Thursday, April 5, 2012

Sad.......but good.

Some things have happened in my life recently that have been very sad. Nothing to do with my relationship with my wife, but some seriously difficult things.

The good thing, however, is that she's been extremely supportive, helpful and loving. As I go through this, my service efforts have waned. I have not been able to clean as much as previously done, I have not been able to do the little things for her, I have not been as attentive in doing in her nails, making her coffee in the morning, or any of the other things I have been previously trying to do for her.

And while that in and of itself is sad, I think it has revealed some things to her. For the longest time, when discussing the idea of being "submissive" to her, I have been trying to explain that it's not some sniveling worm, on his hands and knees, begging his mistress for the right to lick her boots. I have been trying to explain the loving aspects of a FLR/WLM, the service and the fact that it is not some outward thing that all people would recognize as some kinky game. I don't know that she has ever really understood that, or what it meant in practical terms.

This unfortunate series of events have given her a better understanding, I think, of what our relationship has been moving towards, even if she hadn't previously consciously acknowledged it. While she is sensitive to my current situation, she has noticed those things waning, expressing herself verbally. It's that direct verbal acknowledgment that shows this is something she does crave. It's been expressed by her irrespective of me asking. It's validation that she actually likes it.

One particular exchange illustrated a portion of this. Our child was taking a bath, and this child hates having hair washed. My wife, a relative and I were upstairs and she turned to me and said "[My name] is going to wash [child's name] hair." My immediate response "No I'm not. I'll wash the dishes, but I'm not going to wash [child's name} hair." She immediately said "No?" with a sense of shock and frustration. Not anger. She didn't really like my "no" response and was kind of surprised by it. Her reaction wasn't one where, if this were a Femdom story, she'd say something like "you are saying 'no' to your Mistress," or "you'll get your discipline later for disobeying me" etc.

Instead, this was an immediate response by her which cemented in my own mind that she is adopting a more WLM even if she doesn't know it herself. The reason she reacted the way she did is because I don't talk to her like that. Nor do I generally say "no" to her when she tells me to do something. I made the decision around the time when I started this blog to not say "no" to her and have tried over the years to do things for her without her asking. Her reaction is more evidence to me that we are more in the WLM than I previously thought. And it makes me happy.

Of course, I still crave a more open and frequent acknowledgment from her. And there are many sexual things that I would love to engage in. But those pale in comparison to the happiness I felt by her reaction.


Ayesha said...

"....if this were a Femdom story, she'd say something like "you are saying 'no' to your Mistress," or "you'll get...." Yes, that would probably the case in vanilla femdom circles, a.k.a. mainstream or recreational femdom. But NOT when it comes to feminine femdom, where there is no place for punishment and other so called disciplinarian actions!

I'm-Hers said...

The way your portray your wife is how I view Katie. She is not explicit in her demands, yet I know that she does enjoy being the dominant one - the one that is in control and although she isn't what I would call a strong personality she does say those things like "I need you to do this" or "I want you to do that" or when you get here "I need this done". Those times, like you expressed with the hair washing incident are signs that your wife is becoming more comfortable in her dominance.
Personally I love those times as it is a validation that you don't have a typical vanilla relationship. I'm glad that you can see the change in her evolving.

Ms Diane D said...

I don't comment here often, in fact this is probably my first. But I do have to commend you on a very well written and beautiful post. What happened between the two of you is a testament to the work you've put into building this type of relationship and how over time, your wife has been accepting of it. In reality, I think you are further along in the process than you think.

Good luck to both of you!


Another One said...

Thank you all for the comments.

Diane - I hope that I am further along in the process and that we continue moving forward too!

Sometimes Spanked said...

This is a lovely, real story... thank you :)