Thursday, December 30, 2010

That was Short

Last night, we played and she gave me a "release" (her words :)). Now, for someone desperately desiring chastity, having her give me a "release" only the third time we engaged in sexual relations would seem like a disappointment, but it was not.

Why? Well, because when we discussed chastity, it was not "put me in chastity for a month." It was "you get 100% complete control over all of my orgasms. I cannot have an orgasm without your permission. When and if I ever have an orgasm is completely up to you."

And that is what made the other night completely fine in my book. In explaining why she was giving me a release, she mentioned two things: first, she thoroughly enjoys giving me orgasms and that she's not going deprive herself of that pleasure; and 2) she could tell I was really really amped up.

Now, she was correct about the "amped" up part. While we had only really been doing this for a week, I had actually not had an orgasm for about a week and a half before that discussion. I had made a decision on my own to not masturbate anymore, only having orgasms when we engaged together, so there had been a period of time without any release on my part before she agreed. Once she agreed, of course I didn't have any releases. So, with the excitement of her agreeing to do this together and engaging in sexual relations without a release really had me going.

As for the night, it was great. Immediately upon getting into bed we went at it. I spent a long time on foreplay and then got her off on a rather intense orgasm. As soon as she was done, I scooted back up to her, hugged her and kissed her passionately and stated that I loved doing that for her and that I derived more pleasure doing that for her than having my own orgasms.

It was then that we talked a bit more and that was when she stated that despite that information, she would still be giving me releases because she liked doing that to me too much to not do it. Obviously, given my position, I can fully understand her feelings.

Which brought up the last issue that I wanted hammer home with her. I emphasized that she was in charge and so she could do whatever she wanted. She did not have to sit there and try to figure out how long I wanted to be chastity or whatever. She did not have to feel pressure to "release" me when she was not in the mood. If she was in the mood to release me at any time, way, shape or form, it was up to her. I believe she understands that and it will be interesting to see how it is implemented in the future.

I'm also very curious to see if she ever considers the situation over. Much like At All Times' situation with Jane, my wife is not one to ever really discuss these things on her own. She does not bring them up. I'm left to either bring them up or sit and wonder. I have lots of thoughts in my head that I want to tell her, but feel that I need to hold back for fear of pestering her, making it all about the sex etc. I do wonder whether she fully grasps the amount of control she does have and effect on it has on me.

Again, it is a slow process and I realize that everything has its time and place.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Things are going nicely

And slowly, but in a good way.

Since that night, there has been more intimacy, even just sitting on the couch together, instead of doing different things.

Monday night, I was unbelievably horny, but knew she was tired and not in the mood. In bed, I was pressed so close to her, just to be able to feel that contact. Nothing happened, but I definitely spooned her and kept touching her throughout the night. At one point, she told me to scoot away.

It was funny because out of the blue on Tuesday she sent an email saying that she knew what I was doing on Monday night and to stop it! She meant it in a playful, funny way and it was much appreciated.

This hasn't turned into a 24/7 tease and denial session and, of course, I never expected it to. We are still gradually engaging in this and it will be interesting to see where it goes.

From my perspective, it is going great though!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

It's Done

This is going to be a long post, so bear with me.

In my last post, I stated that I was planning on bringing her a rose and thanking her for Sunday night. Based on conversations we had later in the afternoon while I was still at work, bringing the rose was not going to be a good plan. I scrapped that idea.

Instead, on Monday night, I briefly and casually mentioned to her that I enjoyed Sunday night and left it that. She smiled and said she enjoyed it too. That was the end of the conversation. I wondered whether she truly understood that it was the full package of Sunday, as opposed to just and idea that we were intimate. There is a subtle difference in possible perception of Sunday night. On the one hand, I believe that almost all women in the world would like a night that occurred on Sunday. So, obviously, when she says she enjoyed it too, do I truly understand why she enjoyed it? Did she enjoy it because she was tired, got a massage, and had a great orgasm? Did she enjoy it because in addition to that, she did not have to reciprocate? Did she enjoy it because she actually got off on the idea of not doing anything sexual to me? Did she enjoy it because she knew I enjoyed it? Did she not really understand why I would like to have a night like that with her, thought it odd, but regardless, humored me because the result is long, sensual, relaxing, massage and then a great orgasm?

Communication is a funny thing. A simple comment between us wherein we both express happiness, but have we really communicated our feelings, desires, thoughts?

I was thinking all of these things on a deeper level, but on the surface, I did know that Sunday night touches and fulfills a deep need for me, and that she does enjoy that type of night too.

To put it bluntly, those are good things. I knew it was another slow step towards building a more intimate relationship between us. And that's the ultimate goal. I love this woman. In addition to that, I have these submissive tendencies in her presence, I have these kinks, and I have a desire to be more intimate with her. The term "intimate" does not mean sex. To me, it means more communication, more physical contact (regardless of sex), more playfulness and more quality time spent together.

"At all Times" suggested in my previous post that it might not be a good idea to bust out with a formal request for chastity after Sunday night. That was good advice, especially because the timing and situation was not right on Monday night. Showing her more and more about how and why Sunday night was great was a better idea.

But Tuesday brought forth an opportunity for me out of the blue. We had been emailing with each other throughout the day about day to day stuff. Then she emailed that a friend took our kids for a playdate, so she was excited to have free time to complete a bunch of errands and also get her nails done.

I responded that I was happy for her, especially getting to be able to run the errands without the kids. I also responded, though, "You don't have to get your nails done. You know that I love doing that for you. I understand the desire to be able to sit and have your nails done without the kids, so if that's what you want that's great. But I'd love to do them for you tonight."

Her response was "ok., maybe I won't get them done and have you do them tonight :)" I responded with "yea!!! That would make me very happy and I hope would make you very happy too."

Throughout the day, I never got confirmation one way or the other as to what happened. I did find out close to leaving work that we were going to be having a bunch of kids sleeping over, so I figured the nails wouldn't occur.

When I arrived home, there was a house full of kids (chaos - but good chaos - love those kids), and she was actually making dinner. As we talked, I noticed that her nails were done. They looked great on her. I didn't say anything. The kids had already eaten, so we sat down and had a nice meal together talking about everything. Near the end, I mentioned her nails and she told about this new place a friend had recommended that she wanted to try, it was with a different type of procedure and she was happy with them. I complimented her on nice they looked. She did mention, however, that she didn't get her toes done. She didn't mention whether she wanted me to do them, so it was just left hanging.

Fast forward a lot time and finally the kids were in beds and we were in our room watching tv. It was funny, because I still didn't really know whether she wanted me to do her toes. As we were sitting on the top of the covers, she took of her socks and sat there for a bit. I was about to offer to do her nails, but instead, she simply handed me a bottle of polish!

If you're reading my blog, then you'll understand - her simply taking off her socks and handing me the polish was phenomenal. I was immediately excited by her simple, silent, demand. It wasn't a demand, though. She didn't have to "order" me to do her nails. At the time she handed the polish to me, my heart leapt a bit, because it gave me the hope that maybe, just maybe, she was beginning to understand not only me, but also herself.

I talked about subtle differences before and it applies here. In my particular situation with her, prior attempts at discussing Femdom, being submissive, or BDSM or whatever, always led her have the repugnant vision of her being leather clad, wearing 6 inch thigh high boot, whip wielding, and calling me a worm. Not only is that not what I wanted, but also very clearly not what she ever wanted. Still, whenever the discussions began, that was her baseline, even if that's not what I was attempting to convey. Over the last year, I've made the concerted effort to convey that's not the situation.

So, the subtle difference her was, in our most recent discussions, and my most recent offer to do her nails, it led me to believe she understood it to be exactly what it represented. She could "demand" for me to do her nails, but she didn't have to do it as a leather clad Femdom. She could simply say, "I'd like my nails done tonight" and know that when this occurred, it would also make me very happy.

I spent the next 30 minutes or so, giving her feet the full procedure. Buffing the feet, applying the lotion on the feet, clipping the nails, and painting and polishing the feet. All the while we (well, mainly her) watched tv and talking to each other. Sublime.

Once finished, I cleaned everything up and got back in bed. Another 10 minutes or so went by. I was perfectly content and happy.

But then, she did something I never expected and still can't believe. And even as I think about it the day after, I still get excited and can't believe.

We were under the covers and she started to gently rub my thigh. Gradually she reached my groin and spent about 10 minutes lightly caressing, scratching and stroking me through my underwear. She never made any effort to do anything more. It was definitely light enough that it wouldn't ever bring me off, but highly enjoyable and maddening enough for me. I was literally panting and squirming. I cannot explain how phenomenal the feeling was or the thoughts that were flying through me head. I was almost thinking that she had somehow found this blog, or at least another WLM blog, or chastity blog or something because whether she knew it or not, she was making me insane.

Eventually she stopped and rolled on top of me and we kissed aggressively and passionately. I was fit to burst with her leisurely grinding on me. I could not take it any more. Sunday night, our conversations, the nails, what she was doing etc., I just could not hold back.

I began telling her how much I loved her, how much I enjoyed doing that for her on Sunday, how grateful I was that she let me do her nails and just watched in joy as she had a huge grin on her face. She enjoyed all of it too and I finally just took the plunge. I asked her if I could request something and, honestly, I think she knew. As weird as that sounds, I think she knew I was going to ask for "chastity." I explained how much we enjoyed doing it previously (albeit on a temporary basis), asked if she enjoyed it as much as I did, and asked her to have us engage in her complete control over all of my orgasms. That I could not masturbate anymore, that I could only have an orgasm whenever she said it was o.k. and that, of course, she could have as many orgasms as she wanted, whenever.

And she not only agreed, but was excited. Like this wasn't a weird request. Like she genuinely wanted to do it - for her and for us - not saying "yes" to the idea just because she wanted to placate me.

After we discussed it more and we talked about how she could have all of the orgasms she wanted, she said "so you've to work to do," and gently pushed me down. And when she was done, we spent time embracing and said it was time to sleep.

Can't even explain how happy I am right now. Best Christmas ever. I can't believe it.

I've refrained from drowning her lengthy discussions about it today. Last night, I told her how perfect it was and I absolutely don't want to suffocate her. I do not want her to think that now I'll be pestering her 24/7 about chastity or a WLM. I never even mentioned a device.

I have so many things I want to ask, want to do etc., but I have to thank all of the other blogs out there on these subjects, especially At all Times for not only their direct advice to me, but also the wisdom imparted in their own blogs. Without that information, I'm sure I would have screwed this up a long long time ago.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Follow Up

It was a very long weekend, but in a good way. Lots of time spent with friends and family in festive settings, having a blast. We got home late both nights and were exhausted, so there was no playing, but we had been flirting with each other both nights.

Sunday night was no different with another party. We arrived home early, though, and were in bed by 9:00, with us both reading the Sunday paper. I was horny (as usual), but also knew how tired she was and that she really wanted to relax a little, read the paper, and go to bed.

Undaunted, but with a plan, I began touching her, lightly giving her kisses and received the response that I was expecting: she said "Really? I'm just so tired."

"Don't worry, you'll enjoy it, and you won't have to do anything." She looked at me, smirked, giving me the go-ahead, but I could tell she was still a little reluctant.

I manuevered her to be lying on her back and spent a long time just kissing and caressing her. Little nibbles on the neck. Gentle stroking of her face and eventually moving to her breasts. Long time spent on her stomach and breasts, all the while keeping her clothes on (it's cold out there!). She was thoroughly enjoying the attention and completely relaxing, allowing me to do everything.

Moving to my next plan, I removed her shirt, pants and underwear and then made her lie down face first. Clearly confused, she remarked "what are you doing now?" "You'll see," I said.

Once she was on her stomach, I began to give her a massage on her shoulders and back. She definitely enjoyed that for the 15 minutes I did on her shoulders, arms, and back. I then spent about 10 minutes massages her legs and caressing her legs and back.

I had accomplished everything I had hoped by that point - she was very relaxed, happy and aroused. Turning her back over, I then gently and slowly brought her to a strong orgasm with my mouth and hands. It wasn't fast and hard - more like a long, slow build up right till the end.

It took her some time to recover and I tried to start again, but was denied. She noted that she was still buzzing and completely content. We hugged and kissed more and after a couple of minutes, she reached for me and gently stroked.

We are not engaged in any time of chastity or orgasm denial. So, I assume she would have just continued. But, that wasn't the point. The point (for me) was that prior to starting all this, I had told her she didn't have to do anything. More importantly, I wanted again to show her a) that I thoroughly enjoyed doing this for her without any need for immediate reciprocation; and b) that this denial is enjoyable.

So I stopped her, explaining that wasn't necessary. I helped dress her again and had her lay her head on my chest, drapped around me and let her fall asleep.

Honestly - that night is the type of love making I enjoy, even more so than just kissing her for a bit, whiping the clothes off and plunging into her and being done in 5 minutes.

So, now, the next step. I am going to bring roses to her tonight, with a note, thanking her for last night. Depending on how the conversation goes after giving her the flowers, I may broach the subject of full time chastity. She'll have the kids all day today, so I never know what type of day it will be for her. She may be completely frazzled, but we'll see.

Gonna make it difficult to wait till the end of the day.

Thursday, December 16, 2010


I am finding that the more and more I get stressed at work, the more and more I am obsessing about approaching her with the request for full blown chastity, with a device. Not sure if it is directly related to the stress, or just a normal ebb and flow of my desires.

It also has led to me wonder I am have not yet approached her with the formal request. I'm not afraid of what she'll think of me. She is acutely aware that I'm very kinky. This will not come as a shock to her. Sarah Jameson's blog (, and others, have mentioned the unsuspecting vanilla wife being overwhelmed, shocked and appalled by the bomb being dropped on her out of the blue. As anyone who has read the majority of my own blog, that will not be the case for her.

In fact, for the last year, I have made it a point to slowly introduce things to her to make the more and more the norm than the "weird" thing. If a woman has never had a man eat her creampie before, the first time it occurs can be a huge range of emotions and thoughts. Shock, turned-on, feeling dirty, etc. But, if that same woman has a man who did it the first time, then did it every time from that point forward, that woman would feel the creampie eating was normal after a while.

I think I've succeeded in my introduction of various things with her that if I requested one day that we engage in permanent chastity, should would not be shocked, appalled or overwhelmed.

So why the delay? Probably boils down to the fact that I believe I have only one chance, one shot, to broach the subject to her and get a yes. And what I mean by that is a "yes" with an actual, conscious effort on her part to engage in the chastity together. Just putting on a device, with no change in her behavior at all would not be rewarding for either of us.

So I've been trying to figure out the right way to approach her, when to approach her, how much to tell her, what details to say, etc. But, as I said before, the more and more stressed I am getting at work (all time high), the more and more I'm wanting to just blurt it all out as we are sitting watching Glee or something. It's been maddening.

And with holidays, it seems like every day/night there is something new. My office party, her holiday get together she does with her friends every year, friends visiting, friends Holiday party, house issues, kids sports........ Just never ending.

I laugh, sometimes think that I'll just walk up to her at one of our parties, hand her a little key and whisper "honey, I've locked my penis into a metal chastity device and am giving you this key. I hope you will enjoy controlling all of my orgasms and don't worry, I will satisfy you sexually in all ways you deem proper during this time" and be done with it. Yea, I know, I'll never do that, because it wouldn't work, but still.

And now, back to work.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Daily Viewing

I can't go a more than a couple of days without being tempted to view this tumblr:

It's phenomenal.

And of course, here's a great photo from there:

I doubt I really need to point out why this photo is so alluring to me - books/panties/key. Wow

Thursday, December 2, 2010


Does anyone know why I posted this one?

You might have to click on the photo to figure out why