My last post was "this happened last night." The events described in this post happened that same night, which brought a little bit of more understanding in my situation.
Long story short - we made love, with me getting the release. It was initiated by her and all very good. The more interesting part was that afterward, she brought up the tease and denial issue on her own. She just began talking about how she does understand the whole denial thing when I describe what I like about it, but that she also still has a little bit of a guilt type reaction in doing the denial. This was not said in any negative fashion, more of a description of what she feels.
She likes the tease and denial, likes doing it, and likes it when she finally brings me off because of how much I react. It's the reaction she can elicit from me, both in the teasing part, but also the ending part!
The part I'm not describing well is what she talked about regarding the "guilt" or "feeling bad" in the denial part. I'm not describing it well because it's not something that bothers her. She has no negative reaction in general to the whole thing, it's just that she still does feel a little "bad" about denying me. I assured her that if she ever teased and then denied me, I would never ever get mad at her and that I would in fact love it. She emphatically stated she knew that and understood that.
The good thing, of course, is that she continues to enjoy doing it and I do believe that it will continue. I would like it to be more frequent and more permanent, but I understand that for right now I should be very happy with what she is comfortable with. Maybe as the years go by it will become more natural for her and she will not have the guilt part at all, but we'll see.
She is going away this weekend. I am trying to decide whether to request being put in the device while she is gone. As with everything with her on that front, I'll have to be careful when to bring it up, if at all. She really has to be in the "mood" to increase the chances of a positive reaction. When I say in the mood, I don't mean a sexual mood. I mean in a good mood: she is happy with me, happy with us, and the kids haven't been driving her crazy. I'll try my best to make all of that happen, to see if she is willing to do it.