Chastity

I haven't been able to get to updating what happened Thursday night. Mainly, it's because a lot happened.

So, before I update Thursday night, I wanted to address my own experience so far with Chastity. (That's somewhat of a spoiler, because that means it didn't happen on Thursday night!)

This is officially the longest I've gone being denied by my wife. And, since I've never been involved in any "denial" games, it's the longest I've ever gone in my life, because I could always masturbate before.

So it's been interesting to me to see how my responses/feelings have evolved over this long period of denial. (At least long for me. I know others have gone much much longer.)

It's tough to explain what I've been feeling because one description is not all encompassing. I've felt sexual frustration, anxiety, desire, inability to concentrate, huge desire for my wife, and continual wondering when it will end. Those feelings increased and intensified day by day.

Initially, I believed that it would keep increasing every day until the end. But, a funny thing happened at about 2 weeks. At two weeks, the feelings, while still very strong, started to lower. I mean, they weren't as intense. While they lowered, they were still more intense than they were at day 1 or 2 into Chastity. Thinking of it as a graph with intensity on the vertical line and time on the horizontal line, it was a steady increase, then a plateau at week 2 weeks, then a decrease about a quarter of the way down, and then a long steady straight line plateau. It's like a calm set in.

It's still intense, but not all encompassing now. It's like a new normal, and it got me to thinking that this is the new normal that I would want forever. Not that I want to be denied forever. But I would like for the control to be hers, so that I would be at this level of intense in our relationship. Where she becomes more and more Dominate, where she enjoys it to the point where she comes to the realization that this would be the norm she wants. Where she would enjoy the Femdom aspect and doesn't do it only when we are doing the "game", but that it's how we interact.

I'm not at all optimistic that this where it will end up, but we'll see. It's not like I'm expecting her to go from rather vanilla to hardcore kink in a matter of a month or two.

Good thing is that we're together for the long haul, we have an extremely strong loving relationship already and it's a great sign she was open to try this in the first place!