tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535465646345290340.post9073201091138598331..comments2023-05-11T01:34:34.235-07:00Comments on A Wonderful Journey: Chickened Out!Another Onehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06668239159843803679noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535465646345290340.post-58580982234850666262010-08-11T09:42:32.306-07:002010-08-11T09:42:32.306-07:00AO: Thank you for reading it and giving some feed...AO: Thank you for reading it and giving some feedback.<br /><br />Based upon what you have said I definitely think starting in the bedroom is probably your safest option. Sexual confidence has a tendency to bleed over in more ways than you could imagine. I think you answered your own question earlier in the post. The "it's not acknowledged and she wouldn't believe it to be true" has me thinking at some point you can probably just look her in the eyes after some sex and be straight-forward with your hopes. Something along the lines of "It makes me so happy when you and I want you to have that whenever you want it. It really turns me on and makes me love you more."<br /><br />Words instill the idea, actions make her believe it. It can even start as a bedroom game, possibly introduced in a manner that Grey Owl referenced. Some evening when the romance is building you might even say something like "I have a sexual fantasy I wanted to share with you but it makes me feel kind of embarrassed..." I have a feeling she will probably want you to share it with her. You could start with something mild and non-threatening like "I want you to be my sex Queen where you tell me exactly what you want and I'll make it happen for you." She has to get used to going with her impulses about what she wants and a fantasy night in the bedroom is an easy way to start that out.<br /><br />If she goes along with it and has a great time you can initiate affection (hugs, kisses, etc.) over the next few days calling her your Queen. <br /><br />Basically, I think the appeal is to get her thinking more selfishly and to keep her feeling that it's okay and attractive for her to do that. Even if she already has the power, having her acknowledge and embrace that power is quite important.fur sissyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06773975470940525031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535465646345290340.post-2293880613604201342010-08-11T08:57:03.142-07:002010-08-11T08:57:03.142-07:00Fur - thanks for the suggestions. I did read your...Fur - thanks for the suggestions. I did read your link and you have good thoughts on the subject.<br /><br />The letter was intended to be only a companion to a discussion. It did state that after she read it, I wanted to discuss it with her - I agree with you that just leaving a cold letter is not the best way.<br /><br />Honestly, it sounds arrogant, but it's not, when I say that she already has two of the three "tag-lines" you suggest:<br />-Orgasm like never before.<br />-Feel the intense burning passion of your man's love whenever you want it.<br /><br />While it's not acknowledged, and if you were to ask her, she probably wouldn't believe it true, but she already has the power to have orgasms whenever she wants. She already has super orgasms. And our lovemaking is already almost exclusively focused on her. Sure, I get mine and oral sex for me is done frequently. But since she's multi-orgasmic, she has 2-3 every time, whereas I'm a single shot.<br /><br />And whenever mine occur during intercourse, it's completely secondary to hers.<br /><br />That's why, in a way, I can't really sell it to her to increase anything because she doesn't really want/need that.<br /><br />For her, I have to appeal to the psychological aspect - the part that you mention that she doesn't necessarily have, which is: -Feel like the sexiest woman on the planet when he's near you. <br /><br />You stated: "It just makes more sense to me that if she is brimming with self-confidence and sexual power that she is more likely to embrace a man that will take care of the mundane daily tasks." That I agree with, for my situation, absolutely 100%.<br /><br />She does not brim with sexual power. And while she has tons of self-confidence in everyday life, she does not have it in the bedroom.<br /><br />So, the question, then, is the best way to bring that out. There's only so much reassurance from me that I can do before it ceases to have an effect. She knows how much I love her, how sexy I think she is already.Another Onehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06668239159843803679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535465646345290340.post-15765628918204347812010-08-11T00:17:02.818-07:002010-08-11T00:17:02.818-07:00AO:
I might suggest taking a more direct (albeit,...AO:<br /><br />I might suggest taking a more direct (albeit, slightly diagonal) approach, like Grey Owl suggested. Women often have very "out there" sexual fantasies but are often too embarrassed to bring them up if they don't think their man would be open about his deepest and darkest fantasies. <br /><br />I never think a letter or subtle hints like anonymous emails with links to websites are good ideas. Think of it this way, if you wrote a letter explaining what you were wanting and she simply left you a letter saying "no way," how would you feel? The idea is that honesty and open dialogue are the keys to having something like this bringing you closer and building intimacy. Tip-toeing around it will never provide her with an accurate picture of just how seriously you wish to take it nor does it allow for an open dialogue. Chances are almost any approach will surprise (and possibly hurt) her. If you are her true love and the one she believes in you must be prepared to talk about it openly and honestly.<br /><br />I know you've written in the past that you aren't comfortable with that idea but the longer you put it off, the harder it will end up being and the more blindsided she will feel if/when she finally picks up on your desires.<br /><br />IMO, there is a way to introduce things from a sexual standpoint that will appeal to her on sexual terms that she enjoys and do a lot more to encourage her to exert dominance in what she wants. <br /><br />I don't usually post links to things I've written but you might find some ideas that could prove useful somewhere down the line. It seems somewhat applicable, especially since things seem to be rooted in your bedroom interactions. It only seems natural to start there.<br /><br />http://furcissy.blogspot.com/2010/05/thoughts-on-vanilla-to-ds-conversion.htmlfur sissyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06773975470940525031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535465646345290340.post-6140618531732698642010-08-10T11:44:41.832-07:002010-08-10T11:44:41.832-07:00I took the approach of telling her that i had stop...I took the approach of telling her that i had stopped masturbating as a fact. She said it was up to me and not to do with her.. In doing this it was not wlm but it was a massive step. I had asked for permission to come for years , just as a thing i did, so it was a fairly short time until she just knew it was up to her whether i did or not. A few short converstaions during the act about wanting to but it being up to her and it was sorted. Quite often she plays and then says its not allowed so it has worked. Simple steps no big conversation just doing it made it happen. Oh by the way love it even after weeks !!!!linewriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13800274811536644013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535465646345290340.post-23225888682085718022010-08-09T13:50:51.527-07:002010-08-09T13:50:51.527-07:00SP,
I know what you're saying.
The "f...SP,<br /><br />I know what you're saying. <br /><br />The "fantasy" that is so prevalent that once the wife hears about Femdom or WLM, that she takes it farther than the man wants it is just that "fantasy." I'm well aware that will not occur, or anything close to it.<br /><br />While it's a generalization, there are two compenents of a WLM: 1) the everyday interaction; and 2) the bedroom.<br /><br />As for the first, she definitely has WLM tendencies.<br /><br />As for the second, she's more vanilla than kink, but she's also engages in kink too.<br /><br />So, will she ever develop kink to the point where it equals mine? Heck no, but that's fine with me. The more she engages in kink, the better. But I won't be sitting there always wanting more and more and more, until she's wearing fetish outfits and I'm building a dungeon in the basement.<br /><br />Thing is, I'm perfectly happy and in love with her the way she is and we are!<br /><br />As with ever aspect of my life, I'm continually working to make it better. No matter where I am in my job, I'm always trying to get better and advance. I'm constantly trying to figure out how to be a better parent. Constantly trying to figure out how to help my kids be better in life, with friends, in school, in sports etc.<br /><br />Same thing with my wife and a WLM.Another Onehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06668239159843803679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535465646345290340.post-46913233976502451432010-08-09T13:39:53.897-07:002010-08-09T13:39:53.897-07:00GO,
I have read her blog. That method will not w...GO,<br /><br />I have read her blog. That method will not work for me and her, because frankly, we've done that many times before and it doesn't really work. I'm not saying that the new method I'm thinking of doing is going to work, but I already know that what worked for them will not work for us.<br /><br />She has a great blog. It is informative. And before I write what I will write, I want to say that this is not a criticism of her blog in any way and that I do believe her blog is very worthy of my time. I will continue to read her blog.<br /><br />On the other hand, I suspect that where her blog has now gone was absolutely calculated from day one. The blog was designed from the very beginning as a way to sell the BCWYWF guide.<br /><br />She's a worthy enough writer, and knowledgeable enough, to be one to write it and sell it. Her content is phenomenal.Another Onehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06668239159843803679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535465646345290340.post-20375535155716862532010-08-09T13:35:30.096-07:002010-08-09T13:35:30.096-07:00There is such relationship as a Wife Led Marriage....There is such relationship as a Wife Led Marriage. The problem is that unless she is naturally bent that way, it is not going to happen the way you would prefer, no matter what yo do. On the long run, it will revert to vanilla.<br /><br />Pity.Susan's Pethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09910157397713736597noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8535465646345290340.post-36451192393520837642010-08-09T12:32:23.527-07:002010-08-09T12:32:23.527-07:00Have you read any of Sarah Jameson's Male Chas...Have you read any of Sarah Jameson's Male Chastity Blog? She and her husband were able to make that first step when he drew the courage to suggest they both sit down and make of list of their most favorite fantasies. His list consisted of one fantasy... check it out.Grey Owlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02121079678753074066noreply@blogger.com