There are much better blogs devoted to the concept of Chastity, including the incredible denyingthumper. This entry will be focused on my own specific experience with Chastity, short as it is.
The Chastity practiced between my wife and I is purely on the honor system. We have no Chastity devices. We are not yet there in our relationship to suggest, let alone implement, a chastity device. How do I know? She's uncomfortable even using the word! As mentioned in a previous post, when I stated that I was in now in Chastity, she thought it was funny and said something like "chastity.....where do you learn to talk like this." I explained that was the name, and even asked how else I should describe it, but was just told that it sounded funny.
She's clearly not experienced enough with it for it be second nature. The common quote is, "it's only kinky the first time you do it." I hope that the more we practice Chastisty, the more comfortable she'll be with the concept in general, and then we can graduate to actual devices.
But, right now, she doesn't really the understand concept. Sure, I've explained, and she hears what I say, but she does not truly understand the excitement of being teased and denied or the thrill of giving up control to her. And, she harbors feelings of guilt for not giving release sooner. She explained that she ends up feeling bad if she doesn't get around to allowing me to cum for long periods of time. I believe what she really means is that her libido is much lower than mine, and she can go a long time on her own without sexual interaction and she feels bad because she knows I'd much rather have sex sooner than her.
That is a valid concern on her part, and from what I can tell, a common issue for women who are engaging in this at the urging of their husbands. Of course, I assured her that as long as the denial was a part of her active Femdom work, it was perfectly o.k. with me.
So, for the time being, a device will not be forthcoming. Introducing a complicated, even painful looking, device on my genitals, all with the threat of the children seeing it, will be too much for her, especially based upon her expressed bewilderment on the concept. Also, having to take it off to clean or dealing with it on a semi-regular basis will make her feel as if it is dominating (no pun intended) our lives.
Whether we ever get to the point where she truly enjoys it, enjoys seeing me in a chastity device, and enjoys teasing me with the key, is something that will be far into the future. Who knows, maybe by the end of the year she'll be more and more comfortable with the idea of chastity in general and the device specifically.
Showing posts with label Chastity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chastity. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
The New Year Starts With A Bang!
I did approach my wife with the idea of doing a new "game." I suggested it to her on New Years Eve, and she was totally for it. That she readily agreed and seemed excited about it has me very hopeful for the new year. Starting off with promise!
For those of you new to the blog, check the older entry on the rules of the game. Regardless, I'm in Chastity until I complete the following objectives:
1. Cook a romantic dinner for her, clean the dishes etc., and serve her for the rest of the night.
2. Give her a pedicure.
3. Prepare and attend to her in the bathtub, including washing her hair and shaving her legs.
4. Hot candle wax dripped on me in locations she desires, for at least 3 minutes.
5. She will edge me four times in one night.
6. When I finally get to cum, it will be done with her in the cowgirl position, and as soon as I cum, she will immediately roll off and require me to eat her to orgasm.
She was very cute, because after all the rolls were completed, she asked what happened next, and I said, "well, nothing has to happen right now. I'm in chastity until all of the objectives are completed." She laughed, saying, "chastity, it cracks me up when you talk like that, it just sounds so funny." And then she asked what "edging" meant. I explained that it was getting me juuuuuuussst to the point of orgasm and then stopping. She laughed at that too, looking at me kind of like I was nuts.
But, immediately after that, she was very much the sexual predator, pushing me on my back and began licking and sucking me, all the while asking me if she was doing it right and if I was enjoying it. She brought me very very much to the edge until I told her to stop. She enjoyed the look at coyly asked if she was doing a good job. The answer was obvious, but I profusely provided my appreciation to her. She did it once again and then lay on her back, ordering me to fuck her.
It was extremely difficult to not cum, especially after the first two edgings. I've found that with me on top, and if I move slowly, I can last as long as I want because I can just stop or slow down when needed. The slow fucking lasted for some time until I could tell she was ready for her orgasm. I put my finger on her clit while still inside her to bring her off. Doing this, however, causes her to move much more, and it prevents me from controlling my own orgasm. After a while I had to pull out and get her off without me in her. It was phenomenal to see her. I told her that giving her the orgasm, and watching her enjoy that pleasure, was better than having my orgasm. That I did not orgasm was inconsequential. I was very happy.
We talked more about the game and what I needed to finish before the Chastity was over. She was very happy about most of the objectives, but expressed hesitation about the wax. When I created this game, I did try to make a mix of things that I knew she would readily accept and enjoy and others that pushed the envelope. When I say push the envelope, I mean hers and mine.
She's not into pain, so the wax idea is something I know she's not initially into. That one will be tricky to get her to do. It will have to be suggested when the conditions are perfect and she's not freaked out. Encouraging her and assuring that it will be pleasurable to me will be necessary.
The creampie cleanup is something that is even more interesting, but that's a post for another day. I do look forward to that day.
So, I'm now in chastity. (A post on our current dealings and conversations with Chastity will also be forthcoming.) It actually feels good to be back into Chastity and to be actively engaging in a form of Femdom, even if it is based upon my own construct. Again, I'm extremely happy to be even taking baby steps towards full fledged WLM, or wherever this ends up.
For those of you new to the blog, check the older entry on the rules of the game. Regardless, I'm in Chastity until I complete the following objectives:
1. Cook a romantic dinner for her, clean the dishes etc., and serve her for the rest of the night.
2. Give her a pedicure.
3. Prepare and attend to her in the bathtub, including washing her hair and shaving her legs.
4. Hot candle wax dripped on me in locations she desires, for at least 3 minutes.
5. She will edge me four times in one night.
6. When I finally get to cum, it will be done with her in the cowgirl position, and as soon as I cum, she will immediately roll off and require me to eat her to orgasm.
She was very cute, because after all the rolls were completed, she asked what happened next, and I said, "well, nothing has to happen right now. I'm in chastity until all of the objectives are completed." She laughed, saying, "chastity, it cracks me up when you talk like that, it just sounds so funny." And then she asked what "edging" meant. I explained that it was getting me juuuuuuussst to the point of orgasm and then stopping. She laughed at that too, looking at me kind of like I was nuts.
But, immediately after that, she was very much the sexual predator, pushing me on my back and began licking and sucking me, all the while asking me if she was doing it right and if I was enjoying it. She brought me very very much to the edge until I told her to stop. She enjoyed the look at coyly asked if she was doing a good job. The answer was obvious, but I profusely provided my appreciation to her. She did it once again and then lay on her back, ordering me to fuck her.
It was extremely difficult to not cum, especially after the first two edgings. I've found that with me on top, and if I move slowly, I can last as long as I want because I can just stop or slow down when needed. The slow fucking lasted for some time until I could tell she was ready for her orgasm. I put my finger on her clit while still inside her to bring her off. Doing this, however, causes her to move much more, and it prevents me from controlling my own orgasm. After a while I had to pull out and get her off without me in her. It was phenomenal to see her. I told her that giving her the orgasm, and watching her enjoy that pleasure, was better than having my orgasm. That I did not orgasm was inconsequential. I was very happy.
We talked more about the game and what I needed to finish before the Chastity was over. She was very happy about most of the objectives, but expressed hesitation about the wax. When I created this game, I did try to make a mix of things that I knew she would readily accept and enjoy and others that pushed the envelope. When I say push the envelope, I mean hers and mine.
She's not into pain, so the wax idea is something I know she's not initially into. That one will be tricky to get her to do. It will have to be suggested when the conditions are perfect and she's not freaked out. Encouraging her and assuring that it will be pleasurable to me will be necessary.
The creampie cleanup is something that is even more interesting, but that's a post for another day. I do look forward to that day.
So, I'm now in chastity. (A post on our current dealings and conversations with Chastity will also be forthcoming.) It actually feels good to be back into Chastity and to be actively engaging in a form of Femdom, even if it is based upon my own construct. Again, I'm extremely happy to be even taking baby steps towards full fledged WLM, or wherever this ends up.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
The Game is Over
I've got to take the counter down, because that ship finally sailed right before Thanksgiving, but since I was gone, I haven't had the opportunity to provide the update.
Unfortunately, at least from my point of view, it wasn't some grand elaborate event. That's not to say that after over a month, the release wasn't incredible. The release was unbelievable. As most of us subs are known to do, I had grandiose ideas of how the final event would take place. The reality could never have lived up to the build up in my head.
After dinner and getting the kids to bed, she simply had me go up stairs, restrained me, and then read her book for the alloted time I had left. After that, she did spend some time teasing me, until finally engulfing me. It didn't take long at all. It was mind blowing - I was shaking for a while after the deed was done. It took a while to come down off the high. She didn't even want me to do anything in return.
Maybe because I'm the type who thinks about things all the time, I was sorta taken aback that she never discussed what we just went through! It's been several weeks now since that night, and she hasn't mentioned anything about it! Makes me wonder what's going through her head. Mind you, we are so very very busy that we've barely had time to say "hi" to each other, let alone get into a discussion about our little journey.
With the remainder of December looking extremely busy, I'm not going to be pushing anything.
Unfortunately, at least from my point of view, it wasn't some grand elaborate event. That's not to say that after over a month, the release wasn't incredible. The release was unbelievable. As most of us subs are known to do, I had grandiose ideas of how the final event would take place. The reality could never have lived up to the build up in my head.
After dinner and getting the kids to bed, she simply had me go up stairs, restrained me, and then read her book for the alloted time I had left. After that, she did spend some time teasing me, until finally engulfing me. It didn't take long at all. It was mind blowing - I was shaking for a while after the deed was done. It took a while to come down off the high. She didn't even want me to do anything in return.
Maybe because I'm the type who thinks about things all the time, I was sorta taken aback that she never discussed what we just went through! It's been several weeks now since that night, and she hasn't mentioned anything about it! Makes me wonder what's going through her head. Mind you, we are so very very busy that we've barely had time to say "hi" to each other, let alone get into a discussion about our little journey.
With the remainder of December looking extremely busy, I'm not going to be pushing anything.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Discouraging
I know that I'm trying to look at this in the long term, but it's starting to creep into my mind that she's not nearly as into it as I had originally thought.
There hasn't been a hint of Tease & Denial, Femdom.....anything, in a long time now. I have not broached the subject at all because I don't want to pressure or pester her into doing anything.
I'm still everything I had been before. I'm still offering to bring her wine, I'm still doing the dishes, I'm still doing other chores around the house, I'm still showing interest in her day etc. And don't get me wrong - I'm not doing these things solely as a way to "trick" her or get her to engage in Femdom or sex. I'm doing them because I have always done them and I love her.
What I have not received is any inkling from her that she's even thinking about it at all. I always understand when there are other issues that prevent engagement in relations. All she'd need to do is communicate that to me. Maybe she is thinking about it, but she's done nothing in her actions or her words to convey that.
The discouraging part is that we've had the discussions in the past where she admits that she needs to be better making time for us, to be more engaged. My option is to communicate to her how I've perceived these last couple of weeks, but I do not want her to agree with me and claim she'll do better in the future. We've had that dicussion many times. I don't want to have it again.
There hasn't been a hint of Tease & Denial, Femdom.....anything, in a long time now. I have not broached the subject at all because I don't want to pressure or pester her into doing anything.
I'm still everything I had been before. I'm still offering to bring her wine, I'm still doing the dishes, I'm still doing other chores around the house, I'm still showing interest in her day etc. And don't get me wrong - I'm not doing these things solely as a way to "trick" her or get her to engage in Femdom or sex. I'm doing them because I have always done them and I love her.
What I have not received is any inkling from her that she's even thinking about it at all. I always understand when there are other issues that prevent engagement in relations. All she'd need to do is communicate that to me. Maybe she is thinking about it, but she's done nothing in her actions or her words to convey that.
The discouraging part is that we've had the discussions in the past where she admits that she needs to be better making time for us, to be more engaged. My option is to communicate to her how I've perceived these last couple of weeks, but I do not want her to agree with me and claim she'll do better in the future. We've had that dicussion many times. I don't want to have it again.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Another Great Image
Found this image on http://themarrieddomme.blogspot.com/ (a great blog.)
This photo represents where I would love for my relationship to be with my wife. We are not at a point where she will use a strap-on on me, nor have I even broached the subject of a chastity device. While we are engaging in chastity right now, it's a self-imposed and "trust" version. She simply trusts that I do not have an orgasm outside of her presence.
Of course, I would love to submit to her locking my cock in a chastity device. The symbolism of her engaging in the act of placing the device on, taking the key, and wearing the key as a daily reminder would powerful to me, and hopefully powerful to her. I would be surprised if she ever a) agreed to do it; and b) enjoyed it. One issue is that it is pushing her out of her element and the other issue is the "found out" thing. She would be deathly afraid that the kids would see, or that someone would know. These don't bother me as much - I couldn't care less what others think or know. She is different.
And the strap-on is a "no go" right now. She states that she does not enjoy anal sex and thinks it's gross. I also believe, though she claims otherwise, that she associates a strap-on to a male is a homosexual thing.
It's a long process, but I'm hoping that I can disprove the age old maxim of "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." I'm hoping that if I keep exposing her to new things, gradually increasing her awareness and showing her how much it is something she would enjoy, that she will gradually become more actively engaged.
This photo represents where I would love for my relationship to be with my wife. We are not at a point where she will use a strap-on on me, nor have I even broached the subject of a chastity device. While we are engaging in chastity right now, it's a self-imposed and "trust" version. She simply trusts that I do not have an orgasm outside of her presence.
Of course, I would love to submit to her locking my cock in a chastity device. The symbolism of her engaging in the act of placing the device on, taking the key, and wearing the key as a daily reminder would powerful to me, and hopefully powerful to her. I would be surprised if she ever a) agreed to do it; and b) enjoyed it. One issue is that it is pushing her out of her element and the other issue is the "found out" thing. She would be deathly afraid that the kids would see, or that someone would know. These don't bother me as much - I couldn't care less what others think or know. She is different.
And the strap-on is a "no go" right now. She states that she does not enjoy anal sex and thinks it's gross. I also believe, though she claims otherwise, that she associates a strap-on to a male is a homosexual thing.
It's a long process, but I'm hoping that I can disprove the age old maxim of "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." I'm hoping that if I keep exposing her to new things, gradually increasing her awareness and showing her how much it is something she would enjoy, that she will gradually become more actively engaged.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Devilish Woman
It's funny, because the more I sit there and think she's not doing anything, the more she surprises me.
Friday was a really bad day for her and we ended up staying home that night. She went to bed early, and nothing happened.
Saturday, she kept making sneaky little comments throughout the day. Just little things like "how are you doing" while patting my crotch, talking about "maybe tonight will be the night, and just things like that. One other funny comment was in the morning. She was getting out of the shower and I was getting into the shower. As we passed, she noticed my shaved groin area, which still has the red bumps from shaving. I haven't figured out to not get those yet (and yes, I use a really good razor). As we were passing each other, the following discussion occurred:
"See, now you know what it's like to have to shave your bikini area," she said.
I responded "You're right. But the good thing is it doesn't itch."
"Yea, but what about the red bumps there," she said.
"Well, it's not like anyone is going to see them but you!"
"You're damn right," she said, and then she left. I thought it was funny!
Anyway, I knew that she was going out on Saturday night for her friends birthday. I stayed home and while it was kinda torture, after the kids were in bed, I ended up reading some of the great blogs out there, and watching a little porn. It was stupid, because all it did was make me really horny and I ended up edging myself! I finally stopped myself and watched a movie.
I was up when she got home at about 11 a.m. I was in bed watching tv. She was nicely buzzed, but no where near drunk. She got ready for bed and climbed in with me. She snuggled up to me, we talked about the night and then she started to play with me through my boxers. I was really enjoying it, instantly got hard, and she kept going till she knew it was going to be too much. When she'd stop, she just lay there watching tv with me.
After the last time, though, she had fallen asleep. So there I was, leaking, hugely hard, and she was done.
The next day, I was very randy, and was all over all day. I was really hoping that last night I would finish my time restrained. The day took a turn for the worse when we were supposed to get something delivered to our house and then found out it would take several more weeks. That really pissed her off (not either of our fault), but we ended up getting a little heated. My fault, because I should have just recognized that she was made at the situation, and not me.
Anyway, that put the damper on the day. We spent the rest of the day with friends, which put her in a better mood. But by the time we got home, the house was a freaking mess. I spent the rest of the day trying to please her by cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming the house and doing the dishes. Alas, it was not to be. She had to finish work and then went to bed.
She definitely thanked me for my work on Sunday, but I'm still waiting!
Friday was a really bad day for her and we ended up staying home that night. She went to bed early, and nothing happened.
Saturday, she kept making sneaky little comments throughout the day. Just little things like "how are you doing" while patting my crotch, talking about "maybe tonight will be the night, and just things like that. One other funny comment was in the morning. She was getting out of the shower and I was getting into the shower. As we passed, she noticed my shaved groin area, which still has the red bumps from shaving. I haven't figured out to not get those yet (and yes, I use a really good razor). As we were passing each other, the following discussion occurred:
"See, now you know what it's like to have to shave your bikini area," she said.
I responded "You're right. But the good thing is it doesn't itch."
"Yea, but what about the red bumps there," she said.
"Well, it's not like anyone is going to see them but you!"
"You're damn right," she said, and then she left. I thought it was funny!
Anyway, I knew that she was going out on Saturday night for her friends birthday. I stayed home and while it was kinda torture, after the kids were in bed, I ended up reading some of the great blogs out there, and watching a little porn. It was stupid, because all it did was make me really horny and I ended up edging myself! I finally stopped myself and watched a movie.
I was up when she got home at about 11 a.m. I was in bed watching tv. She was nicely buzzed, but no where near drunk. She got ready for bed and climbed in with me. She snuggled up to me, we talked about the night and then she started to play with me through my boxers. I was really enjoying it, instantly got hard, and she kept going till she knew it was going to be too much. When she'd stop, she just lay there watching tv with me.
After the last time, though, she had fallen asleep. So there I was, leaking, hugely hard, and she was done.
The next day, I was very randy, and was all over all day. I was really hoping that last night I would finish my time restrained. The day took a turn for the worse when we were supposed to get something delivered to our house and then found out it would take several more weeks. That really pissed her off (not either of our fault), but we ended up getting a little heated. My fault, because I should have just recognized that she was made at the situation, and not me.
Anyway, that put the damper on the day. We spent the rest of the day with friends, which put her in a better mood. But by the time we got home, the house was a freaking mess. I spent the rest of the day trying to please her by cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming the house and doing the dishes. Alas, it was not to be. She had to finish work and then went to bed.
She definitely thanked me for my work on Sunday, but I'm still waiting!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Thursday Night, the 5th
Now that it's been almost a week, I'll try to do my best to replay Thursday night.
After the great dinner, she went to watch her favorite show, Project Runway, while I finished cleaning the table and all of the dishes. Once I was done, I sat with her to watch Project Runway. While I hate reality TV, I can at least sit through this show without trying to kill myself.
After the show was over, she stood up and said "let's go upstairs now." She had a big smile on her face. While I knew it was coming, I was still feeling a happy anxiousness and nervousness. I was feeling that way due to the unknown. I didn't know what she was going to do!
She grabbed a scarf and said we'd use that. Now, we have a restraint system. We have many cuffs, with straps, that allow you to wrap around a 4 post bed and get you spread eagle. We have other restraints too. I had been picturing this type of set up all along. When she said we'd use the scarf, I was surprised and taken aback, so I blurted out "Really? What about the restraints. You don't have four scarfs," and I kind of continued to ramble. In retrospect, it was partly because I was so excited and surprised at the same time.
Her response smacked me back to reality. With a firm voice, she said "Are you really telling me how to do this?" I immediately thought, "Oh, I'm no idiot. I'm blowing it. I need to fix this." So I began apologizing, trying to explain what I meant. I started explaining the benefits of the cuffs, why they were better, why they were easier and that I was just trying to help. Again, in retrospect, I am an idiot, because that came out wrong too! Luckily for me, I think she found it amusing and simply said "We are doing it my way. Now get upstairs."
Once there, she made me get completely naked, had me lie on the bed, and then she tied the scarf around my wrist, around a bed post and then around my other wrist. She went into the closet and came out wearing a red teddy. Of course, by this time, I was already hard.
She came around the bed, sat down, and then said "you'll just have to sit there while I read my book." Wicked woman!
I politely asked if I could watch tv, but was denied. Instead, she did allow me to read a magazine. This proved slightly difficult given the restraints on my hands, but doable. This went on for about 20 minutes. 20 minutes of torture/anticipation on my part!
Without warning, she put her book down, rolled over, and grabbed my cock. She lightly rubbed. Lightly bit. Lightly flicked. Scrapped her nails along my cock and balls. I was on fire. Bucking, moaning, thrashing. She could tell I was extremely worked up and said "you had better not cum while I'm doing this. You won't be happy if you do."
I cannot adequately express in words how tantalizing close to orgasm I was. But more importantly, I cannot adequately express in words how this was affecting me mentally. She was laughing while teasing me. Not a cruel laugh, but a happy, amused laugh. That she was enjoying it so much, that she was embracing the Femdom, that I had been in chastity for so long, that she was teasing me so well, that I was restrained, it was all just so sublime.
She could tell how close I was, so she said I needed a little break. She rolled back to her side, and continued to read her book. Leaking copious amounts of pre-cum, harder than ever, and charged up beyond belief, the sudden stopping had me shuddering. I closed my eyes, simultaneously trying to ignore what had just happened to calm myself, and replaying what just happened because it was so intense. It was difficult. I asked if I could watch tv to take my mind off of everything and calm down, and she let me.
She turned the tv on and it was a football show and asked it that was o.k. Honestly, I couldn't respond. I just said "yea, whatever. I don't care. Whatever is good." She laughed and continued reading her book.
Eventually, she went through another teasing session and the declared "that's enough." At that point, I had logged 42 minutes restrained. I felt as if I had been restrained for several hours. Realizing that I still had 1:18 more minutes to be restrained before I got to cum was somewhat distressing, but nothing could take away from that great night.
The night, however, wasn't over.
After the restraints were taken off, she climbed on me and began to aggressively kiss me. She demanded I make her cum, so I rolled her on back and started going crazy on her. While I was going down on her, she surprised me by saying "I need you to fuck me right now, but don't you dare cum." She usually cums easily when I eat her, but tonight, she clearly wanted to be penetrated.
The surprise to me was that I wondered whether she realized that there was no way I could fuck her tonight, if I wasn't supposed to cum!!! Especially not after those two teasing sessions. I mean, it had been over two weeks in chastity at that point. That was crazy talk.
Despite my thoughts, I immediately got up and entered her. I started slowly, concentrating on not going too fast to send me over the edge. Still, after about a minute, I told her I couldn't continue without cumming. I asked her if she wanted me to use the vibrator on her. She was disappointed that I couldn't last, but growled "yes."
I ran to the closet, returned and continued with the vibrator. After her very intense orgasm, we stayed very close. We talked. We talked alot.
The night was a great great night. Better than I had anticipated.
It did bring up many questions that are still unanswered for me. Whether she wants to continue this even after our little game. Whether she will become more and more Dominate. While she has enjoyed doing some of this, there are many days in between anything sexually happening, but even in those down days, there isn't any Femdom stuff happening either.
I know she enjoys the control aspect in bed. I know that I have a much higher libido than she does, so I know that I'll want sex 3-4 times a week to her one time. I know that I would like more of a Femdom relationship and I think for her it's more of a novelty thing, as opposed to an every day thing.
Again, we shall see. I do realize that we've only been doing this for about a month and expecting a huge change so early is completely unrealistic.
After the great dinner, she went to watch her favorite show, Project Runway, while I finished cleaning the table and all of the dishes. Once I was done, I sat with her to watch Project Runway. While I hate reality TV, I can at least sit through this show without trying to kill myself.
After the show was over, she stood up and said "let's go upstairs now." She had a big smile on her face. While I knew it was coming, I was still feeling a happy anxiousness and nervousness. I was feeling that way due to the unknown. I didn't know what she was going to do!
She grabbed a scarf and said we'd use that. Now, we have a restraint system. We have many cuffs, with straps, that allow you to wrap around a 4 post bed and get you spread eagle. We have other restraints too. I had been picturing this type of set up all along. When she said we'd use the scarf, I was surprised and taken aback, so I blurted out "Really? What about the restraints. You don't have four scarfs," and I kind of continued to ramble. In retrospect, it was partly because I was so excited and surprised at the same time.
Her response smacked me back to reality. With a firm voice, she said "Are you really telling me how to do this?" I immediately thought, "Oh, I'm no idiot. I'm blowing it. I need to fix this." So I began apologizing, trying to explain what I meant. I started explaining the benefits of the cuffs, why they were better, why they were easier and that I was just trying to help. Again, in retrospect, I am an idiot, because that came out wrong too! Luckily for me, I think she found it amusing and simply said "We are doing it my way. Now get upstairs."
Once there, she made me get completely naked, had me lie on the bed, and then she tied the scarf around my wrist, around a bed post and then around my other wrist. She went into the closet and came out wearing a red teddy. Of course, by this time, I was already hard.
She came around the bed, sat down, and then said "you'll just have to sit there while I read my book." Wicked woman!
I politely asked if I could watch tv, but was denied. Instead, she did allow me to read a magazine. This proved slightly difficult given the restraints on my hands, but doable. This went on for about 20 minutes. 20 minutes of torture/anticipation on my part!
Without warning, she put her book down, rolled over, and grabbed my cock. She lightly rubbed. Lightly bit. Lightly flicked. Scrapped her nails along my cock and balls. I was on fire. Bucking, moaning, thrashing. She could tell I was extremely worked up and said "you had better not cum while I'm doing this. You won't be happy if you do."
I cannot adequately express in words how tantalizing close to orgasm I was. But more importantly, I cannot adequately express in words how this was affecting me mentally. She was laughing while teasing me. Not a cruel laugh, but a happy, amused laugh. That she was enjoying it so much, that she was embracing the Femdom, that I had been in chastity for so long, that she was teasing me so well, that I was restrained, it was all just so sublime.
She could tell how close I was, so she said I needed a little break. She rolled back to her side, and continued to read her book. Leaking copious amounts of pre-cum, harder than ever, and charged up beyond belief, the sudden stopping had me shuddering. I closed my eyes, simultaneously trying to ignore what had just happened to calm myself, and replaying what just happened because it was so intense. It was difficult. I asked if I could watch tv to take my mind off of everything and calm down, and she let me.
She turned the tv on and it was a football show and asked it that was o.k. Honestly, I couldn't respond. I just said "yea, whatever. I don't care. Whatever is good." She laughed and continued reading her book.
Eventually, she went through another teasing session and the declared "that's enough." At that point, I had logged 42 minutes restrained. I felt as if I had been restrained for several hours. Realizing that I still had 1:18 more minutes to be restrained before I got to cum was somewhat distressing, but nothing could take away from that great night.
The night, however, wasn't over.
After the restraints were taken off, she climbed on me and began to aggressively kiss me. She demanded I make her cum, so I rolled her on back and started going crazy on her. While I was going down on her, she surprised me by saying "I need you to fuck me right now, but don't you dare cum." She usually cums easily when I eat her, but tonight, she clearly wanted to be penetrated.
The surprise to me was that I wondered whether she realized that there was no way I could fuck her tonight, if I wasn't supposed to cum!!! Especially not after those two teasing sessions. I mean, it had been over two weeks in chastity at that point. That was crazy talk.
Despite my thoughts, I immediately got up and entered her. I started slowly, concentrating on not going too fast to send me over the edge. Still, after about a minute, I told her I couldn't continue without cumming. I asked her if she wanted me to use the vibrator on her. She was disappointed that I couldn't last, but growled "yes."
I ran to the closet, returned and continued with the vibrator. After her very intense orgasm, we stayed very close. We talked. We talked alot.
The night was a great great night. Better than I had anticipated.
It did bring up many questions that are still unanswered for me. Whether she wants to continue this even after our little game. Whether she will become more and more Dominate. While she has enjoyed doing some of this, there are many days in between anything sexually happening, but even in those down days, there isn't any Femdom stuff happening either.
I know she enjoys the control aspect in bed. I know that I have a much higher libido than she does, so I know that I'll want sex 3-4 times a week to her one time. I know that I would like more of a Femdom relationship and I think for her it's more of a novelty thing, as opposed to an every day thing.
Again, we shall see. I do realize that we've only been doing this for about a month and expecting a huge change so early is completely unrealistic.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Chastity
I haven't been able to get to updating what happened Thursday night. Mainly, it's because a lot happened.
So, before I update Thursday night, I wanted to address my own experience so far with Chastity. (That's somewhat of a spoiler, because that means it didn't happen on Thursday night!)
This is officially the longest I've gone being denied by my wife. And, since I've never been involved in any "denial" games, it's the longest I've ever gone in my life, because I could always masturbate before.
So it's been interesting to me to see how my responses/feelings have evolved over this long period of denial. (At least long for me. I know others have gone much much longer.)
It's tough to explain what I've been feeling because one description is not all encompassing. I've felt sexual frustration, anxiety, desire, inability to concentrate, huge desire for my wife, and continual wondering when it will end. Those feelings increased and intensified day by day.
Initially, I believed that it would keep increasing every day until the end. But, a funny thing happened at about 2 weeks. At two weeks, the feelings, while still very strong, started to lower. I mean, they weren't as intense. While they lowered, they were still more intense than they were at day 1 or 2 into Chastity. Thinking of it as a graph with intensity on the vertical line and time on the horizontal line, it was a steady increase, then a plateau at week 2 weeks, then a decrease about a quarter of the way down, and then a long steady straight line plateau. It's like a calm set in.
It's still intense, but not all encompassing now. It's like a new normal, and it got me to thinking that this is the new normal that I would want forever. Not that I want to be denied forever. But I would like for the control to be hers, so that I would be at this level of intense in our relationship. Where she becomes more and more Dominate, where she enjoys it to the point where she comes to the realization that this would be the norm she wants. Where she would enjoy the Femdom aspect and doesn't do it only when we are doing the "game", but that it's how we interact.
I'm not at all optimistic that this where it will end up, but we'll see. It's not like I'm expecting her to go from rather vanilla to hardcore kink in a matter of a month or two.
Good thing is that we're together for the long haul, we have an extremely strong loving relationship already and it's a great sign she was open to try this in the first place!
So, before I update Thursday night, I wanted to address my own experience so far with Chastity. (That's somewhat of a spoiler, because that means it didn't happen on Thursday night!)
This is officially the longest I've gone being denied by my wife. And, since I've never been involved in any "denial" games, it's the longest I've ever gone in my life, because I could always masturbate before.
So it's been interesting to me to see how my responses/feelings have evolved over this long period of denial. (At least long for me. I know others have gone much much longer.)
It's tough to explain what I've been feeling because one description is not all encompassing. I've felt sexual frustration, anxiety, desire, inability to concentrate, huge desire for my wife, and continual wondering when it will end. Those feelings increased and intensified day by day.
Initially, I believed that it would keep increasing every day until the end. But, a funny thing happened at about 2 weeks. At two weeks, the feelings, while still very strong, started to lower. I mean, they weren't as intense. While they lowered, they were still more intense than they were at day 1 or 2 into Chastity. Thinking of it as a graph with intensity on the vertical line and time on the horizontal line, it was a steady increase, then a plateau at week 2 weeks, then a decrease about a quarter of the way down, and then a long steady straight line plateau. It's like a calm set in.
It's still intense, but not all encompassing now. It's like a new normal, and it got me to thinking that this is the new normal that I would want forever. Not that I want to be denied forever. But I would like for the control to be hers, so that I would be at this level of intense in our relationship. Where she becomes more and more Dominate, where she enjoys it to the point where she comes to the realization that this would be the norm she wants. Where she would enjoy the Femdom aspect and doesn't do it only when we are doing the "game", but that it's how we interact.
I'm not at all optimistic that this where it will end up, but we'll see. It's not like I'm expecting her to go from rather vanilla to hardcore kink in a matter of a month or two.
Good thing is that we're together for the long haul, we have an extremely strong loving relationship already and it's a great sign she was open to try this in the first place!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Nothing's Happening - But It Will
Never would have thought it when I started this, but I find that I'm extremely wordy. I'm trying to keep the posts shorter, but it just seems like I've got a whole boat load of stuff that I end up saying.
I don't think I ever went over the rest of the "objectives" that I had to complete before I got to cum. The objectives could be done in any order. The five were:
1) Wear eye shadow for a day;
2) Wear the Burt's Bees Lip Balm;
3) 3 minutes of spanking;
4) Be restrained for 2 full hours. (They don't have to be continuous, just a total of 2 hours); and
5) Make dinner for her, serve dinner to her, clean everything, make drinks for her all night, and then serve her in anyway for the rest of the night.
(Surprisingly, the shaving and the ice cube were not a part of the game.)
So far, I've done the Burt's Bees Lip Balm (still doing it) and we've had the 3 minutes of spanking. As for the rest, read on.
Nothing has been going on between us sexually since the ice cube day. I didn't say anything for fear of pressuring her. Finally, on Tuesday, we were talking on the phone and she was explaining how busy of a day and how bad of day she was having. I seized that opportunity to try to be playful, hopefully sparking a response from her. I asked if she wanted to have her Dinner night tonight, to make her feel better. She was immediately receptive to that idea, making me immediately start searching my favorite recipe site www.epicurious.com for something to make for her.
Unfortunately, by the time I got home from work, the kids had worn her down. She was very tired, and very hungry, and didn't really want to wait for the 2 hours for me to make dinner for her. I was disappointed, but understood. I explained that I could make it for her on Thursday, since she was working on Wednesday night. She thought that was a good idea. I still made dinner for her, just not that "type" of dinner.
After the kids were in bed and she was on the couch watching TV, I went over to her, hugged her and lay with her. We began talking about the day, etc., and even the aborted dinner issue.
The really good news was that by our discussion, we planned on Thursday being the night for her dinner. She also expressed that she would restrain me that day too. She suggested I wear the eye shadow today at work today, so that my release could come on Thursday.
It was a bittersweet thing, though, because while it was clear that she was enjoying the game, enjoying being "in charge", it was also clear from our discussion that this is not something she really thinks about, or necessarily has an overriding desire to continue. My guess would be that if I never brought up her taking charge again, she'd never actually do it. It seems to me that in order for her to take charge, I would have to top from the bottom.
Then again, I'd rather top from the bottom and have Femdom in my relationship, regardless of however small, than not do it and have no Femdom in my relationship.
So while I'm sitting her at work, wearing eye shadow (a very light brown - and I'm "lucky", you can't really see my eyelids too much anyway, so it's not very noticable), and the Lip Balm (which turns me on greatly), and I'm getting very excited about Thursday, I'm also approaching it with trepidation as to the future. If she does restrain me for 2 hours and I get my release that day, that's the end of the "game" that I created. What then?
I don't think I ever went over the rest of the "objectives" that I had to complete before I got to cum. The objectives could be done in any order. The five were:
1) Wear eye shadow for a day;
2) Wear the Burt's Bees Lip Balm;
3) 3 minutes of spanking;
4) Be restrained for 2 full hours. (They don't have to be continuous, just a total of 2 hours); and
5) Make dinner for her, serve dinner to her, clean everything, make drinks for her all night, and then serve her in anyway for the rest of the night.
(Surprisingly, the shaving and the ice cube were not a part of the game.)
So far, I've done the Burt's Bees Lip Balm (still doing it) and we've had the 3 minutes of spanking. As for the rest, read on.
Nothing has been going on between us sexually since the ice cube day. I didn't say anything for fear of pressuring her. Finally, on Tuesday, we were talking on the phone and she was explaining how busy of a day and how bad of day she was having. I seized that opportunity to try to be playful, hopefully sparking a response from her. I asked if she wanted to have her Dinner night tonight, to make her feel better. She was immediately receptive to that idea, making me immediately start searching my favorite recipe site www.epicurious.com for something to make for her.
Unfortunately, by the time I got home from work, the kids had worn her down. She was very tired, and very hungry, and didn't really want to wait for the 2 hours for me to make dinner for her. I was disappointed, but understood. I explained that I could make it for her on Thursday, since she was working on Wednesday night. She thought that was a good idea. I still made dinner for her, just not that "type" of dinner.
After the kids were in bed and she was on the couch watching TV, I went over to her, hugged her and lay with her. We began talking about the day, etc., and even the aborted dinner issue.
The really good news was that by our discussion, we planned on Thursday being the night for her dinner. She also expressed that she would restrain me that day too. She suggested I wear the eye shadow today at work today, so that my release could come on Thursday.
It was a bittersweet thing, though, because while it was clear that she was enjoying the game, enjoying being "in charge", it was also clear from our discussion that this is not something she really thinks about, or necessarily has an overriding desire to continue. My guess would be that if I never brought up her taking charge again, she'd never actually do it. It seems to me that in order for her to take charge, I would have to top from the bottom.
Then again, I'd rather top from the bottom and have Femdom in my relationship, regardless of however small, than not do it and have no Femdom in my relationship.
So while I'm sitting her at work, wearing eye shadow (a very light brown - and I'm "lucky", you can't really see my eyelids too much anyway, so it's not very noticable), and the Lip Balm (which turns me on greatly), and I'm getting very excited about Thursday, I'm also approaching it with trepidation as to the future. If she does restrain me for 2 hours and I get my release that day, that's the end of the "game" that I created. What then?
Monday, November 2, 2009
Starting To Go Crazy
It's been almost two weeks. I'm really starting to lose focus on work and can't concentrate. I'm just wondering whether she'll tie me up tonight, whether it'll be tomorrow, or whenever!
I haven't said anything to her because of her situation, but man, it's getting hard.
I haven't said anything to her because of her situation, but man, it's getting hard.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Continuation of Tuesday Night
After getting the wine for her, and I was rather charged up at that point, she suggested we go upstairs and watch tv in bed together.
Our time there was 99% normal, but she was still exerting her dominance in small ways. She complained that her feet were cold, presented them to me and said "make my feet warm." She told me to get her another glass of wine. We watched what she wanted to watch.
Hey, I realize that compared to many other people out there, this is extremely mild stuff. Honestly, my desires run much stronger and deeper than what she's doing. The most important thing to me, however, is that she's agreed to do it after I proposed it to her, and she has been changing and embracing the idea. I mean, for someone who isn't naturally Dominate or does not even trend that way, they won't become a Dom at the drop of a hat. Most of us who are Subs have had these feelings for a very long time - as early as a little kid to the early teen years. I know that my wife has not had Dom feelings at all. So I've been thinking about being a sub for more than 20 years, while she has not. My point is only that any change towards being a Dom is a very good thing.
Anyway, I was still on edge a little, though, because I still didn't know whether she had even received the long email. I sorta suspected that she had, partly due to the change in her demeanor, but was still not sure. Eventually, she sorta blurted out "by the way, I did receive the long email today. I was with a client, so I was like "ahhhh" when I got it, but I did read it." She explained that she was happy with the way things were going, but that she wasn't an "every night type girl." I wasn't sure what that last comment meant, especially since she had been more dominant that night. I did think that she wasn't going to "play" every night, meaning that she wasn't going to do sexual things every night.
Once it was time for bed, she told me to get her toothbrush and other bedtime routine stuff ready for her. She got into bed and then went to sleep rather quickly. Again, I was a little disappointed, but not at all surprised.
And then, things got interesting. She was restless that night, squirming around, but still asleep. At about 1:00 a.m., she got out of bed, and actually growled! She said, "You're making me too warm!!" and got some water. I thought it was rather funny as she wasn't really mad at me, but apparently I had been snuggling her so much at night that I was, well, making her too warm.
Upon getting back into bed, I rolled on top of her, kissed her and apologized for making her too warm. She thought that was funny and began kissing me back. She sleeps in nothing but a thong, so my instant steel hard erection was pressing right into her panties. She started kissing back aggressively and then rolled me over, so I was on my back and she was straddling me.
Grabbing my hands over my head, she continued kissing me and grinding herself on my cock. For those of you have ever practiced chastity, you have to realize that the term "premature ejaculation" no longer applies. Why? Because, essentially, you're so f'ing horny all day long, for very long periods of time, that stimulation of any sustained time can put you over the edge! (Or maybe that's just me!)
She whipped off her panties, grabbed my hands over me head again, and then slid right up to my face. No words were spoken, but obviously, no words were necessary. Her pussy was so wet and sweet and her clit already engorged. I went to town on her. She was really grinding herself on my face that I could only breath through my nose at certain times! I would make sure to take huge breaths whenever I got the chance.
She had an orgasm really quickly, but stayed on. Most of the time, once she has an orgasm, she likes to relax for at least a minute before starting again. This time, though, after the first orgasm, she kept grinding, but at a slower more leisurely pace. That didn't last too long, as she gradually got more and more intense and had another strong orgasm.
Eating her out like that, being this long into chastity, etc., well, I'm literally felt like I was going to cum with absolutely no touching of my cock. While eating her out, it definitely felt like I was going to cum, and then after she was done cumming twice and resting on my chest, the whole scene made me more and more aroused that the feeling of cumming was stronger at that point. That surprised me. I was breathing very heavily and actually concentrating on not cumming. I could not believe it.
She lay back down, and I crawled back on top of her, kissing her again. She reached for my cock, but I told her that any touching would send me off. She laughed. She thanked me and said it was time to go to sleep. She was asleep in about 2 minutes. Me? I stayed awake for about another hour, and then did not sleep well for the rest of the night.
When people ask why someone would want Tease & Denial, or Femdom, all I can say is that if you re-read this post, and other post about Tuesday, if you can't see it, then you won't ever see it. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but wow. I am writing this on Friday, and I'm still getting extremely hard just re-playing the whole thing in my mind again.
A wonderful journey indeed!
Our time there was 99% normal, but she was still exerting her dominance in small ways. She complained that her feet were cold, presented them to me and said "make my feet warm." She told me to get her another glass of wine. We watched what she wanted to watch.
Hey, I realize that compared to many other people out there, this is extremely mild stuff. Honestly, my desires run much stronger and deeper than what she's doing. The most important thing to me, however, is that she's agreed to do it after I proposed it to her, and she has been changing and embracing the idea. I mean, for someone who isn't naturally Dominate or does not even trend that way, they won't become a Dom at the drop of a hat. Most of us who are Subs have had these feelings for a very long time - as early as a little kid to the early teen years. I know that my wife has not had Dom feelings at all. So I've been thinking about being a sub for more than 20 years, while she has not. My point is only that any change towards being a Dom is a very good thing.
Anyway, I was still on edge a little, though, because I still didn't know whether she had even received the long email. I sorta suspected that she had, partly due to the change in her demeanor, but was still not sure. Eventually, she sorta blurted out "by the way, I did receive the long email today. I was with a client, so I was like "ahhhh" when I got it, but I did read it." She explained that she was happy with the way things were going, but that she wasn't an "every night type girl." I wasn't sure what that last comment meant, especially since she had been more dominant that night. I did think that she wasn't going to "play" every night, meaning that she wasn't going to do sexual things every night.
Once it was time for bed, she told me to get her toothbrush and other bedtime routine stuff ready for her. She got into bed and then went to sleep rather quickly. Again, I was a little disappointed, but not at all surprised.
And then, things got interesting. She was restless that night, squirming around, but still asleep. At about 1:00 a.m., she got out of bed, and actually growled! She said, "You're making me too warm!!" and got some water. I thought it was rather funny as she wasn't really mad at me, but apparently I had been snuggling her so much at night that I was, well, making her too warm.
Upon getting back into bed, I rolled on top of her, kissed her and apologized for making her too warm. She thought that was funny and began kissing me back. She sleeps in nothing but a thong, so my instant steel hard erection was pressing right into her panties. She started kissing back aggressively and then rolled me over, so I was on my back and she was straddling me.
Grabbing my hands over my head, she continued kissing me and grinding herself on my cock. For those of you have ever practiced chastity, you have to realize that the term "premature ejaculation" no longer applies. Why? Because, essentially, you're so f'ing horny all day long, for very long periods of time, that stimulation of any sustained time can put you over the edge! (Or maybe that's just me!)
She whipped off her panties, grabbed my hands over me head again, and then slid right up to my face. No words were spoken, but obviously, no words were necessary. Her pussy was so wet and sweet and her clit already engorged. I went to town on her. She was really grinding herself on my face that I could only breath through my nose at certain times! I would make sure to take huge breaths whenever I got the chance.
She had an orgasm really quickly, but stayed on. Most of the time, once she has an orgasm, she likes to relax for at least a minute before starting again. This time, though, after the first orgasm, she kept grinding, but at a slower more leisurely pace. That didn't last too long, as she gradually got more and more intense and had another strong orgasm.
Eating her out like that, being this long into chastity, etc., well, I'm literally felt like I was going to cum with absolutely no touching of my cock. While eating her out, it definitely felt like I was going to cum, and then after she was done cumming twice and resting on my chest, the whole scene made me more and more aroused that the feeling of cumming was stronger at that point. That surprised me. I was breathing very heavily and actually concentrating on not cumming. I could not believe it.
She lay back down, and I crawled back on top of her, kissing her again. She reached for my cock, but I told her that any touching would send me off. She laughed. She thanked me and said it was time to go to sleep. She was asleep in about 2 minutes. Me? I stayed awake for about another hour, and then did not sleep well for the rest of the night.
When people ask why someone would want Tease & Denial, or Femdom, all I can say is that if you re-read this post, and other post about Tuesday, if you can't see it, then you won't ever see it. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but wow. I am writing this on Friday, and I'm still getting extremely hard just re-playing the whole thing in my mind again.
A wonderful journey indeed!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
She's Stressed
This won't come as a shock to anyone now days, but she's been stressed with typical American Family things: kids, bills, work, kids' school, and other commitments. She has a sales type job, which hasn't been as fruitful as she would have hoped, which is causing us both stress.
We talked about all of this last night, and she was almost apologizing about not doing more stuff lately, especially over the weekend. She even expressed that it must be torture for me since I haven't been able to cum in so long. I laughed at that, re-assuring her and telling her that my condition was voluntary to her. That we came to the agreement that this is how it would occur, that she should enjoy it, have fun with it and do whatever she wanted. I was there for her.
After our talk (which was in bed), I asked her if she wanted to have a relaxing orgasm so she could sleep better. When we usually make love, it's more frenetic, fast paced and intense. This time, however, I took my time, leisurely bringing her off.
She was very appreciative and I was very happy. I was ready to go to sleep, but she had other things in mind. She rolled on top of me to take off my panties (yes, she was requiring me to wear panties to bed - plain black cotton - very comfortable.) When she touched my panties, she noticed the huge wet spot that had formed from being so aroused when she allowed me to give her an orgasm. She said "Oh, looks like we had an accident!"
"No, that's just my pre-cum from being so horny," I said.
"Wow, that's a lot of pre-cum!" was her response.
Just that exchange almost made me cum! Little did I know at the time that was the least of my worries. She started to slowly and lightly lick my cock from top to bottom, but never sucking. She paid particular attention to sucking my balls, which by this time were throbbing. Just doing this literally brought me to brink, requiring me to tell her to stop or I'd lose it.
With one long slow suck of my cock, she said "You're going to be hard a long time tonight, aren't you? Do you need to go take a cold shower."
I did need to take one, but it was too late. It was a fitful sleep for me, but she was able to roll over and get sound asleep quickly.
Before going to sleep, however, we had one last exchange, in which she expressed happiness about our current game and that we were definitely making love more often and that she, of course, was really enjoying her power.
We talked about all of this last night, and she was almost apologizing about not doing more stuff lately, especially over the weekend. She even expressed that it must be torture for me since I haven't been able to cum in so long. I laughed at that, re-assuring her and telling her that my condition was voluntary to her. That we came to the agreement that this is how it would occur, that she should enjoy it, have fun with it and do whatever she wanted. I was there for her.
After our talk (which was in bed), I asked her if she wanted to have a relaxing orgasm so she could sleep better. When we usually make love, it's more frenetic, fast paced and intense. This time, however, I took my time, leisurely bringing her off.
She was very appreciative and I was very happy. I was ready to go to sleep, but she had other things in mind. She rolled on top of me to take off my panties (yes, she was requiring me to wear panties to bed - plain black cotton - very comfortable.) When she touched my panties, she noticed the huge wet spot that had formed from being so aroused when she allowed me to give her an orgasm. She said "Oh, looks like we had an accident!"
"No, that's just my pre-cum from being so horny," I said.
"Wow, that's a lot of pre-cum!" was her response.
Just that exchange almost made me cum! Little did I know at the time that was the least of my worries. She started to slowly and lightly lick my cock from top to bottom, but never sucking. She paid particular attention to sucking my balls, which by this time were throbbing. Just doing this literally brought me to brink, requiring me to tell her to stop or I'd lose it.
With one long slow suck of my cock, she said "You're going to be hard a long time tonight, aren't you? Do you need to go take a cold shower."
I did need to take one, but it was too late. It was a fitful sleep for me, but she was able to roll over and get sound asleep quickly.
Before going to sleep, however, we had one last exchange, in which she expressed happiness about our current game and that we were definitely making love more often and that she, of course, was really enjoying her power.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Uneventful Weekend
So, the countdown continues, and I'm no closer to the end than before the weekend!! She hasn't restrained me at all, so I've logged zero minutes. I still have 2 hours restrained until I can cum. I'm beginning to think that I've got a long long time.
The "be careful of what you wish for" mantra will be thought by many people. While I would love to cum more frequently, or even be played with more, I do not regret giving the power to her. She's got it, it's hers and she can do whatever she wants.
Now that I'm thinking of it, I'm still very far from the end. I have 5 objectives to finish. 3 of them can be done while being restrained, so I'm not worried about that, but the 5th one is a complete dinner, just for her, including all cleaning and then I am required to serve her drinks and other things for the remainder of the night.
That clock at the bottom is going to be going for a long time!
The "be careful of what you wish for" mantra will be thought by many people. While I would love to cum more frequently, or even be played with more, I do not regret giving the power to her. She's got it, it's hers and she can do whatever she wants.
Now that I'm thinking of it, I'm still very far from the end. I have 5 objectives to finish. 3 of them can be done while being restrained, so I'm not worried about that, but the 5th one is a complete dinner, just for her, including all cleaning and then I am required to serve her drinks and other things for the remainder of the night.
That clock at the bottom is going to be going for a long time!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
We Played Last Night
My wife was feeling much better, so we ended up going out for a wonderful dinner with some friends. Great food, engaging conversations and a new beer I had never tasted before. All in all, a fun night.
After getting home and dealing with the kids, it was about 10:30 and she was tired. We headed to bed, but there was no indication from her that anything would happen. I know that when she gets like that, she'll usually be asleep in about 2 minutes of getting into bed.
I was anxious and, frankly, horny, but was also curious to see if she was going to play with me, or at least wanted an orgasm before going to bed. While she was getting ready for bed, I had the TV. Unfortunately, she basically got into bed and started to go to sleep. Having her there beside me was tough to not just turn over and beg for her to let me cum.
I guess before going on further, I'll have to explain a little bit more about the game. Essentially, it was a dice game, which decides not only the "objectives" I have to accomplish, but also how many days I won't be able to cum.
I got kind of screwed in the game, because initially, I rolled a four, which meant I only had to go 4 days without being able to cum. It's always her perogative, of course, to extend the time. My happiness at the short time frame was short lived, becauses I ended up having to accomplish 5 objectives. One of those objectives is being restrained for two full hours until I get to cum, regardless of the 4 days. So, until I log a total of 2 hours being restrained, regardless of how long it takes, I don't get to cum. I also have to finish the other four objectives.
So, last night, I knew I wasn't going to be able to cum, but I couldn't resist touching her as she was next to me. Gentle caresses of her legs, arms, and thighs didn't really get her going. I figured she was just sleepy, to I boldly rolled on top of her and started kissing her. Her reaction? A great big smile ..... or more of a smirk ..... and then she said "oh, so I guess we're going to do this."
She immiedately grabbed my already super hard cock and started jerking me off. I was so hard and so horny, and she was going so fast, that I think she forgot that she shouldn't let me cum! I almost had to stop her myself before I blew.
I began licking and sucking her nipples, when she started pushing my head down. Taking the not so subtle hint, I eagerly went down and starting eating her out. She sighed contentedly as I went to town on her. Not to brag, but I'm really good at this aspect of lovemaking - always have been. (Probably one of the reasons she married me!!!)
It didn't take long before she was having a thundering orgasm. Now, as I'm sure you can imagine, I was unbelievably hard. I slid up to her and we began kissing again. My cock was positioned right at her entrance. I looked at her and without speaking, I got the right to enter her. Bliss!!! Slow, sensual movement made her post-orgasm fucking very enjoyable.
After a while she pushed me out, said she was tired, and then, rather wickedly, said "I'll bet you wish you got to cum. You know, it was your idea and game." The lilt in her voice and smirk on her face was just too much. She slowing pulled up her panties, gave me a quick kiss, and then rolled over to sleep.
She was right - it was my idea and my game - and I loved every second of it so far!
Of course, even though we started the game several days ago, I have not spent even 1 second restrained, so I know that my days of not being able to cum are going to be very long.
After getting home and dealing with the kids, it was about 10:30 and she was tired. We headed to bed, but there was no indication from her that anything would happen. I know that when she gets like that, she'll usually be asleep in about 2 minutes of getting into bed.
I was anxious and, frankly, horny, but was also curious to see if she was going to play with me, or at least wanted an orgasm before going to bed. While she was getting ready for bed, I had the TV. Unfortunately, she basically got into bed and started to go to sleep. Having her there beside me was tough to not just turn over and beg for her to let me cum.
I guess before going on further, I'll have to explain a little bit more about the game. Essentially, it was a dice game, which decides not only the "objectives" I have to accomplish, but also how many days I won't be able to cum.
I got kind of screwed in the game, because initially, I rolled a four, which meant I only had to go 4 days without being able to cum. It's always her perogative, of course, to extend the time. My happiness at the short time frame was short lived, becauses I ended up having to accomplish 5 objectives. One of those objectives is being restrained for two full hours until I get to cum, regardless of the 4 days. So, until I log a total of 2 hours being restrained, regardless of how long it takes, I don't get to cum. I also have to finish the other four objectives.
So, last night, I knew I wasn't going to be able to cum, but I couldn't resist touching her as she was next to me. Gentle caresses of her legs, arms, and thighs didn't really get her going. I figured she was just sleepy, to I boldly rolled on top of her and started kissing her. Her reaction? A great big smile ..... or more of a smirk ..... and then she said "oh, so I guess we're going to do this."
She immiedately grabbed my already super hard cock and started jerking me off. I was so hard and so horny, and she was going so fast, that I think she forgot that she shouldn't let me cum! I almost had to stop her myself before I blew.
I began licking and sucking her nipples, when she started pushing my head down. Taking the not so subtle hint, I eagerly went down and starting eating her out. She sighed contentedly as I went to town on her. Not to brag, but I'm really good at this aspect of lovemaking - always have been. (Probably one of the reasons she married me!!!)
It didn't take long before she was having a thundering orgasm. Now, as I'm sure you can imagine, I was unbelievably hard. I slid up to her and we began kissing again. My cock was positioned right at her entrance. I looked at her and without speaking, I got the right to enter her. Bliss!!! Slow, sensual movement made her post-orgasm fucking very enjoyable.
After a while she pushed me out, said she was tired, and then, rather wickedly, said "I'll bet you wish you got to cum. You know, it was your idea and game." The lilt in her voice and smirk on her face was just too much. She slowing pulled up her panties, gave me a quick kiss, and then rolled over to sleep.
She was right - it was my idea and my game - and I loved every second of it so far!
Of course, even though we started the game several days ago, I have not spent even 1 second restrained, so I know that my days of not being able to cum are going to be very long.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Our History
There is so much background and information to get out there that I'm sorta overwhelmed and at a loss on where to start. Instead, I'll just go through what we've been experimenting with recently.
We've been married for longer than 10 years and we were fairly vanilla in our life and sex life. All along, I've been the one to be interested in D/S, Femdom or BDSM sexual play. We've engaged in various and infrequent aspects of all of those throughout the 10 years of marriage. Nothing sustained.
A couple of months ago, I approached her with the idea of a little tease and denial game. She didn't really understand it, so I explained that it would be fun for her to be in charge of any sexual contact between us, that essentially she could do anything she wanted and demand anything she wanted, all the while denying me any release until she wished.
She expressed some confusion, asking why I would want this and ask for clarification on what she could do, when etc. Why did I want this indeed? How do you explain the wants and desires of a sub? Clearly, the giving up of control to her is a huge turn on. For those guys who have never had the teasing, it does make you unbelievably horny. Sitting there, having someone give you blow job just to the point of no return, and then stopping, just makes you incredibly hard. Servicing her and then having to go to bed, all the while not knowing if she'll let you cum the next day, it's incredible.
Now, you've got to be doing this in a loving relationship, with a lot of communication. Because both party's needs have to be met. She can't simply ignore you and you can't simply beg her. Don't get me wrong - I'm not judging other people's ways of doing the Femdom or Tease & Denial - it's just that that method would never work for us.
And that's the key. It's for us. It's not something she is naturally drawn to and therefore I have to present these things to her. She certainly did not play with me every night. Nor did she tease me by email, or phone during the day, or at home with the kids around. We lived our normal lives. Some of the nights, after the we were in bed, she'd tease me, make me make her cum and then go to bed, but other nights we did nothing.
Despite what you might read in fantasy sites, I was not walking around with a hard on all day long. I was, however, walking around with a mental hard on. I was wondering throughout the day if tonight I'd be allowed to cum. I was wondering whether we'd get to play that night. I was extremely enthusiastic in making her cum. I was on edge (pun intended), wondering how far she would look into her personality and character to be a Dom. Our game did last about a week, and was highly pleasurable for me.
After our game was over and she had let me cum, I did approach her a couple of days later to get her feelings on what happened. It was the first time we had done any type of "fun" that was out of the vanilla arena in a long long time. So I was very hopeful she was interested in doing it again. She expressed that she did enjoy being in charge and did enjoy the teasing part.
This made me very happy, because not only did I foresee us doing it again in the future, but also because she liked it. As I'm sure many will agree, a person who doesn't like being a Dom is not going to be a good Dom!
Several weeks went by between us with normal, vanilla, relations. Those are fun too. But then I approached her about another game.
We just started two days ago. I'll update that as it goes on!!!!
We've been married for longer than 10 years and we were fairly vanilla in our life and sex life. All along, I've been the one to be interested in D/S, Femdom or BDSM sexual play. We've engaged in various and infrequent aspects of all of those throughout the 10 years of marriage. Nothing sustained.
A couple of months ago, I approached her with the idea of a little tease and denial game. She didn't really understand it, so I explained that it would be fun for her to be in charge of any sexual contact between us, that essentially she could do anything she wanted and demand anything she wanted, all the while denying me any release until she wished.
She expressed some confusion, asking why I would want this and ask for clarification on what she could do, when etc. Why did I want this indeed? How do you explain the wants and desires of a sub? Clearly, the giving up of control to her is a huge turn on. For those guys who have never had the teasing, it does make you unbelievably horny. Sitting there, having someone give you blow job just to the point of no return, and then stopping, just makes you incredibly hard. Servicing her and then having to go to bed, all the while not knowing if she'll let you cum the next day, it's incredible.
Now, you've got to be doing this in a loving relationship, with a lot of communication. Because both party's needs have to be met. She can't simply ignore you and you can't simply beg her. Don't get me wrong - I'm not judging other people's ways of doing the Femdom or Tease & Denial - it's just that that method would never work for us.
And that's the key. It's for us. It's not something she is naturally drawn to and therefore I have to present these things to her. She certainly did not play with me every night. Nor did she tease me by email, or phone during the day, or at home with the kids around. We lived our normal lives. Some of the nights, after the we were in bed, she'd tease me, make me make her cum and then go to bed, but other nights we did nothing.
Despite what you might read in fantasy sites, I was not walking around with a hard on all day long. I was, however, walking around with a mental hard on. I was wondering throughout the day if tonight I'd be allowed to cum. I was wondering whether we'd get to play that night. I was extremely enthusiastic in making her cum. I was on edge (pun intended), wondering how far she would look into her personality and character to be a Dom. Our game did last about a week, and was highly pleasurable for me.
After our game was over and she had let me cum, I did approach her a couple of days later to get her feelings on what happened. It was the first time we had done any type of "fun" that was out of the vanilla arena in a long long time. So I was very hopeful she was interested in doing it again. She expressed that she did enjoy being in charge and did enjoy the teasing part.
This made me very happy, because not only did I foresee us doing it again in the future, but also because she liked it. As I'm sure many will agree, a person who doesn't like being a Dom is not going to be a good Dom!
Several weeks went by between us with normal, vanilla, relations. Those are fun too. But then I approached her about another game.
We just started two days ago. I'll update that as it goes on!!!!
Introduction
This is a blog for my wife - to let her know how much I love her. It's also a way for her to understand what the hell is going on in my head.
The title of this Blog tells you a little about what I intend to do here. It's cliche, but life is a journey, and I'll be using this to give a glimpse into a small portion of that overall journey.
As you can see from the counter at the bottom of the page, we have recently begun delving into Female Domination (Femdom.) There are a million blogs out there on Femdom, a million other hardcore Femdom websites and a million other hyperspecific blogs on Femdom. You can find WLM (Wife Led Marriage) sites, Chastity sites, D/S, Cuckold etc., everywhere. While I like and appreciate those sites, this site will not include hardcore pornography, overly explicit sex talk, or photographs. It will focus more on what we are doing, how we are liking it, and most importantly, how I am feeling about it.
The title of this Blog tells you a little about what I intend to do here. It's cliche, but life is a journey, and I'll be using this to give a glimpse into a small portion of that overall journey.
As you can see from the counter at the bottom of the page, we have recently begun delving into Female Domination (Femdom.) There are a million blogs out there on Femdom, a million other hardcore Femdom websites and a million other hyperspecific blogs on Femdom. You can find WLM (Wife Led Marriage) sites, Chastity sites, D/S, Cuckold etc., everywhere. While I like and appreciate those sites, this site will not include hardcore pornography, overly explicit sex talk, or photographs. It will focus more on what we are doing, how we are liking it, and most importantly, how I am feeling about it.
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