Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Thursday Night, the 5th

Now that it's been almost a week, I'll try to do my best to replay Thursday night.

After the great dinner, she went to watch her favorite show, Project Runway, while I finished cleaning the table and all of the dishes. Once I was done, I sat with her to watch Project Runway. While I hate reality TV, I can at least sit through this show without trying to kill myself.

After the show was over, she stood up and said "let's go upstairs now." She had a big smile on her face. While I knew it was coming, I was still feeling a happy anxiousness and nervousness. I was feeling that way due to the unknown. I didn't know what she was going to do!

She grabbed a scarf and said we'd use that. Now, we have a restraint system. We have many cuffs, with straps, that allow you to wrap around a 4 post bed and get you spread eagle. We have other restraints too. I had been picturing this type of set up all along. When she said we'd use the scarf, I was surprised and taken aback, so I blurted out "Really? What about the restraints. You don't have four scarfs," and I kind of continued to ramble. In retrospect, it was partly because I was so excited and surprised at the same time.

Her response smacked me back to reality. With a firm voice, she said "Are you really telling me how to do this?" I immediately thought, "Oh, I'm no idiot. I'm blowing it. I need to fix this." So I began apologizing, trying to explain what I meant. I started explaining the benefits of the cuffs, why they were better, why they were easier and that I was just trying to help. Again, in retrospect, I am an idiot, because that came out wrong too! Luckily for me, I think she found it amusing and simply said "We are doing it my way. Now get upstairs."

Once there, she made me get completely naked, had me lie on the bed, and then she tied the scarf around my wrist, around a bed post and then around my other wrist. She went into the closet and came out wearing a red teddy. Of course, by this time, I was already hard.

She came around the bed, sat down, and then said "you'll just have to sit there while I read my book." Wicked woman!

I politely asked if I could watch tv, but was denied. Instead, she did allow me to read a magazine. This proved slightly difficult given the restraints on my hands, but doable. This went on for about 20 minutes. 20 minutes of torture/anticipation on my part!

Without warning, she put her book down, rolled over, and grabbed my cock. She lightly rubbed. Lightly bit. Lightly flicked. Scrapped her nails along my cock and balls. I was on fire. Bucking, moaning, thrashing. She could tell I was extremely worked up and said "you had better not cum while I'm doing this. You won't be happy if you do."

I cannot adequately express in words how tantalizing close to orgasm I was. But more importantly, I cannot adequately express in words how this was affecting me mentally. She was laughing while teasing me. Not a cruel laugh, but a happy, amused laugh. That she was enjoying it so much, that she was embracing the Femdom, that I had been in chastity for so long, that she was teasing me so well, that I was restrained, it was all just so sublime.

She could tell how close I was, so she said I needed a little break. She rolled back to her side, and continued to read her book. Leaking copious amounts of pre-cum, harder than ever, and charged up beyond belief, the sudden stopping had me shuddering. I closed my eyes, simultaneously trying to ignore what had just happened to calm myself, and replaying what just happened because it was so intense. It was difficult. I asked if I could watch tv to take my mind off of everything and calm down, and she let me.

She turned the tv on and it was a football show and asked it that was o.k. Honestly, I couldn't respond. I just said "yea, whatever. I don't care. Whatever is good." She laughed and continued reading her book.

Eventually, she went through another teasing session and the declared "that's enough." At that point, I had logged 42 minutes restrained. I felt as if I had been restrained for several hours. Realizing that I still had 1:18 more minutes to be restrained before I got to cum was somewhat distressing, but nothing could take away from that great night.

The night, however, wasn't over.

After the restraints were taken off, she climbed on me and began to aggressively kiss me. She demanded I make her cum, so I rolled her on back and started going crazy on her. While I was going down on her, she surprised me by saying "I need you to fuck me right now, but don't you dare cum." She usually cums easily when I eat her, but tonight, she clearly wanted to be penetrated.

The surprise to me was that I wondered whether she realized that there was no way I could fuck her tonight, if I wasn't supposed to cum!!! Especially not after those two teasing sessions. I mean, it had been over two weeks in chastity at that point. That was crazy talk.

Despite my thoughts, I immediately got up and entered her. I started slowly, concentrating on not going too fast to send me over the edge. Still, after about a minute, I told her I couldn't continue without cumming. I asked her if she wanted me to use the vibrator on her. She was disappointed that I couldn't last, but growled "yes."

I ran to the closet, returned and continued with the vibrator. After her very intense orgasm, we stayed very close. We talked. We talked alot.

The night was a great great night. Better than I had anticipated.

It did bring up many questions that are still unanswered for me. Whether she wants to continue this even after our little game. Whether she will become more and more Dominate. While she has enjoyed doing some of this, there are many days in between anything sexually happening, but even in those down days, there isn't any Femdom stuff happening either.

I know she enjoys the control aspect in bed. I know that I have a much higher libido than she does, so I know that I'll want sex 3-4 times a week to her one time. I know that I would like more of a Femdom relationship and I think for her it's more of a novelty thing, as opposed to an every day thing.

Again, we shall see. I do realize that we've only been doing this for about a month and expecting a huge change so early is completely unrealistic.


At all Times said...

AO – I was very much in the same position, as you seem to be now, several years ago. You enjoy being dominated, bondage, teased, even denied and this is a “game” that your wife seems happy to play once in a while, but in between nothing, not even many elements associated with a WLM or as you put a femdom relationship.

Now I may be completely wrong, and only have my own experience to go on, but I would guess that your wife whilst happy to “play” once in a while, will not necessarily wish to see a full on “femdom” relationship outside the bedroom. You say that you talked afterwards but that it still left you with many unanswered questions. I just wondered what it is that you would like for your relationship, and what it is that you think your wife would accept as either being reasonable, or what she would be happy with. If there is a wide division of opinions then I would suggest that you might be in for a frustrating time, unless you can both find a mutually satisfying middle ground.

I would guess, and of course I maybe wrong, but that like many others before you, you may yet turn towards a more traditional WLM as a way of encouraging your wife to be more dominant both inside and outside the bedroom.

I cant remember but does your wife read your blog?

Another One said...


She definitely does not read this blog. She does not even know it exists. This blog is more of a way for me to express myself. An outlet. As I'm sure you know, it's not something I can talk about with any of my friends, family, or anyone. And yet, the situation is so intense, that not having an outlet would be very difficult.

You wrote: "I would guess that your wife whilst happy to “play” once in a while, will not necessarily wish to see a full on “femdom” relationship outside the bedroom." That's exactly where we are right now.

Based upon a month's reflection, and reading other blogs like yours, I've come to the conclusion that this is a very long term, slow process. Instead of obsessing on where we are going, how to get there etc., on a day to day basis, I'm going to really relax.

She has been explicit that she doesn't want to engage in playful Femdom or WLM as a daily thing. Instead of trying to discuss it with her all the time, I have been doing more subtle things. For example, making sure to help around the house even more (I already did a lot), communicating more on how her day is going etc.

I'm hopeful that doing these things more make her happier, less stressed and more engaged. The thing that I'm happy about is that she's very willing to play in the bedroom and open to see where this takes us. I did ask her if she would be scared if I wanted to continue this after the "game" and without hesitating, she said "no."