Last night, we played and she gave me a "release" (her words :)). Now, for someone desperately desiring chastity, having her give me a "release" only the third time we engaged in sexual relations would seem like a disappointment, but it was not.
Why? Well, because when we discussed chastity, it was not "put me in chastity for a month." It was "you get 100% complete control over all of my orgasms. I cannot have an orgasm without your permission. When and if I ever have an orgasm is completely up to you."
And that is what made the other night completely fine in my book. In explaining why she was giving me a release, she mentioned two things: first, she thoroughly enjoys giving me orgasms and that she's not going deprive herself of that pleasure; and 2) she could tell I was really really amped up.
Now, she was correct about the "amped" up part. While we had only really been doing this for a week, I had actually not had an orgasm for about a week and a half before that discussion. I had made a decision on my own to not masturbate anymore, only having orgasms when we engaged together, so there had been a period of time without any release on my part before she agreed. Once she agreed, of course I didn't have any releases. So, with the excitement of her agreeing to do this together and engaging in sexual relations without a release really had me going.
As for the night, it was great. Immediately upon getting into bed we went at it. I spent a long time on foreplay and then got her off on a rather intense orgasm. As soon as she was done, I scooted back up to her, hugged her and kissed her passionately and stated that I loved doing that for her and that I derived more pleasure doing that for her than having my own orgasms.
It was then that we talked a bit more and that was when she stated that despite that information, she would still be giving me releases because she liked doing that to me too much to not do it. Obviously, given my position, I can fully understand her feelings.
Which brought up the last issue that I wanted hammer home with her. I emphasized that she was in charge and so she could do whatever she wanted. She did not have to sit there and try to figure out how long I wanted to be chastity or whatever. She did not have to feel pressure to "release" me when she was not in the mood. If she was in the mood to release me at any time, way, shape or form, it was up to her. I believe she understands that and it will be interesting to see how it is implemented in the future.
I'm also very curious to see if she ever considers the situation over. Much like At All Times' situation with Jane, my wife is not one to ever really discuss these things on her own. She does not bring them up. I'm left to either bring them up or sit and wonder. I have lots of thoughts in my head that I want to tell her, but feel that I need to hold back for fear of pestering her, making it all about the sex etc. I do wonder whether she fully grasps the amount of control she does have and effect on it has on me.
Again, it is a slow process and I realize that everything has its time and place.