Monday, March 1, 2010

Future Part 2

I read many blogs and other information on Femdom and WLM. I'm not referring to pure "porn." I'm referring to sites that discuss the issue of Femdom/WLM. When reading these, it is clear that, in the vast majority of cases, when the husband is the one to bring the issue of Femdom/WLM to the wife, it takes a long time for the wife to fully embrace and engage. Many report that it took over two years for them to fully be open, embrace and engage in the lifestyle.

She has known since before we were married about my predilection towards Femdom. And, as I've mentioned before, we had dabbled in it many times, but never ever on any sustained basis. So, when I brought up the Game back in October to her, it didn't come as a shock to her. Some of the specifics of the game were shocking to her, but the whole concept was not out of the blue. Based on that, I felt I had a little bit of a head start.

Knowing her as I do, I was under no delusion that she would embrace everything about it immediately and fully. I thought, even at the beginning, was that it would be a long process.

What I have realized recently is that our current issues have nothing to do with WLM, her interest or lack of interest, but simply everything to do with our relationship in general. And that means both of us being too busy, stresses due to children and finances, getting older, working out etc.

The light bulb sorta went on last night when, as we were in bed going to sleep, we were discussing just day to day life, what she had done that day, what I had done, family etc., and it was a very nice talk. In essence, catching up. At some point, we discussed the lack of intimate activity recently, and it was not accusatory between either of us. It was just a recognition of where we were. But within that discussion, we also talked briefly about the Game, and Femdom in general, and she stated again that she really did enjoy it.

I was very surprised and happy, however, when she actually stated that what she did enjoy about it the most was that we were intimate more frequently, we talked more and she did enjoy the attention. That was music to my ears.

At All Times stated "I think I have proved to Jane that this is not just sexual, it’s not just a game, and that I am not seeking to change our relationship into something seedy, but is based upon our love and devotion for each other as a couple." That sentiment is exactly what I am seeking. Our discussion last night leads me to believe that she at least recognizes that this is my true intention. That it is not something for her to do so I can get my own rocks off.

Subtly, too, I enjoyed the idea that the discussion was perceived as "normal." There was a communication about the subject without any apprehension, nervousness, disgust or anything like that.

Many people have been kind enough to read my blog and leave comments, which I greatly appreciate, and have provided quality advice. One such piece of advice has been that it is a long process and to let her grow into the idea at her pace. Sometimes it is difficult to do so, but the discussion last night shows how the advice is correct.

Of course, now I just need to find time to be with her!

1 comment:

At all Times said...

There is no doubt that "life" issues can severely hamper your attempts to establish a WLM, and this can work both ways, I mean affect both of you. In my experience, as the man wanting this more than the wife, it is better to slow down yourself, lessen your expectations, look for and learn to be motivated by the more simpler things, express your desire to submit and please in ways that your wife will appreciate and enjoy. By doing so she will become naturally more expectant, dominant, and who knows at some point you will both cross somewhere in the middle, as she speeds up her interest in being in charge. Once you have meet somewhere in the middle, it should be possible to both go off in the same direction, hopefully back towards a more intense and dynamic WLM together.