A Wonderful Journey

Modern Family Did it Again

2012-02-09T13:39:00.001-08:00

I've mentioned the Modern Family TV show before, specifically as it had the cuckolding tinged episode.

Well, last night's episode included another little issue of a "cheating spouse", but but also some cross-dressing. For a very good description of the cross-dressing aspect, read "http://www.femulate.org/2012/02/betty-luke.html" Stana did a great summary and all I'd be doing is cutting and pasting hers if I tried to summarize it. (As Stana pointed out, you can watch the full episode here: http://abc.go.com/shows/modern-family) Anyway, the "sister dressed me" scenario is a typical fantasy for many cross-dressers, and I'm sure having two sisters willing and wanting to dress him up hit home to many viewers. What was most refreshing was the acceptance by the parents upon returning home. It's one thing to be accepted by siblings, but all too often the child is shunned by the parents.

The other sub-plot was a cheating spouse. It wasn't really cuckolding like addressed before, but it did involve another person hitting on the guy's wife in front him. The husband and wife had a potential client for the husband's real estate business come over for dinner. During the dinner, there was a mention that the dining room table needed to be fixed, but the husband said he left his tools in his office. The wife felt during the dinner that the client was hitting on her, and upon leaving the house, the client kissed her on the lips. This did not bother the husband at all, instead he was focusing on whether the person would become a client.

The fact that the husband did not see and/or appreciate the kiss made the wife a little angry. The next day, the client came over to the wife's house, while the husband was away, to fix her dining room table. He had his shirt off. When the husband came home, he thought nothing of it, even though the client said "I just came over to give your wife the tool she needed." Again, this did not bother the husband in the least since the client said he would give the listing for the house to the husband. The wife was angry at the husband for not being mad that the client was hitting on her. Now, it wasn't like the wife wanted the guy to hit on her, or that she was enjoying his attentions, it was just bothersome to her that her husband was not upset.

The interesting part, though, was the end. They ultimately went to the client's house for dinner and there, it was clear that the guy was not hitting on the wife. The wife apologized to the husband, and then the wife visibly relaxed. At that point she realized he wasn't hitting on her and she began to enjoy his company. The client told a joke and the wife began laughing and it appeared now, to the husband, that she liked the guy. It was only then that the husband got angry, because he felt that the wife was "falling" for the other guy. It wasn't really that he felt she was falling for him, but he was jealous that she seemed to really enjoy this other guy.

I've actually never really understood why some men freak out if someone hits on their wife if the wife is not reciprocating. I know that back in my single days, there were several times when I out and started casually talking to a woman, only to have a boyfriend/husband show up and get all pissy at me, telling me she was taken etc. I guess I know why - they are insecure about the relationship, but still. Seems more disrespectful to the woman since you apparently don't trust her or her love.

Very True

2012-02-08T11:17:00.001-08:00

Wish it were different, but it's not.

Hot, but not necessarily for me!

2012-01-31T13:01:00.000-08:00

This post isn't about my situation. Cut and paste the link about and watch the video, then continuing reading.

http://milflover1.tumblr.com/post/15245234654/such-a-hot-video-so-intense-loved-just

This is a great video. The fact that it's solely on her face is great. And man, is she expressive! Love her reactions. Watching her face was joyous. She was thoroughly enjoying it, you could tell that he was hitting her right buttons, going at the right speed and the right angle. I'm guessing with all that, of course, but the looks on her face were telling that story to me at least.

But then, the way it ended left me wondering, not only about the participants, but also the purpose of taping it. Is this amateur, or pro? If it's pro, it makes more sense, but if it's amateur, it is curious. Why? Because the guy in the video is selfish, yet the camera focus was fully on her!

I mean, this guy is doing very well with her, but then video ends like most porn. Just when he was going fast and it looked like she was going to cum - was getting to that point - he pulls out!!! Leaving her high and dry! He then (though you don't see it) cums in her mouth. Then the video ends and she seems o.k. with it!

Hey - I'm sure there are millions of men, and even women too, who are perfectly happy with that scenario in their sex life, but what the hell. Why is it o.k. for her to not cum? That's just the type of sex that is not o.k. with me. Unless I was told not to, I could never have just stopped right then! I would have had to bring her off to her satisfaction. I would have felt incomplete otherwise.

The other thing that truly annoys me about these types of videos is that anonymity of the guys. Again, assuming it's amateur, then why is the woman's face plastered all over the internet to see, but the guy is not. Was the publishing of this video o.k'd by the woman? If not, that's bad enough. But why is it that in so many of the amateur videos I see, the guy is not visible. Hey, if you're going to have a woman do the things to you that are done on these videos, and it's going to be posted on the internet, be man enough to take ownership of it.

(Oh, and I have to mention - she has a great manicure! Perfectly done nails. They don't look fake either. I have to get better at giving manicures so my wife's nails can look that good.)

Happy

2012-01-29T09:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, we had to go to the mall to fix an item of mine that had broken. When we got there, a guy in his mid 20's was helping me, asking questions about what was wrong, when did it stop working, etc., and my wife was sitting next to me listening. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Ultimately, it ended up where the item could not be fixed. So, the guy started giving me the options of what I could do - since I had the warranty, I could get an exact replacement for free, but that would be the very old version. I could then get a newer version for a good amount of money, the newest version for more money, and then there were two more "newest versions" with extras that cost even more and more money.

So I was sitting there, looking at the 5 options and I immediately just looked at her and the following conversation took place:

Me, looking at her: "what do you think?"

Her: "He'll get the newest version," and she pointed out which of the newest ones to get.

Worker, looking at me: "O.k., if you get that, what about the case?"

Me, looking at her, not saying anything.

Her: "Why don't you go get one of the cases on the wall. You can't have my old case because it's too girly."

Worker, kind of laughing, looking at me again: "All right, when you get the case, we'll put it on. Now, what about the warranty" (and then he went on to explain all the warranty options.

Me, looking at her, not saying anything.

Her: "He'll get the warranty."

Worker, kind of laughing again, started to ring it up.

After finishing ringing it up, the Worker just started talking to her about payment etc., not dealing with me anymore. In the process, she said to me "Why don't you go look at the cases", so I left to do just that.

What's funny about the whole thing was that the Worker seemed to be getting a kick out of the exchange. But you know what? I was perfectly happy and not embarrassed at all. I trust her, she's intelligent, better at those kinds of decisions, and I was very happy that she was in charge of all of that. Is that WLM? Is that Femdom? In a way, I think not. It's just who we are. It's who we are together. There is no specific discussion we have had where we "agreed" that we start a WLM. This is our relationship as it has naturally progressed.

That's not to say that I wouldn't love more things to be done overtly on her part as part of a WLM. This morning we were actually showering together and she mentioned that she had shaved her legs yesterday and didn't want to shave them today. Instead of me saying anything, I simply grabbed the razor, had her sit on the bench, and started shaving her legs for her.

Her statement about not wanting to shave her legs was NOT her way of getting me to shave her legs. It had nothing to do with that. She just didn't want to shave her legs. I took it upon myself to do it and she was very appreciative.

I loved what happened in the shower. The exchange, like what occurred at the store, was silent between us. There was no "demand" or "order" by her. I would love if she did that, but even though she didn't, I was still extremely happy to shave her legs. I know she enjoyed it thoroughly too.

Would I have loved it if she did order me to shave her legs? Absolutely. Am I sitting her now thinking that I'm not fulfilled because she didn't order me to shave her legs? Nope.

I am sitting here simply wishing that we had more time to spend together so that we can have experiences like we did this weekend. Even if we are simply going to the mall and taking showers together!

Christmas Shopping Story

2012-01-26T08:42:00.000-08:00

There is a relatively new blog called Strict Julie Spanks located at http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com/ and it's definitely something to read if you're interested in DD or WLM. She's an excellent writer. Very interesting posts, to say the least.

One of her posts, related to an impromptu panty shopping trip, reminded me of something that happened to me just last December, but not nearly as interesting or exciting as her story.

But ......... I was actually shopping for stocking stuffers for my wife, and since we both like it when I do her toes, I decided to get some new nail polish for her. There is a strip mall near my house, which has my barber shop, your typical Starbucks, grocery store, etc. It also has a beauty supply store. After getting my hair cut I figured I could I'd quickly pop into the store, grab some nail polish and head home.

Even though the nail polish WAS for my wife, it is still a little odd to be in a beauty supply store walking around looking at items that are absolutely 100% only for women. It's not like I was in CVS looking at wall of lotions or something, where you can pass it off as looking for something for a man. This store was completely all female items. Of course, I was the only man in the entire store.

As somewhat of a digression, I will never understand why they stock stores like this so oddly. Maybe I'm just thinking like a man, but since I was looking for nail polish, you'd think there would be one big wall with all of their nail polish. Nope. They're kinda spread out all of the place, I think grouped by maker or something. I mean, go down one aisle and you see some, the next aisle some more, and so on. It's rather maddening.

In this context, it made me walk around the store, rather aimlessly because I wan't familiar with where everything was located in the first place. I did feel like the other women in the store were looking at me like "what is this guy doing?" I finally found the OPI nail polish (which is her favorite) and began looking. As soon as that happened, an attractive woman in her 20's came up to me asking if I needed help, but I politely declined, stating that I was just looking at this nail polish. I wonder what she was thinking as she approached me and what she thought of my answer.

Anyway, I figured that was going to be the only awkward encounter (well, other than actually purchasing whatever items I picked.) But as I'm standing next to the wall looking at the OPI nail polish, I hear "[my name], what are doing in the beauty store?" I turn around and it's a woman who my wife and I are very good friends with. Her and her husband and my wife and I have been great friends for a long time. Now luckily for me, because I'm comfortable with her, and because I was truly there to get nail polish for my wife, I was able to explain what I was doing and why, which was a very logical explanation. She actually stated she was impressed and said it was sweet.

Her husband is a manly guy, who would never even buy her nail polish, let alone give her a pedicure like I do! Of course, I didn't tell my friend that I was buying new colors for my wife for me to apply. On the other hand, he and I give each other shit about everything, so I immediately knew I'd be hearing about this shopping trip from him some time soon.

I made my selection and proceeded to the checkout line. No one was in front, so I was immediately able to pay. This is always an awkward experience too. I always wonder whether the clerk is thinking that i'm buying it for myself or what. She asked me if had a frequent buyer card and whether I wanted anything else, which again felt odd. At that point I just wanted to get out of there.

Later on, after Christmas, I made sure to bring out that my wife did receive the nail polish as a stocking stuffer to avoid any thoughts that I was buying the polish for myself.

Not nearly the same thing as the Strict Julie story, but still felt awkward for me!

yes, yes, yes

2012-01-24T14:05:00.000-08:00

Ah, I love this.

http://perverted-justice.tumblr.com/post/13241621071/this-skirt-makes-me-look-like-i-have-no-waist-but

Why do I love this? Because she looks hot in those heels and skirt? Yes, she does, but that's not the reason. I love it because of her comment about how she looks.

It's because she's happy with who she is and what she looks like. Confident. And that hand on her hip? That's attitude - in a good way.

Yes, she is sexy because of her attitude and confidence. Grrrr.

G-Spot

2012-01-19T09:52:00.000-08:00

It doesn't exist!

http://news.yahoo.com/g-spot-science-cant-60-years-study-says-155202501.html

Well, actually it does. I guess I can't conclusively state that. But unless at least two specific women in my life have "faked it", repeatedly, over many many years, and have lied about it's existence in their own bodies, then I'm pretty sure it exists.

I think in reality, there may be other things going on. Maybe some women aren't as in tune with their bodies. Maybe some just don't get any pleasure from that spot. It might akin to female ejaculation - some women can do it and some can't.

I just hope that the result of this study leads people to believe that a) if you have a g-spot, celebrate it; and b) if you don't get any pleasure from it - focus on other things! No need to fell bad or anything.

Funny

2012-01-17T08:03:00.000-08:00

Well, yea - I agree that you should conserve energy by turning the lights off when you leave the room.

But this particular marketing/advertising doesn't exactly work for lots of us!

Vanilla Edge and Blondie

2012-01-11T15:16:00.000-08:00

My thanks goes out to Vanilla Edge tumblr (http://vanillaedge.tumblr.com/) for posting these spot-on, hilarious, wonderful "Blondie" cartoons. I had never seen these before and they're great. (According to the Vanilla Edge tumblr, there is a new tumblr called http://mistressblondie.tumblr.com/ that has a bunch.)

Growing up as a kid, I loved reading the comics. Even then, I thought Blondie was "hot" - well, as hot as a comic could be. Anyway, the combination of Blondie, male chastity and a submissive Dagwood is rather enjoyable.

An example is below:

(1/12/12: Editor's note - Wow, I'm embarrassed!!! I used "their" instead of the proper "they're" in this post and that is incredibly inexcusable. If my wife were into DD, I would definitely deserve corrections tonight. The error has been corrected.)

Some Sites That I Love

2012-01-03T10:06:00.000-08:00

These are two of my favorite sites to visit to keep myself organized, efficient and helpful in performing tasks for my wife. They not only give great ideas on everything from cleaning to cooking, but they are also slick, informative and spot-on in the advice.

For example, the Cleanmama site gives you a free, downloadable sheet on what to do daily for January. It's a great starter to customize yourself.

The Domestic Servitude provides ideas that I would never have thought of in the first place.

http://cleanmama.blogspot.com/

http://domesticservitude.blogspot.com/

Sensual Pegging

2011-12-29T12:22:00.000-08:00

This post is more geared towards sex in general - and nothing really in particular to my situation.

There is a great tumblr called Sensual Pegging. The link is http://sensualpegging.tumblr.com. The "goal" of that tumblr is "Sensual, loving pegging from a non-BSDM perspective, via a guy who really loves it. Images, video and Q&A about pegging, as well as beautiful women showing off their gear. Kinky, but not TOO kinky."

The thing I like about the site is that it does present the pegging aspect from loving relationships - not necessarily the "pain" that much of the other strap-on porn does. Usually, you see sites like "men in pain" or "girls abuse guys" etc. While both presentations are worthy, it's just that it seems the humiliation, aggressive, and almost non-consensual ones play into the stereotype about pegging that turns both vanilla men and women off.

The "sensual pegging" site recently posted the picture below.

I agree with everything written in that picture. But I found the heading to be way too limited. That heading should read "What straight men AND women need to know about Pegging." The vast majority of vanilla straight women who hear about pegging immediately freak out. They think the guy is gay. They lose respect for him.

If pegging is not your thing, that's fine. But if your lack of desire is solely due to the fact that mainstream society tells you it's not o.k. to like it, well I humbly suggest rethinking that position.

Lull

2011-12-28T10:45:00.000-08:00

Shouldn't come as a surprise because of all the stuff that happens during December, but there has been a serious lull in anything WLM in or out of the bedroom. I've tried to stop her from doing work around the house, but she's relentless. I think part of the issue is that she's at home with the kids while I'm at work and she can a lot done before I get home.

Still, what has this done to me? It's making me ache for service and submissive. I'm desiring it more and more. I've been wearing panties and using some of the Champagne Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer at work to try to satisfy the urges, but it's not the same. Especially since it's not ordered by her. I'm doing it on my own, which can only take me so far.

I have already decided to offer to clean anything she wants, perform any repairs around the house she wants and offer anything to her. I will make suggestions of things I think that she wants too.

I'm sure that other men out there understand what I'm trying to get across. It's an ache that needs to be filled.

Perfection

2011-12-13T08:54:00.000-08:00

This woman, well, just wow. Not only the look, but the attitude. And these quotes? Couldn't have said them better myself!

"We want you to order Scotch. It's the most impressive drink order. It's classic. It's sexy. Such a rich color. The glass, the smell. It's not watered down with fruit juice. It's Scotch. And you ordered it."

“Panties is a wonderful word. When did you stop saying ‘panties’? It’s sexy. It’s girlie. It’s naughty. Say it more.”

"I could sit down with a bag of chips and French onion dip and go to town"

I think that if I came home with her standing there with a bottle of Blue Label, I would honestly think I died.

I know she's kidding but........

2011-12-12T17:55:00.001-08:00

Last week, my wife took the kids to the sports teacher, the one mentioned in the post "A Little Fun."

I decided to tease her, texting her, asking how he was doing. Her response was simply calling me "silly." I ratcheted it up a notch, texting that I was sure to make myself ready tonight if she were excited from seeing him, to which she responded that it wasn't going to happen because it was "that time of the month". I responded that "wow [name omitted] must be bummed" and her response was "totally."

I realize how tame that is for people who are actually engaged in the lifestyle, or much more experimental, but it's a positive sign that she's joking about it, instead of being totally turned off by it.

And then last weekend, we went out and she wore a short dress, which I thought she looked great in. She was nervous about it, saying it was shorter than she liked, but I think once we were out, she was fine.

On the other hand, she hasn't made any real efforts to deny me. While I would have previously decided that was because she didn't want to take the lead, I actually now understand that she's just doing what she wants to do. So I'm taking it as a positive.

Finally - I have been much better since my mistake. I have made extra efforts to clean and to fix things around the house. She has definitely noticed and has been happy - making me happy!

I screwed up

2011-12-01T11:14:00.000-08:00

We were recently having dinner with friends and I playfully made some comments about my wife to everyone, which were funny and well received. Unbeknownst to me, however, she bristled at it, thinking that I was being a little to pointed and personal. In no way did I mean my comments to be taken by anyone in that manner, let alone her taking it in that manner.

Once we got home, she brought the subject up, explaining why she did not appreciate what I had said. And this is where I screwed up. I defended myself, telling her that the comments were not negative to her, that I did not mean them to be negative, everyone thought the comments were funny, and, in essence, that she should not have taken the comments in that manner.

There are many problems with what I did. The first thing I should have realized was that she was expressing to me how SHE felt about the comments, which is the most important thing. She did not like the comments. They made her uncomfortable and she did not appreciate them. My initial reaction clearly showed to her that my first inclination was NOT her feelings, which is of course, a poor showing on my part.

Regardless of how I meant the comments, I should have first apologized. Trying to explain to her why I made the comments, explain my actions etc., was o.k. to do, but the apology should have come first.

I'm also kicking myself about my reaction because it is not indicative of how I do want our relationship to move forward. If I had handled the situation the proper way, we could have had a discussion several days after the incident, wherein I could not only explain verbally how I would like the relationship to move forward, but it could have also served as an illustration.

I could have sat down with her and explained that in the future I will be more respectful to her in public and much more cognizant of how my comments can be perceived. I could have explained that I recognized my error and immediately apologized.

Assuming I had done it correctly the first time, and then we discussed the issue like I stated, she could have reflected on the incident, having a more concrete example of how she should be treated all the time. And how I should be reacting to her, what is expected and what is not tolerated.

Instead, when I continue to try to bring up concepts of her being more "dominant," that I want a WLM, she can possibly think back to the night as it actually happened and think "what the hell is he talking about. That night didn't really show me that wants this. He must be just trying to get his kinky side met and doesn't really care about this other stuff."

Now, don't get me wrong - I did properly apologize the next day. But the force and effect is not the same.

I'm kicking myself for my mistake, but I have learned. Since that date I have made a better effort.

A little fun.

2011-11-22T08:29:00.001-08:00

So, there is a young coach that my wife has hired for two of my kids for a sport. Apparently, he's rather good looking, information which my wife casually mentioned at a dinner party. She had never mentioned it to me before.

Furthering the conversation when we got home, she completely downplayed the entire thing. She said while he was cute, he was way too young for her, she didn't really think about him etc.

Now, while I like the cuckolding concept in fantasy, I highly highly doubt that I would ever even consider it. There would have to be a whole lot of discussion well before it would occur. More importantly, unless she's completely lying to me and I have no reason to ever believe that she is lying, she states she has zero desire to actually cheat on me.

When we were discussing this guy, it was totally relaxed, non-confrontational, just us talking. I took her at her word.

Later that night, I decided to have a little fun with her, just to see if she would go for it. When we were in bed and kissing, I started a little role playing pretending to be the guy, calling her by her married name "Mrs. [Smith], I'm glad you have the kids in my camp. I've been watching you and always thought you were so hot" and that sort of thing. She resisted doing it for a while, but I persisted, and eventually she came around. It was playful. I could tell it was more funny to her than sexy.

Definitely not something I ever expect for her to try to implement on her own. It was fun though.

So True

2011-11-17T08:34:00.001-08:00

Does it Matter if She's More Interested?

2011-11-08T08:44:00.001-08:00

Some recent events have me wondering more and more whether my journey is actually complete? Meaning, I'm beginning to think that we already live in a WLM and that the efforts on my part to get certain things are very much my own issues/problems and not hers.

I would like acknowledgement from her, I would like more direct commands, I would like more demands for service, I would like domestic discipline, I would like more tease & denial, I would like enforced chastity, I, I, I, I!!!!!! Those are all very clearly things I want - and not necessarily things she wants. In fact, she does some of those things. She does them, however, when she wants. She does them if I suggest them, but there have been times when she's done some of them on her own. Who am I to push to her to do them more? Shouldn't it be that she will do them when she wants?

I had two recent epiphanies. First, the entire family was out at the park and there was another family we are good friends with there. The other family was going out to dinner and my oldest son started asking me if we could go out to dinner. I did not commit, saying that we'd talk to his mother. Some time passed and it wasn't brought up again, but then he started saying that we were going to dinner. He had apparently asked his mom, who said yes, without ever consulting me. My son, then, started to say how mom was in charge, so we were going to dinner. She told him to stop it, to stop saying that, and saying that she would talk to me. But can anyone guess what happened? The fact of that matter is that he knows I'll check in with her, but she won't necessarily check in with me.

The second epiphany was that I was walking by the refrigerator and noticed that my wife had put a list of "things to fix" in the house. They included major projects like a repair that an actual contractor would do (not something I can do), but the remaining projects were all things that I could actually do. She never told me she was making the list. She never asked me to do anything on the list. Yet, after seeing it, I started to do the things on the list.

She, of course, noticed that I had some of them and thanked me for doing them. Again, she never asked for them to be done. She never demanded them to be done. I actually believe that when she wrote them and placed them on the refrigerator she never intended for me to just start doing them. That's not really her style. She put them there as a reminder to herself to get me to do them eventually.

Those two events - and the fact that she thanks me for doing all of these things, including things like last night thanking me for cleaning the counter and the bathroom etc., just really hit me that she is already living her version of a WLM.

It does seem to me that she has become more and more interested in some of the things like tease and denial and chastity and other things and I clearly hope that will continue and increase. The more I think about it, though, the more I realize that I am happier than I thought. I am happier because she is happy and where she wants to be.

The journey continues, but I'm much less stressed. And eagerly awaiting to complete the remaining tasks on the refrigerator.

Is She More Interested?

2011-10-31T13:34:00.000-07:00

There have been some great things that give me hope for a future WLM, to whatever extent that might be. On the other hand, it could just be that she is enjoying my continued efforts to be in her service. Not only do I perform the tasks that she wants, but I also attempt to perform tasks that I know she will like, without being asked.

I have made coffee for her in the morning, before going to work so it will be ready when she wakes up.

I have put love notes where she will eventually find them.

I did extra work around the house (I already do a lot around the house)

And then other little things, like one night, as she was getting into bed, she said "damn, I forgot to get water for the night." Instead of saying anything, or making a big deal out of it, while I was getting ready for bed, I went downstairs, got water and brought it to her. She was very appreciative.

In addition, on her own, she began a little tease and denial game. One night, she began rubbing me in bed and then stopped, telling me that I would have to wait. We had a lot of fun for a couple of days, though it was not a long denial period. I thoroughly enjoyed it because it was all her idea - I had not brought up T&D for a long time.

One night she asked me if I would do her toenails. I happily agreed. As I set everything up, she turned on the tv, trying to find something to watch. She noticed that we had dvr'd a new "Private Practice", a show she loves, but I loath. She mentioned that she'd find something else to watch because she knew I disliked it. I immediately told her that she could watch it and, again, she was very appreciative.

In way, these are all very good things. I'm satisfying my own urges by being in her service as much as possible. She's definitely appreciative of the things I'm doing. The familiar refrain, however, from a male sub trying to get a vanilla wife to enjoy a WLM is the actual acknowledgment from her that she is the more dominate one in the relationship.

We have not discussed or agreed that ours will be a WLM. And while I fully agree that in a WLM, it should be about her and what she wants, I will still need to know that she is actually doing what she wants, as opposed to what she thinks I want. Or, she not thinking about it at all. Because if she is not even thinking about it, then it will a vicious cycle where I crave the WLM, but she is not actively engaging in that dynamic, causing some consternation on my part.

Now, my situation as it stands, however, is NOT one in which I am frustrated. I'm not frustrated because we have never agreed to have a WLM. This is more about how I believe we are progressing towards a WLM. Where we ultimately end up is still unknown, but I am happy that we are progressing.

Yes, she asked for me to do her nails instead of telling me that I was going to do them. Yes, technically I allowed her to watch Private Practice. Had I said "no, let's watch something else" she would have watched something else.

On the other hand, after many of these things, she said "you're too good to me." And that is something I hope to remind her of in the future when I believe she will be receptive to discussing an adoption of the WLM ideal.

Something New

2011-10-26T12:31:00.001-07:00

So, I did something last night that I've never done before. I was super horny, and luckily so was she. We were on the couch, watcthing tv, basically cuddling together. She was on top, sort of to the side, and I had my arm around her waist.

I being nibbling on her ear and neck and we started kissing. This went for a long time (reminded me of highschool - on the couch kissing - fully clothed). One thing led to another and I reached my hand down to start taking off her pants, when she stopped me, telling it was the wrong time of the month.

Undeterred, I took off her shirt, spending ample time on her breasts and stomach. I continued then to her pants, which this time she didn't stop me. I'm not sure what she was thinking, but I had developed a plan.

I took the pants off, but left her panties on. I began kissing her inner thigh, her legs, her calves and going back and forth between each leg. Finally, I began my plan - I pulled the panties at the top together and then pulled up - encasing her lips tight in the panties, but giving me access to everything else. I licked up and down each side getting the edges of the lips, but nothing in the middle. After lots of that teasing, I pulled the tops of the panties down, exposing her clitoris, but not much else below. With the extensive foreplay, she was ready to explode. With just the clitoris exposed, it didn't take me long to bring her off.

A very enjoyable evening. A hell of a lot better than watching tv. I know she liked it!

Photo

2011-10-25T11:10:00.000-07:00

Ooooh, Stewie and football. Two of my favorite things in one photo. Too bad these girls are distracting me.

Mmmm

2011-10-24T09:04:00.000-07:00

Perfect picture. Well, I guess if she actually had a book in one of the hands it would be better, but damn. Love this one.

Reblog if.......

2011-10-21T07:43:00.000-07:00

From http://rohosub.tumblr.com/post/11732656920. I wonderful picture site for those sub-inclined.

Light Hearted Stuff

2011-10-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

Modern Family:
Anyone see the most recent "Modern Family" tv show? If you did, did you get a kick out of the subtle cuckolding aspect? Yes, this show is on normal, national broadcast tv, so they weren't going anywhere "naughty", and the joke was that it was all just a big misunderstanding (she goes out with her gay brother and she thinks the hot friend is also gay, so she's very open with him, but he turns out to be straight).

But for those of us aware of the cuckolding scene, they were rather obvious. As soon as her husband is gone, she gets all dolled up for a night on the town. She is flirty, has the guy take off her dress so she can try on new clothes, and buys a short red dress with him. The fact that she gets "found out" by the rest of the women in the neighborhood.

And really, if you know anything about the show and the characters in it, she is most definitely in charge in that marriage.

Breast Cancer.

Also, here is some funny, yet supremely important, information about breast cancer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsyE2rCW71o&feature=player_embedded

And even though TopKat really tried to help me, I'm not sure if I succeeded in providing the link, so you might have to cut and paste.

Going in Opposite Directions?

2011-10-17T08:31:00.000-07:00

The url for this blog is "she's a wonderful wife." And it's true - she is. That url refers to her as a person, though. A whole person, not just anything sexual.

It's interesting - we were forced to be apart for about a month. September was pretty much a lost month for us. Without giving away too much, let's just say that the entire month of September, she was on her own, taking care of the kids. Because my job requires that from time to time, I'm supremely grateful and happy that she's such a strong woman that she can handle everything that goes along with those responsibilities. To be able to leave and know everything will be fine is great peace of mind.

It also forced us to "take a break" from anything sexual, let alone kinky. And this break has me re-evaluating the WLM, submission, and even tease & denial, where that is going for both of us, where it is going for her and for me.

She is not "wired" in the kink this way. This is more about her personality overall, rather than anything kinky. Actually, it's both. She's not kinky at heart, but also, the way in which she goes about her day does not lend itself to "planning" anything kinky. Let's put it this way: Kink can be a lot of work! If someone is naturally inclined for that, they usually spend lots of time thinking about it and/or getting ideas from reading websites. She is never going to do either of those things. And since she is not naturally inclined, the thought process of introducing something "kinky" never ever crosses her mind.

I used to think that she considered the options, but just chose not do it. But now I'm more convinced that the thought never crosses her mind, unless I've put it there. I have not brought up denial in a while and the last couple of times that we've engaged in love, there has not been any effort on her part to deny.

This development doesn't bother me in the least, though, because I know that gains have been made. Moving into a 24/7 WLM was never something I thought would happen - especially not when the kids were still around. I was also well aware that no matter how far she got on the kinkier side, she would never match me.

But the strides and gains are palpable. She has gotten kinkier. She is more willing to engage in things. The gains won't be lost either. I'd rather her engage in T&D 24/7/365, which will not happen, but I also believe that there will be times in the future it is done by her on her own. I don't believe she'll revert to complete nothing.

So I'll keep pushing and see where it goes. The journey does, indeed, continue.

Denial - but not in the good way

2011-09-02T11:25:00.000-07:00

Same old story, same old song and dance!!! Work has killed me - I've been traveling for the last two weeks, essentially being "on call" from 8 a.m. till about 10 at night.

And it's not going to get any better. The month of September is shaping up to be about the same.

The worst part is when I'm finally back in the office and not traveling, the hours are almost virtually the same. Once I get home, because she's had the kids all day, we try to re-connect, but it's very difficult.

It's temporary and we both know that. The problem for me is that she generally doesn't want to engage in anything "kinky" unless we are connecting well on an emotional level, which does not happen in these situations. So everything is on a hiatus for a while. Of course, for me, it doesn't decrease my desires. In fact, mine go into more of an over drive.

I'm desperately wanting the following: (all found on various tumblrs out there)

Oh, and one more:

Excellent Pic

2011-08-27T14:16:00.001-07:00

I wish I could link correctly - still haven't perfected that.

This pic is from http://ihonorher.blogspot.com/

I just love the pic. She's happy/smiling and clearly having fun with the situation. Sex is fun! People are, in general, wayyyyyyy to uptight about it. Enjoy yourself and your partner in whatever way you want!

I love the fact that the bottle of KY lubricant is visible in the background. Tells me that this isn't a "staged" photo. These people are ready to play.

There isn't much else to update on my front. Still having fun, but haven't tried to introduce the device again.

The Other Night

2011-08-16T10:10:00.001-07:00

My last post was "this happened last night." The events described in this post happened that same night, which brought a little bit of more understanding in my situation.

Long story short - we made love, with me getting the release. It was initiated by her and all very good. The more interesting part was that afterward, she brought up the tease and denial issue on her own. She just began talking about how she does understand the whole denial thing when I describe what I like about it, but that she also still has a little bit of a guilt type reaction in doing the denial. This was not said in any negative fashion, more of a description of what she feels.

She likes the tease and denial, likes doing it, and likes it when she finally brings me off because of how much I react. It's the reaction she can elicit from me, both in the teasing part, but also the ending part!

The part I'm not describing well is what she talked about regarding the "guilt" or "feeling bad" in the denial part. I'm not describing it well because it's not something that bothers her. She has no negative reaction in general to the whole thing, it's just that she still does feel a little "bad" about denying me. I assured her that if she ever teased and then denied me, I would never ever get mad at her and that I would in fact love it. She emphatically stated she knew that and understood that.

The good thing, of course, is that she continues to enjoy doing it and I do believe that it will continue. I would like it to be more frequent and more permanent, but I understand that for right now I should be very happy with what she is comfortable with. Maybe as the years go by it will become more natural for her and she will not have the guilt part at all, but we'll see.

She is going away this weekend. I am trying to decide whether to request being put in the device while she is gone. As with everything with her on that front, I'll have to be careful when to bring it up, if at all. She really has to be in the "mood" to increase the chances of a positive reaction. When I say in the mood, I don't mean a sexual mood. I mean in a good mood: she is happy with me, happy with us, and the kids haven't been driving her crazy. I'll try my best to make all of that happen, to see if she is willing to do it.

This Happened Last Night

2011-08-12T12:30:00.001-07:00

No, this is not a pic of us. But this happened last night. She never makes this position happen on her own. I'm always the one to manuever it to happen this way. That doesn't detract from my enjoyment! When doing it, she usually grabs on like this, more for stability than anything.

She got me off too, but that's for a different post.

Hmmmm, Interesting

2011-08-10T07:50:00.001-07:00

There is much good news on my front!! Our relationship is progressing in the chastity/wlm arena and I'm very excited about the future.

As you know, I previously asked for orgasm control from her, which she agreed to. Since that time, we've been "practicing" male chastity, but it hasn't actually felt like it to me because it was without a device and it just never felt like she was actually denying me.

Essentially, the rule was that I could no longer have any orgasms without her permission. But, without wearing a device, I could always masturbate on my own without her knowledge. And whenever we had sex, there was hardly ever any direction/demand by her to not cum or anything like that. There was no outward denial. It was more of an unspoken rule and while I was denied, it was not really discussed or brought up by her.

In other words, my perception of the "male chastity" was that I would not cum until we engaged in sexual relations. If we had sex once a week, 99% of the time, I would be cumming during that session.

That was part of the reason why I tried to introduce the CB-6000 in the first place. Then, the whole situation with the CB-6000 led me to believe that she liked it, but that unless I asked for it again, she wouldn't do it on her own.

Well, she still hasn't introduced the device again, but on Sunday we were in bed after a long day, just relaxing before going to sleep. I was leaving for business on Monday and not returning till Tuesday. Out of the blue, she reached down and started to gently touch me through my boxers. This surprised me because usually if we are going to have sex she needs a lot more warming up before going straight for the groin. I wasn't particularly in the mood, but her direct approach, without even asking, got me in the mood very quickly.

I began kissing her and figuring she was horny, brought her off to two G-Spot orgasms and one clitoral. She was very happy. After she calmed down, she began stroking me through my boxers again! I fully expected her to take them off and we would either have intercourse or something else, but she continued to lazily, slowly and very sensually rub me through my boxers. I was ready to burst, leaking pre-cum all over the place. She showed no signs of doing anything other than what she was continuing to do, yet if she did continue, I was going to cum.

I was getting closer and closer and then she suddenly just stopped. She said that was "enough for tonight" and that I would have to wait until I got back from my trip! She then said "I want you thinking about me on your trip."

I was loving it. Not only because this is what I've wanted for a long time, but also because it was done completely out of the blue by her. It was her idea. This was not me dropping hints and her acting on them. It was not me asking for it and her doing it because I asked. This was her doing it on her own decision. Whether she sat there thinking "I wonder what I can do to make him happy" or whether she sat there and thought "I really want to play with him because it makes me really happy" or a combo of both, it's all very very good.

There was a fine line that I did not want to cross with this at that time. I didn't want to get overly exuberant, possibly turning her off, but I also wanted to make sure she knew just how much I loved what she did. After we had been laying there, cuddling for a few minutes, I leaned over, kissed her, said I loved her and then said "thank you for tonight." She definitely understood the meaning behind the "thank you."

I left the next morning very happy. We texted and talked throughout the day, but nothing specific about the night before. Eventually, we texted about our days and she said she was doing fine, just going through work crap. I replied "ditto, but I have blue ones right now, so I'm loving it." She replied "great, exactly what I planned :)." She texted some other funny stuff about it later than night too while I was gone.

It was only a one day trip, so the Tuesday night I was in bed early waiting for her to finish her routine in the bathroom. I was wondering what was going to happen, if anything. We were happy to see each other and everything was great, but still didn't know if there would be any sex that night.

Once she got in bed, she immediately went for me again. Instantly hard at her touch and we started lightly kissing. She then forced me on my back and scootched down, taking off my underwear. I just loved the control she was exerting. She was calling the shots. I'm usually the one who initiates, or who takes the kissing to the next level. Instead, it was all her again.

She was manipulating me with her hands for a couple of minutes and then began to lick and suck. Wow. She had me writhing very soon. She wasn't fully going down, instead doing the slow licks. Sometimes taking me fully into her mouth, but not going fast. I fully expected that she would bring me off that night, but again, instead she suddenly stopped and said "sorry, you don't get to cum tonight. Maybe tomorrow, maybe not" and laughed a very playful laugh!!!!!

I was sooooo turned on by the stroking, partial bj, previous nights, her attitude and the fact that she had actually denied me, that I couldn't help but yank her close and ravish her with kisses. We kissed so passionately for a while, I didn't want to stop. I tried to take off her shorts, but she said no saying she was already happy enough and just enjoyed what she had done to me. I told her that denying me from going down on her was worse than denying me an orgasm! Eventually, we calmed down and she said it was time to sleep.

Again, just like the other night, I was laying there desperately trying to figure out the perfect words to say that would convey how incredibly happy I was, without turning the loving moment into something cheap and fetishy. I finally just hugged her, kissed and said "at the risk of ruining it by talking about it, I can't tell you enough how happy I am and am loving what you're doing." She smiled and kissed me, saying "I know."

From where we were, to now, it's all a very good thing. We are closer. We are communicating more. It's not even about me - yes I'm loving this - but she's doing this all on her own. I haven't brought up the device, or even T&D for a long time, and yet she did this all on her own.

Again, I'm taking this all in perspective. I don't expect this to be weekly, let alone daily, type of interaction. She will not graduate into a full WLM like described by Uniquely Rika or other prominent bloggers like "subservient husband", at least not right now. Those things could be done in the far future, but not now. But more and more instances such as these definitely are welcome and encouraging. The more she finds things she enjoys and implements them on her own accord, the happier we are.

Attempt at a Creampie

2011-08-05T15:12:00.000-07:00

As you know, she did not put me back into the device after she let me out. For the next couple of days, we still engaged in some sexual relations, but nothing "blog worthy."

For people who have read my entire blog, they'll know that I find eating creampies very exciting. I've done it before, but it is very infrequent. One reason is that I'm the stereotypical guy who finds this idea extremely hot, but immediately after orgasming, the desire immediately disappears and I can't get down there to finish the job. This is extremely common from what I understand from reading other people's feelings on the subject. There have been many times before where I've made that decision prior to cuming and then not going through with it afterward.

So, in mid May, without any continued chastity device, I was trying to figure out ways to keep things moving forward. Along with that idea, I decided to eat a creampie from her, or anywhere else it ended up. Whether it was on her, in her, in her mouth, or on me, I made the determination that I would somehow consume it.

My way to "force" myself down there is, immediately after cumming, to start kissing her, caressing her, anything to keep going again, to get me hornier again. It usually works. After a minute or two of continuing with her, I get excited enough to want to go down there.

So, the chance eventually presented itself. It had been a long time since we had actual intercourse. Sure, we had engaged in sexual relations: me giving her lots of orgasms, she had given me that handjob and blowjob, but no intercourse for a while. I could tell that night, after we started, that she really wanted intercourse, so away we went. I was on top this time.

I came, and then was able to bring her off, and then I rested on top of her. We had both calmed down after a while and I started kissing her again. I then slowly made my way down to her breasts for a while, then down to her stomach, inching my way towards my goal. As I kept going lower, she realized where I was headed and she said "whoa, what are doing?"

I could tell she didn't want me to eat her out, but figured it was because I had just cum in her. Kind of laughing, I said "Nothing. Just going to try to make you happy."

I curious what her response would be. She then said that she was already very happy, she was too sensitive, and she didn't want me to continue. Interestingly, she didn't mention that I had just cum in her.

This type of scenario has happened before. Where I've eaten the creampie and was never sure if she even realized it. Still not sure if she realized it that night. I know some would say "she surely has to know" but honestly, I don't think she thinks like that a lot of the times.

And my belief that she doesn't really think about it was even more proven to me very recently. I'm jumping around the timeline here, but the last time we made love, I had again decided to eat the creampie. This time she was on top. I personally like her being on top because I can last longer and I can use my hands on her to bring her off to a great orgasm.

While she is multiorgasmic, she does need a little bit of down time before more stimulation to her clitoris occurs. So, after she was done, I again waited for a bit, both for her and for me. She was still sitting on top of me and I had her lean down to kiss me. Eventually, I pushed her back up so she was sitting on top with me still in her, with her legs still curled back.

While I have eaten creampies before they've all been when she was laying down. I've never done it with me on my back and her sitting on my face. This was going to be a first for me.

I pushed her further back at the waist so I could grab both of her legs and pull her up to my face quickly. As I began to grab her legs, she realized what I was going to have her do and she made a comment along the lines of "oh, we're still going?" It was more a comment about continuing sex in general, as opposed to anything related to a creampie.

Instead of responding, I just pulled her up quickly. It was night, so I couldn't really see, but as I pulled her up, I could feel a quick drop onto my chest before I was able to put my mouth under her. Immediately upon doing so I got a big rush of my cum into my mouth.

I've watched creampie eating porn and most of the time, this is the manuever that they use, where you can see the cum drip out. Usually, the woman is several feet above the guy (or girl) so you can see it drip all the way down, and I've always wanted to have the sensation - of it dripping into my mouth.

I have to say, it was actually better than I had hoped. The smell, the taste and the feel of her was new, different and delicious. Eating her, in this position, was definitely better than with her laying down. And maybe it was because I had been in her for so long and had quickly pulled her off, but her pussy was more open, much much more slick and different than any time before.

I loved every second of it and have almost made up in my mind to do it all of the time! The kicker ............. again, I don't think she understood/realized what I had just done!!!!!!! She never said a word, one way or the other. I just think that the thought "he must have eaten a huge load of his own cum when he did that" ever crossed her mind. I am incredulous too - how could someone not realize that occurred? I don't know. I just think that if she really realized what happened, she would have said something. Either that it was gross, or hot, or, well, anything! Or maybe she just chose to ignore it.

Not sure. Despite that hot night, though, I know it doesn't change my view of eating creampies. I know that, no matter what, as soon as I cum, the desire leaves.

Taller Than Me

2011-08-03T08:57:00.001-07:00

We recently went out to the movies. She surprised me. I came home from work on a random day and she told me to change to go out. She didn't tell me where we were going or what we were doing, just to change. So, I did!

When we were ready to leave, she was dressed in jeans, a normal summer top, but was wearing new shoes. They were these "type" of shoes, though a completely different color and pattern:

The shoe height, type and heal, however, were very similar. It's a tall heal. She was taller than me when wearing them. As we were leaving, she commented that she was taller than me and it was a "different" feeling. I made sure to tell her that I really liked the shoes and had no problem with her being taller than me!

I know I was projecting my own feelings on how she was looked, but she definitely had a sexy, confident, happy walk to her that night. Turned me on very much. I made sure to thank her for planning the night, and made sure to tell her I loved the shoes, including how I perceived them.

I hope that she continues to wear those type of shoes because of how it makes her feel

I couldn't agree more!

2011-07-28T11:56:00.000-07:00

This is the perfect comment to this picture.

Book and a Redhead

2011-07-27T08:05:00.000-07:00

Can't pass up the opportunity to re-post a hot Redhead reading a phenomenal book. If you've never read it, you have to read this book. Yes, the Kubrick movie was very good too, but the book is an experience onto itself.

re-posted from: http://fuckyeahgeekgirls.com/post/4577857426

Monthly Visitor

2011-07-25T07:36:00.001-07:00

It's my wife's time of the month and like many women, she does not feel well. PMS definitely occurs. She and I were discussing it last night and she was recognizing she was being "bitchy." Of course, I told her last night it didn't bother me and I understood what was going on.

So, I'm looking to my readers to provide some suggestions on something I could "go through" once a month when she was also going through it. I'm not looking for something "sexual" - I'm thinking more of either a service type thing (massage or something) or something I have to "suffer" through.

I do not want to suggest me being locked in the device, because I don't want to only associate that with her not feeling well!

Any suggestions would be appreciated!

I didn't have the balls yesterday to tell her it was Femdom Day, but as she was leaving the house to do some errands, she mentioned that she wanted to sit down with me later and come up with a meal plan for the week. As soon as she left, I downloaded a weekly meal planner from http://www.theprojectgirl.com/. (BTW - that is a great site for ideas) I planned the entire week with not only the meals, but also recipes. I prepared the shopping list too. When she returned, I presented it to her and asked her to add anything to shopping list so I could that for her. She was very impressed!! Made me feel very good.

Wrapping up the Chastity Experiment

2011-07-22T14:58:00.000-07:00

A lot of additional things that are blog worthy happened after the last post (which occurred in May) and today that I will ultimately report. However, after the cage came off, it never went back on, so I can summarize where we are with the chastity idea.

It was a great experience for me. I loved it. I would willingly go back in if she ever asked. And I'd go back in for however long she wanted. This probably does not come as a shock to anyone reading this blog.

The more pertinent question, of course, is what does she want! My interpretation of our discussions about the device, my interpretation on how she enforces the "non-device" chastity, and my interpretation of how she dealt with me being in the device leads me to believe that a chastity device is something that may occur in the future. This is why I've previously said that while I'm no longer in the device and since it was taken off she's never attempted to put it back on, I was still optimistic about the future.

I believe she enjoyed playing with me while I was in the device. She wasn't faking anything. Her texts indicated a playful side. Even the teasing, she enjoys. On the other hand, I know that she was not pleased with the lack of cleanliness. That's a turn-off for her.

The overriding issue is that she does not focus on, or think about, kink unless prompted. Meaning, I can't ever really imagine her coming up to me one night, completely unprompted, and stating: "here is the cb-6000. Put it on. You're mine."

That's a specific example. As a more generalized idea, I do not believe that she's ever going to be driven to do anything kink related on her own. The only things she'll ever do will occur after being prompted by a discussion.

Now, we haven't fully fixed our issues that occurred in May. Only time will fix those. So, even after all of that, and after all we've been through these last couple of months, we are still not fully into a chastity lifestyle. We are practicing male chastity in a way because I'm not supposed to masturbate unless given permission, and not supposed to cum unless given permission. But even under those "rules" she makes me cum - and only every once in a while denies me because she wants.

Will she be receptive if I asked her to put me back into the device? I think she would say yes, absolutely. But therein lies the rub. I would have to ask. Then again, being put in because I ask is fine with me and it's a step in the right direction. In order to make it more pleasurable for her, though, I would suggest that she let me out every morning to take a shower, clean everything, and then be put back in for the day.

Sure, that would "ruin" some of the fun, but still, the device is more of a play thing anyway. I mean, if I really wanted to get out of the device, or do something to make myself cum while in the device, I could accomplish that.

The Next Couple of Days

2011-07-21T15:32:00.000-07:00

After she returned from her vacation, we were returning to our normal lives. Well, except for me, because I had the device on for days she was on vacation, and now for a couple of days when she returned.

I guess I should explain a little bit about how I was feeling during this time. I was feeling very good, both in my own situation and in my situation with her. It was difficult to not text her about us and steer the discussion about the chastity device. I wanted to talk about the situation 24/7 just because it was so much on my mind. Realizing that approach would not work, it was a struggle.

Given that, I was a little bummed that she did not bring up the situation very often. We briefly discussed, but that was mostly right after she returned. There was not any major discussion by her asking me about the device, how she felt about it, felt about me wearing it, or how I felt about wearing it.

I was being ridiculous in retrospect, though, because the one night was phenomenal! Sitting there on pins and needles waiting to see what happened the next was being selfish on my part.

Two funny things happened after that night. First, in my effort to talk about the device but also not go crazy talking about the device, I decided to text her something funny/innocuous. I ended up texting her, saying that having to sit to pee everytime was different and kind of a pain in the ass. Her response did not surprise me, it was typical of my wife, and I truly loved it. She texted back "Funny about you having to sit. Kinda like that. Means you think of me everytime." And that is one of the reasons I love her so much. Her response was 100% right - I did think of her everytime I had to sit. She also didn't send it in the "porn dom" way, she wasn't playing a script, or saying it because that's what she thought I wanted to hear. Her response was natural. It is who she is.

The episode happened while I was at work. The thing is that once we have those exchanges, she has me thinking about her all the time and I just want to keep texting with her. That would be a bad decision on my part, so I'm always having to hold back.

Anyway, by the time I got home I was all worked up. Shocking, I konw, but still. The second thing that was funny was we were just hanging out and she casually mentioned that she couldn't remember where she had left the keys to the device. Now, this was not said in the sexy, teasing, I'm screwing with you sort of way. This was said in the very typical way my wife loses things! She also didn't mean it in the "I'm pretending that you'll be locked forever" way because she knew were one of the keys were, just not what she did with the second one. That type of interaction is fun and part of what I had hoped would come out of utilizing the device. It also led me to believe that she was enjoying the situation.

Ultimately, that night I was finally let out. She didn't make any big fanfare about letting me out. She simply went and got the key and opened it up. It was fantastic from my point of view just watching her open it and take the device off.

The problem I had mentioned earlier was that despite trying to clean it every day in the shower, I wasn't ever able to get it completely cleaned because I couldn't touch it (of course), so when she took it off, she wasn't entirely happy with the state of cleanliness. I know that turned her off a bit. She did end up teasing me for a bit and then using her hands, brought me off. It was very very satisfying. Though as any man who is interested in chastity, I would be have been happier had she brought me just to the edge, then stopped, then put me back into the device!

After bringing me off, I did reciprocate and then immediately wondered whether she would put me into the cage.

She did not. And since that time, she has never mentioned using it again.

But, if you jump to a conclusion as to why it hasn't been used again, you'd be wrong because to this day, I don't fully know the answer to that question.

The reason being, very soon right after that night, there was a death in the family, we had weddings we had to go to, we both got sick, and then there was also the other issue with her that we had to resolve.

You can imagine that the death put stress into the dynamic that didn't put us in the mood. The weddings also added stress, being sick too. But even with those, our other issue was bigger, in my mind, because it dealt with "us." Sounds weird to say, but I'm not going to explain that specific issue, but will say it is something that we are both committed to working on together and it's getting fixed. (No, she didn't cheat on me, if that's what some have asked.) I've also said that it's not the type of thing that can be fixed immediately, so time will be necessary.

All of that doesn't get us up to the current date. There were some other things that happened that are blog worthy that are upcoming.

When she got home from her trip

2011-07-19T08:37:00.000-07:00

I appreciate all of the comments, encouragements and insight! As always, it is helpful to hear what others think/observe.

Remember - all of these events occurred back in May, so I already know the ultimate outcome of everything and I am not currently locked up and we've never used the device since that one time. That's the bummer part. But, I'm actually still optimistic about the future.

So, after the trip, I was definitely bummed that during the entire time she was gone on the trip, she never mentioned the device or anything related to that. Not even a question about how I was doing in it. I truly felt like it was the classic "ignore and denial" as opposed to "tease and denial."

But, by the time she was returning, the text exchanges occurred that were very nice. It was those text exchanges (that took all of about 1 minute to write) that I would have loved while she was gone. It's something I've tried to explain to her before - that the whole "tease & denial" thing or chastity in and of itself is not some hugely invasive, all encompassing, major endeavor. Instead, while in chastity, a couple little comments here and there would go a very very long way.

Anyway, the day she returned was a bust, but only because she was very tired, and we had a bunch of stuff to do with the kids and the house. By the time everything was done, we talked about her trip and caught up, but there was nothing sexual really going to happen. Of course, I was disappointed, but not really. I understood the situation.

Parenthetically, that same night we ended up talking about something that would end up being a major problem within our marriage. I'm being vague on purpose. Let's just say that night was the beginning of something that we've had to have major discussions since and we continue to struggle with it. It's the main reason I stopped blogging for a while, and it's definitely something that was a reason why any type of kink/chastity etc., went away.

But I digress. Back the situation at that time. The next night, we actually did talk about the device. She did say that while on the trip she had been thinking about me and specifically me in the device, it was just that she didn't feel comfortable texting around other people or something. Not entirely sure I believed her when she said that. Vulnerability breeds doubt, I think.

Anyway, we were happy to see each other and spend time together and things progressed nicely. We eventually started kissing and getting intimate. I felt different than before, because I was extremely curious to see where things would go. How would she react? Would she touch it? Would she even deal with it at all?

The questions were answered, because she eagerly went down there, rubbed, and licked, and played with it - which was unbelievable to me. Seriously. I never really thought she'd do that. Meaning, even if she accepted the whole concept because it was something I wanted to do, I never thought she'd be comfortable with "playing" with it. I never thought she'd embrace it being there.

Then, she blew my mind even further. While down there, she made comments like "you know what, I think I'll leave you in it longer." And after a while, she said "that's enough teasing for you. Maybe you'll get more tomorrow. Maybe not."

I could not believe it. It was phenomenal. I sort of went nuts on her. I went to town on her and brought her off on two incredible O's with my tongue! After that, I was so amped up, I blurted out that I'd love to give up all my orgasms if I could give her those kinds of orgasms and her response surprised me. She laughed and said "I'd gladly give up all your orgasms for those orgasms."

I was sky high. It was wonderful. Everything was going very well, and we had some great days immediately thereafter, but eventually, things fell apart.

Hiatus is Over - Chastity Worked!!!! (Sort of)

2011-07-18T14:04:00.000-07:00

I missed writing. A million things happened from my last post to the ones that will follow.

Ultimately, the explanation for my absence is due to a) death in the family; b) two marriages in the family; c) work (of course) and d) some crazy good and crazy bad stuff with my wife.

Details of the events are worthy reading and will be forthcoming, but they will be only focused on the interactions between my wife and I.

Giving a shortcut of the results of everything that has happened from May to the present, we've gone from engaging in the use of a chastity device (YES!!! FINALLY!!!! She was much more receptive that I had ever imagined) to having marital problems and then to now. Now, we are both on the same ground, both committed to each other, both in love with each other..........but with residual issues that prevent me from proclaiming complete happiness in the marriage. That last sentence doesn't mean to imply that we are unhappy in the marriage, just that time will be required before we are back where we were before.

The following, then, has already happened. I'll try to describe the things that were going through my mind when they occurred, but the results and issues have already occurred. So, while reading, I guess the spoiler is that other than the first time, we have not used the device since. In that respect, it didn't work. On the other hand, as you'll read below, it did work.

I had been desiring to get to use a chastity device for a long time. The self imposed chastity was o.k., but it didn't bring an outward interest from her, which is often the case. (I actually agree with Susan's Pet, mostly, on the types of reactions women will have and my situation is a common one, I expect.)

I knew that if I explained what a chastity device was, or tried showing it to her on the internet, that would be a turn off for her. It's the weirdness of it that would bring out a natural aversion reaction. Therefore, I purchased a CB-6000 (got it cheap) and figured it would be a good starter/play piece. I never expected it to be a 24/7 thing.

I purchased it well in advance of her taking a girls trip out of town. My plan was to present it to her before she left, locking me in it while she was out of town. I'm sure that anyone who is actually interested in my blog understands the attractiveness, from the male point of view, of that situation.

Once it arrived, I actually wore it to work several days, without her knowledge. I figured I had better know what it feels like and if I could handle it before I presented it to her. This was done in stealth. She never knew. I'd put it on at work and then take it off before coming home.

This was an incredible turn on, even though I could remove it at any time. It definitely fueled the fantasy. It was very good thing that I used the device before presenting it to her, because it did take many different experiments with the spacers and ring to find the size that wasn't too restrictive that it hurt too badly, but also not loose enough where I could pull it out.

The erections were definetely painfull........but for me, it was a delicious pain. Loved feeling locked. I enjoyed having it locked away. My time in it by myself was such a turn on for me, that I couldn't wait to see if she would actually like it.

I kept wanting to show her or tell her, but kept chickening out. I've done kinky stuff with her before, but I really feared I was going way out on the ledge with this one. There were nights that I had promised myself to bring it up and the mood was not right, so I didn't.

Push came to shove, however, on the night before she left. It was "now or never." She was going to be gone for more than 4 days, so we did spend a lot of time together that night. Finally, as we were getting ready to go to bed, I took the plunge.

I told her that it was going to be a tough time with her gone, because I'd miss her, but also because usually when she left like that, I'd masturbate while she was gone. She immediately said "you can masturbate." In my own head, that was a bad thing and didn't "bode" well for my planned major step, because it indicated to me that she didn't embrace the "denial" idea.

Then I told her I bought something and her reaction was similar to previous things. She got sort of an incredulous "what the heck is he going to spring on me now?" look. She never gets upset, grossed out necessarily, or whatever, it's just that she has no idea what major, new, odd, interesting thing is going to happen. So when I told her I bought something, I'm sure she was thinking it was some sort of sex toy for me to use on her or something.

We went upstairs and I told her I wanted to wear a chastity device while she was gone and I showed it to her. She didn't understand it or embrace it. Even looking it, she had no idea what I was talking about. She was laughing (not in a mocking way) and still listening though, so that was a good thing! She was not freaked out, so I figured this was going much better than I had thought it would!

I ended up having to show her how it worked (not actually putting it on yet)and telling her what it was and what it would do, and what I couldn't do with it on. Again, she kept just shaking her head, but in a good way. She took it remarkably well - which was a positive sign to me that she's getting very comfortable with the craziness I embrace. That old saying "It's only kinky the first time" really is true. The more you talk, the more you, the more normal it becomes.

As I was trying to explain the idea of what it did, she did say the normal reaction things like "does it hurt", "I'd never want anything like that on me," "I can't believe you'd want that," and "I have no idea why you'd want that." These didn't bother me, because I never envisioned or thought she'd immediately understand and grasp the concept immediately. She never did show revulsion to me and was even funny, because she apologized to my penis, saying that she "wasn't doing this to you" etc.

When I was explaining stuff to her, and gave her key, she would say things like "what happens if they see this little key, am I supposed to tell them its because my husbands cock is locked up" which immediately sent my cock straigt up. I didn't have it on yet, and kept telling her to stop saying stuff like that. She was laughing at this situation, finding it amusing.

I know this sounds odd, but while she was very accepting, not grossed out, and was laughing about it, I could also tell that she didn't really understand it and she was definitely not turned on about it. And by that, I mean she wasn't excited about it from her point of view.

I did put it on and she spent time checking it out. We engaged in other playful banter and that that night she did play with it a little, with me in it, but nothing special. No verbal statements about it, no further discussion about it and nothing special. I did end up bringing her off (when I was in the device), and that was a more turn on for me. I was straining it, big time, and it was tight tight tight. It was super hot for me.

But, afterward, she went to sleep and she didn't even mention anything about it. That's what made me think that she wasn't really that turned on by the situation.

She left the next morning, not mentioning it, and never mentioned it the entire weekend. We communicated a lot over the weekend, texts here and there, about stuff she was doing, I was doing, other stuff. It was very fun. But.....she never mentioned it once.

It was a long time she was gone. I didn't want to be the one to bring it up, instead waiting for her. It was disappointing that it was never mentioned.

For my own response to being in it for that long of time - it was great. I enjoyed it. It also hurt and I couldn't clean it well. No matter what I did to clean it with soap and water in the shower, I couldn't scrub everything in there, and then I couldn't dry it, so I could tell it wasn't getting clean. As a 24/7 thing, I knew it would never work. I would have to be let out each morning to clean/dry, then put back in for the rest of the day.

It also hurt around the skin around the testicles. It didn't hurt otherwise, but sitting down, there was as stretching/rubbing that was not good. I could sit certain ways to lessen that, which I did and helped. As a sexual turn-on, however, it was off the charts great. I loved it.

On the day she was coming home, but while she was still there, she did text "Are you ready for 'freedom' tonight. :)" It was the first mention and I immediately got hard. I couldn't figure out what to text in response. I didn't want to go overly excited, but wanted to convey to her that the text was something I craved and hoped she liked. I ended up responding "I'd love freedom. I'd love you doing whatever you want to do. But I'd also love you teasing and denying me - making me stay in longer. Thanks for the text too. Had an immediate 'impact' on me. :)"

Sadly, she never responded that text!

I'll update what happened when she got home later.

Responses to the Great Comments on the "Expanding on Susan's Pet's Tease & Deny Post"

2011-05-09T10:20:00.000-07:00

First off, thanks to all that took the time to comment. I do appreciate your insights and thoughts.

Rene - I understand what you're saying, and I agree that most people are like that. There are many examples where you'll read about the submissive man trying to get the wife to be "dominant" and it doesn't go anywhere because she either is not interested or just does whatever the submissive guy says. Yes, those fail. The intereseting part of that equation that never gets discussed, however, is why it fails.

My thoughts were just that when your life partner comes to you with a desire, shouldn't you be very interested in that? Wouldn't you want to know all about how she feels about it? What turns her on? What her thoughts are? I think that is (or should) be true for any couple.

That's not just limited to anything sexual. It applies to anything about that person. Whatever she's going through, whether it's with work, the kids, life philosophy, I'm supremely interested in discussing that with her because she (and the kids) are the most important people in my life!! I don't necessarily care what my friends wife's thoughts are, just my wife's!

You're right that you can't feel dominated if she refuses to do it. And you're right that if it's too far out of her original personality structure, it'll never work. That's not to mean that previously vanilla wives wouldn't actually enjoy it. So definitely go ahead and ask!

Susan's Pet - A marriage (especially when there are kids involved) is so much deeper than sexual relations, though it is an important aspect. Trying to manage intimate relations, along with life, and then adding "kink" at the urging of one party over the other, does make for a "return to normal" so to speak.

I know that I'm much kinkier than my wife. I know that if I never brought it up to her, we we would never be where we are today. But when I made the decision to try to incorporate this to her, well, it's been a long journey! She was o.k. with the idea, but it took more and more discussions and proding to get anything going. Fast forward a long time and it has gotten to the point where she knows how I feel, accepts it, understands where I'm coming from and, most importantly, now makes the effort to be much more engaging. (A full post on that is coming up.) It's taken a long time to get to that point, but suffice it to say that now, she does things on her own, is much more accepting and receptive of things, and very willing to participate.

I'm Hers - My thing has always been "we are married and in love first" and unless that is a really strong and happy relationship, kink cannot survive. I think that part of our success is that everything comes from a strong relationship and being in love and then we add the kink as a compliment to our life.

AAT - Couldn't agree more. You write: "The only way that this type of relationship is going to work realistically is if the couple can find ways to please and satisfy each others needs and desires, that are both realistic and acceptable to each other." Absolutely!!! And it's something we have actively worked on. The mistake many people make is that they want to incorporate every kink and aspect over night. They want to go from a completley kinkless/vanilla life, to her all of a suddent denying him, putting him in a chastity belt, humiliating in him in public, etc. It has to be a slow transition. The saying "It's only kinky the first time" is funny, but also true. Trying to incorporate one little change first, waiting for that to become the norm, and then doing the next, waiting, then the next and so on is much more effective.

From reading your blog, Jane has certainly changed and evolved from the beginning. It's taken a long time to get where you are, and it's still evolving. That is the same journey I am on with my wife. We are in a different place today than we were two years ago. Do I want us to keep going, having her become more dominant and more in control? Yes. Do I all of a sudden, tomorrow, present her with a contract, listing all the duties and responsibilities I'd do, punishments, etc? No, becuase it's too much change. Maybe years in the future when everything is still going along nicely.

As for the other portion of your comment - I'm not entirely sure that the "wife needs to feel loved" and the "submissive wants to feel controlled, even dominated" are necessarily mutually exclusive. But then again, the devil is in the details, because I can easily see situations in which you are correct.

Sorry for the Delay

2011-05-04T15:55:00.000-07:00

Many people in the blogger world that I respect and regularly read their blogs made comments that were interesting, insightful and much appreciated. I will get back to those soon.

One reason for the delay was that sadly, for a while, not everything was "wonderful" on our end. We ended up having a major fight about something completely unrelated to any sexual stuff, but it did make me (and us) more focused on resolving those issues - so everything else kind of went on the back burner. That is life sometimes.

The good thing is that we have talked a lot lately and resolved the things and all is good. It was always going to be good, but we just needed the discussion and for time to take its course.

The other good thing is that during those dicussions, we briefly delved into the orgasm control we are doing. I'm happy to report that she is definitely still on board, is enjoying it, and wanting to keep doing it. That, of course, was a very good thing.

I know that for myself, despite receiving warnings about this, I find it extremely difficult to tamper my desire for full blown entry into the chastity lifestyle by her. I end up thinking about it a lot, much more than she could ever come close to doing. That is part of our personality differences too. I am the type (which is very good for what I do for a living), to completely focus on one thing for a long period of time.

Anyway, despite my knowledge and understanding that she wasn't going to all of a sudden start teasing and denying me on a daily basis, start tying me up, doing research and purchasing chastity devices and the like, I was still hoping for "more." I did want more interaction between us - even if it was just a text here or there. She is on board with the chastity concept.......though there are still "tease" and "denial" things that I would like more of than she has given in the past. But we're working on that explanation of how I feel and then also what she actually wants and enjoys.

Our discussion did center around whether she was truly enjoying the new dynamic and, like I said, she confirmed she did. She admitted that she wanted to spend more time together, but that life gets in the way.

We were both pleased with the understanding. And based on that, with her going away for the weekend (with her girlfriends) coming up, I decided to buy a CB-6000 and am considering approaching her with me using it while she's gone. Our discussion leads me to believe that she would open to the idea. It's something that wouldn't add any additional "burden" so to speak on her.

We shall see.

Expanding on Susan's Pet's Tease & Deny Post

2011-04-12T14:52:00.000-07:00

Before reading my post, please do yourself a favor and read Susan's Pet's post on Tease & Denial. Not only is it a good article, but what I will provide in this post dovetails off of that post.

http://hersforever.blogspot.com/2011/03/trouble-with-practice-of-tease-and-deny.html

While I agree with most of that article, I did want to expand on a concept I've been kicking around for while, and it's one he sort of brings up.

In generally stating that unless the wife, after being introduced to the concept of tease and denial actually gets off on it, the wife will generally not participate. Some will not participate at all, while others will engage in it, at best, sporadically. Quoting from Susan's Pet: "One might say that even in a vanilla relationship a woman will do things for her partner simply because she loves him and knows that he needs it. Yes she will do that sometimes, but not often enough."

And that concept is something that has always confused me. And maybe it confuses me because I want to please my partner, but are people really that selfish that they can't derive pleasure from giving their life partner what they want?

I love performing cunnilingus. Why? I would imagine that the fact she really enjoys it is why I enjoy it so much. (Or maybe that's circular thinking? Does she enjoy it that much because I'm good at it and I enjoy doing it?)

Anyway, my point is, I like to make my wife happy. Many people reading this may say "well, that's because you're submissive", but my response then is: "are you telling me that vanilla couples don't want to make each other happy?" That's my source of confusion. How is it that people get married, but know that their significant other loves thing "X", but they don't do it or give "X" to their significant other?!?!?! I don't get it. I truly don't understand that concept.

It has always made me laugh whenever I read articles in the newspaper, see headlines in relationship sites, or Cosmo or something about women bitching that their men are not "romantic". These women clearly love the full blown romance thing, yet the slug they married doesn't ever do anything like that for them. I'm always flabbergasted that the guy has a girl who so desires something, but the guy won't ever do it.

Just seems to me that people who are married should be in love to the point where doing things for your significant other is what makes you happy! Ever since we've been married, I've done things for her that I only did because I knew she liked it.

And even habits that I had that she did not like I changed. That's been a two way street. For whatever reason, dishes in the sink overnight flipped her out. I was generally the type who left them till I felt like doing them. Well, after marriage and I found out how much she hated it, I changed my behavior to wash the dishes as they were used. Conversely, I hated caps left off toothpaste. She never put it back on. She changed her behavior.

Those are kind of silly examples, but as I partially responded to Susan's Pet post on his site, if my wife came to me and said "you know, doing full body massages really really turns me on", well, I'd go out and buy a professional massage table, take a class and go off on her.

This is not absolute. Everyone has "limits." If she came to me and wanted to do scat, or adult baby stuff, I could never get into it. However, the list is rather small.

Regardless, even things that I don't particularly have a desire for, my point is simply that if I knew she had a strong desire for them, I would then have a strong desire for it because I knew how much she liked it.

Please don't take this post to mean that I'm believing that every person should do things for any random person. I can't stand "high maintenance" girls, so it's not like I could love dealing and engaging in those antics. But then again, I would have never married a high maintenance girl.

My point is that if you marry someone, isn't that person you're married to the person you want to make happy? From what I see and read, however, is that I am not the norm. Most people are not like that. Most people are completely unwilling to engage in something that they do not personally like for the benefit of the significant other and, even if they are, they don't particularly end up enjoying it. A guy may realize his wife wants the big romance thing, so he'll do it for her, but he doesn't enjoy doing it. I don't understand that thinking.

Stress

2011-04-12T10:25:00.000-07:00

Just curious about others on this post.

Whenever I get stressed (work, family, whatever), I find that I desire kink more and more. Playing pop psychologist, I would assume it's an escape mechanism. Something to get my mind off the stres. Not sure. I just know that when I get seriously stressed at work, I desire nothing more than to come home to a wife who would be as cruel as possible.

Normally, I'm up for any type of interaction with my wife when I get home. If she's in the mood for romance, cuddling, whatever, I'm all for it. Even when I'm stressed, that's true. And, I normally would welcome any type of kink she was interested in.

It's just that when I'm stressed, my desire for the more "extreme" forms of chastity or WLM or femdom come out.

I don't believe my wife shares that same reaction. I think she's just the opposite. If she's happy, kids were great, she's making lots of money etc., she's much friskier.

I wonder what other people's experience is.

Sadly, nothing new to report

2011-04-04T11:30:00.000-07:00

I wish that I could be posting about something new and interesting related to our situation, but right now, there's just nothing "post worthy." Sure, we've been having some fun, but new or advancing the ball.

They're out there

2011-03-22T08:29:00.000-07:00

There is a lot of talk in the Internet Male Chastity community, or WLM/FLR community, about convincing a vanilla wife to participate and that this is usually a failing endeavor.

I make no prediction on whether that is true, or not. Why? Because it's impossible to know, because I do not personally know anyone else who engages in this type of lifestyle. Sure, there are people on the Internet that I read their blogs and sometimes communicate with. But I have never sat down and actually discussed any of this in a face to face conversation. Heck, there's even a very strong section of people who believe that Elise Sutton, one of the very first Internet presence on the Internet to discuss WLM/FLR isn't even a really woman.

Here's the thing - if you were to ask every person that I actually know if they thought I would be involved in Male Chastity, WLM/FLR or anything like that, they'd immediately say no. I'm sure that there are friends of mine who engage in a lifestyle that I have no idea about.

Does that mean it's more common than reported or whatever. Again, I have no idea.

I will say, that when I see pictures like this, it's obvious that there are some real people out there who engage in this behavior and have fun with it.

(Note - this is NOT me or my wife. Pic found on the Internet.)

Now, I personally never ever expect for my wife to ever get anywhere near what I would wish she would get to. I just hope to enjoy whatever steps she does take towards where I hope we go.

Couldn't agree more.

2011-03-16T13:40:00.001-07:00

Click on the link to check out this photo and the comment written by the owner of the tumblr.

Really - the title of my post says it all: I couldn't agree more with Mr. Clove Harwood here.

(if my computer skills failed, cut and paste from this: http://clovehardwood.tumblr.com/post/3801316730)

Hot - but not

2011-03-15T17:12:00.000-07:00

Confusing, conflicting, wonderful and hot. All adjectives that surround what's going on. It's been a roller coaster.

For about 2 weeks (about), we went through a patch were she totally ignored me. And I mean ignored me in the normal relationship way - not the ignored me about my orgasms. Yes, during this 2 week period we didn't have sex at all. And I mean, she didn't receive any sex either. But that's not even what I was referring to about ignoring. It was that she seemed to want nothing to do with me. Not hang out. Not talk. Nothing. I never received a good answer as to what was going on.

Then, just as quickly as that happened, she seemed to turn a corner. All of a sudden, when driving with the kids, instead of checking her phone, she would talk with me. When we were at a party, she'd actually talk to me. Even dance with me.

At the same time, the sex started to heat up. Not surprising that the two coincided, but still a mystery to me as to the 2 week problem.

Now, there have been minor elements of teasing here and there. No outright denial recently. That has happened in the past, so I know she still enjoys it. There has been a change, though. The last two times, she has initiated it, which is more than she did before. One time, she just sat down next to me and then started to slowly and lightly graze my crotch till I was raging. She did this for a long long time. I definitely had to bring her off with my tongue because I think she still doesn't understand that if I go long periods of time without release, and then she plays with me, bringing me to the edge, there is no way I can "restart" and last long!

The last time, which was earlier this week, I was upstairs watching tv in bed. She climbed in and immediately grabbed me. I took the opening to ravish her, spending a lot of time kissing. She was laying on top of me and I pulled her pants/underwear off. I grabbed her ass and brought her up to my face. She rode my face and was grinding until I could sense when she was about to come. Right before she came, she pulled off, but still straddling me! I was kinda surprised, and actually thought I accidentally hurt her or she got a cramp or something, so I asked if everything was o.k. She responded "yea, I just want it to last longer." After a while she lowered herself back on me and I continued licking, sucking, nibbling. She pulled herself off twice more before she let herself come. It was phenomenal.

She wasn't done, though, as after a little rest, she lowered herself onto me. Again, I had to tell her I couldn't last long at all. Sure enough, I came wayyyyyy before she did, but she didn't care. She kept riding till she was done and satisfied.

Now that was a blast.

Interesting

2011-03-07T10:14:00.000-08:00

This is not related to my relationship with my wife, but it is an interesting topic nonetheless.

This is the first time this has ever happened - I recently came across some photos of a woman using a strap-on on a man, and I'm 99.9% positive that the woman is a woman I know from work. She's not at my place of work, but I know her, and we do have the occasion to see each other at work related events.

Now, the photos I saw too are not amateur photos. These are clearly professionally done. I would have thought that if I ever recognized a photo in this situation, it would have been of the amateur variety, not the professional!

The interesting part is that I do not know her well enough to ever engage in any type of conversation that would revolve around sex, let alone talk to her about her professional pornography past!

I have no idea how she would react about that sort of thing. Would she be embarrassed, mortified, or proud? The thing is, I do not think any less of her - in fact, if anything, I'm more impressed by her. I admire her more.

Wow, wow, wow

2011-02-25T09:25:00.000-08:00

I usually don't post graphic pics. Not really my style. But this one? Great googly moogly! Words escape.

Taken from this website: http://neuromante.tumblr.com/post/3504788367/via-fap-to

Key Picture

2011-02-23T14:31:00.000-08:00

Or should I say "keys picture."

Of course, if yours happened to be in there, I'll bet you could find it in a manner of seconds!

(Sadly, this is not something my wife had done! I wish. The picture was taken from: http://roarieyum.tumblr.com/)

Moving slowly

2011-02-16T08:49:00.000-08:00

We've been having some fun lately, and I'm definitely happier doing this than not doing it, but it is difficult to not keep craving more and more.

I still am the one to initiate sexual contact. She hardly ever does. She's receptive when I do, so that's all good, but having her initiate it would be important to me, because it does signal that she wants it.

On the other hand, when I do intiate it, she had begun to wrap her head around the denial portion. There have been two recent times in which after lengthy foreplay, I brought her off and there was no reciprocation. Of course, greedy person as I am in this arena, I secrety wished for the tease portion too. Or, at least, a verbal teasing about how she wasn't going to let me cum.

Another time, when in bed watching tv, right before she fell asleep, she did very gently start to stroke me, outside of my underwear, and got me seriously raging. I wasn't on the actual edge, but was getting damn close. She eventually gave me a little pat and then kissed me good night. She was asleep in a couple of minutes. I loved that, and made sure to tell her how much I loved it the next day.

Still, since there isn't an increased verbalization from her, or an increased initiation of intimacy (other than the one time), I do wonder if she's enjoying this, or feels as if she's being forced to do it by me. I hope that she's enjoying it, because it would be completely unfair if she was doing this only for me, instead of for us.

Chastity Feelings

2011-02-10T12:41:00.000-08:00

This post is sort of all over the place, but bear with me.

I am not in a device. I am, I guess, on the "honor" system. When we started, she was agreed to be in charge of all orgasms and that I wouldn't masturbate. She hasn't asked me whether I've ever had any unauthorized orgasms or anything. (The fact that she hasn't asked is a topic for a different post.) But, anyway, I've kept my word and not had any unauthorized orgasms.

I would have thought that I would be hornier and hornier as the day went past, but I find that's not technically correct. What I've found is that I have no problem with chastity when we do not engage in any intimate behavior. Intimate behavior is not equal to sex. I simply mean any verbal or physical contact that is "fun." If the only communication I get from her in a day is about "stuff that is going on" - i.e., "have to take the kids to xyz", or "I had to deal with that guy from accounting ....", then I have no problem being in chastity. I don't get overly excited.

On the other hand, when we do engage in anything, even the simpliest things, it's all I can think about. I could be sitting on the couch and she just casually puts her foot on my thigh and then, well, all bets are off. I can barely contain myself. But if she never puts the foot there, I can focus on TV or whatever else I'm doing/reading.

So, now, with that backstory, here is another backstory. My wife wears thongs. In fact, she doesn't own any other type of underwear. Thongs all the time. I, of course, love that about her. Admittedly, though, when you see her every day in a thong, it does lose some of it's "bite", so to speak. When I see her in that thong, since I've seen it for the very many years we've been married, it doesn't carry the same weight as I was describing above. She also sleeps in thongs, with usually nothing else on the bottom. When we go to bed, it's not that big of a deal.

But.......a couple of nights ago, we played, she had a great orgasm and I was denied. I struggled through that night (happily struggled, mind you. I thoroughly enjoyed such "struggling.")

Last night, though, we went to bed and I knew she would not want to fool around. I was still charged from the night before and she had just taken a shower and shaved. She was smelling, looking and feeling great. Her mood was not playful, so we simply slept.

My horniness did not subside. By the time I woke up at about 5:00, I already had a raging erection. I rolled over to her, spooning her, pressing my erection against back side, and placing my hands on her bare legs. She felt so smooth and warm. She was still sleeping, of course, but I stayed in that position, savoring the feel.

She stirred a couple of times, and I could tell that despite being asleep, she was now aware of my very close presence. After a while, she got up to go to the bathroom and then came back to bed. When she got back in, we spooned again and I knew that she knew what state I was in. It was clear that she just wanted to sleep, so I contented myself with being close to her.

Oddly, or maybe not, but I really wanted to just roll over on her, rip the thong off and make love to her, but knew that even if I did that, it would be extremely unsatisfying for her because I would last less than a minute, given state.

Eventually, I needed to get up and take a shower, but instead of slowly and quietly slipping out of bed like I usually do, I did lean on top of her and kiss her cheek several times, giving her a little hug.

Her response? Amusingly annoyed, she simply said "Go back to sleep!" I informed I was just actually getting up and wanted to kiss her. And with that, I took my shower.

But, her response - well, that was awsome. I loved that response. It encapsulated a lot. It told me she knew what I was doing, what I was feeling, she wanted to sleep, and that she enjoyed the moment.

I do love my wife.

A fantasy of mine

2011-02-08T10:11:00.000-08:00

As part of the orgasm control, and control in general, this photo (among the others I've previously posted), definitely hits a nerve for me.

As I imagine it, she teases me throughout the day, telling me that maybe tonight we'll play. When the times comes, she says I'm due for a little penetrative sex. With a wicked smile, she pulls this out and, of course, brings me to the edge, but refuses to let me come.

Three

2011-02-07T14:48:00.001-08:00

Too many for my liking! But she wants it, she's in control, so she gets what she wants.

What we haven't had, however, is more frequent events. Part of that was due to a visit from the monthly visitor. The other half is how busy we are. And channeling my best Yogi Berra, the other half is her not embracing the control as much I would have hoped or thought. Still, we are young in the game and we'll see where it goes.

Two

2011-01-20T08:11:00.000-08:00

That's the number of times since the beginning of the year. Which is actually more than I thought would occur.

One time, though, was when she wanted intercourse. I've mentioned before that she much prefers the real thing rather than toys. While she can enjoy a dildo or vibrator, she prefers the real thing more. It's something I did think about before this started.

When I am in orgasm denial, I don't last very long. There is just no way we can have intercourse with me not having an orgasm.

Not that I'm disappointed or anything. This is more orgasm control than chastity. It's whenever she wants it, not me.

Love This, but.....

2011-01-07T09:02:00.001-08:00

Found this on the internet. (It is not mine.) Whoever created this for the person coming home came up with a great idea. But, it's "you're under attack", not "your under attack!!" Come on people!

Nice!

2011-01-06T15:13:00.000-08:00

If you haven't read it, click and paste this story.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_mega_millions

I wonder what type of marriage he's in!?!?!

The Situation So Far

2011-01-05T18:24:00.000-08:00

We are still very early on the orgasm control. It's funny, though, because I think she has perceived it as me have a much increased desire for her. That's not entirely accurate, though. The thing is, even when I was masturbating, I wanted to be with her every night of the week. I knew she would not enjoy that, so I refrained. I refrained many, many times from even suggesting anything, because I didn't want to make her feel bad for refusing.

Now that we are into the orgasm control, I think she is perceiving that whenever I touch her, playfully grab her butt, cuddle her at night, stroke her leg or stomach or something, she is thinking "oh, he wants sex again."

While that is true, it's also very NOT true. Many times I'm doing it just to have the touch/intimacy. On the other hand, it is correct because if she ever started kissing me, or invited it to go further, I would definitely do it. I guess the interesting thing to me is, my desire for her is not different now than before the orgasm control. I was this much in love and desired her before we started this.

A couple of nights ago, she was very tired when hitting the bed, but I became frisky. She made a comment like "really, even when I'm this tired? I should really start letting you masturbate again." She said it more of joke than anything. I thought it was kind of funny.

I brought her off to two orgasms and the lay there on the bed, face down, while I gently stroked her back. After a couple of minutes, she got up and went to the bathroom, came back to bed, told me to put her pants back on and said it was time for bed.

Loved the way she did that. That was great.

On the other hand, it's not all perfect, at least for me. Only because I am still curious to see what she thinks about the whole thing, independently of me. I've already discussed before that she does not like to discuss these things continually. No matter how I cut it, it's still a discussion about sex and she does discuss sex every once in while, but does not want to do that once or twice a week. So, I'm not sure at all what she's feeling or thinking about the whole thing.

Does she just enjoy the orgasms? Does she actually think about my situation? Does that turn her on? Does she actually like to deny me, or is it more of where she had her orgasm and is perfectly happy to go to sleep? Does the thought even cross her mind that "my, my, my, he hasn't cum in two weeks. I wonder what he's feeling?"

One thing that has not happened is any type of increased attention from her. There isn't any increased touching on her part, and definitely no teasing or even comments about teasing. That's part of the reason why I'm so curious about what's going on in her head.

That was Short

2010-12-30T11:36:00.001-08:00

Last night, we played and she gave me a "release" (her words :)). Now, for someone desperately desiring chastity, having her give me a "release" only the third time we engaged in sexual relations would seem like a disappointment, but it was not.

Why? Well, because when we discussed chastity, it was not "put me in chastity for a month." It was "you get 100% complete control over all of my orgasms. I cannot have an orgasm without your permission. When and if I ever have an orgasm is completely up to you."

And that is what made the other night completely fine in my book. In explaining why she was giving me a release, she mentioned two things: first, she thoroughly enjoys giving me orgasms and that she's not going deprive herself of that pleasure; and 2) she could tell I was really really amped up.

Now, she was correct about the "amped" up part. While we had only really been doing this for a week, I had actually not had an orgasm for about a week and a half before that discussion. I had made a decision on my own to not masturbate anymore, only having orgasms when we engaged together, so there had been a period of time without any release on my part before she agreed. Once she agreed, of course I didn't have any releases. So, with the excitement of her agreeing to do this together and engaging in sexual relations without a release really had me going.

As for the night, it was great. Immediately upon getting into bed we went at it. I spent a long time on foreplay and then got her off on a rather intense orgasm. As soon as she was done, I scooted back up to her, hugged her and kissed her passionately and stated that I loved doing that for her and that I derived more pleasure doing that for her than having my own orgasms.

It was then that we talked a bit more and that was when she stated that despite that information, she would still be giving me releases because she liked doing that to me too much to not do it. Obviously, given my position, I can fully understand her feelings.

Which brought up the last issue that I wanted hammer home with her. I emphasized that she was in charge and so she could do whatever she wanted. She did not have to sit there and try to figure out how long I wanted to be chastity or whatever. She did not have to feel pressure to "release" me when she was not in the mood. If she was in the mood to release me at any time, way, shape or form, it was up to her. I believe she understands that and it will be interesting to see how it is implemented in the future.

I'm also very curious to see if she ever considers the situation over. Much like At All Times' situation with Jane, my wife is not one to ever really discuss these things on her own. She does not bring them up. I'm left to either bring them up or sit and wonder. I have lots of thoughts in my head that I want to tell her, but feel that I need to hold back for fear of pestering her, making it all about the sex etc. I do wonder whether she fully grasps the amount of control she does have and effect on it has on me.

Again, it is a slow process and I realize that everything has its time and place.

Things are going nicely

2010-12-29T08:50:00.000-08:00

And slowly, but in a good way.

Since that night, there has been more intimacy, even just sitting on the couch together, instead of doing different things.

Monday night, I was unbelievably horny, but knew she was tired and not in the mood. In bed, I was pressed so close to her, just to be able to feel that contact. Nothing happened, but I definitely spooned her and kept touching her throughout the night. At one point, she told me to scoot away.

It was funny because out of the blue on Tuesday she sent an email saying that she knew what I was doing on Monday night and to stop it! She meant it in a playful, funny way and it was much appreciated.

This hasn't turned into a 24/7 tease and denial session and, of course, I never expected it to. We are still gradually engaging in this and it will be interesting to see where it goes.

From my perspective, it is going great though!

It's Done

2010-12-22T09:31:00.000-08:00

This is going to be a long post, so bear with me.

In my last post, I stated that I was planning on bringing her a rose and thanking her for Sunday night. Based on conversations we had later in the afternoon while I was still at work, bringing the rose was not going to be a good plan. I scrapped that idea.

Instead, on Monday night, I briefly and casually mentioned to her that I enjoyed Sunday night and left it that. She smiled and said she enjoyed it too. That was the end of the conversation. I wondered whether she truly understood that it was the full package of Sunday, as opposed to just and idea that we were intimate. There is a subtle difference in possible perception of Sunday night. On the one hand, I believe that almost all women in the world would like a night that occurred on Sunday. So, obviously, when she says she enjoyed it too, do I truly understand why she enjoyed it? Did she enjoy it because she was tired, got a massage, and had a great orgasm? Did she enjoy it because in addition to that, she did not have to reciprocate? Did she enjoy it because she actually got off on the idea of not doing anything sexual to me? Did she enjoy it because she knew I enjoyed it? Did she not really understand why I would like to have a night like that with her, thought it odd, but regardless, humored me because the result is long, sensual, relaxing, massage and then a great orgasm?

Communication is a funny thing. A simple comment between us wherein we both express happiness, but have we really communicated our feelings, desires, thoughts?

I was thinking all of these things on a deeper level, but on the surface, I did know that Sunday night touches and fulfills a deep need for me, and that she does enjoy that type of night too.

To put it bluntly, those are good things. I knew it was another slow step towards building a more intimate relationship between us. And that's the ultimate goal. I love this woman. In addition to that, I have these submissive tendencies in her presence, I have these kinks, and I have a desire to be more intimate with her. The term "intimate" does not mean sex. To me, it means more communication, more physical contact (regardless of sex), more playfulness and more quality time spent together.

"At all Times" suggested in my previous post that it might not be a good idea to bust out with a formal request for chastity after Sunday night. That was good advice, especially because the timing and situation was not right on Monday night. Showing her more and more about how and why Sunday night was great was a better idea.

But Tuesday brought forth an opportunity for me out of the blue. We had been emailing with each other throughout the day about day to day stuff. Then she emailed that a friend took our kids for a playdate, so she was excited to have free time to complete a bunch of errands and also get her nails done.

I responded that I was happy for her, especially getting to be able to run the errands without the kids. I also responded, though, "You don't have to get your nails done. You know that I love doing that for you. I understand the desire to be able to sit and have your nails done without the kids, so if that's what you want that's great. But I'd love to do them for you tonight."

Her response was "ok., maybe I won't get them done and have you do them tonight :)" I responded with "yea!!! That would make me very happy and I hope would make you very happy too."

Throughout the day, I never got confirmation one way or the other as to what happened. I did find out close to leaving work that we were going to be having a bunch of kids sleeping over, so I figured the nails wouldn't occur.

When I arrived home, there was a house full of kids (chaos - but good chaos - love those kids), and she was actually making dinner. As we talked, I noticed that her nails were done. They looked great on her. I didn't say anything. The kids had already eaten, so we sat down and had a nice meal together talking about everything. Near the end, I mentioned her nails and she told about this new place a friend had recommended that she wanted to try, it was with a different type of procedure and she was happy with them. I complimented her on nice they looked. She did mention, however, that she didn't get her toes done. She didn't mention whether she wanted me to do them, so it was just left hanging.

Fast forward a lot time and finally the kids were in beds and we were in our room watching tv. It was funny, because I still didn't really know whether she wanted me to do her toes. As we were sitting on the top of the covers, she took of her socks and sat there for a bit. I was about to offer to do her nails, but instead, she simply handed me a bottle of polish!

If you're reading my blog, then you'll understand - her simply taking off her socks and handing me the polish was phenomenal. I was immediately excited by her simple, silent, demand. It wasn't a demand, though. She didn't have to "order" me to do her nails. At the time she handed the polish to me, my heart leapt a bit, because it gave me the hope that maybe, just maybe, she was beginning to understand not only me, but also herself.

I talked about subtle differences before and it applies here. In my particular situation with her, prior attempts at discussing Femdom, being submissive, or BDSM or whatever, always led her have the repugnant vision of her being leather clad, wearing 6 inch thigh high boot, whip wielding, and calling me a worm. Not only is that not what I wanted, but also very clearly not what she ever wanted. Still, whenever the discussions began, that was her baseline, even if that's not what I was attempting to convey. Over the last year, I've made the concerted effort to convey that's not the situation.

So, the subtle difference her was, in our most recent discussions, and my most recent offer to do her nails, it led me to believe she understood it to be exactly what it represented. She could "demand" for me to do her nails, but she didn't have to do it as a leather clad Femdom. She could simply say, "I'd like my nails done tonight" and know that when this occurred, it would also make me very happy.

I spent the next 30 minutes or so, giving her feet the full procedure. Buffing the feet, applying the lotion on the feet, clipping the nails, and painting and polishing the feet. All the while we (well, mainly her) watched tv and talking to each other. Sublime.

Once finished, I cleaned everything up and got back in bed. Another 10 minutes or so went by. I was perfectly content and happy.

But then, she did something I never expected and still can't believe. And even as I think about it the day after, I still get excited and can't believe.

We were under the covers and she started to gently rub my thigh. Gradually she reached my groin and spent about 10 minutes lightly caressing, scratching and stroking me through my underwear. She never made any effort to do anything more. It was definitely light enough that it wouldn't ever bring me off, but highly enjoyable and maddening enough for me. I was literally panting and squirming. I cannot explain how phenomenal the feeling was or the thoughts that were flying through me head. I was almost thinking that she had somehow found this blog, or at least another WLM blog, or chastity blog or something because whether she knew it or not, she was making me insane.

Eventually she stopped and rolled on top of me and we kissed aggressively and passionately. I was fit to burst with her leisurely grinding on me. I could not take it any more. Sunday night, our conversations, the nails, what she was doing etc., I just could not hold back.

I began telling her how much I loved her, how much I enjoyed doing that for her on Sunday, how grateful I was that she let me do her nails and just watched in joy as she had a huge grin on her face. She enjoyed all of it too and I finally just took the plunge. I asked her if I could request something and, honestly, I think she knew. As weird as that sounds, I think she knew I was going to ask for "chastity." I explained how much we enjoyed doing it previously (albeit on a temporary basis), asked if she enjoyed it as much as I did, and asked her to have us engage in her complete control over all of my orgasms. That I could not masturbate anymore, that I could only have an orgasm whenever she said it was o.k. and that, of course, she could have as many orgasms as she wanted, whenever.

And she not only agreed, but was excited. Like this wasn't a weird request. Like she genuinely wanted to do it - for her and for us - not saying "yes" to the idea just because she wanted to placate me.

After we discussed it more and we talked about how she could have all of the orgasms she wanted, she said "so you've to work to do," and gently pushed me down. And when she was done, we spent time embracing and said it was time to sleep.

Can't even explain how happy I am right now. Best Christmas ever. I can't believe it.

I've refrained from drowning her lengthy discussions about it today. Last night, I told her how perfect it was and I absolutely don't want to suffocate her. I do not want her to think that now I'll be pestering her 24/7 about chastity or a WLM. I never even mentioned a device.

I have so many things I want to ask, want to do etc., but I have to thank all of the other blogs out there on these subjects, especially At all Times for not only their direct advice to me, but also the wisdom imparted in their own blogs. Without that information, I'm sure I would have screwed this up a long long time ago.

Follow Up

2010-12-20T09:13:00.000-08:00

It was a very long weekend, but in a good way. Lots of time spent with friends and family in festive settings, having a blast. We got home late both nights and were exhausted, so there was no playing, but we had been flirting with each other both nights.

Sunday night was no different with another party. We arrived home early, though, and were in bed by 9:00, with us both reading the Sunday paper. I was horny (as usual), but also knew how tired she was and that she really wanted to relax a little, read the paper, and go to bed.

Undaunted, but with a plan, I began touching her, lightly giving her kisses and received the response that I was expecting: she said "Really? I'm just so tired."

"Don't worry, you'll enjoy it, and you won't have to do anything." She looked at me, smirked, giving me the go-ahead, but I could tell she was still a little reluctant.

I manuevered her to be lying on her back and spent a long time just kissing and caressing her. Little nibbles on the neck. Gentle stroking of her face and eventually moving to her breasts. Long time spent on her stomach and breasts, all the while keeping her clothes on (it's cold out there!). She was thoroughly enjoying the attention and completely relaxing, allowing me to do everything.

Moving to my next plan, I removed her shirt, pants and underwear and then made her lie down face first. Clearly confused, she remarked "what are you doing now?" "You'll see," I said.

Once she was on her stomach, I began to give her a massage on her shoulders and back. She definitely enjoyed that for the 15 minutes I did on her shoulders, arms, and back. I then spent about 10 minutes massages her legs and caressing her legs and back.

I had accomplished everything I had hoped by that point - she was very relaxed, happy and aroused. Turning her back over, I then gently and slowly brought her to a strong orgasm with my mouth and hands. It wasn't fast and hard - more like a long, slow build up right till the end.

It took her some time to recover and I tried to start again, but was denied. She noted that she was still buzzing and completely content. We hugged and kissed more and after a couple of minutes, she reached for me and gently stroked.

We are not engaged in any time of chastity or orgasm denial. So, I assume she would have just continued. But, that wasn't the point. The point (for me) was that prior to starting all this, I had told her she didn't have to do anything. More importantly, I wanted again to show her a) that I thoroughly enjoyed doing this for her without any need for immediate reciprocation; and b) that this denial is enjoyable.

So I stopped her, explaining that wasn't necessary. I helped dress her again and had her lay her head on my chest, drapped around me and let her fall asleep.

Honestly - that night is the type of love making I enjoy, even more so than just kissing her for a bit, whiping the clothes off and plunging into her and being done in 5 minutes.

So, now, the next step. I am going to bring roses to her tonight, with a note, thanking her for last night. Depending on how the conversation goes after giving her the flowers, I may broach the subject of full time chastity. She'll have the kids all day today, so I never know what type of day it will be for her. She may be completely frazzled, but we'll see.

Gonna make it difficult to wait till the end of the day.

Stress

2010-12-16T09:17:00.000-08:00

I am finding that the more and more I get stressed at work, the more and more I am obsessing about approaching her with the request for full blown chastity, with a device. Not sure if it is directly related to the stress, or just a normal ebb and flow of my desires.

It also has led to me wonder I am have not yet approached her with the formal request. I'm not afraid of what she'll think of me. She is acutely aware that I'm very kinky. This will not come as a shock to her. Sarah Jameson's blog (www.malechastityblog.com), and others, have mentioned the unsuspecting vanilla wife being overwhelmed, shocked and appalled by the bomb being dropped on her out of the blue. As anyone who has read the majority of my own blog, that will not be the case for her.

In fact, for the last year, I have made it a point to slowly introduce things to her to make the more and more the norm than the "weird" thing. If a woman has never had a man eat her creampie before, the first time it occurs can be a huge range of emotions and thoughts. Shock, turned-on, feeling dirty, etc. But, if that same woman has a man who did it the first time, then did it every time from that point forward, that woman would feel the creampie eating was normal after a while.

I think I've succeeded in my introduction of various things with her that if I requested one day that we engage in permanent chastity, should would not be shocked, appalled or overwhelmed.

So why the delay? Probably boils down to the fact that I believe I have only one chance, one shot, to broach the subject to her and get a yes. And what I mean by that is a "yes" with an actual, conscious effort on her part to engage in the chastity together. Just putting on a device, with no change in her behavior at all would not be rewarding for either of us.

So I've been trying to figure out the right way to approach her, when to approach her, how much to tell her, what details to say, etc. But, as I said before, the more and more stressed I am getting at work (all time high), the more and more I'm wanting to just blurt it all out as we are sitting watching Glee or something. It's been maddening.

And with holidays, it seems like every day/night there is something new. My office party, her holiday get together she does with her friends every year, friends visiting, friends Holiday party, house issues, kids sports........ Just never ending.

I laugh, sometimes think that I'll just walk up to her at one of our parties, hand her a little key and whisper "honey, I've locked my penis into a metal chastity device and am giving you this key. I hope you will enjoy controlling all of my orgasms and don't worry, I will satisfy you sexually in all ways you deem proper during this time" and be done with it. Yea, I know, I'll never do that, because it wouldn't work, but still.

And now, back to work.

Daily Viewing

2010-12-09T07:29:00.000-08:00

I can't go a more than a couple of days without being tempted to view this tumblr:

http://yourbootblack.tumblr.com/

It's phenomenal.

And of course, here's a great photo from there:

I doubt I really need to point out why this photo is so alluring to me - books/panties/key. Wow

Photo

2010-12-02T14:55:00.001-08:00

Does anyone know why I posted this one?

You might have to click on the photo to figure out why

Topping from the Bottom

2010-11-10T16:45:00.000-08:00

In my "Effort" post a while back, I expressed the frustration with her seeming lack of desire to put forth any effort to "take matters into her own hand" so to speak, despite expressing enjoyment of the various WLM activities we engaged in. She definitely enjoyed the pedicures, service, etc., and enjoyed the tease & denial when in the moment.

That's not to say that she is actually telling me one thing, but feeling another. I know her well enough to know that if she did not enjoy them in the first place, she would not do them at all.

What's really happening is that she does not think about kink, or sex, or even WLM type things. So, even if she were interested in sex, she would never just put on simple lingerie and say "let's go" or anything like that. She claims that she just "doesn't think that way."

Part of that is she's never been like that. Ever. Now, the issue is compounded by the fact that we have kids and we both have stressful careers. For me, though, when I need to de-stress, I read other WLM/FLR blogs, think about fun things to do with her, think of ways to make her happy, etc. On a day to day basis, this is not something that she does. She's running around, juggling a lot of balls in the air, and then by the time I get home, just wants to get away and forget about everything. (For those of you old enough to remember, think of the "Calgon, take me away" commercials. Or even those Toyota commercials where the mom stays in the mini van.)

I read a post in another blog regarding WLM in which the wife seemed similar to mine by her inability and/or lack of desire to come up with rules or things that the sub needed to do for her. Instead, her decision was to require HIM to come up with the list, present it to her at the beginning of the week, and then subject to her changes and approval, it was up to him to complete the tasks.

I know that should I succeed in further developing this lifestyle, it is that type of action that will be necessary. And I'd be perfectly happy with that.

Best Photo Ever

2010-11-08T08:32:00.000-08:00

The following photo has been taken from http://yourbootblack.tumblr.com/. That tumblr is simply perfect in my eyes. The images collected and shared are directly in my wheel house.

One recently posted is actually .gif. Not sure if I know how to post a .gif, so if clicking on the photo does not open it in a new window in which the picture is moving, then head over to http://yourbootblack.tumblr.com/tagged/tease and scroll down till you find it.

Just seeing this got me thinking. I feel like if you show this to someone who's never engaged in chastity, female domination or bdsm etc., their initial reaction would go a long way to immediately determining whether they will ever be interested in that lifestyle. Much of our sexual turn-on's are not controllable. You see an image; you read a story; you have a stimulating discussion; you engage in some sexual activity - your reaction is not necessarily controllable. You see or do it and it turns you on. Or not.

I assume a woman, seeing this gif, would have the reaction of "ohhhhh, that looks delicious" or "ewe, gross." Of course, there are always shades of grey, but I still think that the actual photo - being tied up, the use of chastity device, and the gentle swinging of the key with the him following the gentle swing of the key - the is either something attractive or disturbing to the viewer.

So true!

2010-10-29T08:50:00.000-07:00

It's sad, but true.

Good News, I guess!

2010-10-26T09:42:00.000-07:00

We were talking recently, just in general, what we liked about sex. It wasn't a "tell me your deep dark secrets" kind of thing. It was things like "I like being on top more than missionary", "do you like doggie style more than on top" etc.

She stated that her favorite position is her on top (Cowgirl), with me using my fingers or some vibrating mechanism. The combination of penetration and clitorial stimulation really brings it all together for her. That position also hits her g-spot as much as it can straight intercourse, so that helps too. And, she really enjoys that she can go at whatever pace she wants.

And that's the good news, of course! One reason I don't believe I'll ever be able to convince her on extended periods of chastity, though, is because there is no way that when we are in that position that I can hold out before she's done. Just never going to happen. That's why I'm really considering buying one of those penis sheaths (also called extenders), or something to cover me up so that I don't feel it to make me last longer.

Pics

2010-10-19T14:43:00.000-07:00

No updates, but some great pix.

I have to give credit where I found them. If you get the chance, check out It's great.

Of course, I didn't re-blog them all, just ones that I found particularly interesting.

This first one is a no-brainer for me. What I wouldn't give for my wife to order me into this. I have to admit that the photo is probably a classic male centered view of domination (the garter belt with stockings and blouse), but still. For me, reading the book, enjoying the champagne and the position do it all for me.

I love this one for the pure torture. I'm sure it's still pleasurable for him, but clearly not what he wants. In my mind, she doesn't even let him finish off, even with the fleshlight.

Along the same lines of the first one, this photo captures the pure fun she's having with him. She doesn't want to be bothered, she wants to read her book, but she also wants to make sure that he's teased and denied. There's no way she can stroke consistently enough, long enough, or hard enough while reading the book because she's too engrossed in the book. So he'll just have to suffer, standing there hard for however long she wants.

These next ones are not from dishevelleddomina. I don't remember where I got them, so if they are yours and wish for me to take them down, please let me know. Regardless, can you imagine walking around the corner and finding her? She's confident, intelligent (obviously - she's reading books in the library!), she has fashion sense, she's proud of who she is, and she does not care what others think about her. She's a real woman. Wow.

Again, this woman is in charge. She wants the kiss. She is doing this all for her pleasure and she wants his cock. She'll do whatever she wants and he'll do whatever she wants.

The Slow Dance

2010-10-01T08:24:00.000-07:00

There was no full blown discussion about the "why" she did what she did the last time. But we did discuss sex in general. As you will recall, the last event occurred with me pleasing her orally and with hands. The time before that was the same.

While she loves that.......she emphatically expressed that she needs direct intercourse. She's not that big on toys, much preferring me instead of a dildo or vibrator. So, even if were able to engage in full blown chastity, I'm sure it couldn't be a long term chastity, unless there were simply no sexual encounters.

The problem (for me), is that there is an inverse relationship between the number of orgasms I have and the length of time I can hold out during sex. More and frequent orgasms = much longer staying power. Longer chastity = going off very quickly.

It's the "longer chastity = going off very quickly" that is the problem in intercourse. If she's needing/wanting a good session that way, if I've been in chastity, I simply will not last long enough to satisfy her.

And the reason I'm concerned about this is, well, if I ever hope to sell her on the idea of chastity, I want her to be happy and fulfilled too. This presents as stumbling block.

Now, there are definite ways to deal with the issue, so it's not a complete bar. The easiest solution is actually something that I would be completely happy with: it's all her decision. Chastity would be all up to her anyway - meaning she would have authority to determine how long it would last. One week? Two? 6 months? Whatever she wanted. Some might consider my willingness to allow her to decide not a risk at all because I know that she would never pick 6 months. She would not want to go without intercourse for 6 months.

And, of course, I'm getting wayyyyyyyyy ahead of myself because we're not even there yet!

A month between updates is too long!

2010-09-27T09:20:00.000-07:00

I could start the post with all of the banal "I'm busy, work, life, kids", yadda, yadda, yadda, but that's not necessary.

I know that my wife will never ever embrace a full WLM, with domestic discipline, much more kinkiness, gender play, strap-on play etc. For all submissive men, or in general BDSM players, that is what you want. I'm sure there will be many who claim that if it were a "real WLM", then you'd not want any of those things, and instead only want whatever she wanted. I'm sure there are people who are like that. All I can say is that for me, that would never work.

Does that mean I "require" all of those things to be happy? Hell no. Does it mean if she never adopts any of that, I'll never be happy? Nope. I'm very happy in my marriage. I am always looking to improve my life in all aspects. Marriage, relationships, work, kids - I never stop trying to improve situation and myself.

And I have been slowly successful in certain aspects. On the WLM front, it's becoming more and more normal for her to be more assertive. These aren't of the immediate erection inducing comments, but more of a comfortable, normal interaction between us.

Here are some examples:
On Saturday, I did a lot of yard work (hard stuff [not detailed to protect identities!], not just raking leaves type stuff) and was still working at when she got home. After I was done with that, I was upstairs taking a shower and we were talking about all the things we still had to do for the day (i.e., take one kid here, take another kid there etc). Her comment to me was: "And you have to figure out what you're making for dinner, because I'm certainly not cooking." I'm sure I don't have to explain why this comment is so perfect.

We still have never had any type of formal conversation about adopting a WLM. I've never given any of the WLM type books out there (though I've read some.) We most certainly haven't discussed "submissiveness" or played any of the "games" I introduced before in a long long time. Yet, I think that because of my casual introduction of these concepts to her, over the long haul, she's just becoming more comfortable and understanding of what works. It's not as if she consciously thought "I'm going to make a comment in this manner because I want to titillate him." No, instead she knows I like those comments/actions, encouraged her to continue that, and she has just adopted it more and more.

Don't get me wrong; I personally believe that we can take all of this much much further. But I am very happy that it is moving along, albeit slowly.

I am still moving forward with actually adopting a formal male chastity lifestyle though. In general, whenever we make love, if I have brought her off by oral or something other than intercourse, she always reciprocates. For a long time, I've made comments to her, before she starts, like "you know, you don't have to do that if you don't want" or something to that effect. She always wants to do it, and so we are all good.

A couple of nights ago, we were making love and after I worked her to several orgasms, she was reciprocating. We had a nice exchange, though I know she still doesn't fully understand the concept. She had made a comment, before starting, about making me happy. I used that opening to say to her that what would make me happier was if, instead of bringing to orgasm, she denied me. She was "game" for it, and teased me a lot, but I know she still didn't really understand why I'd want that, what it meant or anything like that. She also wasn't successful, because she brought me off in all the teasing!! I had tried to get her to stop, but she didn't stop quickly enough and I was too far gone.

She was into the idea, so that's all good. While it didn't really work, doesn't bother me in the least, because she's open to the idea, I believe. I don't know how open she'd be if I suggested we do it for a month, give her complete control or whatever.

The discussion we had that wasn't geared towards a temporary game, but it also wasn't a direct request to adopt it for the future. I know that if I push things, move things too quickly, or continually talk about these things with her, she shuts down. I let everything slide, though I did, that night, explain how much I liked the denial.

The real interesting thing happened a couple of days later. We were watching TV together on the couch. At a commercial, I got up and asked if she wanted anything. She said no, but she was looking good on the couch and so I went and kissed her. She responded well, so I continued and kept going. She was responding very well, so I pulled off her shorts and brought her to a great orgasm on my knees while she lay back on the couch. After number one, I sat on the couch and used my hands for #2 and #3.

Hugging and kissing her afterward, I said "that was so much fun" and "I love to do that with you." She was very appreciative and said so. She made no effort to reciprocate, but we snuggled for a long time. Eventually, I dressed her and we continued to watch TV. As we were sitting there, she let me caress her legs and feet for a while. She used one of her feet to play with my still extremely erect member. Nothing to bring me off, or even close, but more of a playful acknowledgement. After a while, she moved to put her head near my lap and snaked a hand into my shorts, and rested her hand near my balls. She casually stroked in the area, but again, nothing on the penis or any move to engage further.

That TV session was heaven!!! It was perfect. I loved every second of it. But, my question is, did she consciously do that - and I mean do everything? Did she not reciprocate because she knew I'd love it if she didn't? Did she allow me to caress her legs and feet afterward because she knew I'd love that and it would keep me going? Was the foot on my crotch very specific, or something that just presented itself at the time? Was the light caress specifically designed?

I don't know!!! I have to talk to her about it, because I think it can only be a win/win situation. If she was doing it all on purpose, with purpose and thought, then we are much closer to adopting the lifestyle. If she didn't do it all on purpose, then there is no harm in telling her how much I absolutely loved it. Either way, it's all looking good.

Effort

2010-08-30T14:07:00.000-07:00

It's boring to continually state that there have been no new developments, but, well, there haven't. That has been, I guess, my fault, since I have made no effort to advance a WLM. Nor have I made any effort to instill any lesser form of WLM, like just introducing chastity instead of a full fledged WLM. I haven't offered to do any pedicures or other pampering type things.

Part of the reason is lack of interaction on her part. She has not requested, hinted, or suggested that any of these things continue. She had not shown any interest. I have been extremely busy at work, working very long hours, and we did recently spend weekends away - not by choice, but it's just how it worked out.

I also have not made any advances on her. Which means, in a way, I am in Chastity because nothing has happened for a long time. I made a personal decision that I would not have an orgasm unless it was specifically done by her, so I'm struggling along in a situation that, I think, is more frustrating than actual Chastity! It's more of a deny and ignore situation, than a tease and deny. There is no teasing going on!

I know this shall pass, but I'm not sure when, or how.

Great Video!

2010-08-21T00:19:00.000-07:00

Sorry - still on the kick of women and books. She really knows her Ray Bradbury books!

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/70bf2e4f05/fuck-me-ray-bradbury

(you'll have to cut and paste that to watch it.)

Portman

2010-08-16T10:21:00.001-07:00

Can't resist re-blogging this!

Re-posted from http://bohemea.tumblr.com/post/959889595

Chickened Out!

2010-08-06T08:37:00.000-07:00

Everything I've done to this point in terms of developing a WLM has been mostly as little "games" to spice things up. There have been some informal, and some more formal, ways in which it has been implemented, but there has never been any "honey, I want to discuss with you about adopting a WLM" and then going from there. I have never formally opened up with the idea to her on a permanent basis.

While I have not, from my side, approached her, she has also never approached me on any aspect. She has not spontaneously discussed any aspect of WLM, Femdom, or other kink. That's not to say that sometimes during sex, she hasn't done some stuff. She did spontaneously spank me playfully once and there are some other things, but we've never been sitting there, after the kids were in bed, started to discuss any of this on a more permanent basis.

I've come to believe that for it to ever work, it will have to be a very gradual thing - one that will take years, if at all. Meaning, I do not believe if I tried to sit down and explain everything I would want/desire in a WLM, and then do a "boot camp" suggestion like the Around Her Finger people suggest, or take any other steps to implement the WLM immediately, that it would not work. She would be overwhelmed by the sudden change, feel pressured, and would take to the idea kicking and screaming, instead of embracing the idea.

So, realizing that it would have to be a very long, gradual change, my thoughts were to implement only portions of things that would give her control. I figured I could formally introduce distinct things that give her control and let that process run its way through, have her enjoy it, get a feel for it, embrace it and hopefully desire more control in other areas.

I came to the conclusion that I would approach her with complete orgasm control - that she would control all of my orgasms. She could have as many as she wanted and she could allow me to have as many as she wanted. I could not masturbate or have any orgasms unless she specifically granted that permission.

A long time ago, I wrote up a short letter to her to introduce the concept and idea, inviting for more discussion. That letter has been revised many times, but regardless, I never felt the time was right to give it her. I finally gathered the courage to do it.

The plan was to leave it on top of the coffee maker on Friday, a place where I knew she would absolutely see it, because she gets her coffee every morning. As the time drew near, I kept going back and forth on whether I should put it there or not. Finally, I decided to do it. Extremely hesitant and nervous, I did place it on the coffee pot and started to leave. As I was walking towards the door, she was coming downstairs, all dressed in her workout clothes. She is usually asleep when I leave, so I was sorta surprised to see her. She looked a little stressed already.

I asked how her day would be, if she was going to be busy, etc., and she started listing off all of these things she had to do, and I could tell she had a lot on her plate. Walking with her into the kitchen, I surreptitiously pulled the letter off of the coffee pot before she could see what it was. I know she saw me pull paper off, but I also know she had no idea what it was. We kissed goodbye and I went to work. She never mentioned anything about the paper.

It was the right decision. All that letter would have done if she read it that day was to stress her out more. It would not have been received well. I worked all day feeling good about not giving it to her, but also a little bummed that it hadn't happened yet.

Then, Friday night happened. Friday night was great, confusing, interesting and unexpected. We had dinner with another couple, which was fun. I can't say she ended up drunk, but she was definitely feeling the effects of alcohol. I would assume that it played a part in this, but when we got to bed, she wanted to play and play we did. Me on top ended with us both being happy, with completion inside her. Laying next to her afterward, still kissing, I could tell she was still in the "on" mode. Usually, after one, she is willing to call it a night. It's almost like I have to convince her to go for round two. This night, however, was different. As I was caressing her, she was very receptive, giving me clear signals that she wanted more.

Her reaction stirred a reaction in me. The more I caressed and kissed, the more I was very interested in giving her more. The question was "how." As I've discussed below, I'm one of the ones who finds creampies extremely exciting, yet have a difficulty in doing them because immediately after orgasm, the desire immediately goes away. Well, this time, since we were continuing, she was responding, and I could feel how engorged and slick she was, the idea was getting more and more attractive.

It happened and it was phenomenal. I loved it. I know she loved it. But what I don't know if she understood what happened! I would assume she did, but she's never mentioned it. You would think that it was a foregone conclusion that she absolutely knew about, but with her, I'm not so sure. Maybe she just chooses to not think about it. I don't know.

She also made a comment that night that I didn't understand. I can't repeat it, but it was kink related comment that absolutely requires me to find out from her what she was trying to say. I don't know if she even knows what she was trying to say, but the simple fact that she brought it up was positive. Again, it's that slow moving train.

All I know is that I want to repeat that night, I need to find out what she meant by the comment, and I feel emboldened to give that letter. When it gets delivered, again, is still something I want to be careful with.

Lighten Up!

2010-08-05T08:59:00.000-07:00

First off - no updates on anything - career, family, friends, finances, etc., have taken precedence. Now is not the time to try to further implement a more defined and acknowledged WLM. We have connected a lot recently, but when you finally approach her, you want to do it when you think it has the best chances of working. It's not always just what you say, it's when and how you say it too. That time will come.

The Federal Court just shot down Prop 8 in California. I'm sure everyone is actually aware of Prop 8, but essentially, California voted to define a marriage between a man and a woman, obviously, which would prevent homosexual couples from getting married.

I will not step into a legal, political, and religious landmine and attempt to discuss the issue. I find that instead of opening a discussion, it invites the extremes from both sides to rattle their sabres, completely shutting out any sense of resolving anything.

Instead, that ruling, along with the idea that there are so many people out there who are hesitant to even bring up their most intimate desires to people they love has me thinking that I just wish people would just lighten the hell up!!!!!! Honestly, there are so many repeated examples of people reacting negatively to the honest truth of someone else, it's sickening.

A person comes out as being homosexual and fears all of the negative reactions from family, friends and loved ones. A person comes out as being transgendered and it's almost worse than coming out as being homosexual. Even things that people who are naturally kinky would think are very "vanilla", such as asking your partner to tie you up, freaks some people out. Asking for role play. Tease & Denial. It just blows me away that people have so many hangups about anything related to sex.

I understand that people are different and that's actually good for the world. I understand that no matter how kinky you are, you have limits and things that will not interest you. A woman who loves being a FemDom may not like forced feminization for her man. A woman who loves male chastity may not enjoy FemDom. You get the point.

But, it just seems to me to that there are way too many people who's view is that anything other than "normal" sexual relations is considered deviant, distasteful and refuse to have an open mind to explore themselves, their partners and the world.

Open up. Be more understanding. Be more adventerous. Be less judgemental. It would make people happier, in my humble opinion. Go out there and try something new people!!! Keep an open mind about it, discuss it, enjoy it and if it fails, just chalk it up as a learning experience!

No updates

2010-07-07T09:31:00.000-07:00

I would love to have made an update that said we were going forward, or heck, even backward, but unfortunately, there is nothing to report. A million things going on, and our relationship is still very strong, and we're very much still in love. So everything is great. Just nothing on the WLM front.

Now, if I can ever win that lottery - I would ensure that I could have this in my new house!!!

Wonderful photo shoot

2010-06-18T18:58:00.001-07:00

Found this great set of a girl reading books. Love it!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gabdar/sets/72157624292769100/

Be Careful What You Wish For

2010-06-18T14:42:00.001-07:00

When discussing FLR, WLM, Femdom, Chastity, or any type of D/s, you'll find the warning "be careful what you wish for, you just might get it." Sarah at the Male Chastity Blog has posted about it, Vanessa Chaland mentioned it in a comment to the last post (though I took her comment in the vein she meant it - something lighthearted and playful), the "Being Her Knight" blog discusses it, and there are many many other examples out there.

The warning exists because there are so many men who enter this arena without thinking about the consequences. They generally want to get their rocks off and they're only thinking with that head. They want to play a game, have a little kink, and control the entire thing from the bottom, as it were.

The warning in my case will never apply and, even on a general scale, I don't think it actually ever applies. The warning presumes that the woman just might take the whole thing farther than the man ever intended or even wanted. The warning is unrealistic because the number of times in which the wife goes from a non-player to one who goes well beyond the limits of the man is extremely small.

From my observations of people, extreme changes in behavior and desires throughout life is very rare. I'm old enough to have known a lot of people for a long period of time. The core of these people haven't changed. Yes, they have grown, matured, and changed. But none have had extreme personality changes. My friend's wife hasn't gone from being milquetoast to a biker chick. She has becomes slightly less uptight, but she's still uptight. None of my wild friends have become suburban, stay at home moms.

True, people do and can change. But for the most part, their personality is their personality throughout their lives. And from what I've seen, sometimes the opposite actually occurs. The person who is cheap in his 30's only becomes more cheap as the years pass. The person who is risk averse becomes more and more risk averse as the person gets older.

Getting to sex, unless there is some drastic life changing event (like divorce - I have seen many divorced people drastically change their behavior), the person's sexual preference generally stays the same. If there is someone who is not kinky by 25, 30, or 40, they usually don't all of a sudden start getting seriously kinky. If the wife refuses to give her husband blowjobs in her 20's, she's not going to all of sudden start swallowing in her 40's. Again, I'm talking in generalities. There are always exceptions.

This is a long winded way of saying that if your wife is not into something that is traditionally "kinky", then while you may have luck in getting her to enjoy and adopt the lifestyle, the chances that her behavior is going to change so drastically that she's going to end up forcibly feminizing you against your will, putting you into chastity longer than you desire, cuckolding you, prohibiting you from seeing your friends, or spanking you much longer or harder than you ever wanted is about as good as winning the lottery.

The other aspect is that if she took the idea well beyond your own limits, well, that doesn't sound like a very good marriage to me either. I find it interesting that in so many of these WLM/FLR situations, it is the man who initiates the concept. I suspect that in the overwhelming majority of them, the wife rejects the idea. I have no quality evidence of this, and I'm not a Sociologist or anything, but it would appear to me that the number of success stories are lower than the number of "failures." Consider, though, what happens in those "failures." Presumably, the man will attempt to introduce the concept and the wife rejects the idea because it is a "limit" she does not want to, or is unwilling to, breach. Unless the relationship or marriage ends, the man respects the limit and they then hopefully continue on happily living their lives together.

In those "failures", the man respected her limits and moved on. But in this "Be Careful What You Wish For" warning, it presupposes that the woman is not respecting his limits. I personally do not want to be in a relationship in which anyone is pushing me past my limits after my objections.

Pushing the limits is the fine line. The saying is "you should do one thing a day that scares you." I agree. It's obviously not possible every day, but I try. I actively seek and desire from my wife is to push my limits. That hasn't happened, of course. But I would supremely happy to have her interact with me, understanding me, understanding us, understanding what to do with me and to me, pushing and testing the limits. I'd love for her to see that edge and take me there, push me slightly over, but knowing that in our relationship of love and trust, we can always pull back if pushed too far.

Earlier I mentioned I didn't want to be in a relationship in which that person pushed me past my limits when I didn't want them to. Which is why the warning won't apply to me. I know my wife and I know that even if she were to adopt a WLM, not only would she never come close to trying to push past my limits, but we would never do that to each other. I do and would respect any of her limits.

Even if she were to fully adopt a WLM, it would be done together - in our marriage and I know that neither of us would ever do anything against the other's ultimate wishes.

Anyone know where to get this?

2010-06-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

For many people who are in Femdom relationships, the man is also in some sort of chastity or orgasm control. There are many where the woman still wants penetrative sex from the man, but does not want the man to orgasm etc.

I found this picture of what appears to be an interesting way to solve the problem. It looks like a thick dildo that goes over the cock and balls, almost like a cock-ring, but then the penis is encased inside the thick dildo. It looks to me that it allows the man to fuck the woman with the dildo, but not feel anything. All without the need/use of a strap-on.

Unfortunately, I did not find this on any toy store. Has anyone seen this before? Do you know where to get it? Any reviews of it?

Slow Seduction

2010-06-04T10:58:00.000-07:00

My goal of slowly introducing ideas and actions with her is going well. Of course, it's going slow.

Still, throughout the recent weeks, I've taken the opportunity to casually bring subjects up in a non threatening way. We've had brief discussions about them. It's not like sitting her down and verbally throwing up on her, claiming I want her to take control of everything, put me in a chastity device, sign a WLM contract etc.

About a week ago we had a discussion about spanking. I know she does not like to be spanked, but I admitted that she could spank me if she wanted. She did not seem interested in spanking me at all, but we were actually cleaning the backyard at the time we were having this discussion, so I think she was more focused on cleaning that picturing a spanking.

Anyway, last night she was feeling frisky and we engaging in a little fun and I brought up spanking again. Let's just say that after making her extremely happy, while performing on me, she began spanking me. Would she have spanked me had I not brought it up? Of course not. That she did spank, however, and then even commented that "if I spank you again will you do that for me again" are all steps in the right direction!

Women and Books

2010-06-01T12:15:00.000-07:00

I love to read. My wife loves to read. She loves to read so much, though, that when she is actually reading, the last thing she wants is me bothering her. Which makes it even worse for me because when she's sitting there on the couch, or in bed, engrossed in a book, I want to jump her!!!! One time (I've written about it on this blog), she had me naked and tied to the bed post and then sat there reading for a long time. She didn't do it because she knew the effect on me - she did it because we were playing the Game (and I had to be tied up for a period of time) and she just wanted to read! Still, very nice for me.

Here are some great photos of women and books!

Friday Photos

2010-05-28T12:49:00.000-07:00

Got these from http://eagerlicker.tumblr.com/

Love this first one. She's thoroughly enjoying it. She's looking down at him with approval - like he's doing a very good job. He's focused on her, keeping her legs up.

This one touches many of my favorites. I have a thing for books and libraries. Should I ever become incredibly rich, one thing I'd want is a huge study, lined with books. It may sound odd, but women getting naughty in a library really get me going. Being in a place with so much knowledge and so many different worlds to explore that she becomes horny - well, seriously, that's unbelievably sexy.

Now this picture just gets my imagination running wild. I imagine she's at home, with her husband in chastity. She knows how turned on he gets when she teases and how sexy she looks to him when she reads. So she's just sitting there, in her little corner, waiting for him to walk by and see her. The look on her face in the photo is the exact time in which she sees the look on his face when he first encounters this scene. Mmmmm, delicious.

Life Interrupts

2010-05-24T08:41:00.000-07:00

These things are cyclical, but man, we've barely had time to see each other, let alone anything fun together recently. Hoping for some alone time this weekend.

Friday Photo

2010-05-14T10:10:00.000-07:00

The shoe dangle is an underated move by women. Many women are clueless on the effect they have on men when they do it. Other women, however, are very very knowledgeable.

Besides the shoes dangle, I love the slight peek of the left breast and the panties, and the divine legs and smile. (Yet again, though, the decor is really odd. The chair? The fan?)

I was wrong, I think

2010-05-10T14:44:00.000-07:00

In my "Formality" post I wrote: "Since the conclusion, however, I have made the gradual effort to introduce WLM to her, to no apparent, broad based success."

A couple of days after that post, we were eating dinner and, completely out of the blue, she just blurted out, "you know, I think I'm going to have your Dad paint my toe-nails tonight. I really need a new color."

While I initially thought my efforts to introduce WLM had fallen on deaf ears, I now believe that I was wrong. Why? Well, I believe that she would never have made that comment, or even have that specific desire, had I never given her pedicures in the past as part of our discussions of me being submissive. Of course, in her mind, she probably didn't think "I know that my husband wants me to be in charge. I have to come up with things that I can make him do. I think I'll have him do my toe-nails." No, instead, she probably just wanted a new color and thought I'll have him do them for me.

The more things that she identifies that she enjoys, and the more that she becomes more and more comfortable with asking for them to be done, and the more that I identify her needs and meet those needs, the closer we get to a WLM.

Now, for a variety of reasons, the pedicure did not happen last night. I could have, and have done in the past, sent an email to her about how happy I was that she asked that, telling her much it turned me on, and telling her that the other things she did over the weekend turned me on and were great Femdom things etc. I know that she doesn't respond particularly well to those types of emails. Instead, I simply told her that since we didn't the chance for the pedicure last night, that I would love to do it for her tonight and asked her what color she wanted. She responded with a color and a smiley face and that was the end of the exchange. Which is a great thing. She's not weirded out, but she knows I liked it, and she's looking forward to it tonight.

Friday Picture

2010-05-07T11:10:00.000-07:00

I think everyone who reads my blog will look at this and smile.

Formality

2010-05-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

I have had some people ask me if I have ever approached my wife with a formal request to adopt of WLM or FLR. I have not.

I introduced "The Game" in October, which was the first formal request for anything overtly Femdom or more hardcore kink. At the time it was introduced, it was not designed to surreptitiously introduce a WLM into the relationship. It was purely a kink/sex game. That Game was fun, for both of us, and I think it was an important first step.

As many know, introducing the vanilla wife to the kink before the other aspects of WLM is usually not recommended. I think the difference for me and our relationship was that she always knew of my kink, but not necessarily of the "submissive" streak. Sure, the kink included BDSM, but we've done both. There were many times in the past that I did many things to her (tied her up, blindfold, food, ice, toys, teasing etc.). In a way, the kink was not a surprise to her.

Now, the Game wasn't necessarily some part of a master plan to introduce a WLM to her. We hadn't engaged in any kink in a long time and I was inspired to create that Game.

Since the conclusion, however, I have made the gradual effort to introduce WLM to her, to no apparent, broad based success. I've confessed my submissive desires to her, we've engaged in my things that are considered WLM, and I've volunteered to, and done, many acts of service to her that is detailed in previous posts. She has enjoyed all of this, but yet has never made any effort to take it any further.

In fact, I firmly believe that if I never brought up my serving her, pampering her, or anything like that, she would never bring it up again. Same thing with the kink aspect. If I never brought out any toys, or cuffs, she would never do it on her own.

The question then has been - why have you not asked her specifically to adopt a WLM or trying a WLM "boot camp" or something.

The short answer to that question is: because I don't think she's at a point where she would be receptive to that suggestion. I have my doubts that she'll ever be ready or willing to engage in it, but regardless, I just think that her reaction right now would be one of the following:

a. To be weirded out by the formality, uncomfortable with it and afraid that it would require significant effort to create domestic and sexual scenarios, all of which she would not know what to do; or
b. To engage in it as another "game", but not really have her heart in it to adopt it as a lifestyle change.

This may be just too much analysis and trepidation on my part. I have struggled with how to properly and effectively communicate my thoughts to her so as to avoid those fears, but haven't figured it out yet.

Should I suggest the idea, and attempt to incorporate the idea, too soon, I fear it would ruin the idea for the foreseeable future.

So, that's the explanation as to why I haven't done it yet. I continue to contemplate how to approach her.

Personality

2010-04-28T08:36:00.000-07:00

In addition to my own desire for a more WLM, part of the reason I believed this was something that she would embrace is that she already has a dominant personality. And, in many ways, we already had incorporated certain traditional WLM aspects without ever any overt acknowledgment.

Still, a recent discussion with her now has me wondering about the viability of the WLM, and it doesn't even have anything to do with sex!

In a nutshell, she likes/thrives on conflict. Now, conflict does not mean arguing, yelling, disagreements, or anything negative. The conflict I'm talking about is two strong personalities butting heads on an issue to come to the best possible solution. The discussions that occur, with both people bringing out the salient points is something that drives the intellect on her side (well, and mine too) and we have been successful in this interaction.

I have found that when I begin to agree with her all the time, or do what she says all of the time, she does not actually like it nearly as much and gets less lively. So now I'm sort of at a loss how to reconcile this with the future.

Another Pic

2010-04-20T08:48:00.001-07:00

Love details in this picture by the photographer. Country kitchen, with the stark white of her lingerie. The pink heels are an interesting contrast. It draws the eyes directly to it, and then you notice the curve of her foot in those heels and how high they actually are.

The line on her calf is delicious.

She not stick thin - her leg is shapely and wonderfully sexy, especially how he's digging into her thigh a little.

I actually like that the faces are not in the photograph - so you're focusing more on the bodies than face.

Of course, he has a tremendous body too, just adding to the overall sexiness of the moment.

(P.S. - I should note that the last two photographs were taken from http://queentakesknight.tumblr.com/)

Hmmm

2010-04-16T08:53:00.001-07:00

A little Friday fun.

I like pictures, but only when they tickle my fancy. This one? Well, who decides to include the vacuum in the background?

Normal part 2

2010-04-13T10:57:00.000-07:00

Last night was a great night for us. Well, things didn't go well for her at work, and she was not happy, but it was out of her control. It wasn't anything she had done wrong, it's just that sometimes things don't work out. So, after a long time of stress at work all day, she was sitting on the love seat and I was sitting on the couch, discussing the day.

After we had a nice talk, she got up and came back with a snack to watch tv before going to bed. I knew she was trying to calm down after a long, difficult, stressful day, so I took the snack from her as she sat on the couch and I began to give her a massage, which she thoroughly enjoyed and needed. It ended with me on my knees, pleasuring her. There was no reciprocation. She was pleased, de-stressed and happy and we just went to bed.

Now, I'm positive that at the time it was occurring last night, she did not view it as anything "femdom", her being dominant, me being submissive, any type of WLM or anything kinky at all. She just viewed it as a husband being sensitive to his wife's needs.

To me, though, it served to fuel many of my submissive desires. On my knees. Even after I was done, and her pants were back on, I purposefully stayed on the floor, at her feet, while she sat on the couch, as we continued to talk. That she made no effort to reciprocate to me also fueled my submissive side. We both went to bed happy.

Today, acknowledging her difficult day yesterday, we texted many times. In one of the last ones, I told her I wanted to do something for her tonight, and that if she wanted anything in particular, to just ask me and I'll do it for her. She happily responded that she'd think of something.

We are no where near an acknowledged WLM. But a WLM is becoming more and more integrated into our relationship and she's embracing it as something normal and enjoyable. Her reaction to my text wasn't shock, embarrassment, surprise, disgust or fear. Instead of being apprehensive about what type of crazy sex game I was going to try to impose on her, or fear of unknown, or something, her reaction was one of immediate happiness. The more I keep doing things on my own (which I have) and the more I keep offering things, the more comfortable she is becoming with the idea of the relationship, even if it is not yet specifically acknowledged.

Now, what she comes up with tonight should be interesting. As much as I would love it, I know that I won't come home to her with a strap-on and a collar. I'm sure it will be something as simple as a massage, a bath or a pedicure or something like that. But I will love doing that for her more than the strap-on fantasy because I'll be doing it for her and it'll be what she wants. And as the days, months, and years go on, she may become more and more open to other things.

Normal

2010-04-06T16:22:00.000-07:00

Normal is so non-descriptive that it is a useless term. Most people use the term "normal" to mean "the majority." The problem is that they then judge the people in the minority as being deviant. The faulty logic usually goes like this: the majority of people live in a household which is male dominated, so male dominated households are normal. If you live in a female dominated household, you are deviant, your thoughts and lifestyle are subject to ridicule and you're not as important or valuable as the "normal" people.

In fact, anyone who studies human sexuality realizes that the spectrum for sexual activities is so diverse that there is no such thing as "normal." Normal is defined as "conforming to the standard or the common type." Any type of non-vanilla sex may be considered deviant by the vanilla people, but all of this so-called deviant behavior is actually so prevalent and common, that it can only be considered "normal" in the true definition of that word.

Outwardly, the majority of the people present their vanilla selves to others, but then in the bedroom, they engage in the so-called deviant behavior. There are no shortages of surveys which reveal that Americans in particular are much more adventurous in bedroom than anyone actually realizes. While anonymous polls show that more than 50% have engaged in BDSM activities in the bedroom, generally your co-worker is not going to reveal to you that he tied up his wife the other night. Or his wife spanked him last night.

Essentially, what occurs is that everyone thinks everyone else is vanilla in the bedroom. I know that if you polled all my friends, none would even come close to guessing what I like and dislike in the bedroom.

Which just goes to show that there should be no judging what other people like to do in the bedroom. As long as those two consenting adults are happy together, it works for them, then those people should actually be applauded, not ridiculed!

I'm not even sure why having a lifestyle or view that is not the "norm" is considered deviant. More specifically, I'm confused as to why WLM is considered deviant or odd.

The personality spectrum for males is wide, from extremely masculine to extremely feminine and everywhere in between. The same for females. So when two individuals develop a relationship, is it really that difficult to believe and/or understand that they will have their own unique interaction? An interaction that, for them, makes them happy?

This concept dovetails into the "gradual" concept I posted about before. I was wondering why most people who discuss WLM state that when introducing it to the wife, it must be dealt with caution and trepidation, as if the idea is deviant. To me, expressing WLM needs and desires to your wife should be no different than her expressing whatever needs and desires she wants to you. It's not very realistic, though, I realize.

My issue is to slowly introduce the concept to her on such a gradual basis, that, at least between us, it becomes normal in her eyes, as opposed to any type of deviant thing. Instead of sitting her down and explaining that I want a full WLM, that I want her to take control of my orgasms and put me in a chastity device 24/7, that I want her to put forth a series of chores I have to do, etc., I've taken to just offering things to her.

If I'm feeling submissive, I'll let her know that I would like to do something for her, or that I'd like to serve her. I'll communicate to her that if she wants something done, like a massage or a pedicure, I'll be very happy to do it. I'll let her know that if she would like to order me to do anything that night, she's free to do so. It's not ideal, and not how I want it to be ultimately, but my hope is that more and more that I do those things, the more and more she gets used to it, so that eventually, we keep growing into a more outwardly WLM.

Gradual

2010-03-17T11:11:00.000-07:00

My decision to move slowly, gradually and less "in your face" about adopting a more WLM has been reaping rewards, however slight they may be.

Instead of bombarding my wife with discussions about a WLM, or Femdom sexual activities, I've started just to slowly try to incorporate WLM ideals into the marriage on a "normal", day-to-day basis. An example is the pedicure I gave to her. When that was offered to her, I did not explicitly mention WLM or Femdom, or me being submissive. Instead, it was offered as "I'd like to do this for you."

I have continued to offer to do things for her, but again, without any explicit or overt mention of WLM. Parenthetically, she wouldn't even know what WLM stands for, as I've never discussed that with her, though I have used the terms Femdom, submissive, dom, etc.

By doing this, she's come to the understanding, I think, that she can order me to do anything, and I'd gladly do it. Of course, I've let her know that, but actually realizing that I'm not kidding is a different story. Since trying this tactic, and making it more and more of a normal thing, I do believe she is accepting an embracing it.

She's been a little under the weather recently - nothing major. She's still working and not requiring any special treatment. While it's been getting better, she has some lingering issues she can't seem to shake. Today, we were emailing each other about planning events in the summer and, in the process, I inquired how she was feeling today and then said "if I can do anything, let me know." Now, this is a normal exchange between a husband and wife. One is sick, the other offers to help. Absolutely nothing WLM about that.

However, in response, she said that it sucked she wasn't as much fun lately because of the sickness, and then said "I'll make it up to you ... or let you make it up to me!"

Maybe I'm just in a good mood and reading too much into it, but I don't think that's something she would have sent before. Bringing it up on her own, thinking about it on her own, is new. Feeling comfortable enough to bring it up during a vanilla conversation is new. And it makes me believe that she has been enjoying the things I've been doing for her to the point where she wants more. All good things in my book.

The Relationship

2010-03-05T11:06:00.001-08:00

Susan's Pet brought up a slew of interesting points in his comment on the "Future" post (http://shes-a-wonderful-wife.blogspot.com/2010/02/future.html). I am going to address them because they were thought provoking, and worthy of a full post.

1) Susan's Pet wrote: "I must guess that you have not been married for many years, and still see the world through rosy-colored glasses." I took the term "rosy-colored glasses" to mean that I am unrealistically expecting the best of all possible results. I have to say that is not true. In no way do I ever expect that she'll be the perfect embodiment of a Dominant or that we'll end up living in a perfect Femdom relationship from my point of view. I don't think that any type of marriage is like that.

On the other hand, I do feel optimistic that as the concepts are introduced and dealt with on a more frequent basis, that we can develop a relationship that incorporates significant Femdom aspects, that will be appealing to us both. As mentioned before, we have engaged in Femdom and she has liked to participate. So, I do think that it will be incorporated.

2) Susan's Pet wrote: "It is unlikely that your wife will see your needs the way you see them, even if you stay married for decades. We all have our needs, and it is unlikely that yours and hers will coincide perfectly." I would agree with this, but again, I don't think that's possible in almost any marriage. It would be remarkable if that ever occurred.

Dan Savage (http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=3489193) recently addressed a woman who sought advice regarding her husband's desire to have anal sex with her. His response, I thought, was spot on. He wrote: "I think we should all be—as I've written about a hundred thousand times—good (in bed), giving (of pleasure, of indulgences), and game (for very nearly anything), aka GGG. And I frequently like to remind married people—particularly, married people who value monogamy—that they willingly assumed sole responsibility for their spouses' sexual fulfillment. That said, NEA, we are each entitled to our likes and dislikes. While it would be wonderful if every couple's sex life consisted entirely of acts that both partners found equally thrilling—so egalitarian! So fairzees!—a fulfilling sex life is too important, particularly for monogamous couples, to trust in coincidence alone."

Married couples are almost always not going to have perfectly synced libidos, likes and dislikes etc. On the other hand, if my wife likes something, even if it doesn't excite me like it does her, I'm going to do it and try to keep doing it for her because she likes it. Expecting that you can have an intelligent conversation with your wife about doing something sexually different and having her be game in trying it is not far fetched. That's the way it should be. If it's a "hard limit" for her, of course it's not going to be done. And she's been willing to do certain things, but not others.

Susan's Pet is definitely correct, because at this stage in her life, I do not expect her to all of a sudden become extremely kinky, just like it would be unlikely if I all of a sudden became very vanilla.

Getting to the middle, however, I think is something we are actually moving towards.

3) Susan's Pet wrote: "However, that does not mean the end of all. Try to put her needs before yours, for example, '... I explained that while she doesn't have to have sex every night, she can always just tease me...' has to do with your needs, not hers."

I already do put her needs before mine. He was correct that in the way the sentence was written, it sounds more about my needs than hers. Even without an outwardly identified and adopted WLM or Femdom, we virtually lead that type in the bedroom anyway. Whenever we make love, the focus is already on her. My orgasms are almost secondary. 90% of the time, we are in the cowgirl position because that's what she likes best. She is multi orgasmic, so she usually has two or three orgasms to my one.

My point in writing the sentence regarding "she doesn't have to have sex every night, she can always just tease me..." was actually more about her than about me. When having discussions about this lifestyle, or sex in general, her response has always been that she doesn't want sex as frequently as I do. She has a tendency shut down after the kids are in bed, to focus on de-stressing and, consequently, we do not spend time together because I'm gone at work all day. In trying to increase our interaction, I tried to impress upon her that any little interaction is better than nothing. So while I understand and respect that she does not want to have sex every night, I only suggested that we do something else. I just suggested other ways in which to handle the situation. Ignoring your spouse is not healthy. Acknowledging the other, even if it is to simply say "not tonight", is much better.

After a long weekend, she was very tired last night. I ended up watching a movie upstairs, while she watched the Oscars down stairs. We didn't interact at all, but I was respecting her desire to be left alone. Today, completely unprovoked by me, she explained herself about last night and then said that we should do something fun tonight. My response was asking if she wanted any service tonight, like a massage, manicure, anything she needed me to do, and she responded that she really wanted a pedicure.

I've been very happy all day long since that exchange. Happy that she acknowledged last night, happy that she suggested we do something fun, happy that she responded enthusiastically to my query about serving her and happy because of the anticipation of doing all of that for her. I immediately began brainstorming on what to do for her in addition to just painting her toes. I'm sure she just thinks that she'll receive new nail polish, but I'm going to do the whole nine yards for her, with a robe, foot soak, foot scrub, foot massage, drinks for her and some strawberries and cream. It's going to be a great evening!

4) Susan's Pet wrote: "Find out what turns her on, and work on that while getting a kick out of serving her like that. It may not work, but what do you have to lose? Being selfish in the way of needing to serve someone is all right. Just don't be selfish in expecting her to serve you. Unless you are a dominant, it is the wrong emotion."

That is the trick. I am trying to do that for her. It is a long process. In our domestic life, I already do alot for the household and her. Dishes, cleaning, kids, fixing things etc. She is an over achiever, high energy type anyway, so getting her to relax and be pampered is difficult. She feels guilty if I'm doing house work and she's relaxing. I've explained that she deserves to relax, deserves to be happy that that it does make me happy to do these things for her. Still, her nature is to be moving around, not relaxing.

And having her take the next step, however, in an active dominant position is different than just me doing things to please her. It's a slight differentiation. I do like to do things for her and she enjoys them. Having her overtly acknowledge her power, or acknowledge my surrender to her power takes it to a different level that is difficult to achieve.

My mission is to please her. And while I am not demanding that she "please me" in any certain way, I do believe that the Dominant is under a requirement to make sure the sub is happy as well. How that is accomplished is up to her, of course. We are in a relationship, and I know she loves me, so she does want me to be happy too.

Future Part 2

2010-03-01T13:55:00.000-08:00

I read many blogs and other information on Femdom and WLM. I'm not referring to pure "porn." I'm referring to sites that discuss the issue of Femdom/WLM. When reading these, it is clear that, in the vast majority of cases, when the husband is the one to bring the issue of Femdom/WLM to the wife, it takes a long time for the wife to fully embrace and engage. Many report that it took over two years for them to fully be open, embrace and engage in the lifestyle.

She has known since before we were married about my predilection towards Femdom. And, as I've mentioned before, we had dabbled in it many times, but never ever on any sustained basis. So, when I brought up the Game back in October to her, it didn't come as a shock to her. Some of the specifics of the game were shocking to her, but the whole concept was not out of the blue. Based on that, I felt I had a little bit of a head start.

Knowing her as I do, I was under no delusion that she would embrace everything about it immediately and fully. I thought, even at the beginning, was that it would be a long process.

What I have realized recently is that our current issues have nothing to do with WLM, her interest or lack of interest, but simply everything to do with our relationship in general. And that means both of us being too busy, stresses due to children and finances, getting older, working out etc.

The light bulb sorta went on last night when, as we were in bed going to sleep, we were discussing just day to day life, what she had done that day, what I had done, family etc., and it was a very nice talk. In essence, catching up. At some point, we discussed the lack of intimate activity recently, and it was not accusatory between either of us. It was just a recognition of where we were. But within that discussion, we also talked briefly about the Game, and Femdom in general, and she stated again that she really did enjoy it.

I was very surprised and happy, however, when she actually stated that what she did enjoy about it the most was that we were intimate more frequently, we talked more and she did enjoy the attention. That was music to my ears.

At All Times stated "I think I have proved to Jane that this is not just sexual, it’s not just a game, and that I am not seeking to change our relationship into something seedy, but is based upon our love and devotion for each other as a couple." That sentiment is exactly what I am seeking. Our discussion last night leads me to believe that she at least recognizes that this is my true intention. That it is not something for her to do so I can get my own rocks off.

Subtly, too, I enjoyed the idea that the discussion was perceived as "normal." There was a communication about the subject without any apprehension, nervousness, disgust or anything like that.

Many people have been kind enough to read my blog and leave comments, which I greatly appreciate, and have provided quality advice. One such piece of advice has been that it is a long process and to let her grow into the idea at her pace. Sometimes it is difficult to do so, but the discussion last night shows how the advice is correct.

Of course, now I just need to find time to be with her!

Funny.

2010-02-24T12:37:00.000-08:00

Listening to the USA v. Switzerland hockey game. Announcer just said: "You know, they're not allowing a lot of penetration, and that can be frustrating."

I know it's juvenile, but I had to chuckle at that!

Future

2010-02-23T15:08:00.000-08:00

Going into this whole attempt to introduce my wife to Femdom, I knew several things that were stacked against me.

1. I am much more open minded.
2. I am much more adventerous.
3. I have had a lifetime of experimentation and fantasies.

I have previously tried different things to "spice things up" in the bedroom. I once dropped her off at a sex shop (an upscale one, in a nice area - not your stereotypical seedy XXX shop) and sent her in there to buy whatever she wanted. I've suggested, and then, videotaped us. I have been the one to always suggest any type of bondage. It was all very basic - just tying her to the bed etc.

So I shouldn't be too surprised when she has not taken to any of this, unless it is at my urging. I really don't wish to keep being the one to bring it up and while many would think that is because I don't want to "top from the bottom" or some other similar reason it's because I've realized that what I'm looking for doesn't exist when I'm always the one to introduce Femdom.

What is that? What doesn't exist, you ask?

It's actually two things, but very closely connected. It's the extreme closeness felt with someone when she's the dom and I'm the sub and the psychological effect it has on me, and hopefully her.

I know that she's trying these things at my behest, but that, despite her prostestations to the contrary, I don't believe she truly enjoys them. I'll put it this way: she always says she's enjoying herself and likes being in control. Her action completely betray those statements. If she truly enjoyed being in control, why would she never ever take control, unless I initiate the control.

Since I made dinner for her in early January, I have not initiated any sexual activity or any Femdom activities. I have, on the other hand, been a very loving and caring husband. It isn't as if I've been ignoring her, not talking to her, not doing my share around the house, not making dinner, not taking care of the kids or anything like that. Just haven't initiated anything. And yet, during that same time, she has not initiated anything remotely sexual or Femdom.

Back on New Years, we did have a dicussion about my being submissive. Not a complete 100% disclosure, but a discussion about submissiveness and how it would be between us. She stated that the whole submissive thing is fine with her. She had reservations about a lot of things, including a feeling of "guilt." She felt "guilty" about inflicting punishment, or pain, or denying orgasms, because it seemed to her like it's wrong and mean.

Obviously, I explained that that is the point! It's not mean, because I enjoy it. We discussed it more about being a Femdom. I tried explaining that in many ways, we already live in a WLM! She already does many WLM things, such as planning parties without even asking me first, being in charge of the finances, asking me to get her drinks etc. I simply suggested that she expand on that.

I explained that while she doesn't have to have sex every night, she can always just tease me. Meaning, a small comment here or there. Pat on the cock and tell me it's too bad it can't cum etc. Flirt with me. Anything.

And yet, that's the problem. Nothing. So, if she really did like it, really did enjoy it, she would initiate it. But even if she did, it is completely lacking in passion. I don't ever want to feel as if I'm dragging her kicking and screaming into anything. My impression is that she's just doing it because it's something I want, and I ask, so she does it.

If that were the case, then some ask "what's wrong with that." I do not want to make this a one sided thing. I truly thought that she would embrace it more and that it would bring us closer as a couple. And there you have it - I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Friday Photos

2010-02-19T16:12:00.001-08:00

I think you can easily figure out the theme. Have a great weekend, and hopefully your weekend includes an event like these photos.