Everything I've done to this point in terms of developing a WLM has been mostly as little "games" to spice things up. There have been some informal, and some more formal, ways in which it has been implemented, but there has never been any "honey, I want to discuss with you about adopting a WLM" and then going from there. I have never formally opened up with the idea to her on a permanent basis.
While I have not, from my side, approached her, she has also never approached me on any aspect. She has not spontaneously discussed any aspect of WLM, Femdom, or other kink. That's not to say that sometimes during sex, she hasn't done some stuff. She did spontaneously spank me playfully once and there are some other things, but we've never been sitting there, after the kids were in bed, started to discuss any of this on a more permanent basis.
I've come to believe that for it to ever work, it will have to be a very gradual thing - one that will take years, if at all. Meaning, I do not believe if I tried to sit down and explain everything I would want/desire in a WLM, and then do a "boot camp" suggestion like the Around Her Finger people suggest, or take any other steps to implement the WLM immediately, that it would not work. She would be overwhelmed by the sudden change, feel pressured, and would take to the idea kicking and screaming, instead of embracing the idea.
So, realizing that it would have to be a very long, gradual change, my thoughts were to implement only portions of things that would give her control. I figured I could formally introduce distinct things that give her control and let that process run its way through, have her enjoy it, get a feel for it, embrace it and hopefully desire more control in other areas.
I came to the conclusion that I would approach her with complete orgasm control - that she would control all of my orgasms. She could have as many as she wanted and she could allow me to have as many as she wanted. I could not masturbate or have any orgasms unless she specifically granted that permission.
A long time ago, I wrote up a short letter to her to introduce the concept and idea, inviting for more discussion. That letter has been revised many times, but regardless, I never felt the time was right to give it her. I finally gathered the courage to do it.
The plan was to leave it on top of the coffee maker on Friday, a place where I knew she would absolutely see it, because she gets her coffee every morning. As the time drew near, I kept going back and forth on whether I should put it there or not. Finally, I decided to do it. Extremely hesitant and nervous, I did place it on the coffee pot and started to leave. As I was walking towards the door, she was coming downstairs, all dressed in her workout clothes. She is usually asleep when I leave, so I was sorta surprised to see her. She looked a little stressed already.
I asked how her day would be, if she was going to be busy, etc., and she started listing off all of these things she had to do, and I could tell she had a lot on her plate. Walking with her into the kitchen, I surreptitiously pulled the letter off of the coffee pot before she could see what it was. I know she saw me pull paper off, but I also know she had no idea what it was. We kissed goodbye and I went to work. She never mentioned anything about the paper.
It was the right decision. All that letter would have done if she read it that day was to stress her out more. It would not have been received well. I worked all day feeling good about not giving it to her, but also a little bummed that it hadn't happened yet.
Then, Friday night happened. Friday night was great, confusing, interesting and unexpected. We had dinner with another couple, which was fun. I can't say she ended up drunk, but she was definitely feeling the effects of alcohol. I would assume that it played a part in this, but when we got to bed, she wanted to play and play we did. Me on top ended with us both being happy, with completion inside her. Laying next to her afterward, still kissing, I could tell she was still in the "on" mode. Usually, after one, she is willing to call it a night. It's almost like I have to convince her to go for round two. This night, however, was different. As I was caressing her, she was very receptive, giving me clear signals that she wanted more.
Her reaction stirred a reaction in me. The more I caressed and kissed, the more I was very interested in giving her more. The question was "how." As I've discussed below, I'm one of the ones who finds creampies extremely exciting, yet have a difficulty in doing them because immediately after orgasm, the desire immediately goes away. Well, this time, since we were continuing, she was responding, and I could feel how engorged and slick she was, the idea was getting more and more attractive.
It happened and it was phenomenal. I loved it. I know she loved it. But what I don't know if she understood what happened! I would assume she did, but she's never mentioned it. You would think that it was a foregone conclusion that she absolutely knew about, but with her, I'm not so sure. Maybe she just chooses to not think about it. I don't know.
She also made a comment that night that I didn't understand. I can't repeat it, but it was kink related comment that absolutely requires me to find out from her what she was trying to say. I don't know if she even knows what she was trying to say, but the simple fact that she brought it up was positive. Again, it's that slow moving train.
All I know is that I want to repeat that night, I need to find out what she meant by the comment, and I feel emboldened to give that letter. When it gets delivered, again, is still something I want to be careful with.