Monday, July 18, 2011

Hiatus is Over - Chastity Worked!!!! (Sort of)

I missed writing. A million things happened from my last post to the ones that will follow.

Ultimately, the explanation for my absence is due to a) death in the family; b) two marriages in the family; c) work (of course) and d) some crazy good and crazy bad stuff with my wife.

Details of the events are worthy reading and will be forthcoming, but they will be only focused on the interactions between my wife and I.

Giving a shortcut of the results of everything that has happened from May to the present, we've gone from engaging in the use of a chastity device (YES!!! FINALLY!!!! She was much more receptive that I had ever imagined) to having marital problems and then to now. Now, we are both on the same ground, both committed to each other, both in love with each other..........but with residual issues that prevent me from proclaiming complete happiness in the marriage. That last sentence doesn't mean to imply that we are unhappy in the marriage, just that time will be required before we are back where we were before.

The following, then, has already happened. I'll try to describe the things that were going through my mind when they occurred, but the results and issues have already occurred. So, while reading, I guess the spoiler is that other than the first time, we have not used the device since. In that respect, it didn't work. On the other hand, as you'll read below, it did work.

I had been desiring to get to use a chastity device for a long time. The self imposed chastity was o.k., but it didn't bring an outward interest from her, which is often the case. (I actually agree with Susan's Pet, mostly, on the types of reactions women will have and my situation is a common one, I expect.)

I knew that if I explained what a chastity device was, or tried showing it to her on the internet, that would be a turn off for her. It's the weirdness of it that would bring out a natural aversion reaction. Therefore, I purchased a CB-6000 (got it cheap) and figured it would be a good starter/play piece. I never expected it to be a 24/7 thing.

I purchased it well in advance of her taking a girls trip out of town. My plan was to present it to her before she left, locking me in it while she was out of town. I'm sure that anyone who is actually interested in my blog understands the attractiveness, from the male point of view, of that situation.

Once it arrived, I actually wore it to work several days, without her knowledge. I figured I had better know what it feels like and if I could handle it before I presented it to her. This was done in stealth. She never knew. I'd put it on at work and then take it off before coming home.

This was an incredible turn on, even though I could remove it at any time. It definitely fueled the fantasy. It was very good thing that I used the device before presenting it to her, because it did take many different experiments with the spacers and ring to find the size that wasn't too restrictive that it hurt too badly, but also not loose enough where I could pull it out.

The erections were definetely painfull........but for me, it was a delicious pain. Loved feeling locked. I enjoyed having it locked away. My time in it by myself was such a turn on for me, that I couldn't wait to see if she would actually like it.

I kept wanting to show her or tell her, but kept chickening out. I've done kinky stuff with her before, but I really feared I was going way out on the ledge with this one. There were nights that I had promised myself to bring it up and the mood was not right, so I didn't.

Push came to shove, however, on the night before she left. It was "now or never." She was going to be gone for more than 4 days, so we did spend a lot of time together that night. Finally, as we were getting ready to go to bed, I took the plunge.

I told her that it was going to be a tough time with her gone, because I'd miss her, but also because usually when she left like that, I'd masturbate while she was gone. She immediately said "you can masturbate." In my own head, that was a bad thing and didn't "bode" well for my planned major step, because it indicated to me that she didn't embrace the "denial" idea.

Then I told her I bought something and her reaction was similar to previous things. She got sort of an incredulous "what the heck is he going to spring on me now?" look. She never gets upset, grossed out necessarily, or whatever, it's just that she has no idea what major, new, odd, interesting thing is going to happen. So when I told her I bought something, I'm sure she was thinking it was some sort of sex toy for me to use on her or something.

We went upstairs and I told her I wanted to wear a chastity device while she was gone and I showed it to her. She didn't understand it or embrace it. Even looking it, she had no idea what I was talking about. She was laughing (not in a mocking way) and still listening though, so that was a good thing! She was not freaked out, so I figured this was going much better than I had thought it would!

I ended up having to show her how it worked (not actually putting it on yet)and telling her what it was and what it would do, and what I couldn't do with it on. Again, she kept just shaking her head, but in a good way. She took it remarkably well - which was a positive sign to me that she's getting very comfortable with the craziness I embrace. That old saying "It's only kinky the first time" really is true. The more you talk, the more you, the more normal it becomes.

As I was trying to explain the idea of what it did, she did say the normal reaction things like "does it hurt", "I'd never want anything like that on me," "I can't believe you'd want that," and "I have no idea why you'd want that." These didn't bother me, because I never envisioned or thought she'd immediately understand and grasp the concept immediately. She never did show revulsion to me and was even funny, because she apologized to my penis, saying that she "wasn't doing this to you" etc.

When I was explaining stuff to her, and gave her key, she would say things like "what happens if they see this little key, am I supposed to tell them its because my husbands cock is locked up" which immediately sent my cock straigt up. I didn't have it on yet, and kept telling her to stop saying stuff like that. She was laughing at this situation, finding it amusing.

I know this sounds odd, but while she was very accepting, not grossed out, and was laughing about it, I could also tell that she didn't really understand it and she was definitely not turned on about it. And by that, I mean she wasn't excited about it from her point of view.

I did put it on and she spent time checking it out. We engaged in other playful banter and that that night she did play with it a little, with me in it, but nothing special. No verbal statements about it, no further discussion about it and nothing special. I did end up bringing her off (when I was in the device), and that was a more turn on for me. I was straining it, big time, and it was tight tight tight. It was super hot for me.

But, afterward, she went to sleep and she didn't even mention anything about it. That's what made me think that she wasn't really that turned on by the situation.

She left the next morning, not mentioning it, and never mentioned it the entire weekend. We communicated a lot over the weekend, texts here and there, about stuff she was doing, I was doing, other stuff. It was very fun. But.....she never mentioned it once.

It was a long time she was gone. I didn't want to be the one to bring it up, instead waiting for her. It was disappointing that it was never mentioned.

For my own response to being in it for that long of time - it was great. I enjoyed it. It also hurt and I couldn't clean it well. No matter what I did to clean it with soap and water in the shower, I couldn't scrub everything in there, and then I couldn't dry it, so I could tell it wasn't getting clean. As a 24/7 thing, I knew it would never work. I would have to be let out each morning to clean/dry, then put back in for the rest of the day.

It also hurt around the skin around the testicles. It didn't hurt otherwise, but sitting down, there was as stretching/rubbing that was not good. I could sit certain ways to lessen that, which I did and helped. As a sexual turn-on, however, it was off the charts great. I loved it.

On the day she was coming home, but while she was still there, she did text "Are you ready for 'freedom' tonight. :)" It was the first mention and I immediately got hard. I couldn't figure out what to text in response. I didn't want to go overly excited, but wanted to convey to her that the text was something I craved and hoped she liked. I ended up responding "I'd love freedom. I'd love you doing whatever you want to do. But I'd also love you teasing and denying me - making me stay in longer. Thanks for the text too. Had an immediate 'impact' on me. :)"

Sadly, she never responded that text!

I'll update what happened when she got home later.


m said...

give her time. you might be surprise when everything sinks in to her system.
be open with her in exploring things together if she is amenable to it.

check my blog

kelmag said...

I agree with M, give her time to accept it in an unpressured environment. Let her experience the benefits of male chastity (especially controlling when sex occurs) and your better attitude and devotion to her and she may come around. Be prepared for it to take months for her to get comfortable with it and start to take the initiative in some things. Your description of your initial showing of the device reminded me of my experience (see We have come a long way as a couple since then and she has become much more accepting and willing to play some games. Our sex life has improved about 10,000 percent and she knows and appreciates it. She doesn't understand it at all but she has accepted that it is important to me. Best advice is to be consistent and a little subtle in demonstrating the benefits of the lifestyle and the use of the device.

sub cuckhubby said...

The more I hear from other husbands, the more lucky I feel about how my wife responded. I guess my wife was always very possessive of me, so she loved the idea of having "her" property locked up.

Of course, in the beginning she said the normal things like "I'd hate to be denied like that" or "I don't know how you do it", but as she saw my transformation into a man who only wanted to pamper her, she began to fully understand the benefits of chastity.

Robert_Anthony said...

I never have got as far as actually being locked, but I have been surprised how quickly my Mistress accepted my desire to be controlled by her, and in the space of well under a year she has gone from 'not interested' to 28 days of denial for me. You just have to be patient and show her the benefits.

At all Times said...

Mr AO – thanks for sharing your experience, and well done for braving it out and showing your wife the chastity device.

I bought my CB6000 about a month ago now, and agree that whilst playing with it alone is sort of fun, it cannot compare to what it must be like with a willing partner.

Like you, I would be nervous about my wife’s reaction to seeing the CB6000 and suspect very much like your wife, she would tolerate but with a great deal of indifference. In many ways, I think that showing indifference is their way of saying, “I don’t really like this, it does nothing for me, but if you really must, I am going to ignore it”. Having said that, there is still ever chance that given time your wife will come round to maybe enjoying the effect that wearing the device has on you.

You can’t do much else other than to see what happens, see if your wife begins to want you to use the device or is happy to tease you and leave you in it for longer.

Will look forward to see how things develop.

Good Luck

LoveWife said...

Looking forward to part-2 of your story, hopefully you getting the courage up to approach your wife on this topic wasn't all in vain?

Giles English said...

Perfect. You didn't make a big thing of it, and she took it for granted in a vanilla sort of way.

I think you should continue to avoid dumping a whole load of BDSM culture on her, and try not to give her the sense of things slipping. The Stanford Effect will do the rest.