Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Doing A Little More

Most people believe that in a FLR, the work done by the husband should be done for her enjoyment, regardless of whether the husband likes doing the work.

In the previous post, I noted that I gave her a pedicure. I actually like giving her pedicures. I don't mind cleaning the bathroom, or doing the dishes. But I dislike doing the laundry.

Many people question whether that is really being submissive. Is it being submissive to do something for someone else when the submissive derives great pleasure from doing the task? Wouldn't it be more of a FLR if I did all of the laundry, since it's the laundry I don't like doing?

Even before approaching her on this type of lifestyle, I already contributed very much to the household chores, despite working very long hours 5 days a week. So it's not as if I've gone from doing nothing to doing a whole lot. I can only do so much, however, with the time I have at home.

While there is no correct universal answer, for me, I've now made a concerted effort to do even more things, and doing more of the things that I do not like doing.

A couple of nights ago, she made a comment that she had to go clean the soup pot. (She had made soup for the kids and apparently the pot was still dirty. I did not know she had used the pot, or that it was dirty.) It was late at night, and I was really tired. I could have easily just not said anything, or not do anything, but instead I told her I would go clean it. She "you don't have to do that." I replied, "no, it's o.k., I'll go do it."

And even later on that night, she stated she was going downstairs to get a glass of water. I again jumped up and we ended up with a very similar exchange about soup pot.

We also talked about how the rest of the week was shaping up, all the stuff we had to do, etc. I made a mental note of what she said. One of those was vacuuming, so on Sunday, I began vacuuming. She expressed surprise that I was doing this. I think she said "You just decided to vacuum?"

While I would have much rather sat and watched football, that she noticed the effort and appreciate it, was much more rewarding.

I don't know if she fully grasps what is taking place though. Sure, she enjoys the extra help, the pedicures, manicures, getting her drinks etc., but I don't know if she's started to realize the depth of what is occurring. I hope, however, that these efforts will, little by little, lead to more involved FLR.

2 comments:

hersforever said...

That was a big step for me -- starting to take her subtle, note-to-self type statements and taking care of them for her. After a while she started to expect me to take her notes to herself and do as much of them as I can... after she started to pick up on it, she's started directly telling me them (although she is pleased when I do something that she mentions and doesn't specifically say for me to do).

appy said...

I try to serve my wife the same way you do. But sometimes she won't let me. Fortunately most of the times she enjoys my efforts to please her.