Monday, December 28, 2009

New Game

I hope everyone had a great holiday break. I sure did, and am not happy to be back in the grind.

All has been quiet on the movement for a more Femdom marriage. It clearly took a back seat to the more pressing events.

I've been reading The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance. I purchased it with the thought of giving it to her to read for a variety of reasons. I believe she is not aware of how pervasive the alt lifestyle is in the world. Femdom, BDSM, Chastity, etc., are all areas she probably believes are extremely small. The more exposure she gets to that, the more it becomes "normal." (Please note that I used quotes for normal to convey the idea that the term is not helpful in describing real life. It's a shortcut that provides no meaning.)

I also purchased it to see if there were ways to convey to her a different perspective on the lifestyle, instead of strictly my version.

I thought it might be helpful in providing ideas.

I thought it might be helpful in persuading her into the lifestyle.

Now, I have not finished the book. I have only gone through the first couple of chapters. I find the book interesting to read, but I will not be giving it to me my wife.

The main problem is that the book is extremely focused on teaching a budding Femdom on how to create, plan, structure and enact scenes. It has a section on props, appropriate language, costumes etc. She is extremely against this type of scenario. She has less than zero interest in doing any of those things. She despises props and costumes. She freezes up, fails to function, and looses all sexual excitement when engaging is an acting play like this.

I know that when she sees the chapters, she will immediately dismiss the book and refuse to read it.

It's a shame, because the book does have good chapters on the psychology of Femdom/Submissive relationship, benefits, desires, etc.

Instead, I think I'm going to start a new Game like we did before. She's expressed a desire to do another game. It was brought up by her once, and she hasn't brought it up since, but at least she is the one who brought it up. That does show interest.

I think doing another game will give her an opportunity to experience the pleasures of being a Femdom. Again, more and more exposure to it will hopefully have her craving it more and more.

This is one of my favorite positions. I know she loves it too, though she's expressed before how she feels bad because she feels like she's smothering me. I want to scream "I KNOW AND I LOVE IT!!!" Actually, the one thing about this position that I truly love is that she gets so excited, she forgets about me. Her orgasms are so powerful, that when it hits, she goes completely wild on my face, without any care about my breathing, nose, lips, anything! Divine.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Photo Comment

I found this photo very interesting, but probably not for the same reasons that others do. But first, the obvious observations:

This is a very hot cuckolding scene. I'm not into real life cuckolding, but in the right setting, it can be a powerful fantasy, especially given my prediliction for FemDom. (But this is a post about the photo, not cuckolding.)

I like the major contrast in color in this photo. No color whatsoever, except for her red shoes. Red is the obvious choice for this color scheme, as red implies power for the woman, but also sensuality.

Not sure if I like the actual shoes though. Better than a stereotypical sky high red heel, but a worn sling back seems odd.

I like how she's obviously completely nude, but the photographer shows no nudity. Much more powerful than graphic nudity.

I like how she's touching him with only one shoe. It's an acknowledgment of his presence by her. It's like she's saying "even though you're not watching, you should be aware of me."

I like how he's turned away from her, apparently engrossed in his book, without acknowledging her presence, but he seems content and happy.

Her pose is great too. Completely relaxed, prone, comfortable, and enjoying her lover. Eyes closed, enjoying the kiss.

Subtle placement of his left thumb on her nipple (presumed, since you can't see the nipple, but that's what it looks like to me.)

I like how you can't tell what he's reading. The cover is blank, so you're left to wonder "what could possibly be in that book more interesting than what is happening right next to him!"

But now the odd things about the photo. Where in the heck is this taken? In the background, we see what appears to be a room with a TV hanging from the ceiling in the corner, like a hospital. Of course, this is not a hospital. If it is, it's the weirdest hospital with mirrored walls!

Is this an office? It's not an office. What offices have TVs hanging in the corner? And if it's an office, why in the heck is there a nicely made bed in the middle?

I guess it's a bedroom. But again, what bedroom has an entire mirrored wall (or walls, I can't tell.) If it is a bedroom, it appears to be a modern room, but if so, that's an old school TV hanging. That seems completely out of place.

Friday, December 18, 2009

She Has Not Grasped It Yet

So, as you know, she had her party last night. After getting that text from her about the work she had done, I texted back to her that I was happy she was happy etc., but then added the following: "Of course, you could have 'made' me do it, with a little ingenuity :)" I did not receive a response. I got the feeling she didn't really understand what I meant.

Anyway, her party was for only women, so as soon as I got home, I took the kids out for the evening. Upon my return at 10:00 p.m., the party was ending. She actually had to go work right after the party. We talked for a while, then she left for work, stating she be back in about a half hour. When she left, she made a comment that she was happy because she didn't think cleaning up would take too long and that she'd do it when she got home.

Looking at the house, there was a lot of clean up necessary. Champagne and wine glasses everywhere. Open bottles of wine and other drinks. Appetizers and other food. The living room had been re-arranged for purposes of the party.

I had two choices. Go to bed and let her clean it up. Or do it myself. I'm sure everyone knows what I did.

By the time she got home, everything was almost done, except that I was still vacuuming. She was extremely happy - expressed how happy she was that I had done all of this. She even stated that I had gone "above and beyond the duty." She kept telling me how great it was that I done that for her.

Then, this morning, I did two more things. In preparing for her party, she had put the coffee maker away. Before she got up, I found the coffee maker, and made coffee for her. It's not a big thing, of course, but it was knowing what she would like and making that happen. I also wrote a note about how much I loved her and put it with her Iphone.

Needless to say, she was extremely happy and pleased.

Despite this - and all that has happened - the light has not yet switched! Baby steps.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

I've Got More Work To Do!

Maybe my wife is not taking charge because she's a sub too!

We're having a party tomorrow and we've talked about what needs to be done, etc., and I, of course, offered to clean the house tonight when I get off of work.

I just received a text from her saying that she just cleaned the bathrooms, the bedrooms, living room, dining room and did the laundry!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Kinda Hoping For This Tonight

Things are very busy around here. Issues with the house, kids, holidays, work, etc.

Still, hoping she does this soon:

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Doing A Little More

Most people believe that in a FLR, the work done by the husband should be done for her enjoyment, regardless of whether the husband likes doing the work.

In the previous post, I noted that I gave her a pedicure. I actually like giving her pedicures. I don't mind cleaning the bathroom, or doing the dishes. But I dislike doing the laundry.

Many people question whether that is really being submissive. Is it being submissive to do something for someone else when the submissive derives great pleasure from doing the task? Wouldn't it be more of a FLR if I did all of the laundry, since it's the laundry I don't like doing?

Even before approaching her on this type of lifestyle, I already contributed very much to the household chores, despite working very long hours 5 days a week. So it's not as if I've gone from doing nothing to doing a whole lot. I can only do so much, however, with the time I have at home.

While there is no correct universal answer, for me, I've now made a concerted effort to do even more things, and doing more of the things that I do not like doing.

A couple of nights ago, she made a comment that she had to go clean the soup pot. (She had made soup for the kids and apparently the pot was still dirty. I did not know she had used the pot, or that it was dirty.) It was late at night, and I was really tired. I could have easily just not said anything, or not do anything, but instead I told her I would go clean it. She "you don't have to do that." I replied, "no, it's o.k., I'll go do it."

And even later on that night, she stated she was going downstairs to get a glass of water. I again jumped up and we ended up with a very similar exchange about soup pot.

We also talked about how the rest of the week was shaping up, all the stuff we had to do, etc. I made a mental note of what she said. One of those was vacuuming, so on Sunday, I began vacuuming. She expressed surprise that I was doing this. I think she said "You just decided to vacuum?"

While I would have much rather sat and watched football, that she noticed the effort and appreciate it, was much more rewarding.

I don't know if she fully grasps what is taking place though. Sure, she enjoys the extra help, the pedicures, manicures, getting her drinks etc., but I don't know if she's started to realize the depth of what is occurring. I hope, however, that these efforts will, little by little, lead to more involved FLR.

Taking the Initiative

After reading other blogs on this subject, and the comments to my own blog, I've started to take the initiative of being submissive to see how that develops, and I think it's working.

Prior to vacation she got a pedicure. While on vacation, she received several chips and we were in a place where nothing could be done to fix them. She was disappointed in the appearance, but since we've been so busy lately, finding time to get another pedicure, or even just taking the old polish off, was going to be difficult.

After I came home from work, and after the kids were in bed, she was working on the computer. We both still had a lot of things to do, so I quickly finished mine work. I knew her work was going to take about another 45 minutes.

Without telling her beforehand, I picked out a nice color nail polish and retrieved all of the necessary equipment. I sat down at her feet and removed her socks. She looked down at me with a look of "what in the hell are you doing?" I just said I knew her polish was bothering her, so I was going to give her a pedicure while she worked. She laughed, but didn't protest.

So there I was, on the floor, providing a very nice pedicure for her, while she went ahead and worked. It wasn't like she was ignoring me, but she definitely wasn't paying attention to me.

After I was done, she looked down and complimented me on the good job I had done. She was genuinely pleased with the result. (I should note, this wasn't the first time I've ever given a pedicure to her ..... or myself. I've done both throughout the years.)

She then said, "I should have you do this all time." "I would love to do that for you, as often as you want," was my reply.

Now, when she made her comment, she didn't really mean it the "Femdom" way originally. That sentence may sound weird, but what I mean is that she didn't say it as you would imagine a Femdom in a story would say. She was not trying to be dominant, sexual, or even teasing. It was said by a "vanilla" woman who, at the time, was very happy that her problem (her chipped nail polish) had been fixed, without any effort by her, without having to ask for it to be fixed, the process was pleasurable and she was very pleased with how her toes actually looked. Her comment was happy, content, relieved.

This whole situation couldn't have gone better, I thought. I satisfied my own submissive desires. Honestly, sitting at our wives feet, giving a pedicure to her, while she ignored us, or even just sat back enjoying being pampered, is a great feeling.

But then, the result was great too. I was very pleased because she was so pleased. That part brought me joy. Seeing her happy and appreciative made me happy.

And then, of course, is the simple fact that her comment and my response is another piece of the puzzle for her to realize what I've meant about a gradual change in our dynamic. Slow realization that she can ask for, and receive, these acts from me, all to my own pleasure, let alone hers. Also, the realization that what I've been talking about doesn't have to be these long, drawn out, thought out, events that need to be planned by her.

She is afraid of, and probably incapable of, creating and planning sexual scenarios. And while I've tried explaining to her that while I would love for her to do those things, that wasn't what I was asking in the first place. But I'm still hopeful that by doing these things for her, she does, at some point in the future, realize that she can ask/order me to do these things for her. I want her to be able to look at her toes, be annoyed that they are chipped, and then think - I'll get him to fix them when he gets home.

The Game is Over

I've got to take the counter down, because that ship finally sailed right before Thanksgiving, but since I was gone, I haven't had the opportunity to provide the update.

Unfortunately, at least from my point of view, it wasn't some grand elaborate event. That's not to say that after over a month, the release wasn't incredible. The release was unbelievable. As most of us subs are known to do, I had grandiose ideas of how the final event would take place. The reality could never have lived up to the build up in my head.

After dinner and getting the kids to bed, she simply had me go up stairs, restrained me, and then read her book for the alloted time I had left. After that, she did spend some time teasing me, until finally engulfing me. It didn't take long at all. It was mind blowing - I was shaking for a while after the deed was done. It took a while to come down off the high. She didn't even want me to do anything in return.

Maybe because I'm the type who thinks about things all the time, I was sorta taken aback that she never discussed what we just went through! It's been several weeks now since that night, and she hasn't mentioned anything about it! Makes me wonder what's going through her head. Mind you, we are so very very busy that we've barely had time to say "hi" to each other, let alone get into a discussion about our little journey.

With the remainder of December looking extremely busy, I'm not going to be pushing anything.

Monday, December 7, 2009

A Funny Event

Just got back from vacation, so I'm very swamped and don't have much time to update things. But a funny little thing happened while on vacation.

We were are a rather crowded bar, with myself, my wife, and then several others. We were sitting next to a table of about 4 or 5 40 year old women. They were attractive and clearly having a good time out alone.

While I was thoroughly enjoying my scotch, this was more a pub type bar and my wife and the other women we were with wanted something a little more upbeat. I was talking with another guy in our group and unbeknownst to us, the women in our group got up, started putting on their coats and clearly getting ready to leave.

I turned to my friend and said "oh, I guess we're leaving." I obviously said that rather loud, because the women at the other table all starting chimming in with comments. I don't remember them exactly, but they were comments like "Yea, just do as the women say", "good husband's, doing what their wives say", and "just go along with them, you'll be better off."

My wife heard their comments and gave me knowing smile. Rather funny.

Updates on how things are going will be coming soon!