Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Tuesday Night

This is going to be a long post because so much happened Tuesday night, so hang on.

On Tuesday during the day, I sent my wife a rather long email, trying to accomplish several things. I wanted to convey how much I appreciated her openness to this type of change/dynamic in our relationship. I tried to explain to her a little more what I get out of her being in control. But, more importantly, I wanted to ask her how she was feeling and if she was enjoying it.

It's a fine line, but I wanted to know if she was doing all of this just for me, or if she was truly enjoying being the Dom. I think that when it's the guy who approaches the woman with the idea of a Femdom relationship, or at least a Femdom relationship in the bedroom, there is always a danger of the woman engaging in that behavior only for the guy. Meaning, because she loves the guy and wants to make him happy, she engages in the event. But she's doing it predominately for the guy, not for her own unique enjoyment! My email tried to ask this delicate question.

I was curious about this because she knows that I have strong Cross-Dressing desires and she does not necessarily enjoy it. At least, she hasn't in the past. She doesn't mind it in small doses, but when it gets too much, she does not like it. Since she recently required me to wear panties to bed, to wear the Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer and shave, I began to wonder whether she was making me do these things only because she knew I'd like them, not necessarily because she liked them. I explained I did not want this to turn into a situation where I was driving everything and she just tolerated our play.

I had actually hesitated to sending the email in the first place because she has made it very clear that our situation would not be a 24/7 relationship. She made it clear that it would not impact our day to day lives, that she'd do it when she wanted to, that it would not be every night etc. I did not want to make it seem as if I was pressing the issue and making our relationship all about this.

So, I sent that email and then............I received no reply. I sent it early in the day, and was waiting to get some kind of reply, whether good or bad. Now I was really worried, because I figured I blew it. I thought that she was pissed. We actually conversed via email about some other things after I had sent my long email, and there wasn't one mention of the long email. Then I began to worry that I had accidentally sent it to someone else! Needless to say, I was kind of a wreck on the way home.

When I got home, though, she was in a good mood. Cherry, in fact. She had a meeting to go to, so she starting telling me about what homework the kids had to do, what they ate for dinner, things about the pet, her day etc. I was relieved because I didn't think she was mad about the email, but then I actually started to think that I had sent the email to someone else!

We were talking in the kitchen about all of this stuff and then her face lit up and said "Oh, and thank you soooo much for emptying the dishwasher and doing the other dishes last night. I woke up this morning dreading doing that and I was so happy to see it done so I could enjoy my coffee." I sheepishly smiled, beaming inside, and she came over, grabbed my head in her hands and gave me a big kiss. With that, she said she had to go and left.

That exchange left me feeling great about myself and us, but still wondering whether she had received my email and what she thought about it! I still didn't know. She was gone for two hours. In that time, I cleaned up much more of the house, finished homework with the kids, and got them all in bed. I spent the remainder of the time trying to fix the computer.

It was about 9:00 when she got home and I had just started watching the 25 Most Sexiest Sci-Fi Women (Wonder Woman was #1 - a good choice I'd say.) When she came home, one of the kids woke up, so she went straight to the kids room. By the time I got there, she was already done, and going to the bathroom. While in the bathroom, she looked over at me, gave me a smile and said "I need a glass of wine, please."

I said "yes" to her and went to get her wine. That statement from her made me very happy. It led me to believe that she embracing, wanting and becoming Dominate. It was the words she chose and the way she said it that made my heart skip. It was her, not some way she thought a Dom would act. She wasn't "Role Playing" at being a Dominatrix. She wasn't pretending. She didn't try to be something she isn't and say something cheesy or fake like "Your Mistress demands you bring her wine, you worthless little pig." Instead, even though she used the word please, it was not said as if she was asking me to do her a favor. It was a demand. It was said with the knowledge that, becuase of our new relationship, I would immediately do as told. The thing that was so incredibly sexy to me was that it was her, my wife, the woman I was in love with, just more Dominate.

There is much more that happened on Tuesday night. Much more. It was a very interesting and wonderful evening. I'll definitely continue, but it will have to be later.

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