Sensual Pegging

This post is more geared towards sex in general - and nothing really in particular to my situation.

There is a great tumblr called Sensual Pegging. The link is http://sensualpegging.tumblr.com. The "goal" of that tumblr is "Sensual, loving pegging from a non-BSDM perspective, via a guy who really loves it. Images, video and Q&A about pegging, as well as beautiful women showing off their gear. Kinky, but not TOO kinky."

The thing I like about the site is that it does present the pegging aspect from loving relationships - not necessarily the "pain" that much of the other strap-on porn does. Usually, you see sites like "men in pain" or "girls abuse guys" etc. While both presentations are worthy, it's just that it seems the humiliation, aggressive, and almost non-consensual ones play into the stereotype about pegging that turns both vanilla men and women off.

The "sensual pegging" site recently posted the picture below.



I agree with everything written in that picture. But I found the heading to be way too limited. That heading should read "What straight men AND women need to know about Pegging." The vast majority of vanilla straight women who hear about pegging immediately freak out. They think the guy is gay. They lose respect for him.

If pegging is not your thing, that's fine. But if your lack of desire is solely due to the fact that mainstream society tells you it's not o.k. to like it, well I humbly suggest rethinking that position.

Lull

Shouldn't come as a surprise because of all the stuff that happens during December, but there has been a serious lull in anything WLM in or out of the bedroom. I've tried to stop her from doing work around the house, but she's relentless. I think part of the issue is that she's at home with the kids while I'm at work and she can a lot done before I get home.

Still, what has this done to me? It's making me ache for service and submissive. I'm desiring it more and more. I've been wearing panties and using some of the Champagne Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer at work to try to satisfy the urges, but it's not the same. Especially since it's not ordered by her. I'm doing it on my own, which can only take me so far.

I have already decided to offer to clean anything she wants, perform any repairs around the house she wants and offer anything to her. I will make suggestions of things I think that she wants too.

I'm sure that other men out there understand what I'm trying to get across. It's an ache that needs to be filled.

Perfection

This woman, well, just wow. Not only the look, but the attitude. And these quotes? Couldn't have said them better myself!

"We want you to order Scotch. It's the most impressive drink order. It's classic. It's sexy. Such a rich color. The glass, the smell. It's not watered down with fruit juice. It's Scotch. And you ordered it."

“Panties is a wonderful word. When did you stop saying ‘panties’? It’s sexy. It’s girlie. It’s naughty. Say it more.”

"I could sit down with a bag of chips and French onion dip and go to town"

I think that if I came home with her standing there with a bottle of Blue Label, I would honestly think I died.

I know she's kidding but........

Last week, my wife took the kids to the sports teacher, the one mentioned in the post "A Little Fun."

I decided to tease her, texting her, asking how he was doing. Her response was simply calling me "silly." I ratcheted it up a notch, texting that I was sure to make myself ready tonight if she were excited from seeing him, to which she responded that it wasn't going to happen because it was "that time of the month". I responded that "wow [name omitted] must be bummed" and her response was "totally."

I realize how tame that is for people who are actually engaged in the lifestyle, or much more experimental, but it's a positive sign that she's joking about it, instead of being totally turned off by it.

And then last weekend, we went out and she wore a short dress, which I thought she looked great in. She was nervous about it, saying it was shorter than she liked, but I think once we were out, she was fine.

On the other hand, she hasn't made any real efforts to deny me. While I would have previously decided that was because she didn't want to take the lead, I actually now understand that she's just doing what she wants to do. So I'm taking it as a positive.

Finally - I have been much better since my mistake. I have made extra efforts to clean and to fix things around the house. She has definitely noticed and has been happy - making me happy!

I screwed up

We were recently having dinner with friends and I playfully made some comments about my wife to everyone, which were funny and well received. Unbeknownst to me, however, she bristled at it, thinking that I was being a little to pointed and personal. In no way did I mean my comments to be taken by anyone in that manner, let alone her taking it in that manner.

Once we got home, she brought the subject up, explaining why she did not appreciate what I had said. And this is where I screwed up. I defended myself, telling her that the comments were not negative to her, that I did not mean them to be negative, everyone thought the comments were funny, and, in essence, that she should not have taken the comments in that manner.

There are many problems with what I did. The first thing I should have realized was that she was expressing to me how SHE felt about the comments, which is the most important thing. She did not like the comments. They made her uncomfortable and she did not appreciate them. My initial reaction clearly showed to her that my first inclination was NOT her feelings, which is of course, a poor showing on my part.

Regardless of how I meant the comments, I should have first apologized. Trying to explain to her why I made the comments, explain my actions etc., was o.k. to do, but the apology should have come first.

I'm also kicking myself about my reaction because it is not indicative of how I do want our relationship to move forward. If I had handled the situation the proper way, we could have had a discussion several days after the incident, wherein I could not only explain verbally how I would like the relationship to move forward, but it could have also served as an illustration.

I could have sat down with her and explained that in the future I will be more respectful to her in public and much more cognizant of how my comments can be perceived. I could have explained that I recognized my error and immediately apologized.

Assuming I had done it correctly the first time, and then we discussed the issue like I stated, she could have reflected on the incident, having a more concrete example of how she should be treated all the time. And how I should be reacting to her, what is expected and what is not tolerated.

Instead, when I continue to try to bring up concepts of her being more "dominant," that I want a WLM, she can possibly think back to the night as it actually happened and think "what the hell is he talking about. That night didn't really show me that wants this. He must be just trying to get his kinky side met and doesn't really care about this other stuff."

Now, don't get me wrong - I did properly apologize the next day. But the force and effect is not the same.

I'm kicking myself for my mistake, but I have learned. Since that date I have made a better effort.