe she is thinking about it, but she's done nothing in her actions or her words to convey that.

The discouraging part is that we've had the discussions in the past where she admits that she needs to be better making time for us, to be more engaged. My option is to communicate to her how I've perceived these last couple of weeks, but I do not want her to agree with me and claim she'll do better in the future. We've had that dicussion many times. I don't want to have it again.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Another Great Image

Found this image on http://themarrieddomme.blogspot.com/ (a great blog.)

This photo represents where I would love for my relationship to be with my wife. We are not at a point where she will use a strap-on on me, nor have I even broached the subject of a chastity device. While we are engaging in chastity right now, it's a self-imposed and "trust" version. She simply trusts that I do not have an orgasm outside of her presence.

Of course, I would love to submit to her locking my cock in a chastity device. The symbolism of her engaging in the act of placing the device on, taking the key, and wearing the key as a daily reminder would powerful to me, and hopefully powerful to her. I would be surprised if she ever a) agreed to do it; and b) enjoyed it. One issue is that it is pushing her out of her element and the other issue is the "found out" thing. She would be deathly afraid that the kids would see, or that someone would know. These don't bother me as much - I couldn't care less what others think or know. She is different.

And the strap-on is a "no go" right now. She states that she does not enjoy anal sex and thinks it's gross. I also believe, though she claims otherwise, that she associates a strap-on to a male is a homosexual thing.

It's a long process, but I'm hoping that I can disprove the age old maxim of "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." I'm hoping that if I keep exposing her to new things, gradually increasing her awareness and showing her how much it is something she would enjoy, that she will gradually become more actively engaged.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Devilish Woman

It's funny, because the more I sit there and think she's not doing anything, the more she surprises me.

Friday was a really bad day for her and we ended up staying home that night. She went to bed early, and nothing happened.

Saturday, she kept making sneaky little comments throughout the day. Just little things like "how are you doing" while patting my crotch, talking about "maybe tonight will be the night, and just things like that. One other funny comment was in the morning. She was getting out of the shower and I was getting into the shower. As we passed, she noticed my shaved groin area, which still has the red bumps from shaving. I haven't figured out to not get those yet (and yes, I use a really good razor). As we were passing each other, the following discussion occurred:

"See, now you know what it's like to have to shave your bikini area," she said.

I responded "You're right. But the good thing is it doesn't itch."

"Yea, but what about the red bumps there," she said.

"Well, it's not like anyone is going to see them but you!"

"You're damn right," she said, and then she left. I thought it was funny!

Anyway, I knew that she was going out on Saturday night for her friends birthday. I stayed home and while it was kinda torture, after the kids were in bed, I ended up reading some of the great blogs out there, and watching a little porn. It was stupid, because all it did was make me really horny and I ended up edging myself! I finally stopped myself and watched a movie.

I was up when she got home at about 11 a.m. I was in bed watching tv. She was nicely buzzed, but no where near drunk. She got ready for bed and climbed in with me. She snuggled up to me, we talked about the night and then she started to play with me through my boxers. I was really enjoying it, instantly got hard, and she kept going till she knew it was going to be too much. When she'd stop, she just lay there watching tv with me.

After the last time, though, she had fallen asleep. So there I was, leaking, hugely hard, and she was done.

The next day, I was very randy, and was all over all day. I was really hoping that last night I would finish my time restrained. The day took a turn for the worse when we were supposed to get something delivered to our house and then found out it would take several more weeks. That really pissed her off (not either of our fault), but we ended up getting a little heated. My fault, because I should have just recognized that she was made at the situation, and not me.

Anyway, that put the damper on the day. We spent the rest of the day with friends, which put her in a better mood. But by the time we got home, the house was a freaking mess. I spent the rest of the day trying to please her by cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming the house and doing the dishes. Alas, it was not to be. She had to finish work and then went to bed.

She definitely thanked me for my work on Sunday, but I'm still waiting!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Tease & Denial

"Whatershesays" brought up a subject I wanted to address related to my situation. He wondered whether my wife engaged in the "tease" part of "tease & denial", or whether I was just "denied."

The short answer to his question was "yes, she does engage in the tease part." She has expressed how much she likes teasing me. As you can see from the repeat of the full description of Thursday night, she really liked doing it.

And she even did it on Monday night. She was tired and engaged in a little teasing, just with her hands, bringing me to the brink, and then stopping. She had to "suffer" the consequences, as we spooned and felt a poking as she went to sleep, but I think she was satisfied with her work.

Of course, I'd like to be teased every night, but that's not gonna happen.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Thursday Night, the 5th

Now that it's been almost a week, I'll try to do my best to replay Thursday night.

After the great dinner, she went to watch her favorite show, Project Runway, while I finished cleaning the table and all of the dishes. Once I was done, I sat with her to watch Project Runway. While I hate reality TV, I can at least sit through this show without trying to kill myself.

After the show was over, she stood up and said "let's go upstairs now." She had a big smile on her face. While I knew it was coming, I was still feeling a happy anxiousness and nervousness. I was feeling that way due to the unknown. I didn't know what she was going to do!

She grabbed a scarf and said we'd use that. Now, we have a restraint system. We have many cuffs, with straps, that allow you to wrap around a 4 post bed and get you spread eagle. We have other restraints too. I had been picturing this type of set up all along. When she said we'd use the scarf, I was surprised and taken aback, so I blurted out "Really? What about the restraints. You don't have four scarfs," and I kind of continued to ramble. In retrospect, it was partly because I was so excited and surprised at the same time.

Her response smacked me back to reality. With a firm voice, she said "Are you really telling me how to do this?" I immediately thought, "Oh, I'm no idiot. I'm blowing it. I need to fix this." So I began apologizing, trying to explain what I meant. I started explaining the benefits of the cuffs, why they were better, why they were easier and that I was just trying to help. Again, in retrospect, I am an idiot, because that came out wrong too! Luckily for me, I think she found it amusing and simply said "We are doing it my way. Now get upstairs."

Once there, she made me get completely naked, had me lie on the bed, and then she tied the scarf around my wrist, around a bed post and then around my other wrist. She went into the closet and came out wearing a red teddy. Of course, by this time, I was already hard.

She came around the bed, sat down, and then said "you'll just have to sit there while I read my book." Wicked woman!

I politely asked if I could watch tv, but was denied. Instead, she did allow me to read a magazine. This proved slightly difficult given the restraints on my hands, but doable. This went on for about 20 minutes. 20 minutes of torture/anticipation on my part!

Without warning, she put her book down, rolled over, and grabbed my cock. She lightly rubbed. Lightly bit. Lightly flicked. Scrapped her nails along my cock and balls. I was on fire. Bucking, moaning, thrashing. She could tell I was extremely worked up and said "you had better not cum while I'm doing this. You won't be happy if you do."

I cannot adequately express in words how tantalizing close to orgasm I was. But more importantly, I cannot adequately express in words how this was affecting me mentally. She was laughing while teasing me. Not a cruel laugh, but a happy, amused laugh. That she was enjoying it so much, that she was embracing the Femdom, that I had been in chastity for so long, that she was teasing me so well, that I was restrained, it was all just so sublime.

She could tell how close I was, so she said I needed a little break. She rolled back to her side, and continued to read her book. Leaking copious amounts of pre-cum, harder than ever, and charged up beyond belief, the sudden stopping had me shuddering. I closed my eyes, simultaneously trying to ignore what had just happened to calm myself, and replaying what just happened because it was so intense. It was difficult. I asked if I could watch tv to take my mind off of everything and calm down, and she let me.

She turned the tv on and it was a football show and asked it that was o.k. Honestly, I couldn't respond. I just said "yea, whatever. I don't care. Whatever is good." She laughed and continued reading her book.

Eventually, she went through another teasing session and the declared "that's enough." At that point, I had logged 42 minutes restrained. I felt as if I had been restrained for several hours. Realizing that I still had 1:18 more minutes to be restrained before I got to cum was somewhat distressing, but nothing could take away from that great night.

The night, however, wasn't over.

After the restraints were taken off, she climbed on me and began to aggressively kiss me. She demanded I make her cum, so I rolled her on back and started going crazy on her. While I was going down on her, she surprised me by saying "I need you to fuck me right now, but don't you dare cum." She usually cums easily when I eat her, but tonight, she clearly wanted to be penetrated.

The surprise to me was that I wondered whether she realized that there was no way I could fuck her tonight, if I wasn't supposed to cum!!! Especially not after those two teasing sessions. I mean, it had been over two weeks in chastity at that point. That was crazy talk.

Despite my thoughts, I immediately got up and entered her. I started slowly, concentrating on not going too fast to send me over the edge. Still, after about a minute, I told her I couldn't continue without cumming. I asked her if she wanted me to use the vibrator on her. She was disappointed that I couldn't last, but growled "yes."

I ran to the closet, returned and continued with the vibrator. After her very intense orgasm, we stayed very close. We talked. We talked alot.

The night was a great great night. Better than I had anticipated.

It did bring up many questions that are still unanswered for me. Whether she wants to continue this even after our little game. Whether she will become more and more Dominate. While she has enjoyed doing some of this, there are many days in between anything sexually happening, but even in those down days, there isn't any Femdom stuff happening either.

I know she enjoys the control aspect in bed. I know that I have a much higher libido than she does, so I know that I'll want sex 3-4 times a week to her one time. I know that I would like more of a Femdom relationship and I think for her it's more of a novelty thing, as opposed to an every day thing.

Again, we shall see. I do realize that we've only been doing this for about a month and expecting a huge change so early is completely unrealistic.

Monday, November 9, 2009


I haven't been able to get to updating what happened Thursday night. Mainly, it's because a lot happened.

So, before I update Thursday night, I wanted to address my own experience so far with Chastity. (That's somewhat of a spoiler, because that means it didn't happen on Thursday night!)

This is officially the longest I've gone being denied by my wife. And, since I've never been involved in any "denial" games, it's the longest I've ever gone in my life, because I could always masturbate before.

So it's been interesting to me to see how my responses/feelings have evolved over this long period of denial. (At least long for me. I know others have gone much much longer.)

It's tough to explain what I've been feeling because one description is not all encompassing. I've felt sexual frustration, anxiety, desire, inability to concentrate, huge desire for my wife, and continual wondering when it will end. Those feelings increased and intensified day by day.

Initially, I believed that it would keep increasing every day until the end. But, a funny thing happened at about 2 weeks. At two weeks, the feelings, while still very strong, started to lower. I mean, they weren't as intense. While they lowered, they were still more intense than they were at day 1 or 2 into Chastity. Thinking of it as a graph with intensity on the vertical line and time on the horizontal line, it was a steady increase, then a plateau at week 2 weeks, then a decrease about a quarter of the way down, and then a long steady straight line plateau. It's like a calm set in.

It's still intense, but not all encompassing now. It's like a new normal, and it got me to thinking that this is the new normal that I would want forever. Not that I want to be denied forever. But I would like for the control to be hers, so that I would be at this level of intense in our relationship. Where she becomes more and more Dominate, where she enjoys it to the point where she comes to the realization that this would be the norm she wants. Where she would enjoy the Femdom aspect and doesn't do it only when we are doing the "game", but that it's how we interact.

I'm not at all optimistic that this where it will end up, but we'll see. It's not like I'm expecting her to go from rather vanilla to hardcore kink in a matter of a month or two.

Good thing is that we're together for the long haul, we have an extremely strong loving relationship already and it's a great sign she was open to try this in the first place!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Thursday Night

I am on such a high right now, I can't stand it. Of course, it's the middle of the day, I'm working, and I have a million things to do, so I can't provide a full update. I promise to update what happened last night very soon.

Be that as it may, in addition to the main reason for this blog, I'm sort of a foodie. I love to cook and believe I'm pretty good. It's not like I'll be opening my own restaurant any time soon, but I truly enjoy making dishes and dinners.

Last night, I followed a lobster recipe pretty much to a "T" and was extremely happy with the results. (Lobster is her favorite food.) I entered into it with a little trepidation as it called for ingredients I wasn't sure she would like. But it turned out phenomenal. And it wasn't just me, my Wife thought the same. She even said it tasted like something you'd only be able to order at a rstaurant. I could not have asked for a better compliment. My success must have been because I was feeling so good and so excited.

The food ended up being a foretelling of the good times for the rest of the evening.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Nothing's Happening - But It Will

Never would have thought it when I started this, but I find that I'm extremely wordy. I'm trying to keep the posts shorter, but it just seems like I've got a whole boat load of stuff that I end up saying.

I don't think I ever went over the rest of the "objectives" that I had to complete before I got to cum. The objectives could be done in any order. The five were:

1) Wear eye shadow for a day;
2) Wear the Burt's Bees Lip Balm;
3) 3 minutes of spanking;
4) Be restrained for 2 full hours. (They don't have to be continuous, just a total of 2 hours); and
5) Make dinner for her, serve dinner to her, clean everything, make drinks for her all night, and then serve her in anyway for the rest of the night.

(Surprisingly, the shaving and the ice cube were not a part of the game.)

So far, I've done the Burt's Bees Lip Balm (still doing it) and we've had the 3 minutes of spanking. As for the rest, read on.

Nothing has been going on between us sexually since the ice cube day. I didn't say anything for fear of pressuring her. Finally, on Tuesday, we were talking on the phone and she was explaining how busy of a day and how bad of day she was having. I seized that opportunity to try to be playful, hopefully sparking a response from her. I asked if she wanted to have her Dinner night tonight, to make her feel better. She was immediately receptive to that idea, making me immediately start searching my favorite recipe site www.epicurious.com for something to make for her.

Unfortunately, by the time I got home from work, the kids had worn her down. She was very tired, and very hungry, and didn't really want to wait for the 2 hours for me to make dinner for her. I was disappointed, but understood. I explained that I could make it for her on Thursday, since she was working on Wednesday night. She thought that was a good idea. I still made dinner for her, just not that "type" of dinner.

After the kids were in bed and she was on the couch watching TV, I went over to her, hugged her and lay with her. We began talking about the day, etc., and even the aborted dinner issue.

The really good news was that by our discussion, we planned on Thursday being the night for her dinner. She also expressed that she would restrain me that day too. She suggested I wear the eye shadow today at work today, so that my release could come on Thursday.

It was a bittersweet thing, though, because while it was clear that she was enjoying the game, enjoying being "in charge", it was also clear from our discussion that this is not something she really thinks about, or necessarily has an overriding desire to continue. My guess would be that if I never brought up her taking charge again, she'd never actually do it. It seems to me that in order for her to take charge, I would have to top from the bottom.

Then again, I'd rather top from the bottom and have Femdom in my relationship, regardless of however small, than not do it and have no Femdom in my relationship.

So while I'm sitting her at work, wearing eye shadow (a very light brown - and I'm "lucky", you can't really see my eyelids too much anyway, so it's not very noticable), and the Lip Balm (which turns me on greatly), and I'm getting very excited about Thursday, I'm also approaching it with trepidation as to the future. If she does restrain me for 2 hours and I get my release that day, that's the end of the "game" that I created. What then?

Monday, November 2, 2009

Great Picture

Got this picture from queentakesknight at tumblr.com. If any woman wonders what's in it for her in a Femdom relationship, she really needs to study this picture for a long time.

Starting To Go Crazy

It's been almost two weeks. I'm really starting to lose focus on work and can't concentrate. I'm just wondering whether she'll tie me up tonight, whether it'll be tomorrow, or whenever!

I haven't said anything to her because of her situation, but man, it's getting hard.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

The Weekend

Her having a "visitor" beginning on Friday and then having a ton of kids/families over for a kid party on Saturday has left zero time for play.

Hoping for something this week. We'll see.

Still haven't logged any time restrained! Sunday isn't over, but damn, I'm really ready for it.

Thursday Night

After the great Tuesday night, nothing happened Wednesday or Thursday. Well, not until the end.

Other than an appreciative kiss on Wednesday morning for the Tuesday night festivies, there was no playing on Wednesday or Thursday. Not even a smidge. Of course, that made me bummed. I realized that while my desires were becoming heightened because of the chastity, hers were doing just the opposite! Since she had been getting relief all the time, she's not going to be ready to rock every night.

Anyway, I was very tired from work, so I had gone to bed at 10:00 on Thursday. She was still watching tv downstairs and came up at about 10:15. I don't fall asleep quickly, so I was still awake when she came upstairs. She had a glass of water with ice.

"You're asleep already?"

"Yea, I'm tired and I have lots of work tomorrow."

"Oh, well, I brought ice."

That last comment confused me. She then said, "off with your underwear." Hmmm, this was coming out of left field, but I was all for it.

She took an ice cube and started dripping it on my cock. She then starting rubbing it all over by cock and balls, commnenting on how that must hurt. Despite the cold, I was still rock hard and liking the effect. She even starting sucking my balls and cock every once in a while - and the heat of her mouth in contrast to the cold was incredible.

Once the ice cube melted, she told me to put my underwear back and go to sleep.

Crazy. And I wasn't expecting that.