In my "Effort" post a while back, I expressed the frustration with her seeming lack of desire to put forth any effort to "take matters into her own hand" so to speak, despite expressing enjoyment of the various WLM activities we engaged in. She definitely enjoyed the pedicures, service, etc., and enjoyed the tease & denial when in the moment.
That's not to say that she is actually telling me one thing, but feeling another. I know her well enough to know that if she did not enjoy them in the first place, she would not do them at all.
What's really happening is that she does not think about kink, or sex, or even WLM type things. So, even if she were interested in sex, she would never just put on simple lingerie and say "let's go" or anything like that. She claims that she just "doesn't think that way."
Part of that is she's never been like that. Ever. Now, the issue is compounded by the fact that we have kids and we both have stressful careers. For me, though, when I need to de-stress, I read other WLM/FLR blogs, think about fun things to do with her, think of ways to make her happy, etc. On a day to day basis, this is not something that she does. She's running around, juggling a lot of balls in the air, and then by the time I get home, just wants to get away and forget about everything. (For those of you old enough to remember, think of the "Calgon, take me away" commercials. Or even those Toyota commercials where the mom stays in the mini van.)
I read a post in another blog regarding WLM in which the wife seemed similar to mine by her inability and/or lack of desire to come up with rules or things that the sub needed to do for her. Instead, her decision was to require HIM to come up with the list, present it to her at the beginning of the week, and then subject to her changes and approval, it was up to him to complete the tasks.
I know that should I succeed in further developing this lifestyle, it is that type of action that will be necessary. And I'd be perfectly happy with that.