Tuesday, January 15, 2013


I have been gone for way too long.  My wife and I are still very much in love.  But I'm sure more people (if they still exist) are interested in the WLM aspect, as opposed to whether we are still in "love."

First, there is an explanation for why I've been absent from the blog.  That explanation is that I found that I was spending wayyyyyyyyyy too much time thinking about the WLM concept, which was making me focus on the male centric, pornographic, fantasy desires as opposed to focusing on her.  My thoughts were being clouded by the desire for the CB-6000, creampie eating, being spanked etc., instead of focusing on our actual, real relationship.

I began coming home from work so desirous for a hardcore WLM that when she did not perform anything in  the sexual arena, from her own desire, I became sullen and resentful.  Most of the time, this was not communicated to her, but that almost made it worse.  If there are any actual women out there who are reading this blog because they are searching for information on the subject after their husbands/boyfriends expressed an interest, they are probably nodding their heads knowingly.

What I realized was that I needed to focus more on just us having fun together and taking the WLM aspect in stride, whenever it did occur.  I had tried to get her interested in "demanding" a massage from me, making me pamper her by painting her toenails or something similar.  I have to realize, however, that while I may enjoy those things, it is obviously not important to her.  If it's not important to her, then why should I continually force the subject?  It seemed as if when I did the toenails, she would enjoy it in the moment, but then I was always left to wonder whether she was enjoying it solely because she knew I enjoyed it?!??!  It was a vicious circle.

Instead, I realized that I should take the opportunities whenever they arose.  I offer to do things for her and/or just do things I know she will like.  For example - many times when I come home from work, her pajamas are on the tub in the master bathroom.  Many times, I would leave them there, or put them in the hamper.  Since she wears them multiple nights in a row, I now take them and fold them nicely and put them on bed.  She has certainly noticed and commented several times on how nice that is (she even said it's like being at a really nice restaurant when you get up to go to the bathroom and you come back and your napkin is nicely folded again on your chair.)

My point is that my focus now is on her and specifically things I know she likes.  I fix everything in the house.    I have made sure to do the home improvements I know she wants, but has not asked me to do.  That's the thing.  She doesn't ask or demand.  Nor does she want to.  She would never feel comfortable demanding that I paint her nails.

That doesn't mean we aren't in a WLM.  I'm much more focused on her and her needs and wants.  She truly appreciates everything.  It's actually kind of funny, because from her point of view, if I ever do approach her on a more "traditional" WLM, I think her answer would be "I have it great right now.  Why should I change it?  The only thing I'd end up doing more of is sexual things you like and I don't particularly enjoy."

She doesn't want to feed me my own cum.  She doesn't like dildos or vibrators.  She enjoys G spot orgasms (though I can't get her to squirt), so I recently purchased a G-Spot vibrator.  I used it on her a couple of nights ago and she was not impressed.  She stated that she would much rather have me inside her, instead of some plastic.  She's said that before.  So I won't be using the vibrator on her anymore.  It also means that she'll never want to put me in chastity cage and make me fuck her with a strap-on.

Don't get me wrong.  I wish we were more simpatico on those sexual activities.  It is somewhat disappointing that she is not interested.  On the other hand, I do get great satisfaction, and so does she, when I do things that help her and make her happy.  Making coffee for her in the a.m. so that she has it ready before she leaves.  Emailing dinner ideas and recipes.  Going shopping for her.  Doing the dishes after work.  Do P90X with her because that's what she wants to do.

Probably not the most interesting post but I think I'm living more of a WLM now than I had previously thought, despite the lack of femdom sexual activity.  And I believe that we are both happy.


I'm-Hers said...

congrats on arriving at the place you find yourself. I so understand your frustration with wanting to feel submissive and her dominant but wouldn't you agree in hindsight that this is the place where you hoped you'd end up? She's in charge and you know it. She may not act it but she never wants to leave 'that place'. She loves you where you are. She loves knowing she has you. She loves your service, your efforts, your attention - even if she doesn't get all kinky on you.

I find my self in your same shoes - I'm living the practical service submissive life while being owned by a woman that is just as mild mannered and normal as yours. I hope to follow you more closely in the future and glad to have found your post. It so applies to my life.

Anonymous said...

Great post..I also am in a FLR similar to yours.... We have a wonderful relationship but it is more on her terms and I think that is what a FLR is all about anyway....