Wednesday, January 6, 2010

My Chastity Experience

There are much better blogs devoted to the concept of Chastity, including the incredible denyingthumper. This entry will be focused on my own specific experience with Chastity, short as it is.

The Chastity practiced between my wife and I is purely on the honor system. We have no Chastity devices. We are not yet there in our relationship to suggest, let alone implement, a chastity device. How do I know? She's uncomfortable even using the word! As mentioned in a previous post, when I stated that I was in now in Chastity, she thought it was funny and said something like "chastity.....where do you learn to talk like this." I explained that was the name, and even asked how else I should describe it, but was just told that it sounded funny.

She's clearly not experienced enough with it for it be second nature. The common quote is, "it's only kinky the first time you do it." I hope that the more we practice Chastisty, the more comfortable she'll be with the concept in general, and then we can graduate to actual devices.

But, right now, she doesn't really the understand concept. Sure, I've explained, and she hears what I say, but she does not truly understand the excitement of being teased and denied or the thrill of giving up control to her. And, she harbors feelings of guilt for not giving release sooner. She explained that she ends up feeling bad if she doesn't get around to allowing me to cum for long periods of time. I believe what she really means is that her libido is much lower than mine, and she can go a long time on her own without sexual interaction and she feels bad because she knows I'd much rather have sex sooner than her.

That is a valid concern on her part, and from what I can tell, a common issue for women who are engaging in this at the urging of their husbands. Of course, I assured her that as long as the denial was a part of her active Femdom work, it was perfectly o.k. with me.

So, for the time being, a device will not be forthcoming. Introducing a complicated, even painful looking, device on my genitals, all with the threat of the children seeing it, will be too much for her, especially based upon her expressed bewilderment on the concept. Also, having to take it off to clean or dealing with it on a semi-regular basis will make her feel as if it is dominating (no pun intended) our lives.

Whether we ever get to the point where she truly enjoys it, enjoys seeing me in a chastity device, and enjoys teasing me with the key, is something that will be far into the future. Who knows, maybe by the end of the year she'll be more and more comfortable with the idea of chastity in general and the device specifically.


whatevershesays said...

You bring up the most important part of any marriage/relationship and that is finding what works for the both of you and not following some "sterotype."

Good luck in the new year.

Another One said...

Thanks WSS. Looking forward to it. It's weird, but I feel like I've been trying this WLM for an extremely long time, but I have to realize that, for her, it all started with the first game. The first "game" was in October of last year. It's been only three months! Crazy.

At all Times said...

You say,"She harbors feelings of guilt for not giving release sooner. She explained that she ends up feeling bad if she doesn't get around to allowing me to cum for long periods of time." I think that you have defined what for many wives, must be part of the problem with trying to introduce any form of Orgasm Management. No matter how much you explain or ask for this, I still think that many wives can't accpet that by denial thay are gifting their husbands what they actually want, and do not appreciate that allowing their husbands to orgasm each time they make love has for some now become almost a disappointment.

Having said that I do sometimes think that we submissive husbands do underestimate the fulfillment and enjoyment our wives get from seeing us or thinking that they have satisfied our need to orgasm. But that's the problem, making them understand that denial is nearly if sometimes not better for their husband than an orgasm itself.

countrylefty said...

Yes my wife said the word chastity once that I can remember. I said I want something for Christmas that is fun, and she suggested a chastity device but said she knew I already own one device, but she doesn't even ask to use it on me.
So I'm not sure why she brough it up. I guess shes a slow learner when it comes to flm. Even though she is very smart!!!!

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