In addition to my own desire for a more WLM, part of the reason I believed this was something that she would embrace is that she already has a dominant personality. And, in many ways, we already had incorporated certain traditional WLM aspects without ever any overt acknowledgment.
Still, a recent discussion with her now has me wondering about the viability of the WLM, and it doesn't even have anything to do with sex!
In a nutshell, she likes/thrives on conflict. Now, conflict does not mean arguing, yelling, disagreements, or anything negative. The conflict I'm talking about is two strong personalities butting heads on an issue to come to the best possible solution. The discussions that occur, with both people bringing out the salient points is something that drives the intellect on her side (well, and mine too) and we have been successful in this interaction.
I have found that when I begin to agree with her all the time, or do what she says all of the time, she does not actually like it nearly as much and gets less lively. So now I'm sort of at a loss how to reconcile this with the future.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Another Pic
Love details in this picture by the photographer. Country kitchen, with the stark white of her lingerie. The pink heels are an interesting contrast. It draws the eyes directly to it, and then you notice the curve of her foot in those heels and how high they actually are.
The line on her calf is delicious.
She not stick thin - her leg is shapely and wonderfully sexy, especially how he's digging into her thigh a little.
I actually like that the faces are not in the photograph - so you're focusing more on the bodies than face.
Of course, he has a tremendous body too, just adding to the overall sexiness of the moment.
(P.S. - I should note that the last two photographs were taken from http://queentakesknight.tumblr.com/)
The line on her calf is delicious.
She not stick thin - her leg is shapely and wonderfully sexy, especially how he's digging into her thigh a little.
I actually like that the faces are not in the photograph - so you're focusing more on the bodies than face.
Of course, he has a tremendous body too, just adding to the overall sexiness of the moment.
(P.S. - I should note that the last two photographs were taken from http://queentakesknight.tumblr.com/)
Friday, April 16, 2010
Hmmm
A little Friday fun.
I like pictures, but only when they tickle my fancy. This one? Well, who decides to include the vacuum in the background?
I like pictures, but only when they tickle my fancy. This one? Well, who decides to include the vacuum in the background?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Normal part 2
Last night was a great night for us. Well, things didn't go well for her at work, and she was not happy, but it was out of her control. It wasn't anything she had done wrong, it's just that sometimes things don't work out. So, after a long time of stress at work all day, she was sitting on the love seat and I was sitting on the couch, discussing the day.
After we had a nice talk, she got up and came back with a snack to watch tv before going to bed. I knew she was trying to calm down after a long, difficult, stressful day, so I took the snack from her as she sat on the couch and I began to give her a massage, which she thoroughly enjoyed and needed. It ended with me on my knees, pleasuring her. There was no reciprocation. She was pleased, de-stressed and happy and we just went to bed.
Now, I'm positive that at the time it was occurring last night, she did not view it as anything "femdom", her being dominant, me being submissive, any type of WLM or anything kinky at all. She just viewed it as a husband being sensitive to his wife's needs.
To me, though, it served to fuel many of my submissive desires. On my knees. Even after I was done, and her pants were back on, I purposefully stayed on the floor, at her feet, while she sat on the couch, as we continued to talk. That she made no effort to reciprocate to me also fueled my submissive side. We both went to bed happy.
Today, acknowledging her difficult day yesterday, we texted many times. In one of the last ones, I told her I wanted to do something for her tonight, and that if she wanted anything in particular, to just ask me and I'll do it for her. She happily responded that she'd think of something.
We are no where near an acknowledged WLM. But a WLM is becoming more and more integrated into our relationship and she's embracing it as something normal and enjoyable. Her reaction to my text wasn't shock, embarrassment, surprise, disgust or fear. Instead of being apprehensive about what type of crazy sex game I was going to try to impose on her, or fear of unknown, or something, her reaction was one of immediate happiness. The more I keep doing things on my own (which I have) and the more I keep offering things, the more comfortable she is becoming with the idea of the relationship, even if it is not yet specifically acknowledged.
Now, what she comes up with tonight should be interesting. As much as I would love it, I know that I won't come home to her with a strap-on and a collar. I'm sure it will be something as simple as a massage, a bath or a pedicure or something like that. But I will love doing that for her more than the strap-on fantasy because I'll be doing it for her and it'll be what she wants. And as the days, months, and years go on, she may become more and more open to other things.
After we had a nice talk, she got up and came back with a snack to watch tv before going to bed. I knew she was trying to calm down after a long, difficult, stressful day, so I took the snack from her as she sat on the couch and I began to give her a massage, which she thoroughly enjoyed and needed. It ended with me on my knees, pleasuring her. There was no reciprocation. She was pleased, de-stressed and happy and we just went to bed.
Now, I'm positive that at the time it was occurring last night, she did not view it as anything "femdom", her being dominant, me being submissive, any type of WLM or anything kinky at all. She just viewed it as a husband being sensitive to his wife's needs.
To me, though, it served to fuel many of my submissive desires. On my knees. Even after I was done, and her pants were back on, I purposefully stayed on the floor, at her feet, while she sat on the couch, as we continued to talk. That she made no effort to reciprocate to me also fueled my submissive side. We both went to bed happy.
Today, acknowledging her difficult day yesterday, we texted many times. In one of the last ones, I told her I wanted to do something for her tonight, and that if she wanted anything in particular, to just ask me and I'll do it for her. She happily responded that she'd think of something.
We are no where near an acknowledged WLM. But a WLM is becoming more and more integrated into our relationship and she's embracing it as something normal and enjoyable. Her reaction to my text wasn't shock, embarrassment, surprise, disgust or fear. Instead of being apprehensive about what type of crazy sex game I was going to try to impose on her, or fear of unknown, or something, her reaction was one of immediate happiness. The more I keep doing things on my own (which I have) and the more I keep offering things, the more comfortable she is becoming with the idea of the relationship, even if it is not yet specifically acknowledged.
Now, what she comes up with tonight should be interesting. As much as I would love it, I know that I won't come home to her with a strap-on and a collar. I'm sure it will be something as simple as a massage, a bath or a pedicure or something like that. But I will love doing that for her more than the strap-on fantasy because I'll be doing it for her and it'll be what she wants. And as the days, months, and years go on, she may become more and more open to other things.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Normal
Normal is so non-descriptive that it is a useless term. Most people use the term "normal" to mean "the majority." The problem is that they then judge the people in the minority as being deviant. The faulty logic usually goes like this: the majority of people live in a household which is male dominated, so male dominated households are normal. If you live in a female dominated household, you are deviant, your thoughts and lifestyle are subject to ridicule and you're not as important or valuable as the "normal" people.
In fact, anyone who studies human sexuality realizes that the spectrum for sexual activities is so diverse that there is no such thing as "normal." Normal is defined as "conforming to the standard or the common type." Any type of non-vanilla sex may be considered deviant by the vanilla people, but all of this so-called deviant behavior is actually so prevalent and common, that it can only be considered "normal" in the true definition of that word.
Outwardly, the majority of the people present their vanilla selves to others, but then in the bedroom, they engage in the so-called deviant behavior. There are no shortages of surveys which reveal that Americans in particular are much more adventurous in bedroom than anyone actually realizes. While anonymous polls show that more than 50% have engaged in BDSM activities in the bedroom, generally your co-worker is not going to reveal to you that he tied up his wife the other night. Or his wife spanked him last night.
Essentially, what occurs is that everyone thinks everyone else is vanilla in the bedroom. I know that if you polled all my friends, none would even come close to guessing what I like and dislike in the bedroom.
Which just goes to show that there should be no judging what other people like to do in the bedroom. As long as those two consenting adults are happy together, it works for them, then those people should actually be applauded, not ridiculed!
I'm not even sure why having a lifestyle or view that is not the "norm" is considered deviant. More specifically, I'm confused as to why WLM is considered deviant or odd.
The personality spectrum for males is wide, from extremely masculine to extremely feminine and everywhere in between. The same for females. So when two individuals develop a relationship, is it really that difficult to believe and/or understand that they will have their own unique interaction? An interaction that, for them, makes them happy?
This concept dovetails into the "gradual" concept I posted about before. I was wondering why most people who discuss WLM state that when introducing it to the wife, it must be dealt with caution and trepidation, as if the idea is deviant. To me, expressing WLM needs and desires to your wife should be no different than her expressing whatever needs and desires she wants to you. It's not very realistic, though, I realize.
My issue is to slowly introduce the concept to her on such a gradual basis, that, at least between us, it becomes normal in her eyes, as opposed to any type of deviant thing. Instead of sitting her down and explaining that I want a full WLM, that I want her to take control of my orgasms and put me in a chastity device 24/7, that I want her to put forth a series of chores I have to do, etc., I've taken to just offering things to her.
If I'm feeling submissive, I'll let her know that I would like to do something for her, or that I'd like to serve her. I'll communicate to her that if she wants something done, like a massage or a pedicure, I'll be very happy to do it. I'll let her know that if she would like to order me to do anything that night, she's free to do so. It's not ideal, and not how I want it to be ultimately, but my hope is that more and more that I do those things, the more and more she gets used to it, so that eventually, we keep growing into a more outwardly WLM.
In fact, anyone who studies human sexuality realizes that the spectrum for sexual activities is so diverse that there is no such thing as "normal." Normal is defined as "conforming to the standard or the common type." Any type of non-vanilla sex may be considered deviant by the vanilla people, but all of this so-called deviant behavior is actually so prevalent and common, that it can only be considered "normal" in the true definition of that word.
Outwardly, the majority of the people present their vanilla selves to others, but then in the bedroom, they engage in the so-called deviant behavior. There are no shortages of surveys which reveal that Americans in particular are much more adventurous in bedroom than anyone actually realizes. While anonymous polls show that more than 50% have engaged in BDSM activities in the bedroom, generally your co-worker is not going to reveal to you that he tied up his wife the other night. Or his wife spanked him last night.
Essentially, what occurs is that everyone thinks everyone else is vanilla in the bedroom. I know that if you polled all my friends, none would even come close to guessing what I like and dislike in the bedroom.
Which just goes to show that there should be no judging what other people like to do in the bedroom. As long as those two consenting adults are happy together, it works for them, then those people should actually be applauded, not ridiculed!
I'm not even sure why having a lifestyle or view that is not the "norm" is considered deviant. More specifically, I'm confused as to why WLM is considered deviant or odd.
The personality spectrum for males is wide, from extremely masculine to extremely feminine and everywhere in between. The same for females. So when two individuals develop a relationship, is it really that difficult to believe and/or understand that they will have their own unique interaction? An interaction that, for them, makes them happy?
This concept dovetails into the "gradual" concept I posted about before. I was wondering why most people who discuss WLM state that when introducing it to the wife, it must be dealt with caution and trepidation, as if the idea is deviant. To me, expressing WLM needs and desires to your wife should be no different than her expressing whatever needs and desires she wants to you. It's not very realistic, though, I realize.
My issue is to slowly introduce the concept to her on such a gradual basis, that, at least between us, it becomes normal in her eyes, as opposed to any type of deviant thing. Instead of sitting her down and explaining that I want a full WLM, that I want her to take control of my orgasms and put me in a chastity device 24/7, that I want her to put forth a series of chores I have to do, etc., I've taken to just offering things to her.
If I'm feeling submissive, I'll let her know that I would like to do something for her, or that I'd like to serve her. I'll communicate to her that if she wants something done, like a massage or a pedicure, I'll be very happy to do it. I'll let her know that if she would like to order me to do anything that night, she's free to do so. It's not ideal, and not how I want it to be ultimately, but my hope is that more and more that I do those things, the more and more she gets used to it, so that eventually, we keep growing into a more outwardly WLM.
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