Monday, January 18, 2010


So, I wish I could be posting re-counts of wonderful Femdom sex, of at least an increase of play fullness, or other type of Femdom aspect.

Unfortunately, that hasn't occurred. Everything has been extremely vanilla, including a little sex. After a party this weekend, it happened, without any mention from either of us about the Game. Technically, I was supposed to be in Chastity until the Game was completed, but in the course of it, I made the decision to not mention that to her. I was more curious to find out if she was going to stop it on her own, or, really, just to see what she'd do. She made no mention before or after, and it was clear that she finished me on purpose.

We didn't discuss it at all afterward, again, a decision on my part. It's a fine line between pushing the idea on her all the time, which results in annoying her, and a leaving it alone, which may lead to a cease of all Femdom activities.

What's sorta funny is the fact that while I have been doing a lot more around the house and other things for her, she appreciates it, but it does not translate into anything else. Doing more than my normal share of housework gets noticed, but it's not like she's willing (so far) to exchange increased housework or other services for a more Femdom existence.

Not going to give up because I've made progress. Hopefully it has a happy ending.


At all Times said...

In my experience, trading domestic chores, for kinky sex just does not work. You may find that it does, so good luck, but if you are anything like me, you will only find true happiness once your wife has accept her position and control she has over you. In order for this to happen you have got to give her a reason to enjoy it, to want to encourage you more, and to enjoy being in control. Just doing jobs around the house won’t work, you have to make her feel special and begin to enjoy seeing the effect she has over you, and just what she can expect you to do for her.

Anonymous said...

This lifestyle is a complex form of communication. Before you and your spouse fluently speak this second language you need to perfect 'Couple's Communication 101'. You mentioned several times in this post how you and your love didn't communicate for one reason or another. It's one thing to nag, but is there really a good reason why two people shouldn't talk to one another?

Learn to communicate openly and succinctly in ways that won't annoy her. Invite her to speak to you about all things personal to her. Learn from each other, learn about each other, level the playing field, then follow her lead and trust what she's told you.

Every female led relationship is as different as women's personalities are different. The FLR you may experience will be uniquely your wife's interpretation of the lifestyle. If she wishes to pursue a FLR let her do so on her terms, at her speed, and let her find her rewards in doing so. Otherwise, she may feel second-best to your interpretation of an FLR and drop the whole thing.

Another suggestion would be to read literature with her regarding the lifestyle. Some popular titles include 'Uniquely Rika', 'Around Her Finger', and 'Sexual Power for Women' by Georgeann Cross.

Lastly, if you haven't already, lay yourself bare before your wife and entrust her with all your secrets. Let her know how, as a submissive, it's so important that she give you some modicum of attention and recognition as you serve her from day to day. Educate her and let her know that you aren't doing chores just to be helpful, but as a sign of loving sacrifice for her. In other words, let her know how important it is to you to have her complete the circle by complimenting your submissive gestures with her dominant replies.

THEN you two will be speaking the same language.

countrylefty said...

I feel for you and understand your dilemma. I can tell you what I keep saying to myself keep at it, and be patient. Good luck!